Chapter 9 - Nikolai
I’m in trouble, and not the kind that can be fought out of with a gun, a threat, or a well-placed lie.
This is everything I’ve been deliberately keeping separate, colliding in one room, and I have no clean way out.
Roman’s still standing a few feet away with his arms crossed and posture loose but coiled with restless energy underneath. I’ve dealt with my brother long enough to know when he’s one wrong answer away from snapping.
His gaze flicks between Danielle and me, brutal and silently assessing, while he tries putting pieces together that I haven’t even had the chance to explain yet.
Danielle, or Dani, is staring at me like she doesn’t recognize me. Like the ground just shifted under her feet, which, in a sense, it did. Now she knows that I haven’t been completely honest about myself.
“Who is she?” Roman asks with no hesitation or patience. He’s straight to the point, as usual.
Not answering immediately, I clench my jaw while my mind starts running through options, and none of them are good. None of them will both sate him and keep the important parts hidden.
“Nikolai,” he mutters, dangerously quiet now. “I asked you a question.”
Dani’s eyes narrow a bit more as she hears my actual name again, and it’s almost like it burns her from the inside out.
Forced to ignore her for now, I look at Roman and hold his stare, regardless of how scathing it seems. In a silent plea, I give the smallest shake of my head.
I can’t tell him here…not like this with Dani in the room.
“I’ll explain, just give me a chance.”
He doesn’t move. “Now.”
With a slow exhale, I drag a hand down my face and try to push the look of betrayal on Dani’s face out of my mind.
I don’t have time to ease into this, as much as I’d like to. “Roman, I need you to trust me on this.”
That earns me a short, humorless huff, but he just fixes his gaze on me harder. “You’re hiding a woman in your place, refusing to tell me why, and you want trust?”
“I said I’ll explain,” I repeat, firmer this time. “Just not like this.”
His gaze narrows, looking even closer to unloading on me right here and now. “You don’t get to dictate terms when you’re the one creating problems.”
Dani flinches slightly at the shift in his tone.
I catch it, and that alone puts me on edge.
“Enough,” I say before it can get even more out of hand, and before we risk ruining whatever scrap of trust she might still have for me.
Roman’s eyes lock onto mine without saying anything, and that near-murderous gleam threatens to take me out on the spot. We hold it for a beat too long, but he at least gives me the chance to speak.
“I’ve been working on something,” I tell him. It isn’t the full truth, but it’s closer than I’ve given him before, and bordering on too far for comfort.
His expression shifts slightly. Rather than softening, it becomes more focused, like he’s prepared to pull every word apart until he gets the answer he wants. “What kind of something?”
“Off-books.”
That definitely gets his attention as he scoffs, and disbelief cuts through his voice. “You went off-books without telling anyone?”
“I had my reasons.”
“You better,” he mutters, expecting me to elaborate regardless of how badly I don’t want to.
I glance at Dani again, and I know she’s listening too closely, which means I need to control what she hears even while Roman is demanding more from me.
“I’m closer than I’ve been in months,” I continue, keeping my tone low and intentional as I don’t flinch. “But I need more time to finish it.”
Roman studies me hard, not jumping into any accusations like I expected him to.
He knows me well enough to read between the lines, to see when I’m serious, when I’m bluffing, and when I can’t compromise information. That is perhaps the only reason he hasn’t ripped me to shreds just to get to the center of it all.
“And she’s part of that?” he asks, nodding slightly toward Dani.
It’s a loaded question, and I choose my answer carefully. “She’s involved.”
Dani’s head turns sharply toward me, looking like there are many questions of her own that need answering, but she doesn’t get into it with my brother present. She doesn’t know anything about him, and she’s smart for holding back.
Roman notices that too as his gaze flicks between us again, then something clicks into place. The realization settles, and he allows some of his anger to fizzle away.
“You’re in deep.”
I don’t deny it. I’m in far deeper than I ever meant to be, but I can’t take it back now.
Another moment of silence lingers with none of us even moving, then he exhales and runs a hand through his hair. When his gaze reaches me again, he holds mine deliberately. “This isn’t over, but I’ll give you your time. For now.”
The concession is temporary and conditional, but it’s enough to keep from spilling everything to them both.
“Don’t make me regret that,” he finishes, entirely serious.
“I won’t.”
It’s a lie, or at least, not one I can guarantee. I can’t guarantee either of them anything, regardless of how hard I’m trying.
Roman shifts his focus to Dani briefly, studying her properly this time. It isn’t hostile or accusatory, but it’s enough to make her stiffen under it. He’s curious about where she fits into this, but he won’t ask directly just yet. I have the feeling that it will be coming soon enough.
Something unreadable shifts in his expression before it smooths over again, then he turns and walks out without another word.
The door closes behind him with a soft click, and a crushing kind of silence follows.
As much as I want to get ahead and do as much damage control as physically possible, I don’t move for a second, and I don’t speak.
