Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
B oon
“What. The. Actual. Fuck?” If my fingers gripped my hair any harder, I was going to pull the strands out.
“Okay, calm down,” Mom murmured. I gave her a glare that immediately had her backtracking. “Sorry. You’re right. That’s never a helpful statement when one is panicked.”
She gestured to the couch, but I ignored the invite to instead pace the living room, the same thing I’d been doing since Shae told me we were done.
Through the fucking door. That was the part I was angry about.
When had I ever given her the impression that she couldn’t tell me her deepest and darkest fears straight to my face?
We’d known each other from birth. There was nothing to hide.
I got mad and cursed and generally acted a fool at times, but I’d never be physical with her.
Hell, I hadn’t even raised my voice through the damn door in fear of upsetting her enough to harm the baby.
She was in a delicate condition right now, which meant I needed to tread lightly.
What I wasn’t going to do was give up though.
Mom sank onto the couch and took a deep breath. That wasn’t good. If Mom was thinking before speaking, the news must be terrible.
“What did I do?” I wailed. I’d spent the last three hours wracking my brain, trying to come up with some misstep I’d made. Or something I said? Something I didn’t do? I’d been busting my ass to prove I was the man she needed, but I’d clearly missed something.
“Hey, what’s all the yelling about?” Kinsley stumbled down the stairs, hair a wild mess and a teenage scowl that matched my own.
“Shae’s trying to break up with me,” I said, not bothering to couch the terms or hide this from her. She was eighteen and would have figured it out on her own anyway. Our relationship was finally healing. I wouldn’t lie to her now and jeopardize that.
Kinsley’s eyes went wide, instantly awake and plopping down beside Mom to stare up at me. “What? Why?”
“I don’t know. That’s the problem. She won’t talk to me, so I sent Gigi over there.”
We stared at Mom, who took another deep breath. Jesus, how bad was it??
“She gave me a lame reason and I called bullshit. Then she cried, I hugged her and promised to come back tomorrow to talk it out. These things can’t be rushed.”
My mouth flopped open as I continued to stare at her. That was no fucking help at all. “Wait. What was the bullshit reason?”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Something about raising a baby being hard work and you eventually giving up. You don’t make it into major league baseball being a quitter, so I knew right away that was just an excuse.”
“An excuse for what?” Kinsley asked.
Yeah. Exactly what I was wondering.
“It’s a tale as old as time,” Mom answered mystically.
“I can see how Shae’s the beauty and Dad’s the beast, but I still don’t understand,” Kinsley drawled, instantly getting the reference as she’d grown up a Disney princess fan, hence the Tinkerbell nickname.
I pointed at her. “Yeah, what she said.”
“She’s scared!” Mom exploded. “She said she loves you and then proceeded to tell me why it wouldn’t work out. The girl is running scared from love.”
I froze. “Wait, she said she loved me? Like, those specific words?”
Mom nodded, looking confused. “Yes. Hasn’t she told you that?”
“No!” My hands went back into my hair. “I’ve been giving her space to say it back, but she never said those words.”
“Oh.” Mom deflated. “Well, I’m sorry you heard them for the first time in a game of telephone.”
“Tatum told me he loved me last night.” Kinsley just casually dropped a bomb in the middle of an already tense conversation.
“What?” Fuck, my scalp was killing me. I forced my fingers to let go of the strands and folded my arms across my chest. There. At least I wouldn’t go bald by the end of this conversation.
Kinsley was grinning like a lovesick fool and Mom had her arms around her already. “And I love him too!”
I was going to be sick.
The two women squealed and rocked back and forth like this was the best news ever. While I liked seeing Kinsley happy, I didn’t particularly like her being this wrapped up in a boy at eighteen years of age. She had a lot of living to do before tying herself down to one guy.
“Um, hello? Can we table this for just a minute?”
They broke apart and looked up at me, identical frowns with one eyebrow slightly raised in annoyance. Huh. I’d never really thought about how much of Mom’s genes were in Kinsley, but it was glaringly obvious right now.
“I’m…happy…for you, Tink, but I really need to see if Shae said anything else. I’m about to go back over there and kick the door down.”
Kinsley instantly shook her head. “Nope. Do not do that. Total alpha dick move.”
“But she’s not talking to me! What else am I supposed to do?” I felt like I was starting to hyperventilate. The room was going fuzzy.
I’d lost games before, even championships with millions of people watching live, but I’d never felt the level of complete panic that I felt right now at potentially losing Shae.
I never even thought this was a possibility.
