CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Callahan
I watch her sleeping. The rise of her chest. The soft exhale out. And my chest hurts in a way I’ve never felt it hurt before.
I close my eyes and prepare myself for the lie I’m about to tell.
For being the chickenshit I’m about to be.
For walking away this way instead of a long, drawn-out goodbye, because it hurts too fucking much to be with her and know I won’t be in a few days’ time.
I glance over to where my bags are packed, waiting at the front door, before I sit on the bed beside her and brush the hair off her forehead.
“Sutton.” My voice is broken already on her name. “Sutt.”
Her lashes flutter open in the early morning light. Alarm flashes through her eyes. “What—is—”
“Shh.” I lean forward and kiss her lips. “Everything is okay.” I lean my forehead against hers and just breathe. “I have to go.” Her body stills. “I’ve been called back to meetings. I . . .”
“No.” It’s a soft sigh of disbelief that has her hands reaching up to touch my face.
“I know.” I choke the words out. “I’m sorry.” And those two words are for so much more than for how I’m leaving.
They’re for not being man enough to stay.
For not being the man she deserves.
For not realizing any of this sooner.
“Callahan,” she murmurs as she brings her lips to mine. “Please.” She kisses me again. “Not yet.”
I lean back and see the tear escape the corner of her eye and fall to the pillow beneath her head.
It stomps on my heart that already feels like it’s breaking.
“I know.” I press my lips to hers again.
“I know,” I say between kisses. “I know.” I repeat it as we both strip our clothes off with a quiet urgency.
“I know,” I whisper, as I push my way into her and begin the process of saying goodbye.
It’s her eyes on mine as we move together.
It’s her fingers linked with mine as I try to show her what she means to me.
It’s her name on my lips as I try to memorize the look on her face.
We say goodbye in the early morning light with the palm trees rustling in the breeze outside and with what feels like a hurricane of emotion raging inside me.
We say goodbye with quiet kisses and gentle sighs.
We say goodbye after I’m dressed again, her body pressed against mine as I hold her there and kiss the top of her head.
We speak in looks, in tender kisses, in a glance over my shoulder to where she stands in the hallway before I walk out the door and out of her life.
The image of her sticks with me as the driver takes me to the tarmac where the Sharpe International private jet awaits me.
It’s all I see as the jet takes off, Ocean’s Edge Resort a shrinking speck beneath me.
I’m such an asshole for doing it this way.
For being this way.
For proving her right.
She does deserve better than me.
“Maybe one day you’ll fall in love and bring her to this place too, Callahan. Your mother would love that.”
“I did, Dad,” I murmur below the hum of the jet’s engines before leaning my head back in my seat and closing my eyes.
But I didn’t know how to keep her.