Chapter 17 - Wyatt
This isn’t the time or place to relax, so I don’t.
Not while I’m ushered through Lukov territory with half a dozen eyes on me, tracking my every move down the hall. Despite the heavy, oppressive presence of her family around me, Elena walks at my side, calm on the outside but surely coiled tight beneath it.
Even if Roman’s agreement feels like a loaded gun itself, Elena vouched for me.
That fact alone matters more than I want to admit.
The fragile truth is nothing to cling to, but it’s enough of a crack in the wall I’ve been slamming myself against for far too long. It’s something.
I force the same kind of neutral expression as the rest of them, regardless of how loud my pulse is in my ears.
Eventually, they leave me in a sitting room, and Elena gives me a reassuring nod that does more for me than it should.
I’m told to wait as one of her colder brothers waits behind—Nikolai, if I heard Roman’s murmured command right.
He stands in the archway, gun holstered, but very much on him, looking ever the enforcer.
Luckily, I don’t plan on doing anything to make him draw it again. So instead, I sit and wait.
I don’t know how much time passes, and I don’t care to keep track while my mind races at the thought of what’s to come. The prospect of seeing her again.
It’s been so long, and despite this being the very thing I’ve been working towards, a strange kind of anxiety stitches itself along the edges of my composure.
Lily thinks I’m dead, and she has for quite some time, as anticipated. I don’t know how she’ll react or what she’ll have to say to me.
Of course, my mind goes straight to the worst-case scenario, but I try to shove it down again. I don’t want to ruin this.
Eventually, quick, almost worried-sounding footsteps come from down the hall, then pause, and words are exchanged in hushed tones. I register Mikhail’s voice…then hers.
My heart immediately clenches, and a beat later, it nearly stops.
Lily appears at the threshold of the room, eyes wide as she searches the space, only to pause the moment she sees me.
For a long, drawn-out moment, neither of us says or does anything. I can only stare as the world seems to stop, feeling a rush of both relief and guilt all at once. It slams into me, and just breathing takes more thought than usual.
Lily looks older. Not in a bad way, of course, but fuller and more solid, like she finally grew into herself.
She isn’t the teenager I used to know. Her hair is longer and almost darker now, pulled back loosely, with a few strands against her cheeks.
Gold-rimmed glasses rest on her nose, framing those brown eyes that look a lot like mine, even now.
She opens her mouth to say something, only to close it again as that shock flashes across her face before it fractures into disbelief, then anger, followed by an endless barrage of emotions she can’t even begin to hide.
“Wyatt?” She asks, just above a whisper.
I want to say something…anything. But I can only manage a nod as my throat feels far too tight for words.
Lily stares at me like she’s seen a ghost, which isn’t far from the truth. She still doesn’t move, even as Nikolai shifts somewhat uncomfortably behind us. All the while, it’s like I can see her then and now, past and present interchangeably.
Finally, she murmurs with a shaky tone, “You were dead. I watched them bury you.”
“I know,” I manage, hoarse and far too raw. “I’m sorry…”
Without warning, she crosses the room in a few quick strides. I half expect her to hug me, but her fists hit my chest first, not painfully, but deliberately enough, like she’s both making sure this is real and releasing everything she has kept locked up inside.
“Do you have any idea what you did to me?” She demands as tears flood her eyes before they spill over and run down her cheeks. “…What I had to go through?”
Letting her get it out, I don’t move. I know I deserve worse.
“I thought you were gone for good. No more chances,” Lily says through her tumultuous sobbing and hitting. “I mourned you, Wyatt. I rebuilt my life around the idea that you were never coming back.”
“I know,” I repeat uselessly, eyes forlorn as I look down at her. That guilt only amplifies in my chest. “I never wanted you to be alone.”
“Then why? Why fake your death and disappear?”
As much as something in me wants to close up again and to keep the truth from hurting her more, I’ve been waiting too long for this opportunity to let it pass. Finally, I have her in front of me, aware that I’m alive, and I’m not going to waste it.
So I take a breath and gently grasp her wrists, holding them. “I did it because someone put a target on my back, and in turn, on yours. I knew that if I stayed and tried to fight through it, they’d use you to get to me, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
Slowly, she pulls her arms back, so I let go. She wipes at her face and pulls in a stuttered breath. “So you decided for me…you kept me in the dark.”
“I did,” I admit quietly, well aware of what that must’ve done to her. “It was wrong of me to do so, but I didn’t see any other choice. I wanted to keep you safe.”
Despite a subtle shift in her anger, hurt lingers in her gaze. “You always did.”
“And that hasn’t changed.”
Lily stares up at me for a long moment, letting me see as that pain gradually shifts into relief. “God, I’m so mad at you.” Then, she nearly knocks the wind out of me as she surges forward and pulls me in for a hug this time. She sniffles. “But I missed you so much.”
