15. Bastien
15
BASTIEN
The second the food came, Luca hunched over his meal and scarfed down his pancakes.
We were out late, so late that by the time we were done, it was almost lunchtime. Breakfast food was perfectly agreeable to both of us. I was dead tired because work had become my life, and then I needed to give my woman the attention she deserved when I came home.
My bachelor days were behind me. I didn’t have my house to myself, didn’t watch the game with a decanter of scotch as my only company. Now, there were vases of flowers in the bathroom and the living room that hadn’t been there before. Sometimes when I opened my drawer to grab underwear, her thongs spilled over onto my side. Another nameless woman wouldn’t be in my bed. I wouldn’t leave cash on the nightstand for the whore who did her job.
But one single woman gave me more joy than all those things.
“How’s the wedding planning?” Luca asked.
“Ask Fleur.”
He took another enormous bite and needed several seconds to swallow it. “Do you know anything about it?”
“She wants to get married in Luxembourg Gardens then have the reception at the Four Seasons.”
“Then it sounds like a big wedding.”
“That’s what happens when you know the entire city.” I ate my eggs and bacon before my pancakes. Luca preferred to hit the sweets before the savory food.
“Is your mom helping her?”
“No, but I guess I should recommend that. They could get to know each other better.”
He nodded with a mouthful of food. “Double-edged sword. Your mom could start pressuring her into grandkids and all that horseshit.”
“Fleur and I aren’t having kids.”
“Really?” he asked. “Lucky you, man. Women are so obsessed with kids like there’s nothing more to life. Fleur is cool, so I guess that doesn’t surprise me.”
I debated telling him the truth. Should probably keep it to myself because it was my business, but I told the guy everything. “Actually, she wants kids, but only if I leave the business. I told her I wouldn’t do that, so she said she was fine not having them.”
That was surprising enough that it made Luca stop eating. “Just like that?”
“She said she’d rather live without children than live without me.”
He continued to look skeptical about the whole thing. “And you’re okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it? That’s exactly what I want. I’ve never wanted kids. A long life with Fleur with nice dinners and warm nights in front of the fireplace and expensive trips is what I want.”
“But that’s what you want. She wants that and more.”
“Relationships are about compromise. You can’t have it all.”
“Really?” He didn’t return to his food, and the conversation became far more serious than I’d expected it to be. “Because it looks like you got everything you want…”
I didn’t let my anger rise, not when we were in a crowded room, not when I knew he always meant well, even when we butted heads. “I told her we can do the kid thing. I’m not the asshole, and I don’t appreciate being treated like one.”
“I’m just surprised, man.”
“Why? I told her I would protect her and whatever children she wants to have. Not my fault she doesn’t have any faith in that.”
“Your dad always protected you, didn’t he? But growing up in that situation fucked you up bad.”
“I would never involve my kids in this life.” I’d never put a gun in their hands and order them to shoot an innocent girl. I would never tell them they were unwanted, even if that was how I really felt.
He was quiet for a while, looking down at his food but not eating it. “You’ve loved this woman since the moment you saw her. I know she took off in the beginning because she was scared, but this woman fucking drowned , and she stayed. Now you tell her you won’t give her a family in a safe environment, and she still stays. The loyalty she has shown you is unbelievable. She’s got balls, man, and I’m just surprised that after all that, you could do this to her.”
I’d felt no guilt for my decision, but Luca completely changed that perception.
“How can you love this woman as much as you do and refuse to give this to her?”
“I think you’re just trying to take my job.”
He immediately smirked at the taunt. “If I want your job, I’d just shank you, asshole.”
I’d made a joke to dispel the tension, but the second I waved away the smoke, it wafted back in.
He turned serious again. “It’s not like this is happening now. You’ve got at least five years, Bastien. I don’t want kids, never have and never will, but if I loved a woman like you do, I couldn’t do that to her, not when she’s been one hell of a woman.”
My food remained untouched and turned cold, and the rest of my body followed suit, like I was in the process of rigor mortis. It was hard to imagine a boring life of diaper changes and spit-up all over my clothes, especially when I didn’t have the adrenaline at night, when I didn’t thrive in the shadows after they went to bed. Adrien had been a big fucking disappointment for her, said he loved her and never proved it, never gave her the love and respect she deserved.
I didn’t want to do the same.
When I came home, she was happy to see me, as if that horrible fight had never happened. She’d already gotten ready for the day like she intended to go out after I went to bed. Her hair and makeup were done, but she wore one of my long-sleeved shirts like a baggy dress.
She rose on her tiptoes to kiss me, her arms unable to wrap around my neck so she grabbed on to my shoulders instead.
I slipped my hands underneath her dress, and I took hold of that fine ass. I was dead tired when I walked in the door, but the second she was in my grasp, I was wide awake. I gripped her thighs then lifted her up into me, her legs automatically wrapping around my waist.
