15. Amelia
Chapter 15
Amelia
W hen Matteo left the dining room, I glared at my mother but she was too drunk to notice. She normally didn’t drink this much and I assumed she only did it to make talking to Matteo easier. Somewhere deep inside her, she recognized the absurdity of what she was suggesting, and she needed the alcohol to help her do it anyway.
I couldn’t believe she told Matteo that he was the ideal man she would want for me. That must have been so hurtful for Matteo to hear. Just a few years ago, my mother thought he wasn’t good enough and now he was the ideal man.
The only thing that had changed was his social and financial status. My mother thought he was worthy of me because he had money now and that was so wrong. I didn’t even want to imagine what Matteo thought of her or worse, what he thought of me.
Maybe he thought I was only getting close to him because he had money. I felt incredibly embarrassed by the possibility of him seeing me that way. Unlike my parents, I didn’t care about money when it came to marriage. I cared about love.
“Amelia… help… your mother… to bed.”
My mother’s words were slurred because she was drunk. I shook my head as I stood up and walked over to her. I helped her get in bed before returning to my room. There I found my phone which I had tossed on the bed in my excitement to share the good news.
At that moment, I realized that I still hadn’t responded to the email. I quickly composed an acceptance message and sent it. From the details of the job offer, I was to start tomorrow. I had no problem starting as soon as possible. My only issue was my mother. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her at Matteo’s home while I went out to work.
I worried about what she would do in my absence. I worried about the things she would tell Matteo and the ways in which she would try to micromanage my life.
Despite my worries, I knew I couldn’t refuse the request from Phoenix Consulting. If they needed me to start tomorrow, then that was what I would do.
The next day, I got ready to go to work. Thankfully, my mother was still sleeping when I left. I stopped by her room to check on her before heading to the elevator. I was walking through the parking lot when I saw Matteo.
I was surprised to see him because I thought he’d already gone to work. Agnes told me he had taken his morning coffee a few minutes ago so I assumed he would be on the road, on his way to work. For a moment, I simply stood there and stared at him, stared at the man who had always had my heart even when we were apart.
Matteo was leaning against his car but he pushed himself off it when I approached. His features were cold. His jaw was set tightly, and his lips were pressed into a thin line. He almost looked like someone being forced to do something.
Without saying a word, he pulled the door open and gestured for me to get in. I did. I sat inside as Matteo walked around the car and got in beside me. Eddie pulled out of the parking lot, onto the main road, and then drove off.
I immediately realized that Matteo had been waiting for me. He knew today was my first day of work and he wanted to give me a ride there. He must have been waiting for several minutes but he didn’t complain.
I wondered why he would go to the trouble for me, and I felt touched by his consideration. He went out of his way to do something kind for me even when he didn’t have to. I was grateful to him for that. It was difficult not to love Matteo when he did things like that. I’d been fighting my feelings for him but every time he showed me that he cared, I felt myself losing the fight. His kindness made it difficult to keep my feelings towards him neutral.
I was in my second month with Matteo. And in those two months, my feelings for him had changed a lot. There were days when I felt so angry that I thought I hated him but even then, I knew that there was love hidden beneath the anger.
In less than ten weeks, I would be leaving to start on my own. The thought filled me with both dread and excitement. On one hand, I couldn’t wait to be fully independent, to have my own place, and live off my own salary. On the other hand, I was terrified of failing, terrified of placing all my eggs in one basket because what if things didn’t go well? It was a scary possibility, but I reminded myself that there was also the possibility that I would do great.
At the end of the day, things could go either way so I knew I had to choose to believe they would end well for me.
The other thing that scared me was leaving Matteo. I wondered how our relationship would change during the remaining two months of my stay. I wondered if we would remain distant up until the moment I left. I imagined us never speaking again after I left his penthouse and the thought terrified me.