There’s no going back now, and I can feel it in the air around us.
There’s no room for half-truths or a carefully controlled narrative anymore, and while it’s tempting to try to skirt around the truth, we’re both stuck here. I can’t keep leaving her in the dark and expect her to trust me.
Dani’s still standing where she was, but she looks different. Rather than just being confused or hurt, there’s something more guarded in her eyes.
“You lied to me.”
Her voice cuts through the silence with more control than I’m used to hearing from her, and somehow, it’s worse than yelling.
As I open my mouth, she snaps. “Don’t you dare give me excuses.”
I close my mouth and try to think of how to start.
“I want the truth,” she continues with a shaky voice despite the conviction behind it. “All of it…no more half-answers, and no more ‘you don’t need to know’. I’m done with that.”
Really studying her now, I catch everything beneath the anger.
Dani is scared, and understandably so, but she’s pushing through it anyway. She’s standing her ground, whereas most people in her position would shut down and retreat. She’s doing the opposite and demanding control where she can get it.
I exhale slowly and gather my thoughts, then I nod. “Alright.”
Her brows draw together slightly, obviously not expecting me to even attempt honesty with her.
“My name isn’t Liam. As you heard, it’s Nikolai.”
She scoffs, not giving me much credit for the simple explanation as she mutters, “I figured as much.”
“I lied because it was easier for you and for me,” I continue, trying to ignore how much I don’t want to reveal anything, given how long I’ve kept everything under wraps. “Liam is the alias I’ve been using to flush these people out, and it just made sense to continue using it.”
“That’s not a justification,” she shoots back. “And I don’t see why you needed to use it anyway…it’s not like there’s anyone else here.”
“No, it’s not,” I agree, catching her brief flicker of surprise. “I guess it’s just habit to make sure others involved in this situation know as little about me as possible.”
Dani gives me a scrutinizing look, silently thinking before she demands, “What else?”
Hesitating, the most crucial part is already on the end of my tongue, and I force myself to say it. “I’m part of an organization. That’s what my brother, Roman, was talking about.”
Her expression tightens immediately, almost bracing herself. “What kind of organization?”
There’s no easy way to say this, and no soft version that will soften the blow, so I don’t try.
“The Bratva.”
She blinks back at me, obviously confused and not in the know, as I anticipated. “What’s that?”
“It’s the Russian brotherhood,” I tell her, not mincing words.
“Brotherhood,” she echoes, brows furrowing as she takes me in. “As in…”
“Organized crime.”
After a beat, letting the words soak in, her face drains of what little color it had. “You’re serious.”
“Very.”
“You’re telling me you’re, what? A criminal?” she asks, her voice rising slightly like the reality of it is setting in more and more with every passing second.
“I’m telling you I operate within that structure,” I say evenly, despite knowing that fact doesn’t make it any more palatable.
“That’s not better!”
“I didn’t say it was.”
Dani lets out a disbelieving laugh that shakes at the edges. “You have to be kidding me right now. I’ve been stuck under the roof of someone who’s part of the Bratva, and you just expect me to be okay with that?”
“No, I don’t. I know how it sounds.”
She stares at me for a long moment, trying to reconcile this with everything she’s seen so far, and everything I’ve let her know. I’m the man who kept her here, who told her the truth about her father, and now the man who is a criminal in her eyes.
“I don’t understand,” she says, quieter now. “If you’re part of something like that, then why…”
She trails off, unable to finish forming the words, but I know what she’s asking.
Why help her? Why stop the clinic? Why any of this?
They’re all questions I’ve asked myself, and ones I still struggle to answer at times, but that doesn’t stop me from continuing.
“I told you,” I say. “I’m working on something. Something my brothers didn’t know about until tonight.”
Dani clenches her jaw as more irritation sparks in her eyes. “You’re still being vague.”
“I’ve already told you far more than I ever should’ve,” I reply, my tone sharpening slightly into something firmer.
I can’t give her everything, and maybe I never will be able to. Either way, she becomes an even bigger liability the more I tell her, and that isn’t something I can take lightly.
She shakes her head while she struggles to accept it all and backs slightly. “I don’t even know what to think right now.”
I watch her carefully for every reaction and subtle shift, trying to gauge where she’s landing in all of this.
The fear and anger are definitely there, but underneath, there’s also something conflicted. As much as this surely changes things in her mind when it comes to me, it doesn’t erase what she has already seen or what she’s experienced.
“You said I was safe here,” Dani murmurs after a moment, voice soft enough to make something splinter inside me.
“You are,” I reassure her, even if it’s impossible to see. “That hasn’t changed, regardless of what you know now.”
She lets out a slow breath, avoiding my gaze. “I don’t know if I believe that anymore.”
That stings more than it should, but I force that down, well aware that she has every right to feel that way.
“I don’t expect you to.”
The silence hanging between us doesn’t feel as explosive as it had, but now, we’re standing in new territory, and neither of us knows how to navigate it.