Chapter 13 - Roman
A week has passed since that night, and I don’t know how I’m still standing. How I’m possibly functioning despite it all.
Seven days have passed…seven days full of restraint and doing my best to be a good man regardless of how difficult it constantly feels.
Seven days of trying to forget about that damn kiss and how excruciatingly perfect it was. The way she had pursued me—wanted nothing more than to give in to me.
Every reaction of hers is still burned into my memory, along with the taste of her lips and all the quiet sounds that escaped her.
Forcing out a heavy breath, I run a hand over my face. Regardless of all my efforts, I can’t stop thinking about it. About her .
Worst of all, Victoria hasn’t brought it up once. She hasn’t even hinted at it. There has been no further flirting…no coy glances. Certainly no more touching. A small part of me wonders if she just doesn’t remember what happened.
She was drunk, but she wasn’t that drunk. Surely, she remembers. And if she does, that somehow feels even worse.
Maybe that’s my fault for not giving in to those desires and throwing all caution to the wind. For ignoring my urges and trying to be a better man.
No…I did the right thing. I couldn’t take advantage of her like that.
As easy as it would’ve been, that’s not how I want things to be between us. I didn’t want to be a pig, and that’s certainly not how I want her to view me moving forward.
If only she hadn’t been so drunk…If only she wanted me like that sober…
“Damn it,” I utter under my breath, grabbing the file full of paperwork in front of me and tossing it aside while the silent office weighs down on me.
The warehouse has been far too quiet, giving me ample opportunities to get completely lost in thought.
Still, I’m in no mood for background noise, either. I’m not in the mood for anything. I’m sour, and I know it, but as much as I try to think it’s not my fault, I’m well aware that the opposite is true.
I can’t concentrate while being this repressed.
After toeing the line of almost getting what I wanted, establishing a boundary, and enduring an entire week full of nothing but half-buried desire, I can’t think straight.
Of course, I can’t. She’s not here, and that makes it even worse. And yet, having her in the office with me would be a disaster. I’d be insatiable.
My predicament is even worse, given how Victoria isn’t even at the house for me to keep tabs on.
Elena insisted on taking her out for the day to let her breathe and to see something other than those familiar walls.
I wanted more than anything to say no, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would be good for her.
In the moment, at least.
Now, I’m on the brink of losing my mind and cursing myself for ever giving my sister the green light.
Despite sending two guards with them, that knowledge isn’t enough to settle the discomfort in my chest at the thought of her being out there without me.
They’re the best of the best, but it still doesn’t matter. It’s not enough to put my nerves at ease.
After giving up on hoping to accomplish anything, I’ve been spending far too long pacing the office, glancing at the time, and wondering what Victoria and Elena might be doing.
I imagine her moving idly from store to store, browsing but not letting herself buy anything—rather, letting Elena buy things for her. I can picture her sitting in a cafe and doing her best to pretend like she’s as free as anyone else.
But she isn’t free…and she certainly isn’t available for anyone with wandering eyes. Even if the details are muddy, she’s mine.
My wife, the center of my desires, and my problem to sort out.
Just thinking about that new title of hers has the heat within me burning even hotter. I feel more like an animal than a man, and it’s all because of her.
Ever since I was given the chance to taste her lips and feel her body against mine, I’ve done nothing but wonder…wonder if she’s just as hung up on it as I am, or if she’s doing her best to forget all about it.
Either way, that waiting has been agonizing.
As much as I don’t want to believe it, something in the back of my mind is telling me that kiss didn’t mean anything. That it was only the heat of the moment, and she was too drunk to resist the easy temptation.
Gritting my teeth, I push my chair back and move over to the window overlooking the front parking lot.
My patience has been a brittle thing lately, and as much as I want to pretend like I have it all together, I know that’s far from the truth. I’ve been a mess, and it’s all for her.
My phone buzzing in my pocket yanks me from that endless loop of thoughts, and I reach for it without thinking twice.
I glance down at the screen, finding a text from the driver.
My shoulders relax somewhat. Finally. Maybe now I’ll be useful in some capacity.
Telling myself I’m too busy, I don’t go to greet her. I try to convince myself it’s because I’m not planning on folding so easily or succumbing to that strange urgency to see my wife again. But I’m well aware it’s because I need a moment to breathe. To sort out my thoughts.
I used to have rules for myself once…I used to refuse to let myself be vulnerable or weak for anyone outside of my family.
Now, I struggle to even keep my head on straight, and it all comes back to Victoria.
Sighing, I drift behind my desk again and quickly scan over the screen before pausing the moment my attention catches on her.
