Chapter 15
ADRIANNE
It was like that phone call tied a noose and strangled the spell out of the moment we had just shared.
The vulnerability was gone.
The honesty back to being armored for protection.
The only thing that remained was the ghost of an emotion that quickly had me feeling stupid for being so starkly honest, against my better judgment.
What the hell was I expecting to happen? That we’d kiss like in the fairy tales, drive off into the sunset, and live happily ever after?
The man kidnapped you, for God’s sake!
Picking up one of the blankets I’d covered Nikolai with, I draped it over my shoulders, trying to shield my nakedness from him, though he wasn’t even looking.
It was shame and embarrassment for having such idiotic thoughts that I was desperate to cover.
But there were no blankets on earth that could help me with that.
Nikolai slammed the phone onto the table, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I realized I’d been zoned out through the whole conversation. But something seemed off.
He was eerily still. With his back towards me, not moving a single muscle, I watched his tall frame move with each breath he took to steady himself. “They’re not coming?”
Nikolai’s sharp inhale was the loudest thing I’d ever heard before he finally turned around to face me. I couldn’t read his expression, yet it was clear that something was very wrong.
“They are. Adrik’s coming.” His voice had changed again, into that cold and tactical tone he used when he was all business and no heart. “When it’s safe.”
What the hell was wrong with him? If Adrik was coming to rescue us, that was good news, right?
Without meeting my gaze, Nikolai turned towards the closet where I’d found the medical supplies and the guns. Pulling it open, he reached overhead and yanked on a bag, catching it with ease.
“Put this on.” He tossed me a dry shirt from the duffel bag.
It was definitely too big for me, but at least it wasn’t torn and missing pieces like the one he’d pulled off of me just a few minutes ago.
“Put your leggings in front of the fire so they can dry off. We need to be ready when they arrive.”
Yes, Boss.
The sound of guns clicking pieces together filled the space between us, and I watched as Nikolai seemed to prepare for the damn Armageddon.
He zipped up a duffel bag without a word, shoving a loaded gun into the side compartment like it was a damn toothbrush, followed by another tucked into the back of his pants.
“How long do we have?” I asked, arms folded tight around my chest.
“Longer than I’d like.” He didn’t even look at me as he spoke. “Once Adrik confirms the area is clear, we move to the estate.”
“What happens next?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. “I mean, after we get there. I guess the deal with your father is off now, so what happens to me?”
His hands stilled on the duffel bag. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you let me go? I don’t serve any purpose for you anymore, do I?”
Something dangerous flashed across his face, and when he finally looked up at me, his eyes were arctic cold.
“Let you go?” His voice dropped to a tone so low it made me shiver. “You think I’m just going to drop you off at the nearest airport with a pat on the head?”
“I... I thought, maybe…”
“You thought wrong.” He stood slowly, stalking towards me until he towered over me. “I don’t discuss business with my prisoners. You won’t be the first. You’re stuck with me until I’m done with you, Babochka. On my time. Not yours, not my father’s. Mine. Got it?”
The way Nikolai flipped from being worried he’d touched me without consent to the cruelty his mouth spewed now was astonishing. It was easier to believe this version of him was the real one, only because it saved me from disappointment. So why did my heart dip into my gut?
“Why? You didn’t even want me in the first place. I’m a mistake, right?” My voice was bitter, and even if I tried to hide it, I couldn’t. I hated that my disappointment was so evident. I shouldn’t even be feeling this way in the first place.
“We all have to live with our mistakes, don’t we?
” It was like his words pierced me right through my chest, and I couldn’t hold his gaze anymore, swerving my eyes to the side, looking at anything but those blue eyes that burned so cold.
“That’s it, Babochka. Is the regret stinging now?
Finally realizing the monster you allowed to touch you isn’t capable of redemption? ”
“We all have to live with our mistakes, right?” I echoed his words and threw them back at him before swallowing hard and forcing myself to look into those disturbing orbs and tip the scale of this power balance even further.
I couldn’t afford to be weak, no matter how hard my heart was thumping in my chest as I faced him.
Nikolai’s jaw ticked with a pulse, as if he was trying to reel himself in from whatever it was he craved to do or say.