I realized that I wanted Matteo in my life even if it wasn’t as my partner. I just didn’t want us to be distant. I didn’t want him to look at me with indifference forever. I wasn’t sure I could handle that. I knew there was a good chance we would never get back what we had but I wanted us to remain in each other’s lives.
Unfortunately, I knew that even that might be too much for Matteo to offer me. There was a chance that he wanted nothing to do with me and if that was the case, I would have to live with it. No matter how much it hurts.
Matteo and I sat in silence as Eddie drove down the street. When we got to Phoenix Consulting, I turned to him and said, “Thank you so much.” I also thanked Eddie before I got out of the car.
My kitten heels hit the pavement, the sounds they made was overshadowed by the sound of Matteo’s car zooming off. I heard it but I didn't turn around.
Being at work helped me to stop thinking about Matteo. It was my first day and things turned out to be a bit hectic. The company was expecting a big client which meant my superiors didn’t really have time to put me through everything. In the end, I got a brief introduction and a vague list of my responsibilities.
I knew I couldn’t blame them. From what I heard, the client we were expecting had been on Nico’s wish list for over a year. Now that they were finally coming, he needed everything to be perfect.
I did my best to help in the ways I could. It felt stressful but it was also fulfilling. I spent the entire day working on all the assignments that had been handed to me. It was the first real challenge I’d ever faced. And although there were moments when working gave me a headache, I just simply loved having my independence.
I loved knowing that my work meant something. After hours at the office, I finally returned home. I paused in the parking lot of the apartment building. There I stood in front of the elevator, unwilling to press the buttons that would make the doors slide open. At the beginning of the day, I’d been scared to leave my mother alone but now I was scared to be in her presence.
I wasn’t ready to hear her comments about my decision to work. I wasn’t ready to have her criticize me or tell me that I was wasting my time. I had no desire to hear any of it. I considered leaving but I couldn’t imagine leaving Matteo to deal with my mother alone.
“Have you forgotten how to use it?” a familiar deep voice asked from behind me.
I instantly knew it was Matteo. I turned to him and I saw a small, amused smile on his lips. My eyes scanned his disheveled hair, evidence that he’d run his hand through it one too many times. He held his suit jacket over his shoulder with one hand while the other hand was shoved into his pants pocket. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up so they exposed his toned forearms.
I caught myself staring so I lifted my gaze back to his face. Matteo’s amused smile had grown into a wide grin. He lifted a brow like he was waiting for an answer to his question, and I felt my skin heat up with embarrassment.
I turned back to the elevator and hit the buttons harder than I should have. “Of course not.”
We shared the elevator up to the penthouse. When we got inside, we went our separate ways. Matteo headed to his room, and I headed to mine. I was surprised to find my mother waiting for me.
“Where did you go all day?” she asked.
“To work.”
“Work?” The way her face contorted in disgust you would think I told her something truly awful.
“Yes, mother. Work. I went to work,” I said as I placed my bag on my bed. I sat down and tugged off my heels before walking into the closet to place them on the shelf.
I was surprised my mother hadn’t said anything else about the work situation. I expected her to complain more but she seemed strangely calm. It made me uncomfortable. When I walked back into the bedroom, I saw her smiling at me which made me even more uncomfortable.
“I see now why you haven’t returned to California. What you have here is much better than what you had over there,” she said.
“What are you talking about?”
“What else? I’m talking about Matteo. That man is a far better catch than Lucas. Lucas has generational wealth but with how reckless that young man is, I wouldn’t be surprised if he runs his family’s company into the ground. Matteo is much better. He is a real man. He worked hard and he built his company by himself. That is the kind of man you need in your life, my dear.”
I was tempted to scream at my mother and tell her the truth. I felt the words bubble up within me and threaten to pour over like a wave that had been held back for too long. I wanted her to know that the man she was praising was the same man she once rejected. I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn’t. Soon she would realize that the man she was trying to make me date was the same man she’d forced me to break up with five years ago.