Now, her arms could circle my neck, and she kissed me like she’d been thinking about me all morning. “I missed you.”
Her neediness turned me on—that was how much I loved her. No amount of clinginess could deter my obsession with her. Sometimes, less was more, but other times, more was more. When a woman grabbed my hand, that was all it took for the night to come to a screeching halt. But there was nothing Fleur could do to make me feel that way. “I missed you too, sweetheart.” I carried her to the bed and dropped her on the edge before I took hold of her panties underneath her shirt and tugged them down. I pushed the shirt above her tits and dropped my bottoms before I grabbed her hips and lifted her into place to take my dick.
I slid through her slickness that drenched my dick, and I already wanted to come. “Fuck, you really did miss me.”
When I woke up, she was on the couch reading, in a different one of my shirts. As far as I could tell, she didn’t have any loungewear because she’d never worn it in front of me. She preferred my clothes, and that was just fine with me.
I showered then joined her on the couch.
She immediately closed her book and left it on the coffee table before she crawled to me and got on my lap, the excitement in her eyes like a torch she carried just for me. “How was work?”
My hands went to her thighs. I could feel the change in her legs, the muscles she’d built just from running on the treadmill every day. Her waist was a little tighter, and I could feel her abs against my thumbs whenever I squeezed her. Her ass was tighter too—and I definitely liked that. “Same shit.” I didn’t know how to answer such a routine question, not when I was a criminal rather than a guy working in an office. “How was your day?”
“I had a blueberry muffin that was to die for, so it was pretty great.” She was all over me again, her hands on my chest, her ass right in my lap, obsessed with me like I’d been with her since the moment I saw her.
I had no doubt that she was really past our fight, that she felt no resentment toward me for what she had to sacrifice. I could just let it go, let myself have what I want and let her take the hit.
But now, I felt so much guilt. “I’ve changed my mind.”
“About what?” she asked, her eyes narrowed like she really had no idea what I referred to.
“If you want to have kids, I’ll leave.”
It took her time to absorb that statement, her expression going through various stages of confusion, deeper confusion, and then shock. She’d been happy a moment ago, and now she looked devastated, like I should have just left it alone. “What do you mean, Bastien?”
“I’ll retire from the business. We can start a new life.”
“But you said?—”
“I know what I said. I changed my mind.”
“But why?” Her affection retreated. She left my lap and moved to the couch beside me. She seemed overwhelmed with emotion rather than joy, which was the opposite effect I’d intended.
“Because I love you, Fleur. Because I asked you to marry me, and you deserve everything you want. You deserve a man who puts you first. You shouldn’t have to compromise on a damn thing.” My life had changed when I’d met Fleur, but it had changed again when I asked her to marry me. All my priorities were different now. She was the single most important thing to me, and I’d feel like a worthless piece of shit, denying her what she wanted most. “So, whenever you want this to happen, we’ll make it happen.”
Her eyes drifted away like she needed time to come to terms with what I’d said. “I—I didn’t expect this.” Her dark hair was pulled back over one shoulder, and her eyes had an emotional depth that I hadn’t seen before. “I don’t want you to give up what you love either, Bastien.”
“But I don’t love it, Fleur. I love you.”
Her eyes came back to me.
My heart started to race as I felt it creep up my spine, the truth that I’d pretended was a lie for a decade. Broken shards started to fuse together once more, but somehow, the healing was more painful than the initial break. “You were right.”
She continued her stare, not a blink in sight.
I thought about what I’d said to Godric at the wedding, how fucked up in the head I was. “I did all of this to prove that I’m not the spineless, weak, unwanted boy my father said I was. But he’s long dead, and I can’t prove shit to a ghost. If I were truly a secure man, I wouldn’t care about proving a damn thing. But I’m not.”
Her eyes softened like she might start to cry.
“This job doesn’t mean anything. It’s you that means everything.” I’d made my billions, I’d proven that I was a greater man than my father was, proven that I was more successful than his favorite son.
But I was just as empty as I’d been the moment my father looked me in the eye and said he wished he’d never had me. I’d changed in a lot of ways, put on a hundred pounds of muscle and covered my scars with tattoos, was unrecognizable to most people who knew me as a boy, but underneath, I hadn’t changed one bit.
I’d been lying in my father’s blood and staring at the ceiling all this time.
“Bastien…” Her hand went to my arm, like she knew I was on the verge of tears that I would never shed, not even in front of her. I hadn’t cried since the night I’d killed my father, and I never would.
My eyes were on the fireplace when I grabbed her hand and cradled it to my mouth. I kissed her palm before I enclosed it in my fist and placed it against my heart. “You are my life now.”
