Chapter 13 #2
Opening every cupboard, every drawer, every closet, I finally found something that could help me in more ways than one.
In one of the closets, there was a huge set up of guns and other weapons suitable enough to start a war.
Right beneath the arsenal was a fully stocked medical cabinet.
Alcohol, cotton swabs, antiseptics, antibiotics, insulin, needles, and even IV fluids.
I knew most of these things and had used them one time or another when my mother was sick.
Despite the impressive stock, there was no anesthetic at all.
Not injectable or even a damn little spray that would numb his pain while I took the bullet out.
He would just have to suffer through it.
My stomach churned as I thought about it. Hopefully that mountain of a man had a high pain tolerance, or things were about to get gritty.
I wasn’t a doctor or even a nurse, but I’d learned more than my fair share about treating people from extensive observation throughout the years. So when the time came to do it myself, even though my nervous system was always in a frenzy, I was more than capable.
I bundled up everything I needed to clean Nikolai’s wound, extract the bullet fragment, and stitch him back up before shutting the closet door. I hesitated for a second, glancing over the guns.
Think with your brain, Adrianne.
I took one of the smaller handguns and shoved it into my jacket pocket, just in case I came to need it, and finally closed the door to head back to where Nikolai was lying on the floor.
Replaying the steps in my head, I took my jacket off and got everything I needed ready and placed it within reach. The only thing missing was a knife to break his skin, but I was almost sure a man like Nikolai carried one without a doubt.
I searched him desperately until I found an army knife strapped to his boot.
Heating it in the fire, I poured a bunch of alcohol over it just to be on the safe side, letting it cool down while I pressed a rag between his teeth, preparing him for the barbarity I was about to do.
My hands shook so badly I nearly dropped the blade.
“Please don’t kill me for this,” I whispered before pressing the knife to his skin and cutting.
Blood welled instantly. Nikolai jerked forward, muffled groans escaping around the rag as his face turned red.
With the tip of the knife, I dug deeper, my stomach twisting as I fought to find the damn thing.
Finally, the fragment scraped free. I tossed it aside, cleaning the wound before stitching him up in cold blood.
I placed clean gauze over it and cut a couple of long strips of fabric from my undershirt to keep it in place.
When it was done, I struggled to drag him closer to the fire, covering him with every piece of fabric I could find before sitting beside him and cradling his head in my lap. His skin burned, like he was lying in the seventh circle of hell.
My mind was in a frenzy. Going over everything that happened in such a short amount of time. It was like it had taken me twenty-six years to finally start living, and in a couple of days, I was all caught up. How I wasn’t crumbling from the pressure of it all was a damn mystery.
“Addy,” he rasped, pulling me from those thoughts and catching me off guard.
The way he said my name nearly undid me. His hand shot out blindly, gripping my waist with desperate strength, burying his face against my legs. “Don’t leave.”
“I’m here,” I whispered, stroking his damp hair. “I’m not leaving you.”
His grip tightened, possessive even in delirium. “Mine. Not his. Never his.”
My pulse stumbled. His fever blurred the line between past and present, sense and madness, but the way he clung to me felt terrifyingly real.
“Who?” I asked softly.
“Anyone. All of them,” He breathed, his voice hoarse. “Mine to save. Mine to break.”
Heat flooded my cheeks, despite the cold cabin. Did he even know what he was saying? Maybe he was thinking about someone else.
“Stay with me, Babochka,” He begged, his voice breaking as he called me something I still didn’t know the meaning of. “Don’t leave me like everyone else. Don’t leave me alone.”
The vulnerability in his tone cracked something inside me. Against every instinct screaming otherwise, I held him tighter, his fevered head now cradled against my chest.
“I’m right here, I promise.”
Even half-conscious, delirious, and drowning in his own demons, Nikolai’s grip on me didn’t loosen. Not until exhaustion dragged him under.
And even then, he didn’t let go. I wondered if he feared losing me or losing his leverage in this war of his.
For today? I chose to think that, for once, I actually mattered.
I must have drifted off by the fire because, when I opened my eyes again, the whole cabin felt different. The flames burned low, but the place was so much warmer now. I was a lot warmer now, and strangely, it had nothing to do with the fire.