It catches me off guard at first, but I ease into it, feeling as she pulls at my heartstrings so easily. I swallow hard, trying to keep my own emotions down as I hug her back. “I missed you more than I can say.”
We stay like that long enough to finally satisfy that protective side of me, and the one that’s been raging at the thought of anything happening to her. But here she is, within reach. Safe and breathing.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, the Lukovs seem to be looking after her well.
“Mama!”
A little voice pulls us both out of it, and as Lily releases me while wiping her tears away, I glance over to see a small figure entering the room on mostly steady legs.
As the child approaches and Lily softens, smiling gently, it clicks in immediately, and everything stops all over again.
“You were supposed to wait in the other room,” she says gently, bending down to pick the little one up. Resting the little girl on her hip, a maternal warmth spreads through her features.
“I know,” the toddler says quietly with a sheepish look before glancing at me and turning a bit shy. Yet, those dark eyes stay on me as she clutches Lily’s shirt.
“Lily,” I murmur, in shock at the sight. “Is that…?”
Taking a grounding breath, my sister nods and holds the girl close. “This is my daughter, Anya.”
My knees nearly buckle, but I force myself to stay upright as my expression softens. “With Mikhail?”
She nods, and Anya presses her cheek to her shoulder.
I take her in, both dumbfounded and shaken by the fact that I’ve had a niece without even knowing it. The overwhelming mix of grief and wonder hit me so hard that I couldn’t will my mind to come up with anything better to say. “Hi, Anya.”
She frowns slightly, obviously completely unaware of who I am. It stings, but I can’t exactly blame her.
Despite everything, Lily snorts. “She’s deciding if you’re worth her time.”
As the tension loosens enough to be noticeable, I let a small smile pull at my lips. “Fair enough.”
After a beat, Lily watches me closely while I take it all in, trying to process too much at once. “You really didn’t know?”
I shake my head. “No, not at all. I didn’t think I’d missed this much...”
Her expression softens just a touch, and from her eyes alone, I can tell she’s far too wise for her years. “I’m not the girl you left behind.”
“I can see that,” I say quietly, feeling another stir of emotions in me. “You have a life here. You look happy.”
She hesitates only slightly, as if wondering just how honest she wants to be with me after all this time. “I am.”
The admission hits me like a sucker punch, but in a way, it’s still somewhat of a relief.
But old habits die hard as I search her face for any signs of fear, regret, or maybe even coercion. Anything that might justify all the work I’ve done to get her back. I find none of it.
Only quiet confidence, contentment, and love that I always wanted her to feel.
She’s at peace in this life, and there’s nothing to rescue her from.
It’s bittersweet, but I’m not a man who goes back on his word.
Lily takes another deep breath, adjusting her hold on Anya.
Her expression is kind despite the direct tone she uses.
“I know all of this might look convenient, but I need you to understand something. I chose this. I chose to stay with Mikhail even if I could’ve left a long time ago. I stayed because I wanted to.”
As the last of my preconceived notions comes crumbling down, I nod. “I believe you, Lily.”
She studies me again, vaguely wary as she lifts a brow. “You’re not here to try and take me away?”
“No,” I answer, words more certain than the confusing emotions moving through me. “If I didn’t know better, maybe I would. But I’m not.”
Lily exhales, and her shoulders relax a bit more. “Good, because I wouldn’t have gone.”
“I know.”
The brief pause sits between us, lighter than it had been, but still full of many unspoken things.
Then, she begins again. “I was angry for a long time. I was angry with mom and dad, then for you. I hated that I was left alone.” She glances at her daughter, and her eyes soften with a light pull of her lips before gently placing her back down again.
“But I survive, and I built something worth keeping. Something good. And now, you’re standing here, and I don’t know what to do with that. ”
“I don’t expect you to, and I don’t expect forgiveness either. I just needed to know you were okay.”
As Lily looks at me with that warmth of hers, I kept close to my heart ever since I had to disappear, the last of my defences fall, and I let myself soak it in completely. She was always the kind one. The one who understood even when she had every right to be furious.
“You should meet Mikhail properly.”
Even if the thought is still a bit grating, I brace myself and nod.
With one reason for me being here addressed, the other still needs attention, and the sooner it’s over, the better.
As we leave the room and head down the hall while Anya holds her mother’s hand, a new revelation settles in slowly, both unsettling and profound.
Even if I built my plans on everything I’ve been clinging to from the past, reality moved on without me. And now, surrounded by the very proof of that, my perspective is changing in real time.
It’s sharp, disorienting, and almost painful to come to terms with, but it’s real, even if this isn’t how I expected things to pan out at all.
But maybe it’s for the better. Maybe it’s all to make way for something new.