Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
S hae
“I can’t eat another bite!”
“But the pad thai is sooo good!” Kinsley whined, trying to shove the almost empty container in my face.
I pushed it away. “The baby will pop when the baby’s ready. I won’t eat my way into maternity clothes.”
Kinsley giggled and ate the rest of the pad thai herself.
Boon’s hand stole into my lap and nestled against the belly that seemed a little pudgier than usual.
Especially when I tried to button my pants.
I loved it when he touched my belly. Loved that he wanted to be a part of every move this little one made, even if we couldn’t feel it quite yet.
As much as I tried to guard my heart against Boon, the last two weeks had proven that he meant what he said.
He was all in on taking care of me and this baby.
My heart swooned every time he talked about our son, but my brain still kept up a commentary about how this could all be fickle.
Maybe Boon was caught up in the excitement, and once the shininess of a new baby wore off and the real work started, Boon would decide it was too much for him.
Kinsley scrambled to her feet. “Gotta go. Tatum’s supposed to call me.”
Boon grunted. Kinsley stuck out her tongue, then ran out the door to go back to her room next door for a private conversation with her boyfriend. Honestly, she and Tatum were pretty cute together. Boon still didn’t like it, but he was at least giving them a chance.
“God, I thought she’d never leave,” he joked, moving the empty boxes of takeout out of the way and throwing his arm around my shoulder to snuggle me in tightly to his body.
He was joking, of course. He and Kinsley were getting along so much better lately.
They’d had their breakthrough and both of them were putting in the work on their relationship.
It was a privilege to get a front-row seat to seeing Boon blossom as a father.
We were sitting barefoot on the floor, leaning against the couch, but the way that smirk was looking, he had plans for me that involved being more horizontal.
We still hadn’t had sex since he found out about the baby despite the green light from my doctor.
He’d found other ways of pleasuring me, but when I went to reciprocate, he’d pull away and say he just wanted to make it good for me. Frankly, I wanted more.
I shivered, wishing I’d grabbed one of my sweaters before we sat down to eat.
This old house was beautiful, but it was drafty.
This week had been the last streak of cold weather before spring took over and bled right into summer.
I should probably enjoy the last of the cool weather.
I’d be fully pregnant and miserable in the heat soon enough.
Boon immediately jumped to his feet and headed across the room to throw some logs on the fire and light the kindling. “I got you, lovebug.”
I was so busy checking out his ass as he leaned over to get the fire started and wondering how I could convince him that what I really needed was his dick inside me that I missed his question.
“Huh?”
He turned around, catching my gawking. That only made his smirk grow. “My eyes are up here, Shae,” he said in some godawful falsetto voice.
I rolled my eyes and he chuckled, coming to sit back down by my side. “I asked what your parents’ marriage was like. From my kid perspective, they seemed happy. Was that a correct impression?”
The fire snapped and popped as it got going.
I snuggled into his side, stealing his warmth until the fire pumped out heat.
“They were happy. Although I felt some pressure. They spent so many years trying to get pregnant that when I finally arrived, they showered me with attention. I felt like I couldn’t mess up.
I was their one-and-only child, so I had to be perfect for them.
That was on me though. I put that pressure on myself. ”
Boon ran his hands up and down my arms before wrapping me up and putting his leg across mine. He was like a heat rock, a furnace in and of itself.
“And I was the opposite as the baby of the family. I felt like I could screw up all the time and get away with it. Except at the end there. Dad wanted me happy and settled, and I think he knew the life I was living wasn’t my full story.”
I looked at him, taking in his strong jawline and scruffy chin. He was so good-looking. Sometimes I had to pinch myself that he was here with me. I mean, maybe he was only here because of the baby, but he was still here.
“If baseball wasn’t your full story, then what is?” What I was really asking was how long did he plan to be here in Blueball. How long could I conceivably have him here with me and the baby?
He turned toward me then, a soft smile on his lips. He kissed my cheek. “I think it’s exactly this. Finding out what building a family is like. I had a chance with Kinsley, and I didn’t take it. I regret that now, but I’ve been given a second chance.”
My heart held on to that statement and made it something it wasn’t. I told my heart to calm down. He mentioned family, meaning his son. Not me. I was just the vessel.
My eyes burned as I stared at the fire. “I know what you mean. This baby…” My voice broke. “I love him so much already. He’s already changed everything for me.”
Boon’s arms tightened around me yet again. “Tell me about the infertility thing. Tell me about your ex.”
I grimaced. “Miller and I would never have lasted, but if we’d had a child, I would have stayed.
Indefinitely. I wanted a baby so badly. Wanted the life I saw growing up.
I just didn’t understand that I’d chosen the wrong spouse to do all that with.
It started small. He’d criticize my clothing.
Or my body. The dinner I made. Anything really.
Oh, and this one was a favorite of his: how little money I was making teaching back then.
Then when we couldn’t get pregnant, it was all my fault. My deficiency. My body that was wrong.”
“What a fucking asswipe,” Boon grumbled, angry on my behalf. “You know, I was thinking about it quite a bit. I think it was our first time together that I forgot the condom.”