I figured I could love her enough for both of us. I could convince her eventually.
Oh, how fucking wrong I was.
Kinsley was by my side, her hand rubbing up and down my back. “Breathe, bro. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out together.”
I looked down at my teenager, offering me sincere help in my time of need when I’d left her on her own for years. Letting my arms go, I used them to crush her to me.
“I love you, kiddo.” My voice was gruff, and I was probably suffocating her, but she slid her arms around my waist and hugged me back.
“You know, Shae did mention she overheard Cassie. Did she say something last night that could have triggered this?”
Kinsley and I both froze, lifting our heads to look at Mom and then back at each other.
“That’s it!” Kinsley said, face lighting up.
I thought back over the accusation Cassie made about Shae being a cleat chaser and my chin dropped to my chest. Fuck.
That had to be it. I didn’t know if Shae heard what I said in response, but clearly she’d taken it wrong and stewed on it all night, coming to the conclusion that I’m just some dumb jock who couldn’t possibly have fallen in love with my baby mama.
Kinsley explained to Mom what her own mother had said while my brain spun.
How could I get it through Shae’s thick skull that I was head over heels in love with her?
The baby was a surprise, but a good one.
One I now considered my second chance in life.
A way to have the family that I wanted. With Shae.
None of this worked without Shae. She wasn’t just the carrier of my son.
She was the centerpiece of all of my dreams.
“I have an idea.” Kinsley ran upstairs, shouting over her shoulder. “You guys carry on. I have to go get Tatum!”
I rolled my eyes. Of course she was going to Tatum’s. She’d probably be at his place all summer. Mom stared at me from the couch.
“What do you want to do?”
I slid my phone out of my back pocket and did what I should have done three hours ago. I called Lydia.
“How’s the doghouse, bat boy?” she answered by way of greeting.
“Fucking lonely,” I groused, back to pacing the living room. “Listen, I don’t know how much of the conversation Shae heard last night, but I defended her. I love Shae. I want to marry her as soon as she’ll let me. Tell me what I need to do.”
“Dude, you gotta figure that out for yourself. It’s got to come from the heart. Your heart. The HAGS are on their way to Shae’s right now to talk some sense into her. Maybe come by after we leave?”
“Will do. Thank you.” I hung up, not feeling much better. Shae’s friends might pave the way, but it was up to me to get Shae to trust me.
I watched her friends’ cars arrive from my seat at the kitchen table.
I stayed there, watching Shae’s house like a hawk.
Mom slid food in front of me, and while I picked at it to keep her happy, I was solely focused on Shae and what I could possibly say to get her to trust in us.
I’d worked up a little speech in my head that sounded pretty good.
The second her friends’ cars pulled away a few hours later, I was out of my chair, grabbing my supplies and heading over to her house. This time, I’d planned for failure.
I banged on the door and prayed she’d answer. When the door didn’t swing open for several minutes, I knocked again. “Shae, it’s me. Please let me talk to you. Face to face.”
A desperate man, I leaned my ear against her door. I could swear she was just on the other side. I could feel her proximity. I pulled the small box out of my pocket. The box I’d had in my room for months now, staring at it every day and wondering when I’d be able to give it to the woman I loved.
“I don’t know if you’re listening but one thing I’ve learned as an athlete is you always have to shoot your shot or it’s a definite loss.
I will never stop shooting my shot with you, Shae.
I love you. Not for right now or just because of the baby.
I love you forever. That’s why I bought an engagement ring months ago.
I’ve been waiting for the right time to formally ask you since I botched the first time so badly.
Through a thick door was not what I had in mind, but I need you to know that I want you.
I need you. I want to make a life with you.
I want to be the partner you want and need too. Just give me a chance, baby.”
There was silence. So long I wondered if I was making a fool out of myself talking to a fucking door. Then I heard a sniffle.
I backed up, grabbing the roll of duct tape I’d brought with me. I ripped off two pieces with my teeth, planting the ring box on her front door and securing it with an X of duct tape.
“I’m leaving my proof right here. You let me know when you’re ready to open that door, and I’ll get down on one knee and slide it on to your finger.” I leaned in, my voice dropping. “Please, Shae. Take a chance on me. Let me love you.”
When the door still didn’t open, I forced my legs to walk away.
Forced myself to go back home, climb the stairs, and head to bed.
Exhaustion got the better of me and I fell into a fitful sleep, not hearing the gathering of Mom, Kinsley, Tatum, my brothers, and their wives having a family emergency meeting all about me and Shae in the living room.
Plans were being made and I wasn’t privy to them.