Chapter 7 #2
She grins at me. “I’m glad you are. I like knowing you’re there.”
This woman is heartwarming. No wonder my brother snapped her up.
“Oh,” she says. “I have something to give you.” She leans over the kitchen counter and rifles through some papers, pulling out a small envelope. “Your invitation to next week’s ball.”
I take it from her and pull the card out. It’s embossed with gold. Expensive. “I’d forgotten all about that,” I murmur.
“You can still come, can’t you?”
I smile at her. “Of course.” Myles thinks it’ll be a great way to meet prospective investors.
He's probably right. The venn diagram of people with money to invest and people who go to expensive charity auctions is a very tight one. It’ll mean flying again next Friday because I have meetings in New York the day before, but it’s do-able.
I make a mental note to get my tux dry cleaned.
“Good. Because it’ll be boring without you.”
“Don’t let Myles hear you say that,” I tell her, but she’s right in some ways. I know how to have a good time, whereas he always finds it harder to relax. I spent most of our childhood being sociable enough for the both of us.
“Are you planning on bringing a date?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Nope.”
“Oh that’s right. Sophie said…” she trails off, looking alarmed. My chest immediately tightens.
Does she know about what happened between me and Sophie?
“What did Sophie say?” I ask.
“It doesn’t matter,” Ava says quickly.
“Yeah, it does.” I look at her carefully. “What did she tell you?”
Ava swallows and I immediately feel like an asshole for cornering her. But Sophie and I made a pact. We wouldn’t tell anybody.
Has she broken it?
Part of me is annoyed because it was her that insisted. But the other part is annoyed because I don’t want Ava thinking badly of me. I value her opinion. She’s more than a sister-in-law, she’s a friend.
And I don’t have many of those.
“She said that you don’t spend more than one night with a woman,” Ava said softly. “She didn’t mean any harm by it. She was just explaining why you and she wouldn’t be a good match.”
I swallow hard. “She told you that?”
“Yeah.” Ava looks embarrassed.
“I guess you think I’m some kind of Casanova, huh?” I shift my feet, feeling awkward.
“No.” She shakes her head, sympathy softening her gaze. “I just thought it was… I don’t know, sad I guess.”
My chest loosens. “You don’t need to worry. I don’t feel sad.”
“I just don’t understand why you’d have that rule.” She looks up at me.
This one’s easy. “Because nobody gets hurt this way. Relationships always end in tears and I don’t like it.”
“Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman,” Ava suggests, with hope in her eyes. And I realize something. Myles hasn’t told her about my past. I’m glad of that, because I don’t need her to look at me differently.
“If she was the right woman I definitely wouldn’t want to hurt her.”
She still looks sad though. And I hate that. “Relax,” I tell her. “I’m happy. I enjoy my life. And I make sure everybody around me enjoys it, too.” That’s what I like. That’s what I’m good at.
“Okay.” She smiles at me. “I’m glad you can come next Saturday anyway.”
“Me too.”
Charlie chooses that moment to start crying. Ava scoops him up and holds him against her chest and he immediately quietens.
An image flashes into my mind, of Sophie holding Charlie. The way she looked that day at the christening. So pretty. So happy.
Yeah, I wouldn’t want to hurt her either. And I definitely wouldn’t want to be hurt by her.
“I’m going to head back to the bungalow,” I tell her, because I can see Charlie snuffling around her, and it feels like it’s probably time for him to nurse. “You need anything before I go?”
“No, I’m good.” She smiles at me. “Go relax. It’s good to have you home.”
Later that night, I’m sitting in front of my laptop replying to emails in an attempt to make a dent in my overfull inbox.
My conversation with Ava is still playing on my mind.
I’m not annoyed at Sophie for telling her about me – it’s not exactly something I hide – but it’s made me think about Sophie and that night again.
And I’m finding it impossible to get out of my mind.
I wasn’t lying when I told her I wish I’d made her come. I also wish to hell that I remember that night. Damn those cocktails. I never usually drink like that but it had been Myles and Ava’s pre-wedding party.
I guess I got a little bit emotional at the thought of my big brother settling down.
I remember some of the night. Spending time with Myles and our brothers, plus some of his New York friends who’d flown down for the occasion.
Then we’d met up with Ava and her friends – a whole bunch of them because she’s lived here for most of her life.
And she’s just one of those people who everybody loves.
Things get a little hazy after the party died down. I can remember my brothers going on to a nightclub and Myles refusing so I stayed with him. And then I remember getting him and Ava into a car before walking back into the bar where Sophie was trying to settle the tab.
I’d insisted on paying and she’d argued with me about it.
And then we’d ordered another round of cocktails while we finished the argument.
When I won, we ordered more and started talking about dating and how much harder it was in your thirties – or in my case forties.
That’s when I must have told her about my rule.
And then? Nothing. I can’t remember going home with her and I can’t remember sleeping with her. I only remember the next morning.
