Chapter 8 - Victoria
At one time, I had been proud of my progress, and I had every reason to be.
Despite my previous circumstances and all the reasons I had to be anxious before…all the ways I had been damaged…I managed to pull myself out of it and followed a different path. I put in the work and found a way to manage those crushing emotions.
And yet, Roman somehow managed to reverse those years of progress in such record timing that I never stood a chance.
That heaviness hasn’t left my chest since the moment I was surrounded in the parking lot, and since he decided I was going to be something he could control.
Everything has unfolded in a way I never could’ve seen coming, and I have consented to none of it.
It’s a terrifying thought, and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Despite it being a beautiful day with the sun shining and a low breeze sweeping around us, the tension is far too thick for either of us to truly appreciate it.
I certainly can’t…not while I’m on my feet across the table from him, feeling as if anger courses through me even stronger than before.
He seems to think I came from nothing but privilege. That I couldn’t have possibly experienced more than my fair share of difficult times from a young age.
Roman seems somewhat surprised by me, but he doesn’t make it too obvious as he corrects his face to suppress it.
He sits there with that neutral expression that irritates me more than anything, seemingly unfazed by my insistence.
He might be in his private paradise, but it’s a prison for me, regardless of how he wants to look at it.
As much as I try to, I can’t ignore the clench in my chest whenever I look at him.
We remain like that for a long moment, stuck in that stand-off. My teeth nearly ache from clenching my jaw.
Finally, Roman utters, “Is there anything else?”
There are many, many things I could say to him, but currently, I can’t bring myself to vocalize them. Not while my throat burns from how frustrated the whole thing makes me.
I bite my tongue and push away from the table. “No…nothing else.”
“Good,” he says, taking a sip from his coffee before sitting back in his seat and drumming his fingers along the armrest. “If you’re not going to eat anything, then at least make sure you’re ready to go soon. We have people to see.”
My brows furrow at that, and my chest tightens.
I expect him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. That’s all the explanation I’m given.
Despite my usual compliance, I bristle. “I’m not going anywhere, I don’t want to be…I won’t be ordered around like some dog.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “We’ll see about that.”
He really is persistent…
Even if he might be ready to continue arguing while giving me a measured look, I’ve had enough, and I turn on my heel before leaving the table completely.
The final glimpse I get of his tight jaw tells me just how annoyed he is with me in return, but I don’t care. Roman wants more than anything to be in control of me and the entire situation, but I can’t let him think that will fly.
It seems he’s used to getting his way, but something in me is determined to make sure that doesn’t happen this time around.
The patio door closes harshly behind me, making an almost satisfying sound while I leave Roman behind and push on through the house.
I shiver from the temperature change, and I continue, taking the stairs and moving down the hall until I reach my designated room.
All the while, I close myself in and drop onto the bed, I can’t force the persisting irritation down, along with the helplessness that comes with being his prisoner. The overwhelming tangle of emotions feels like a heavy thing that I have no choice but to carry, despite how badly I want to shed it.
I’ve been in situations before that made me want to leave more than anything, but there’s a glaring difference about this time. Before, it was foster parents or the wrong crowds I had been mixed in with. Now, it’s a man who has forced my hand, claiming he’s doing me some kind of service.
Roman thinks he has figured out everything there is to know about me, but that’s far from the truth. He doesn’t know the half of it, and he doesn’t realize how truly resilient it has made me.
Perhaps I’ve forgotten that part myself…how, despite everything I’ve been through in the past, I’m still standing.
Sitting alone in that bedroom, knowing he’s giving me no choice but to comply, I don’t want to let go of my resolve. I don’t want to fold like he’s expecting me to.
It would be way too easy to give him that satisfaction, but he doesn’t deserve it. I can’t let that happen.
Try as I might to understand why he can’t just cut our losses and let me go despite his baseless claims about me being in danger, I keep thinking how obvious that solution is.
He has the chance to fix it all, yet he won’t. He’s refusing to do the one thing that has the potential to grant me my freedom and allow him to continue with his ridiculous search for this apparent woman he’s after.
Still, he won’t.
But if Roman continues to refuse, then there’s at least one thing I can do.
Being compliant and complacent will only let him think he can continue as he is, but if I can make my stay a living hell for him, he’ll want nothing more than to let me go. He’ll be in a hurry to set me free, in fact.
Lying back on the bed, I stare up at the ceiling as a new sense of resolve simmers within my chest. In a way, it feels right, and the thought of being the worst possible guest in his house sparks a renewed defiance in me.
It might be spiteful, but the way I see it, Roman’s asking for it.
While it might require me to commit to the long game, I know it will be worth it. My freedom is worth it.
I spent far too long in abusive, oppressive homes for me to settle and give in to Roman. I did too much work to fix myself just for him to try and tear me down again.
He thinks he’s a big man and one who can take whatever he wants. He assumes I’ll fall in line and obey him just like his men do.
But I’ve had a taste of that solace I made for myself, and I’ll do anything to get it back.
Roman might be willing to go to extremes for his cause, but so am I.
If he wants to control me, then I’ll just be ungovernable.