“You sure about this?” Luca sat beside me in the back seat.
“Yeah.”
“Could be a trap.”
“Even if it is, I’ll be fine.” I opened the back door and got out before Luca could say anything else. It had just started to rain, but I let my clothes grow damp and my hair wet as I took my time approaching the doors to the restaurant.
The lights were on inside, showing a dimly lit steakhouse with a checkered tile floor. The grand fireplace against the wall was on and blanketed half of my visitor’s face in light and the other half in darkness.
No one else seemed to be there, and the table he occupied wasn’t directly next to any windows.
I approached the table and saw him up close, blond hair and blue eyes, his Russian features obvious. He had the nose for it too. He had a distinct scar from his eyebrow to his chin, like a knife had gutted him badly years ago.
We stared at each other for a hard minute before I took a seat.
He didn’t have a drink in front of him. Kept his hands above the table with his arms crossed—unspoken etiquette.
My elbows rested on the table, my hands together near my face.
Heavy silence passed, both of us staring at each other, trying to pierce the other’s bulletproof exterior. He reminded me of the cosmonauts I saw on TV, launching from Kazakhstan.
With men like us, this staring contest could last days.
He spoke first. “You’ve been looking for me, Butcher.” He cocked his head slightly, a man who was ten to fifteen years older than me but still bulky with muscle. “Well, here I am.”
I was an arrogant man, but I was never arrogant about an opponent that could affect my city so profoundly. With his harsh ideologies, he campaigned for my job, and he was obviously a decent candidate because my own supporters were turning on me. “Good. No one likes to chase a rat in a sewer.”
Instead of rising to the insult, he allowed a slow smile to creep over his lips. “You’re a young, arrogant son of a bitch. I like it. You remind me of myself.” He raised his hand toward his face then traced the scar from eyebrow to jaw. “Before I got this.”
The threat was subtle, but I definitely got the message.
“I still remember the man who gave this to me. Was never the same after…”
“Did it feel better after your mother kissed it?”
His smirk returned. Most men were probably too intimidated to face off with him, and he seemed to genuinely enjoy the fact that I wasn’t intimidated at all. “I’ve admired your work. From humble beginnings as the son of a simple dealer to President Martin’s right-hand man and the first French Emperor, it’s quite impressive for a young man. Which is why I’m going to offer you a deal that would be unwise to refuse.”
I already knew what that deal would be.
“Step down and revoke the Fifth Republic—and I let you live.”
“You know I can’t do that, Ivan.”
“Ivan?” He smiled again. “We’re on a first-name basis now?”
“Aren’t all people who want to kill each other?”
This time, he chuckled. “I like you, Bastien. Which makes this a little harder…but only a little.”
“We won’t go back. France’s economy is the strongest it’s ever been. Tourism is up over fifty percent. And all my partners are rich and operating with convenience. Working with the government rather than against it has increased productivity.”
“Perhaps that’s true, but margins are less favorable with paid labor, and with the taxes and tariffs they’re forced to pay, they’re working more and keeping less.”
“But innocents are spared, and the country in which they reside is the most powerful in its history—and that counts for something.”
“Over eighty percent of your partners disagree, Bastien. They don’t care about patriotism or morality. They want the old Republic to be reinstated—and they want you gone.”
I’d hoped in time that the men would accept the new policies, but apparently they were too greedy for that. “The Fifth Republic stays. When I discover the parties who have aligned with you, they’ll be replaced.”
“We both know that’s not going to happen, Bastien. You seem like a smart kid who still believes in the good of people, very commendable.” He sat upright and placed his elbows on the table. “But that shit is gonna get you killed.”
I held my silence.
“If you want to do good in this world, be a cop or a teacher. Be a philanthropist. You’re rich enough for it.”
“In the years since I’ve been doing this, I’ve saved thousands, tens of thousands, of innocent lives, and I’ve strengthened my country’s place within the world. I will never know the true impact of my work because it simply can’t be quantified. That’s more important than money, Ivan.”
“Those who care about money the least are always the ones who have it.”
“And you don’t?”
“I was in a Russian prison for five years. I managed to escape and have had to start over. Eating out of dumpsters and robbing men for their clothes. When I came to Paris, I heard about the infamous Butcher…and I knew that was the job I wanted.”
“I’m sorry to inform you that we aren’t hiring right now.”
“No,” he said with a smile. “You’re one of those pricks who loves to smell his own shit because it smells so damn good. But if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and smell the fresh air, you’re going to get that head cut off.” His smile faded, and he turned dead serious. “You have no idea what you’re up against. This is your last chance to take my offer. Think wisely because it won’t come again?—”
My patience had snapped. He was playing checkers with someone who played chess, and I was ready to wipe all his pieces off the board. “I won’t let you destroy my country. I won’t let you burn my city. And I won’t let you rape and enslave my women.”