Somebody like Sophie deserves to be remembered.
I try to reply to another email but I can’t concentrate. Sighing, I get up and pour myself some water and grab my phone.
I don’t really want to talk about this with any of my brothers, but it’s pulling at my brain. So I pull Eli’s number up and he answers right after the first ring.
“Hey, you just caught me. I’m literally walking out to my car.” Eli sounds out of breath and I realize he was playing tonight.
I’d completely forgot and feel bad because I always watch his games. I quickly type into my laptop so I can see the end result.
“Congratulations,” I say.
“Cheers. So what’s up?”
I swallow because I don’t usually talk with Eli about stuff like this. It’s more of a conversation I’d have with Myles.
But he’s the last person who needs to know about my life with Sophie.
“Have you ever drank so much that you were unable to remember what happened the previous night?” I ask him.
“What?” Eli says, then lets out a chuckle before I hear the slam of a door. He must be in his car. “Did this happen to you?”
“Yeah,” I tell him. “I keep trying to think about what happened and it’s all blank. It’s killing me. Do you have any idea how I can make myself remember?” If anybody knows, Eli does. He’s constantly being assessed by doctors.
“The easiest way is to ask the people you were with,” he tells me.
I frown. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? Who was it?”
I swallow hard. “A woman.”
Eli laughs louder this time. “Oh boy. And you can’t ask this woman because…?
“I have my reasons. Do you have any suggestions or do you just want to carry on laughing?” I sound testy, I know that. But this is bugging me.
“How long ago did this happen?” Eli asks, sounding almost sympathetic.
“A while ago.” I don’t want to tell him the exact date. He’s not stupid, he could figure out who I’m talking about.
“So when you woke up in the morning where were you?”
My chest feels tight even after I exhale heavily. “In her bed.”
“And what happened next?”
“She said she was going to get dressed in the bathroom and that I should leave before she came out.” I frown. “I was feeling kind of rough.”
“Dude,” Eli says sharply. “This was all consensual, right?”
“Of course it was,” I snap. “She told me we slept together, it wasn’t good for her, and we would never be doing this again.”
“It wasn’t good for her,” Eli repeats. “You mean you didn’t make her…”
“That’s what she said.”
“Ho boy.” He’s quiet for a moment. “But you always make sure they have a good time. Liam’s rule number one, she always comes first. That’s what you told me when I came to you when we were younger.”
I blanch because it’s true. If a woman’s going to offer me a night with her, I’m going to make sure it’s good for her. No, not just good. Amazing. Unforgettable. I have a thing for making sure she walks away fully satisfied and then some.
I love women. That’s why I’d never get into a full time relationship. They sure as hell deserve better than me.
When Eli was in his late teens he came to me for advice. And I took that seriously, telling him that women needed to be treated with respect. And yes, I know that sounds counterintuitive coming from me, but I have nothing but respect for women.
I don’t sleep with anybody without making sure they’re on the same bandwidth as I am.
Which is why this whole thing with Sophie is driving me crazy. I lost control of the situation and I hate it.
“Look,” Eli says, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts. “I think you gotta just put this thing behind you. Whoever she is has probably forgotten all about you already, right?”
“She definitely hasn’t,” I say.
“Wait. You’ve seen her again?”
I shift in my seat. “Not exactly. She’s ah… a friend of a friend.”
There’s silence for a moment. “Do I know her?” Eli asks, his voice low.
I promised I wouldn’t tell. But she also made a promise and didn’t keep it. Plus I trust Eli like I don’t trust anybody else.
“It’s Sophie.”
“Sophie, as in Ava’s best friend?” His voice lifts. “Oh shit man.”
“Right?”
He clears his throat. “That explains why she hates you.”
“Thank you for that.”
“Just saying what I see. You really know how to shit in your own backyard, don’t you?”
“I drank too much and so did she,” I remind him. “And it’s done now.”
“You’re right. So you move on,” he tells me. “Forget about it. Make sure the woman you sleep with next time gets double the fun.”
“Sure.”
“Dude, you’re worrying me now,” Eli says. I can hear a horn in the distance, and the low rumble of his engine. “This isn’t like you. You’re the fun guy. The life of the party. You don’t brood like this.”
“I know.” He’s right. I need to stop overthinking this. Another horn blasts and I remember my brother’s just won a game and is no doubt on his way to celebrate. “Listen, I have to go. Do me a favor and don’t talk to anybody else about this.”
“Of course I won’t. I just wish I could make you feel better.”
“You have,” I tell him. “Seriously. Thank you for talking with me. I’ll catch up with you soon.”
“Okay, man. Have a good night.”
“You too,” I tell him, ending the call. Then I let out a long breath.
Eli is right. Enough is enough. I’m not going to worry about this anymore. I’m going to go to the event next week, spend some time with my brother and his wife, and find a way to get Sophie out of my system.
I already feel more like the old Liam. Hopefully he’s back for good.