Chapter 29
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
SOPHIE
The drive back to Charleston takes longer than I’d planned.
Mostly because it’s so dark and even with my high beams on I can barely see the twists and turns ahead of me.
I’m also shaking, and my head is so messed up with thoughts of my mistakes, of Liam’s fiancée, of just being a complete failure, that I have to drive slowly to make sure I don’t crash.
A couple of hours in, I have to stop in a rest area. The soft drinks I had earlier have caught up with me, so I wander into the building and visit the bathroom before I find a vending machine that serves coffee.
It’s suitably disgusting, but I hope the caffeine kicks in soon.
When I’m back in the car I finally check my phone. There are no more messages from Michael, so I have no idea whether he will be meeting with legal in a few hours’ time. But there are voicemails from Liam. My stomach contracts as I consider not listening to it.
Ariel must have told him I left. He’ll be annoyed even though I did the right thing.
As soon as I connect to my voicemail I hit one to listen to his message.
“What the hell is going on? Call me. Please. You said you trusted me.”
My heart clenches. I did. I do…
Do I? I blink, unsure who I trust. Maybe not even myself.
It’s the middle of the night and I have no idea if he’s asleep or not. I mean, he should be, everybody should be. It gives me an excuse not to call him.
So instead I send a message.
I’m sorry. I messed up. I’m an idiot. I’ll explain tomorrow if you’re still talking to me. – Sophie
I’ve barely hit send before my phone starts to ring, his name on the screen. With shaking hands, I accept it.
“Hello.” My heart is racing. I don’t feel good.
“Why did you leave without telling me?” His voice sounds wrong. Like he’s almost broken.
“There’s a work problem,” I tell him, still hedging around the facts. “I need to be in Charleston.”
“That doesn’t explain why you didn’t find me and tell me,” he says hoarsely. “I would have gone with you.”
“It’s your mom’s birthday. You couldn’t have done that. And you didn’t need to, this is my problem.”
He’s silent for a moment. I can hear the blood rushing through my ears. “You still don’t trust me, do you?”
I swallow hard. “I do…”
“No, you don’t. If you trusted me you would have found me. We would have been a team, facing this together. You ran, Sophie. You ran because you’re scared.”
“I am scared,” I whisper. “I’m scared of losing my job.”
“You should have told me!”
I try to answer him, but he’s right. I should have. I should have done a lot of things. “I’m sorry,” I say again, because my heart is starting to hurt.
“Ariel told me you know about Marie.”
I can’t talk about this. Not now. “It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “That’s not why I left.”
Not even if you loved her more than you could ever love me. Not if she got the best of you. The Liam who was young and carefree.
“It’s part of it though, isn’t it?” he asks. It’s like he’s reading my mind. “It confirmed to you that you’re on your own. That we’re not in this together.”
“Liam…” I can’t think of what to say. I can’t think of anything. “I’m so sorry.”
“Where are you right now?” he asks.
“At a rest stop about an hour from Charleston.” Probably two at the rate I’m driving.
“You’re at a rest stop on your own?”
“Yes, I needed a break.”
“Do you have no fucking sense of self-preservation?” he asks me. “It’s not safe there. You need to get home.”
“Liam, we need to talk.”
He laughs but there’s no mirth there. “Oh, now you want to talk? No. You need to drive.”
“Can we talk tomorrow?” I ask him, feeling desperate.
“Just go do whatever you need to do,” he says, and there’s pain in his voice. “Don’t worry about me.”
“I do worry—” I stop talking when I realize he’s ended the call. My heart feels like it’s about to burst. Like it’s too big for my chest, rattling against my ribcage. It takes a concerted effort to breathe.
Broken. That’s how he sounded. And it’s my fault. He’s right, I should have trusted him. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
I thought he was the one who needed to change, but maybe it was me all along.
That thought bounces around my head for the rest of the drive home.
It’s eerily quiet when I walk into the station stupidly early the next morning, having gone home only to shower and put on my work clothes.
Even the security guard looks bored. We run on a skeleton crew overnight, making sure the networked shows broadcast smoothly.
But there are still a few people in the news office and the sports room, getting a head start for the first broadcast of the day.
Michael looks up when I walk in. “I thought you were in Virginia,” he says, frowning.
“I came back. To sort things out,” I tell him.
“There’s nothing you can do,” he says. “Donald is coming in at ten to meet with legal. They’ll take it from there.”
“Can I come to the meeting?” I ask.
He lets out a huff. “No. It’s a management meeting. If we need your input we’ll ask for it.”
