Chapter 7
ADRIANNE
Ididn’t feel guilty.
Not even a little bit.
The thought should have bothered me more than it did, but as I sat in the back of this speeding car, watching Nikolai’s blood seep through his shirt, his rage filling every inch of air between us, guilt was the last thing on my mind.
I’d sent that text to survive. That’s what people do when they’re kidnapped by monsters. They fight back with whatever weapons they can find.
If his friend got hurt because of my text, that was on him for taking me in the first place.
The safe house turned out to be a run-down warehouse in what looked like an industrial area. It was eerie and dark, the perfect setup to hide a crew of criminals in need of laying low.
The man driving barely had the car in park before Nikolai was out and running toward the building. He didn’t look at me as he got out of the car, didn’t acknowledge my existence at all. Like I was cargo to be moved around and forgotten.
Which, I supposed, was exactly what I was.
I scrambled after him, not wanting to be left alone with someone I didn’t know, and found myself following him through a maze of corridors to what looked like an old kitchen.
As soon as I crossed the threshold, the smell of disinfectant hit me like a ton of bricks.
Sasha was laid out on the kitchen counter like a broken doll, her blue hair matted with blood, her face pale, as if not a single ounce of blood was left to color her cheeks.
Someone had cut away part of her leather pants, revealing a gunshot wound in her thigh that was still bleeding despite the mountain of bandages that tried to stop it.
One other man tried to tighten a belt around her leg in an attempt to suppress the blood flow to the area so that they could work on stitching her up.
Nikolai went straight to her, pushing past the men who were trying to work on her wound.
“Move,” he ordered, his voice rough with panic. “Let me see her.”
He leaned over the counter, one hand immediately going to stroke her hair back from her face while the other found hers, threading their fingers together.
“Sasha,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly. “Can you hear me? You’re going to be fine, okay? Just stay with me.”
I’d known the man for only a couple of hours, and yet this display of affection seemed so out of character for what he’d shown me to be up until now.
The cold, controlled killer was gone, replaced by someone who looked absolutely devastated.
His whole world seemed to center around the woman lying unconscious on that counter.
He pressed his lips to her forehead, gently murmuring against her skin. “You’re too stubborn to die from this, do you hear me? Too fucking stubborn to leave me.”
Something twisted sharply in my chest watching him. This tenderness, this obvious love and panic, it was like seeing a completely different person. Someone capable of gentleness. Someone who could break apart with worry.
My breaths came quicker now as I watched him coach her back to him, like a lover losing his other half.
The realization hit me right in the chest, and I hated myself for the jealousy that clawed at my throat. What was wrong with me? I didn’t want Nikolai to care about me. I was his prisoner, for God’s sake.
But watching him stroke Sasha’s hair with infinite care, seeing the way his voice turned soft and broken when he spoke to her… something in my chest ached with want.
Stupid little girl.
“Is she going to be okay?” I found myself asking, my voice small.
Every head in the room turned to look at me, including Nikolai’s. The gentle expression vanished from his face like I’d flipped a switch, replaced by that familiar cold mask. And anger. So much anger.
“Get her out of here,” he growled, never taking his eyes off me. “I don’t want her anywhere near here.”
The dismissal felt like a slap after the whirlwind of emotions running through me.
“Kirill,” Nikolai called without looking away from me. “Take her upstairs. Lock the door.”
“I can walk myself–” I started.
“Now,” Nikolai cut me off, his voice as cold as a glacier.
Kirill stepped forward, but I was already moving toward the stairs, my cheeks burning with humiliation. As I reached the doorway, I heard Nikolai’s voice again, soft and worried as he turned back to Sasha.
“It’s okay. I’m here. You’re going to be fine.”
The contrast between how he spoke to her and how he spoke to me was like a knife twisting in my chest. I was indeed a package to him, and nothing more.
Kirill led me to a small room, shoved me inside, locking the door behind me just as he’d been ordered. They’d converted the warehouse into a place where they could actually live if push came to shove. Kitchen, bedrooms… Strategic placing.
It was small, but clean. The double bed took up most of the space, while what really caught my eye was the tiny bathroom with a shower that looked like it actually worked. I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to process what had just happened.
Jimmy was dead.
The thought hit me with its full magnitude now.
Jimmy, who’d brought me hangover food and worried about my safety.
Who helped me settle into the apartment my brothers found for me as the beginning of a new life.
Jimmy, who’d tracked that man’s phone with just a text to go by, assembled a team and started a war to save me from the claws of the bad guys.
And now, Nikolai had put three bullets in his chest. He was dead because of me.
My hands started shaking, and I pressed them against my knees to make them stop. I wouldn’t cry. Not now. I couldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing me broken.
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door, and I hadn’t realized I was still sitting in the exact same position since I’d arrived.
“Devochka?” Girl. Adrik’s voice broke through as he gently cracked the door open just an inch.
I stood and opened the door to find him looking exhausted, worry lines etched deep around his eyes.
“How is she?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“She’ll live. The bullet went through clean and luckily missed the artery.” Relief was evident in his voice. “She’s unconscious but stable. My sister is strong. She’ll pull through.”
His sister.
“And Nikolai?”
“He won’t leave her side until she wakes up.” He stepped into the room, taking in my appearance. “You need new clothes. I don’t think that dress is going to make it.”
I looked down at the torn, bloodstained silk. “Yeah, I don’t think so, either.” I smiled back at him with a shrug.
“There’s a suitcase in the closet. Take whatever you need. Shower, change. You look like you’ve been through hell.”
“I have been through hell.”
“Da. But you’re still here. That counts for something.”
Did it?
“So you don’t blame me?” I asked, my voice small while my thumb bore into the palm of my other hand.