I had no idea how my mother would react when she found out. Would she stand by the statements she made back then or would she continue to believe that this version of Matteo was worthy of being my husband?
It was all so confusing. I hated the amount of uncertainty that surrounded my relationship with Matteo. It made me feel like I was floating in the air and I never knew when I would touch the ground again. We still hadn’t spoken about the two kisses we shared and now that my mother was around, we probably wouldn’t.
It was starting to feel like the kiss had never happened. Maybe I’d imagined the whole thing. I considered that but I knew it couldn’t be true. How could it be true when I could still feel the press of his lips and the urgency of his kisses?
I could visualize the desire in his eyes and feel the passion in the way he held me to him. These feelings were too real for it to have been a dream. Matteo and I kissed but it seemed like that was the only thing that would ever happen between us.
I almost wished I could speak to him about what happened between us. I had to know if he still thought about the kiss the way I did or if he had already forgotten about it. Talking to Matteo proved difficult lately because my mother was always hovering around us.
Matteo and I were sitting in the kitchen, drinking our morning coffee and getting ready for work. It felt good to have this kind of routine with him. It made me feel like I was part of his life. Every morning, we would sit here and drink coffee together.
We hardly ever spoke but it was enough for me to just be in his presence. I also loved going to work. I loved waking up every day and knowing I had somewhere to be.
I lifted my cup to my lips and glanced at Matteo as discreetly as I could. He was frowning at something on his phone. The skin on his forehead bunched up and he furrowed his brows. I could tell from the tight way he gripped his phone that he was looking at bad news.
I’d planned to talk to him about the kiss this morning but seeing him so upset made me want to change my mind. The last thing I wanted was to discuss things when he was in a bad mood. Still, I couldn’t help noticing that this was the perfect opportunity. My mother was still asleep so she couldn’t take over the conversation like she usually did.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
Matteo gave me a confused look and I gestured to his phone. His features relaxed as he answered. “Nothing major. Just a bit of a nuisance at work.”
“Oh.”
We lapsed into silence again. I was scared but I knew I had to talk to him about it. I searched for the right words but I could barely string my sentences together. I stared at the counter as if the words I wanted to say were written there like a script for a movie.
“The other day… b-before my mom came in, we… ”
“Kissed.” Matteo supplied the rest of my sentence after my voice trailed off.
I lifted my head and I met his gaze. Our eyes held. Silence fell again but this time it was filled with our rapid breathing. The kitchen clock ticked in the distance, its sound receding until I couldn’t hear it anymore. All I could hear was the sound of my own heart, beating at a frantic pace.
“I’ve been thinking—”
My sentence was cut short when my mother walked into the room. She looked like a character out of a movie with her long white button-up gown, large beach hat, and wide-rimmed sunglasses. For someone who likely just woke up, she looked well put together. My mother prided herself on her ability to look expensive at all times. Even indoors and hungover, she dressed like she was on a runway.
Her five-inch stiletto heels hit the kitchen tiles, creating an almost melodic beat. Graceful as always, except when she’s had a few glasses of wine, my mother traipsed in and took the seat beside me.
“Thinking about what dear?” she asked me.
“Oh… um… nothing. Just work stuff.”
Even with most of her face covered by the glasses she wore, I could still see the grimace she offered me. “Work. I still don’t understand why you insist on that.”
“I like it. I like working,” I said.
“If you insist.” With that, she dismissed me. My mother turned her attention to Matteo. Her red lips opened up to expose sparkling white teeth. “You’re off to work?”
“Yes, I am.” Matteo’s answer was courteous but I could hear the hint of annoyance in his tone. It was difficult for him to pretend like she wasn’t the same person who insulted him years ago.
He moved to leave but my mother spoke again before he could. “I have some pretty bad news.”
“Is Dad okay?” I asked my heart already in my throat.
“Joseph is fine. I wanted to tell you two that I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
My mother said it like it was somber news but the truth was, it took everything in me not to leap for joy.