His eyes narrowed with his frustration. “Then you have chosen death.”
“My power and alliances reach much further than you know, Ivan. But you will know soon enough.”
His eyes flicked back and forth between mine. “And if you’re wrong, not only will you pay the price, but so will that pretty fiancée of yours.”
I stilled at the threat, the line he never should have crossed.
“Too late, Butcher.” He smiled. “My offer has expired.”
When I got into the back seat of the car, Luca tried to hit me with questions.
But I cut to the chase first. “Fleur needs to go into hiding. Get a team together. Now.”
“I guess that tells me everything I need to know.” He started making calls and shooting off texts.
I started doing the same, calling in favors to allies near and far, one of them being the Skull King. I’d been taking his drugs through Paris to the Scandinavian countries. He didn’t have a lot of power in Paris, specifically, but he had a lot of power, nonetheless.
When I arrived at the house, I walked into the bedroom and saw Fleur was dead asleep.
It was three in the morning.
I didn’t want to wake her to this news, but I didn’t have the time to waste. Perhaps Ivan knew that was how the conversation would go, and he already had a plan to hit me and Fleur within minutes after the meeting.
“Sweetheart.” I stood at her side of the bed and gently rubbed her arm.
“Mmm?” She didn’t open her eyes. They were clenched shut, trying to hold on to sleep.
“Sweetheart, I need you to wake up.” I flipped the sheets off her.
Her legs immediately tightened toward her chest when she felt the cold.
I gave her a gentle shake.
She finally opened her eyes and looked at me, her eyes taking a moment to focus. “Babe?” She said it with a scratchy voice, a beautiful whisper.
I loved it when she called me that, and now I was afraid I would never hear her call me that again. “I need you to get up and pack a bag.”
“Pack a bag…?”
“Yes.”
She seemed to understand that this was serious, that I wasn’t waking her up because I missed her or I wanted to fuck, but because something had gone wrong. “What’s happened?” Now she was out of bed and on her feet, her breathing uneven once she understood the danger.
“Shit is about to go down, and I need you out of here. The guys are going to take you to a safe house until it’s over.”
She blinked like she didn’t understand a word of that. “But I want to stay with you?—”
“You can’t.”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“You are.”
“You said you would always protect me.”
“And that’s exactly what I’m doing. Get dressed and pack a bag. Now.”
She breathed hard like she’d been on a run rather than sound asleep. She looked like she wanted to argue but didn’t. Instead, she rushed off to throw her shit into a bag.
I got a call and answered immediately.
“The guys are downstairs for Fleur.”
“She’ll be there in a minute,” I said before I hung up.
Fleur did as I asked, just threw a couple things inside and didn’t try to coordinate outfits or take nonessential things. She zipped up the bag on the bed then put on jeans and a sweater. She didn’t even brush her hair.
When she came back to me, she was winded from both exertion and anxiety. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to leave.”
“Sweetheart.” I cupped her face and held her close. “I’ll get you as soon as I can.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening.”
I didn’t want to tell her the truth. Didn’t want to scare her when she was already scared. “I have to take care of something, and I can’t do that and worry about you at the same time. It’s only for a short while. You’ll be okay.”
“It’s not me that I’m worried about.” She looked at me with her teary eyes. “If I have to leave, then I know it’s bad.”
“I’ve had bad before, and it’s always been okay.” But not bad like this, when some asshole thought he could come into my city and take it from me. Could turn my allies against me and knock me off my feet. “But I have you now, and everything is different.”
Tears sprang free.
I couldn’t comfort her more than that. “We have to go.” I grabbed the bag off the bed, took her hand, and we headed downstairs to the driveway behind the gate. Two SUVs were already there, the first one to take Fleur to the safe house. I opened the back door, tossed her stuff in the back, and then helped her inside.
She looked like she wanted to cry again.
I wanted to comfort her, but I wanted to protect her more, so I didn’t linger. “I love you.” I cupped her face, and I pressed a kiss to her forehead and kept it there, holding her for possibly the last time.
I didn’t let go until I heard her say it back.
“I love you too,” she said tearfully.
My hand slipped out of her hair, and I closed the door before I knocked on the back of the car, telling the guys to go.
They drove away, and I headed to the next SUV and got into the back seat. “The warehouse.” The car left the roundabout. But in the rearview mirror, I noticed another SUV pull up behind me. They rolled down the windows, and the guards talked to the driver and passenger.
Maybe Luca was in there.
The car Fleur was in turned on the road and headed toward the edge of the city.
It was in that moment that I questioned everything. Instead of dealing with this maniac, I could have slipped into bed beside Fleur and watched her sleep. I could have woken up with her and taken her to breakfast. I could have a normal, peaceful life—but I chose this.