Nikolai’s hand was splayed across my stomach, his fingers spread wide under my shirt, against my bare skin. His full length was pressed against my back, his injured arm draped over me like it belonged there. I could feel every hard plane of his chest, every slow and steady breath he took.
My captor was spooning me!
In my shock, I tried to shift away, but there was no budging from my spot because Nikolai’s arm tightened around me, pulling me closer against him.
“Stay,” He murmured, his voice rough with sleep, and probably the fever, too. A low rumble vibrated through his chest as he buried his nose in my hair, breathing me in like I was the oxygen he needed.
Goosebumps covered my skin at the gesture, making my stomach flutter unrelentingly.
I moved again, trying to put some space between us, because this was wrong on so many levels, but I was no match for Nikolai’s strength. This time, he hugged me tighter against him, my whole back pressed against his front, and Jesus, was I not ready for what followed.
An unmistakable hardness pressed against my ass, hot and searing. My breath hitched as he shifted, grinding his erection against me with a groan that sent a strange heat shooting straight to my core.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Every rational thought in my head screamed at me to pull away, to wake him up, to stop this before it went any further. He was barely conscious, delirious with fever. He probably even thought I was someone else.
I might shatter if he were to groan Sasha’s name while having his hand on my skin and inhaling my scent, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even breathe.
I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to take action and pull his hand away from me. But the more his fingers drifted lower, his palm sliding across my stomach agonizingly slow, the more I craved for him to continue.
“Relax, Baby,” He whispered against my ear, his breath so hot on my skin that it burned. “Let me take care of you now.”
Before I could process his words, his hand plunged into my pants, cupping my pussy with a possessiveness that made me gasp. I’d never been touched like this before. Never felt anything like the electric jolt that shot through me at his touch.
“That’s it,” He coached, his voice a low rumble as his fingers began to move over my underwear.
This was wrong.
So fucking wrong.
But I couldn’t seem to stop him. I couldn’t seem to find my voice or strength as he stroked and caressed, building something inside me I’d never felt in my life.
Without a warning, Nikolai pushed my underwear aside, and I could swear his fingers had a damn magnet to the exact spot that made me see stars.
His erection pressed harder against me as I whimpered, my body betraying everything my mind knew was right.
Jesus, this is so fucked up!
“Perfect,” He breathed, his fingers working a magic I didn’t understand. “So perfect for me.”
The weight in those words, as if I belonged to him, added to my growing pleasure. The way his fingers worked was pure torture, and all notions of right and wrong flew out the damn window.
“Oh, God,” I choked out, trying to muffle my voice as best I could, but he was drawing this primal need out of me that made it hard to stop the sounds from leaving my mouth.
“Open up for me.” His voice was so sultry, my body obeyed without question, and before I knew it, Nikolai plunged a finger into me.
I bit down on my lip, forcing myself to stay quiet. Jesus, was I really allowing a practically unconscious man to finger me? The same man who kidnapped me and brought me to Russia against my will?
Yes. Yes, I was.
“Is this what you needed?” He asked, and I couldn’t find a suitable answer. Luckily, I didn’t need one. “It is. I know it is. So wet for me.” And with that, he plunged a second digit, stretching me while rubbing the heel of his palm into my clit and almost sending me to heaven.
The pressure built and built with Nikolai’s unrelenting assault, until I was ready to shatter, trembling in his arms, and biting my lip to keep from crying out.
Everything exploded at once, pleasure crashing over me in waves that left me gasping, shaking, and riding his hand as I chased after my first orgasm.
Nikolai hadn’t even pulled his fingers out of me before reality hit me just as hard as the blizzard that raged outside.
Guilt filled my lungs while despair took over me for doing something so vile, so fucking messed up. I jerked away from him, scrambling to put distance between us as horror filled my pores. Nikolai’s eyes snapped open, confusion knitting his brows together.
“Adrianne?” His voice was hoarse and uncertain. “What–”
I wasn’t ready to face the consequences of what just happened, so I didn’t stay to hear what he was about to say. I grabbed my jacket and fled toward the door, my face burning with shame and something else I didn’t want to name.