Through one of the cameras facing the rear parking lot, I see the SUV out back. The doors are open, Elena seems to be gone already, and to my dismay, the men look distracted.
Then I see her…
Victoria.
She’s slipping out of the back seat and moving far faster than she should be. She’s running.
My heart drops to the floor, and before anyone has the chance to notice her, I’m already out of the office.
I swear my boots only hit half the steps as I fly down them, racing towards the nearest door.
Quick on my feet, I survey the lot, and at once, I find her. She’s already approaching the chain-link gate with nothing but sheer momentum behind her. She’s running like her life depends on it. Like she’ll never get the chance again.
For a moment, I’m frozen in place and unable to do anything but watch.
Then, I’m gone.
I haven’t run like this in some time, but with urgency ringing through me, unwilling to let her go or to let my empire fall due to my misstep, I put everything I have into it.
Victoria glances back and notices me there, but beneath the flicker of fear in her eyes is defiance. Betrayal.
She thinks I won’t and can’t catch her. That she’s already home free.
But she’s sorely mistaken.
Despite how my legs burn, I close the gap and press on, noting how her steps become less coordinated and sure. She’s faltering with me on her heels.
There’s a chance.
Right as her fingers reach for the gate, I’m on her, grabbing her waist and yanking her back.
We stumble as she thrashes in my arms, kicking and trying to elbow me.
Immediately, she seems like a completely different woman all over again. Like something has been triggered in her, revealing the true face of her fear and anger, she’s almost uncontrollable.
“Stop it, you idiot!” I snap, doing everything I can to wrangle her back in again. My blood is hot while that anger surrounds me. “Do you have any idea what could’ve happened?”
As if that moment between us in the club or the SUV never happened, Victoria snarls and thrashes still while I haul her back towards the building.
“Let go!”
“I gave you a chance. I let you go out for the day, and this is the shit you pull?” I ask, voice ripe with barely contained rage. “Is it really that hard to just behave?”
Managing to loosen my grip on her by a touch, Victoria spins around in my hold and tries to push against my chest.
“Behave? This is all fake, Roman. It’s fake! Yet you want me to act like your obedient little wife?”
Her incredulous tone bites hard, seemingly coming from a place of pure hurt and anguish.
Even so, my pulse roars in my ears, but she just continues.
“You keep me locked up like a possession…like I’m something that can’t be worn out or else I’ll tarnish. Like I’m supposed to thank you—”
“You should ,” I mutter, cutting her off.
Victoria stops in her tracks and stares at me, seemingly at a loss for words.
Even if it’s harsher than I intended, the connotation still lingers in the air like smog.
I hold her gaze squarely, not offering her anywhere else to look. “You’re safe. You’re fed. You’re given far more than you ever had before…far more than most others will ever see in their lifetime. Yet, this is what you do still.”
Her brows furrow, almost like she can’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. “None of that matters when I don’t have any autonomy…when all choice is taken from me.”
I try to hold back, but it seems almost impossible with everything mounting in me.
I’ve had to bury too much over the last week, and I can’t take it anymore.
“You kissed me…you didn’t want me to stop,” I utter, dragging up something I should probably keep buried. “I didn’t take advantage of you. I didn’t even touch you after the fact. I’m not looking for any kind of reward, but I’ve given you space and time…I’ve been as patient as I possibly can be.”
When she says nothing, I continue.
“Yet, you still try to run…”
There’s a dangerously sharp edge to my voice, but I don’t make any attempts to soften it. Not when I’m barely hanging on as it is.
It surprises even me, but after that kiss, combined with the pure agony of holding myself back despite wanting her more than anything, I can’t help but see it as a betrayal. As something meant to hurt me.
“You don’t need to like this arrangement. You don’t even need to like me,” I murmur, finding it hard to stop with the opportunity right in front of me while I have her rapt attention. “But don’t pretend like there’s nothing here . Like you have every reason to run.”
As much as I want her to say something, her silence feels even more impactful. It’s telling me that she knows exactly how deep in shit she is right now.
Leaning in closer, I continue lowly, “because I haven’t stopped thinking about it…the club. The back seat. It’s driving me crazy.”
Another patch of quiet lingers between us, and all that can be heard is our breathing.
Despite being stunned, Victoria seems to pull herself together enough to scowl at me. “What now? Are you going to make me disappear?”
That implication feels like a knife through the heart, but I leave it.
“No,” I utter, keeping my expression impassive despite my lingering rage. “I’m going to hold myself together again. And you are going inside…”
Victoria doesn’t move while she blinks back at me, digesting everything I just said.
My jaw clenches.
“Move. Now.”
Despite her hesitation, she goes, and I follow close behind, barely holding myself back despite it all.