“We all do what we need to do to assure we survive, right? Besides, what does it matter if I blame you? You shouldn’t be worried about what the men who kidnapped you think about you.”
Bingo. Adrik was a smart man, indeed.
“I know. Maybe that’s because I don’t blame you, either.”
Adrik smiled as he started for the door, “Get some rest.”
After he left, I found the suitcase tucked behind some boxes. Men’s clothes, of course. They were big, and it didn’t matter which item I chose; it was clear that whatever I put on would practically swallow me whole.
The shower was everything I’d dreamed of for the past few days. Hot water that actually stayed hot, soap that didn’t smell like industrial chemicals or decaying metal, the chance to wash away the blood and grime, and terror, while I was at it.
I scrubbed until my skin was raw, trying to wash away the feeling of that man’s hands on my skin as he touched me and groped me so hard I could already see bruises breaking out on my arms. But despite the trauma of that moment, it was the memory of gunfire and Jimmy’s shocked expression as he fell that plagued my mind.
The image of Nikolai’s hands, gentle in Sasha’s hair, was a close second.
When I finally got out, I felt almost human again.
The black t-shirt was definitely too big, falling to mid-thigh like a short dress. It smelled faintly like cigarettes and expensive cologne. The soft cotton on my skin felt divine after wearing that dirty dress for way too long.
I was trying to tame my wet hair when the door burst open without warning.
Nikolai stormed in, Adrik close behind him, as if trying to avoid the murder that was about to happen if he wasn’t here to ref this encounter.
There was blood still seeping through his shirt sleeve. He was so worried about tending to Sasha’s wound that he hadn’t treated his own. It was still bleeding, staining the white fabric with a vivid red over the dried blood from earlier.
As soon as his eyes landed on me, he stopped, that pale gaze dropping to my thighs before climbing back to my face. The dire expression that he wore made me shiver, my arms crossing in front of my chest protectively.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Nikolai’s voice was deadly quiet, his eyes resuming to travel over me like I’d committed some unforgivable sin.
I clutched the towel tighter between my hands, suddenly very aware of how little I had on underneath the shirt. “Adrik said I could take something from his suitcase. My dress was completely ruined.”
“That’s not his shirt.”
The temperature in the room seemed to drop ten degrees.
Nikolai took a step closer to me. Then another. Until he was standing so close I could feel the heat radiating from his body, while the muscles in his jaw clenched at a rhythm.
“Take it off,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes now shut.
“What?”
“ADRIK!” The word exploded from him like a gunshot as he spun his head towards his friend who stood by the door. “GET OUT. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS ROOM.”
“Nikolai. I don’t think you should be alo–” Adrik started.
“NOW!”
“Think about what you’re about to do,” He whispered before leaving, pulling that last string and hoping his words would bring some sense into whatever Nikolai had in mind.
The door slammed shut, leaving me alone with a man who looked like he was barely holding onto his sanity.
“Take the shirt off,” he repeated, stepping even closer. “Take the fucking shirt off. Now.”
“I’m not wearing anything underneath.”
“I don’t give a shit. Don’t make me rip it off you myself.”
My hands were shaking as I pulled the shirt over my head, leaving me in nothing but my panties. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to cover myself, but his eyes weren’t on my body.
They were dead set on the shirt in my hands, like it was the dirtiest thing he’d ever seen in his life.
He snatched it from me and stalked into the bathroom. I heard the bathtub curtain being yanked off the rail, then the sharp scratch of a lighter.
“What are you doing?” I followed him to the doorway, still trying to cover my naked chest.
He’d thrown the shirt in the bathtub and set it on fire. The black cotton curled and blackened as flames consumed it, filling the small bathroom with acrid smoke.
“Are you insane? Why are you burning it?”
He stood there watching the flames and inhaling the smoke like it could cleanse that dark soul of his, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.
“I cannot have your scent on my clothes,” he said finally, his voice rough and broken, before turning towards me. “I will not have you on my skin.”
The words cut deep, speaking to that unworthiness I had etched into my being since forever. Like my touch was something contaminated and wrong.
“You’re completely insane,” I whispered.
“Da.” He didn’t look away from me, his nose flaring while his eyes stared into mine, wild and completely unstable. “Completely fucking insane.”
“And a monster. You killed him without a second thought.”
“And whose fault is that, hmm? Pray to whatever fucking God you’re devoted to that Sasha makes it, or you’ll be following your weak little boyfriend to hell.”
“Why don’t you do it right now?” I put my hands down, baring my chest so he can pump it full of bullets just as he’d done to Jimmy. “At least you wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore, like it physically pains you.”
Nikolai went completely still. Then his eyes went darker than I’d ever seen them, and before I could react, his hand was around my throat.
He didn’t squeeze hard enough to cut off my air, but his hold was firm enough to make his point.
His face was inches from mine, those pale blue eyes boring into me with an intensity that made my knees weak with fear.
“Because patience is a virtue, little moth. You’ll get your wish tomorrow when I hand you over to my father.”
“At least I’ll be away from you. I hate you.”
“It seems to be my lucky fucking day!”
I gasped for air as his words settled in my chest. “Is he… is he going to hurt me?”
Slowly, the rage in his expression started to give way to something else, before his grip around my neck loosened and he pushed me onto the mattress.
For the first time, his eyes dipped towards my chest, taking in every inch of my skin, every curve of my breasts, while his lip curled in disgust.
“Adrik will bring you proper clothes. Don’t touch my shit again.”
I pulled on the covers, wrapping myself in them as best I could.
“I wouldn’t have dared if I knew it was yours.”
“Then we have an understanding. Tomorrow we leave for D.C., and this will all be over.”
“Good,” I shot back, even though something in my chest was breaking. “I can’t wait to get away from you.”
He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes traveling over my face like he was memorizing it.
“Neither can I.”