“But it’s about me. I should be there to explain exactly what happened,” I tell him. I need to be in that meeting. I don’t trust him to stand up for me.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?” he snaps. “I need to get ready for the morning news. If you’re staying here – which is without pay by the way – do me a favor and load up the forecast on the website.”
I nod because at least it’ll give me something to do while I wait.
I spend two hours messing around on the website and kicking my heels, counting down until the meeting. At half-past five, Michael knots his tie and pulls on his sports jacket and checks himself in the little mirror at the side of our office, then heads out to the studio without even saying goodbye.
I look up at the monitor we always have running. The credits roll and then Dan comes on, his mouth moving though the television is on silent so I can’t hear what he says.
The camera switches to Michael. He gives an all-American grin to the screen as though he hasn’t a care in the world. Ugh, I hate him. He hasn’t had much more sleep than me but he looks so much better. I swear he’s running on pure venom right now.
Half an hour later, my phone starts to ring. It’s a group call and I see Ava and Lauren’s name at the top.
“Hey.” I put it on speaker because there’s nobody else here.
“Don’t hey me,” Ava says. “I’m angry with you.” Her voice softens. “No, I’m not really that angry. I’m worried. Why did you leave without telling me?”
I blink. I’m not going to cry again. I’ve already used up way too many tears. “I messed up,” I tell them. “I think I might lose my job.”
“What happened?” Lauren asks. I can hear the noise of her bakery behind her.
“Shouldn’t you be opening up?” I ask her.
“I have twenty minutes. And even if I didn’t my best friend comes first. So spill. Tell us everything.”
So I do. I let it all go, embarrassed as I am. I don’t sugarcoat it because these are my best friends.
“Oh sweetie,” Ava says. “I wish you’d come to me last night.”
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I panicked and thought I needed to be here at the station. I need to explain everything to Donald. Face to face.”
“And have you?” Lauren asks.
“He’s not here yet,” I tell them. “And Michael won’t let me come to the meeting he’s scheduled for ten this morning.”
“Ugh he’s a rat bastard. You want me to put a hit on him?” Lauren asks. She sounds vaguely serious.
“No, I just want to be able to plead my case.”
“Have you heard from Liam?” Ava asks.
“I spoke to him a few hours ago. He was angry.” I bite my lip. “I shouldn’t have walked out on him either.”
“No you shouldn’t,” Ava says. “But you were upset. Did you talk to him about Marie?”
“Who’s Marie?” Lauren asks.
I let out a lungful of air. “Liam’s dead fiancée.”
“What?” she shouts.
“I’m as surprised as you are,” I say softly. “Ava, did you know about her?”
“No. Apparently they don’t really talk about her. Liam moved on and that was that. But I know now. Myles spilled the beans when I threatened to chop his balls off.”
“What did he tell you?” I ask her.
“Don’t you think you should let Liam explain?” Ava asks softly. “It’s not really my place to tell you.”
She’s right. But it hurts my heart to think about Liam having to tell me this. Not just because it’s something he’s hidden from me, but because I hate that it must have hurt him so badly.
Enough to make him swear off relationships. To become this happy guy on the surface but underneath he must have been in so much pain.
I love him. And yet there’s a side of him he’s hidden from me. That hurts, too.
“He’s a good guy,” Lauren says. “He obviously adores you.”
“He does,” Ava agrees. “He was in pieces when you left last night.”
Guilt washes over me. I need to talk to him. To apologize. To explain the panic I had when I saw where I sent that email. The knowledge that Michael would use it to screw me over.
The fact that I was afraid of losing him. So I ran.
“I need to go,” I say softly, because it’s getting hard to breathe. “There’s so much to do.”
“Of course,” Ava says. “Call us once that meeting is over and you know the results. We’re here for you, honey.”
“And if you need me I can be there in ten minutes,” Lauren tells me.
“You have a bakery to run,” I remind her.
“Bakery shmakery. You’re my friend, you come first. Always.”
I’m so lucky to have them. “Thank you,” I whisper, because if I say anymore I might cry.
“Hang in there,” Ava says. “It’s going to be okay.”
The problem is, I’m not so sure it will be.
From: [email protected]
To: LiamSalinger@
Subject: Your weather forecast
Dear Liam,
The sun will shine all day in both West Virginia and in Misty Lakes. Temperatures will top out at the mid-eighties and the humidity is moderate for this time of year.
There’s no rain in the forecast and tomorrow is shaping up to be just as glorious.
And I’m sorry.
So sorry.
I know you don’t want to talk to me right now. But I need to talk to you. Please call me when you get a chance.
Be safe.