“You belong to me now.” He finally spoke, “And I decide when to let you go, or if I let you go at all.”
If. He surely wouldn’t want to keep me prisoner forever, so the only thing I read between those lines was either being auctioned off again, or die trying to escape that fate.
We stood like that, toe to toe, eyes boring into each other, neither of us moving. The storm outside finally quieted, but something much worse brewed in the space between us.
The silence in the SUV was heavy. Just the aircon raked to the max, warming the armored car and humming a steady tune into the uncomfortable stillness. Not even the engine purred to fill the quiet spaces. I never knew Russian mobsters would be eco-friendly enough to care and drive electric cars.
Even the scenery had stilled. No more storm and raging snow falling. Just never-ending planes of white, a slightly sunny shimmer that glinted and magnified against the blanket of white that had taken over a landscape I’d never seen before.
Another two SUVs flanked ours with a snowplow in the lead, making way for our small convoy.
Adrik had arrived at the cabin within the hour, allowing me the much-needed reprieve from the sharp left the conversation between Nikolai and me had taken. If there was any doubt in my mind, any blurry line, any definition with room left for interpretation, Nikolai cleared it all right up.
It should be a relief, but now all I felt was shame for fantasizing about the monster who kidnapped me and for allowing him to touch me.
Actually fucking touch me.
Like I’d never allowed anyone to.
The fact that I craved it was humiliating. I actually felt proud at the thought that he wanted me, too. The fact that I would have allowed him to do so much more if only he had pushed made me sink into the damn seat.
How foolish could I have been to let him peek into those sick and twisted thoughts of mine? To actually tell him that I yearned for his touch. There was no denying my depravity now. No backtracking on that confession.
He didn’t deserve my truths. He didn’t even deserve my lies. All he’d earned was retribution for saving me, and now my debt was paid.
We were back to being captor and captive. Predator and prey.
Enemies in a sick game I wanted no part of.
I sank into the seat, wrapped in thick clothes that weren’t mine, staring out the window at the endless white landscape. Nikolai sat in front, speaking in clipped Russian with Adrik, who kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror with concern plastered on those drawn brows of his.
Or maybe pity.
I hated that.
Pity means you’re helpless. Not good enough to ditch that rock bottom and swim to the top.
Maybe I was.
I pulled the oversized jacket tighter around myself, my hands in the pockets, trying to disappear into the fabric while my fingers wrapped around the gun I’d taken from the armoire.
If push came to shove…
Everything hurt. My body, from the cold and exhaustion. My pride, from letting myself believe, even for a second, that Nikolai Volkov could be anything other than what he was.
A monster.
My heart, for being rejected by a person I shouldn’t even care about.
The drive felt endless, but eventually, the landscape began to change. Trees gave way to cleared land, paved roads, and only ankle-deep snow.
Massive gates rose in the distance.
They were easily fifteen feet tall, made of wrought iron so thick they looked like they could stop a tank. As we came closer, I admired the intricate work. The ornate V carved into the center seemed to mock anyone foolish enough to approach.
You couldn’t see past them. Just solid metal and the promise of whatever hell waited on the other side.
“Home sweet home,” Nikolai said, and the sarcasm in his words wasn’t lost on me.
The tall walls wrapped around the estate, my eyes following them into the horizon until they fused together.
Raw concrete topped with loops of razor wire that glinted in the pale winter sun.
Security posts dotted the perimeter every hundred feet or so, each one occupied by guards in tactical gear, carrying weapons I couldn’t even name.
This place was more like a compound, made to keep an army out of reach.
How comforting.
The gates swung open with an ominous groan, and we drove through into what looked like a completely different world than what I was expecting.
Manicured grounds stretched in every direction, perfectly maintained, despite the snow. The driveway curved through what must have been gardens in warmer months, leading up to a structure that made my breath catch.
The Volkov estate was the most impressive mansion I’d ever seen.
Stone and glass rose three stories high, with wings that seemed to stretch forever. Arched windows reflected the winter sky, while massive columns greeted us at the grand entrance. It was beautiful in a cold, imposing way that matched the man sitting in front of me.
The car rolled to a stop, and I felt my stomach drop.