I huffed, laughing over something that was not funny, but kind of was. Figures. One time with Boon, and I got knocked up.
“Super sperm, baby,” he said proudly, grinning like a loon.
“Ah, what a beautiful story to tell our son. How you knocked up his mother after draping her over a washing machine and telling her to do your laundry.”
“And I’ll tell him his mother told me to make her a fucking sandwich after.”
We’re both laughing and it occurred to me that this was nice. Just chatting in front of a fire. Spending time together. No hint of sex, just…friendship. There could be worse things than being friendly with my baby’s father.
“Let’s talk more about my super sperm,” Boon said, like I’d actually sit there and give him a gold star for accidentally impregnating me.
“Maybe we talk about you forgetting the condom,” I interjected dryly. That shut him up. “Or the half-baked marriage proposal.”
He winced. “Yeah, I could have done that better than a sweaty weight room while we were both working.”
“Done it better?” I swiveled in his hold to stare up at the man. “How about not at all?”
He looked down at me, humor written all over his handsome face. “Oh, lovebug. I plan to ask you to marry me again, but it’ll be when you actually believe I can provide the life you said you wanted.”
I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
Boon let me go with one arm and brought that hand to my face, gently pushing hair behind my ear. “You said you’ll only marry for love. Isn’t that right?”
I nodded, flabbergasted. What was he actually saying?
He bent down and kissed me softly on the mouth, his lips barely brushing mine. “You’ll see, lovebug, you’ll see.”
Anger bubbled up in my chest. I wasn’t crazy here. The man didn’t love me. And I didn’t appreciate him insinuating that he did when he was simply confusing excitement over our son with love for me. I shoved out of his arms, turning until I faced him head-on, my arms now folded over my chest.
“You’ve always hated me, Boon.”
“No, I haven’t,” he replied way too quickly to mean it.
“Yes, you did!” I threw my hands in the air, too incensed to stay calm. “You kicked over my tea party, your parents forced you to play volleyball with me, you teased me incessantly. You ruined my prom!”
Boon gaped, now looking as pissed off as I felt. “What? No, I didn’t!”
“How could I possibly believe that you have feelings for me when you’ve spent decades either actively hating me or ignoring me? Don’t confuse loving this baby with loving me .”
Boon’s hands went up in the air like he was trying to stop my words. “First of all, I’m not confused about my feelings for you or the baby. Second, I told you about how I shut down the bullying in high school. Third, I never ruined your prom.”
“Yes, you did! I heard everything you said to my father and I knew it was a lie. Someone had already told me they saw you talking to Jason at school on Friday. You two weren’t even friends.
Did you threaten him? Convince him not to take me after all?
You knew I was excited about going with him and you shut it down. Why? Because you hated me!”
Point proven, I sat back against the couch to catch my breath. Boon just gaped at me, looking like a fish. Okay, a handsome fish, but nonetheless, I’d never seen him so speechless. He finally shook his head like he was trying to clear it.
“That’s what you’ve thought of me this whole time?” he asked quietly.
I threw my hands in the air again. “What else was I supposed to think?”
Boon sighed. He folded his long legs under him and faced me, his hands landing on my feet. His thumbs dug into my arches, and while I wanted to hold on to this anger towards him, his fingers were straight magic. I would not, however, let a moan of pleasure slip through.
“I didn’t want to tell you at the time because I knew it would hurt you.
I overhead Jason telling his math nerd friends that he could get you drunk at the dance.
They were all placing bets on how many bases he could get with you.
I was fuckin’ pissed. I waited ’til he left school and confronted him in the parking lot.
The loser took one punch and cried, agreeing he wouldn’t take you.
That’s all it took to convince him to leave you alone. ”
Now I was the one gaping like a fish. All this time I thought Boon had just been mean-spirited and ruined my date to torment me.
Yet in reality, he’d been trying to spare me from an asshole date who only intended to use me and then spread rumors.
Tears filled my eyes, and Boon looked like I kicked his puppy.
“I’m so sorry, Shae,” he whispered, his hands tightening on my feet.
“Thank you for telling me the truth,” I whispered back, swiping at my eyes furiously. I was not going to waste time crying over some loser from twenty years ago.
Leaning forward, I held my hand out to Boon and he took it, crawling up my body to kiss me.
His lips and tongue obliterated all thoughts of the past. All hurts from men who meant nothing to me now.
And when he pulled me down to the floor and stripped my clothes off, I let him bury his head between my legs and carry me across the finish line.
The whole time I panted and moaned, eyes squeezed shut against the ruthless way in which he tackled everything in life including giving me pleasure, I wondered if everything I thought of him was wrong.
He’d spent his own money to build the gymnasium so I could coach a first-class volleyball team.
He’d already told me it was never hate-fucking for him.
He told me he was going to ask me to marry him again once I believed it could be for love.
Had he always cared for me and I’d been oblivious?
All I knew now was when I cried out his name and shuddered in front of the roaring fire, he wrapped me in his arms and didn’t let go.