Chapter 6
CHAPTER
SIX
AVA
“Let’s go through your options,” Doctor Simons says. “As we discussed before, egg freezing while possible isn’t something I’d recommend at your age.”
She’s been very kind, but the way she carefully forms her words tells me I’ve probably waited too long to do this. “I understand,” I say. “And I don’t want to wait anyway. I’m ready for this.”
She nods. “First of all, I want to tell you that the options for single women aren’t all that different than for couples who come to us.
Especially if the male partner is infertile for any reason.
We treat you exactly the same and try to make your experience with us as tailored to your needs as we can. ”
I smile, because I’d read exactly that on their website. That’s why I’d chosen the New Dawn Clinic. That, and the fact that it’s just outside of Charleston, so hopefully nobody will see me coming in and out of the building.
It’s not that I’m embarrassed, it’s that I take a while to process things. I want to keep this to myself – and my friends – until I’m ready to share. It’s private and personal and I’d like to keep it that way.
“Let’s start with the whats, and then we’ll go onto the hows,” Doctor Simons continues.
“The first option is Intrauterine Insemination. Or IUI for short. This involves placing semen directly into your uterus via a soft catheter. It’s quick and relatively painless.
I’ve had clients compare it to having a pap smear. ”
She smiles at me, and I nod to show her I understand.
“IUI is the first method I’d propose for you.
If that doesn’t work, then our next step would be IVF, In Vitro Fertilization.
This involves extracting your eggs and fertilizing them in the lab, once viable, they would be implanted into your uterus.
This is more invasive, obviously, but we do everything we can to make it as pleasant an experience as possible.
We have good success rates with this.” She tips her head to the side.
“But let’s go back to IUI. You have options within the procedure that I’d like to discuss with you.
You don’t need to make any decisions today, but I want you to have all the information to think over. ”
I breathe a sigh of relief, because this stuff is difficult.
I’ve never really been sick. The only time I see my doctor is for my annual checkup.
Making decisions has never been my strong suit.
It was hard enough to make the decision to come here, that I didn’t even think about all the ones I’d have to make afterward.
And for the next eighteen years.
“The first thing to consider is whether you want a known or an unknown donor.”
“What’s the difference?” I ask.
“A known donor is somebody you know who has agreed to donate sperm. An unknown donor would come from a sperm bank. There are pros and cons to both, as well as legal implications to consider if you choose a known donor.”
“I don’t know anybody I’d want to ask,” I tell her, relieved that at least one decision could be easily made.
“That’s fine. We have an extensive collection of sperm in our bank.”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, because all I can imagine is Lauren and Sophie’s laughter when I tell them about the extensive collection. “Of course,” I manage to say.
“Our donors’ education and other achievements are available, so you can choose the kind of sperm you’d like.”
Okay, they’d be rolling around on the floor now. Damn my imaginary friends.
“That sounds good,” I squeak.
“The final thing to think about is where you’d like the procedure to take place.”
“Wouldn’t it happen here?” I ask, confused.
“That’s one of your options. But we’re finding that a lot of our people prefer in home inseminations. One of our team would come to your house and carry out the procedure, then leave you in your bedroom.” She gives a little laugh. “It’s the closest we can give you to the real thing.”
I want to ask if they’ll hold me afterward, but I don’t think Doctor Simons would find it very funny.
“Are there any other options?” I ask.
This is so weird. I mean, I know it’s a medical procedure, and I’d thought through what I wanted, but hearing the exact details – and options – is making me feel strange. Not just that it’s all becoming real, but that it’s all so clinical.
And if I’m honest, it’s not how I thought having a baby would be. I blame romance novels, along with TV shows and movies. They make getting pregnant seem so easy. A girl only has to look at a guy and she’s knocked up. It’s so rare that you see them struggle, or have to search for medical help.
As though she senses my unease, Doctor Simons puts her pad down and looks at me.
“Of course there are. Many women prefer to try as naturally as possible. Have the frozen sperm delivered to their houses and then inseminate themselves using what we call ICI – intracervical insemination. It’s much cheaper, of course, and feels less intrusive.
And if you do it the right way, the chances of becoming pregnant are similar to having one of our nurses perform the procedure. ”
“How would I do it myself?” I ask, a huge imaginary turkey baster coming into my mind.
“There are kits available. We can prescribe them but really the best place to go is somewhere like . It helps you keep cost down because all you’re paying us for is the sperm.”
Okay then. “There’s a lot to think about,” I say.
“Yes, there is,” she agrees. “But try not to feel overwhelmed. I’ll email you links to our informational brochures which you can read over at your convenience. And when you’re ready, we can send you information about our donors and you can start to make some choices.”
“Thank you.” I take a deep breath. Yes, it’s overwhelming but it’s also exciting. And really, the way I get pregnant isn’t as important as actually having a baby. I make a mental note to look at because who knew they sold insemination kits?
When the appointment is over, I walk out into the late afternoon warmth and get in my car, immediately calling Lauren. I choose her over Sophie because I know that the bakery shuts at four, whereas Sophie’s work usually ramps up at this time.
“How did it go?” Lauren asks as soon as she picks up.
“It was good. I think.” I take a deep breath as a wave of emotion washes over me. “But there are so many options. I need to think about how I want to do this.”
“What kind of options?”
She listens carefully as I take her through everything Doctor Simons told me. “? Seriously.” A moment later she laughs. “Oh yeah, there they are. They have thousands of reviews.’
“Wow.”
“You should come to the bakery,” she suggests. “I’ll make you some coffee and you can stuff some cake down your throat and we can talk about what attributes you want the donor to have.”
“I can’t.” I grimace. “I have to go back to the office. I need to catch up on the work I missed.”
“Can’t you give yourself a break, this is tough stuff?”
“No, it’s fine.” I imagine Myles’ face if I don’t go back and finish the reports he asked to have completed for first thing tomorrow. I can’t do them at home because half the information I need is in the filing cabinets, thanks to Richard’s allergy to technology. “I just wanted to get it all out.”
“Let’s go out tomorrow instead,” Lauren suggests. “We’ll get hammered while you still can. Dance with some inappropriate men, drink all the cocktails, regret it in the morning…”
I laugh. “Sounds good.”
“Meet you at The Hole in the Wall at six?” she asks. “I’ll message Sophie to join us.”
“Perfect.” She’s such a good friend. And as I drive back to the office, the sun peeps out from behind a cloud and everything feels like it’s falling into place.