Chapter 23 #2
At five I pack up my bag, including the chocolates that Liam sent over today. He should be en route to Misty Lakes now. He called last night and told me about Eli and Holden traveling with him, and though he sounded grumpy about it I think he was pleased, too.
His brothers are his best friends, I’ve learned that much from being around him and Myles. And everybody needs their best friends.
Which reminds me. I have to type out a message to Lauren, one long overdue. I promised her an update and I haven’t had the chance to do it. To save time, I decide to voice record, hitting send as I walk down the sidewalk toward the historic district, where I’m meeting my dad for dinner.
This is the first time I’m seeing him since our embarrassing encounter, although we’ve spoken on the phone. It still feels awkward but he’s my dad and we need to get over this. I need to see him fully clothed and he probably needs to see me unembarrassed.
“Sweetheart.” He’s early, as usual, and when I walk into Ray’s Steakhouse he stands and embraces me. “Thank you for meeting me.”
He looks tired. And suddenly old. Maybe it’s the lighting in here, I’m not sure. I hug him back and we both take a seat.
“Sophie…” he begins, just as I blurt out, “I’m sorry.”
We both laugh and then I gesture at him to go first.
“Darling,” he says. “I should have warned you about Jenny. I wasn’t expecting you two to meet that way.”
“It’s okay,” I reassure him. “You’re an adult. You’re both single, what you do is your business.”
The waiter arrives to take our orders and we give them quickly. We’ve been coming to this steakhouse since I was tiny. Every birthday was celebrated here growing up. I used to go crazy for their milkshakes. Now I’m ordering a cocktail to give myself some Dutch courage to talk to my dad.
“It has something to do with you, too,” he says. “You’re my daughter. And it doesn’t matter how old you are, you’ll always miss your mom.”
My throat goes tight. He’s right, I do. Every day. I miss her warmth, her soft hugs, the way she smelled.
“I miss her, too,” he tells me. “So much.”
I blink away the tears. “I know.”
“And Jenny, she’s a fine woman. But she’ll never replace her.” He reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “I need you to know that.”
“I didn’t think she would. But it’s okay that you have a girlfriend. Mom’s been gone a while.” And he’s been so lonely. I’ve hated seeing him that way.
“I’d like to say that your mom would have liked her,” he says. “But I’m not sure she would.” He leans forward like he’s about to confess. “Your mom hated ‘new age mumbo jumbo’.” He crooks his fingers into mock quotation marks.
I bark out a laugh. “She did,” I agree.
“And Jenny is really into crystals. And she’s a good woman. And she seems to like me.”
“Of course she does. Why wouldn’t she?” I squeeze his fingers. “You’re a catch. She seemed nice, from what I could see of her.” I widen my eyes and it’s his turn to laugh. And somehow that awkwardness between us melts away.
The waiter brings over our drinks – a beer for dad and an espresso martini for me, and we clink them together the way we used to when I was a kid.
“And you like her, right?” I ask him.
He nods. “She makes me laugh. And we keep each other company.”
“Maybe I can meet her again under better circumstances,” I suggest gently. I don’t want to push it, especially if he’s not in that space, but I want him to know I’m okay with what he does.
He nods happily. “I’d like that. And so would she. She was so embarrassed.”
“Let’s arrange something soon,” I tell him, taking a sip of my cocktail.
I’m only going to drink one tonight. They make them strong here, and I have an early morning to make my way to Misty Lakes tomorrow.
Luckily the waiter brings our appetizers over fairly quickly.
We’ve opted for a plate to share like we always do.
Potato skins and chicken wings plus some cut up vegetables to dip into the blue cheese sauce.
It’s so bad for you but it tastes so good.
“So are you going to tell me why Liam Salinger was with you?” he asks.
I shift in my seat. “We were just spending some time together,” I tell him. “It’s a new thing. We’re just…” I reach for the right words to describe what’s going on between us but they don’t exist.
I don’t want to tell my dad about Liam’s sudden change of heart, or the fact that he is so into me I don’t know what to do about it. My face flushes as I remember the way he took me again and again in my bed the other night.
I take a deep breath. “We’re just seeing where things go.”
“I like him,” Dad says. “He seems like a good man.”
I nod. “He is.”
“And he cares for you, yes?”
I look up at him. “I think so,” I whisper.
“So why do you look so sad?” he asks me.
“I’m not sad. I’m contemplative. As I said, it’s early. Anything could happen.”
His brows knit. “That’s not good, being defeatist about it. This is supposed to be the fun part. You’re supposed to be enjoying it.”
“I am.” I relax my features because I’m aware of how tense they are. “It’s just he has a bit of a reputation. For not settling down.”
“Ah.” Dad nods as though he understands. Thank God he doesn’t know the specifics. “So you don’t trust him to settle down with you either?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. I can’t remember the last time Dad and I were so open with each other. Maybe right after Mom died and we tried to help each other in our despair. But I like this. It feels like we’re equals.
“Him not settling down until he meets the right woman isn’t unusual,” he continues.
I lean in because he might actually have some insight into Liam’s thoughts.
“I saw it happen to a lot of my friends when I was younger. They’d insist they’d never want to have a long term relationship, let alone get married, but as soon as they met the one woman who knocked them off their feet they changed their tune immediately. ”
“You think I’ve knocked him off his feet?”
He smiles. “You’d knock any man off his feet. But yes, I think that man would do anything for you. He kept looking at you during the Christening when he knew you couldn’t see him.”
I don’t bother correcting him that at the Christening we still hated each other.
“And then when you came to my house on Sunday.” He shifts because there’ll always be a slight embarrassment to that situation.
“His eyes kept drifting to your face. He wants to take care of you. I could tell. And as a father I’m okay with that.
” A smile pulls at his lips. “It was the same for me. The moment I saw your mother I knew that I was a goner. I’d fight wars for her, sail seas for her.
I knew she was the one, though she took a little longer to be persuaded.
She was like you in that way,” he says approvingly.
“And I gotta tell you, it made me want her more.”
“Do you feel that way about Jenny?” I ask him.
He pauses for a moment, considering my question. “No,” he eventually says. “And she doesn’t have the same fireworks with me that she had with her late husband. He died a few months before your mom did. But we’re friends and we make each other laugh and at my age I’m damn grateful for that.”
“I am too,” I tell him. And I really am.
He winks and spears the last chicken wing, putting it on the small plate that came with our appetizers. “Then bring him along when you come to meet Jenny. We might as well kill two birds with one stone.”
And there he is. My practical dad. “Okay,” I agree. “That sounds good.”
He finishes the wing and wipes his fingers. “Look at us moving on,” he says. “Taking the future by the balls.”
I laugh because I don’t think I’ve ever heard him use the word ‘balls’ before. “We’re kicking future’s ass,” I tell him.
“I’ll drink to that.” He lifts his beer, and clinks it against my cocktail. “Cheers, sweetheart.”
“Cheers, Dad.” And I smile because things are finally coming together. The submission is in, my dad and I have cleared the air, and tomorrow I see Liam.
Who wouldn’t want to smile about that?