Chapter 24
I spent the evening back in the Harbour Bar, just beside the marina, a short walk from the village.
It was Tuesday evening and so things were quiet, but I sat indoors, because I wanted to catch up on my Boston emails.
I was placed at the corner of the room, at the end of a long table, where I had a glorious view of the boats but also had enough room to spread out.
Each table had flickering candles and the place was full of people, some on dates, a group of women laughing loudly, ordering more bottles.
I ordered a large glass of wine and a plate of cheese and biscuits because I was absolutely starving.
And so, laptop out, my swimsuit in a bag at my feet, I caught up with my work from home.
While sipping on a glass of red, I checked through emails, wrote a pitch, read over some of Tara’s work, and I felt thoroughly connected and involved, as though I was still in Boston.
My phone rang. It was Mom. ‘Kerry-Anne? Hello, honey, where are you?’
‘A sailing club!’ I tried to keep my voice low. ‘I’m having a glass of wine.’
‘A glass of wine?’ Mom, who was very partial to one herself and had been known to have one too many, sounded horrified. ‘Who with?’
‘On my own. I’m working.’
‘Working and drinking wine?’
‘It’s called multitasking.’
‘If you’re an alcoholic.’ She sighed and then conceded, ‘I suppose, you are on vacation.’
‘Supposedly. And I’m going sailing tomorrow. With Henry. And swimming first thing.’
‘It sounds almost like a proper vacation,’ said Mom, sounding surprised.
‘You know something, Kerry-Anne, I am relieved. I mean, I have Mitzi breathing down my neck about Audrey’s wedding and now she wants another dress, a cocktail dress for the wedding rehearsal dinner rehearsal.
I said, Mitzi, you don’t think you’re overdoing it, do you?
And she said, “Well, it is a royal wedding and this is what Europeans expect.” Now, to your own wedding.
I was thinking of a long veil, what do you think?
Walk up the aisle to Handel’s Messiah… which reminds me, we will need to book St Patrick’s as soon as we have a date… ’
‘Mom, please. No cathedral. No veil. I couldn’t bear it. I was thinking City Hall, nice jacket and dress.’
Mom gasped. ‘No veil? Please let us have something nice…’
‘Mom, you wear the veil.’
There was a pause. ‘I just might. I mean, one of us has to.’ She laughed then. ‘I’m just excited, that’s all.’
‘That makes one of us,’ I mumbled.
‘What was that?’
‘Nothing! Mom, have you spoken to Granny Annie?’
‘Yes, just earlier. She came over and we watched The Golden Girls. You know how much she loves that show. And we went through some of the wedding magazines I have bought, and we talked about you and about Johnny, like we always do.’
‘It’s just that she was a bit abrupt with me. She couldn’t wait to get off the phone.’
‘She’s not keen on your being in Ireland, I know that.
Perhaps, when you get to her age, you want people you love to be close by.
She asked when you would be home and I told her next week and she seems okay with that.
Johnny’s coming home soon and he said he’d go straight to her from the airport. She just loves us all very much.’
‘So, she’s not ill?’
‘Not that I’m aware of. Look, I’ll talk to you again. Love you.’
‘Love you, Mom.’
I carried on with work for a while and ordered a second glass of wine, and then my phone rang again. This time it was Milhouse. ‘Kerry-Anne?’
‘Milhouse.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Are you still in… Scotland?’
‘Ireland.’
‘Same thing.’
‘Not really.’
‘I should know,’ he insisted. ‘My great-grandfather was from Scotland. Some place called… Who cares? He’s dead. So, you’re not in Scotland. We’ve established that. But when are you coming home?’
‘You’re missing me, Milhouse?’
He laughed. ‘Fishing for compliments, Kerry-Anne? That has to be another rule. No fishing.’
‘But I like compliments.’
‘But no one likes to give them.’
‘They do.’ I thought of Henry and the kisses of the sun. ‘Mil, do you remember what I wore to your parents’ anniversary party? The one at the country club, you know, your cousin threw up on your loafers?’
He sighed. ‘Braxton’s an idiot…’
‘What was I wearing?’
There was silence. ‘Is this a trick?’
‘No, simple question. What was I wearing?’
‘A dress? You were wearing a dress.’
‘What colour was it?’
‘Red? Yellow? I don’t know. Why are you asking me? I don’t notice what people are wearing. I have clothes blindness. And why are you asking me about what you were wearing to an event eighteen months ago?’
‘It’s just that I dressed up for it…’
‘Right.’
‘And I had to leave hospital to get ready and I stopped off to see Caitlin and show her what I was wearing…’
‘Right…’ He was quieter now, wondering where I was going with this.
‘It’s just that she said I looked beautiful and you didn’t.’
‘Look, Kerry-Anne. If this is what this is all about, that I didn’t say you looked beautiful, then I’m sorry. You probably did. Like I said, I have clothes blindness.’
‘The dress was silver. It was hard to miss.’
‘So sue me! I missed it!’ He sounded annoyed. ‘Look, I only called to see when you’d be back and then I get the third degree about a dress you wore years ago.’
‘I’ll be back next week,’ I said.
‘Good.’
‘I’ve got to go, my wine has just arrived.’
‘Your wine? I thought you were on your own?’
‘I am.’
‘And you’re drinking? That’s what happened to Braxton. He started drinking on his own. Back in college, he was with his frat buddies and then as they all started hooking up and getting married and all that, he began going out on his own.’
‘Are you saying I am going to throw up on your loafers?’
‘You might!’
‘I’ve got to go,’ I said. ‘My Valpolicella is going to get cold.’ I sipped it and the sweetness slipped down my throat, my whole body filling suddenly with Italian warmth.
Caitlin loved a Valpolicella and I wished she was here, instead of having to talk to Milhouse.
I would talk to him next week when I was home. Now he was definitely wrecking my vibe.
‘I don’t know what you’re doing, but you sound like you’ve gone a bit mad,’ he continued, in the same lofty tones. ‘Promise me you’ll be less mad when you’re back in Boston.’ Was he always this supercilious? When had he decided he was better than me?
‘Oh, I might be even more mad, Milhouse.’ I took another sip of wine. ‘I haven’t decided yet.’
‘This sarcasm has to end.’
I couldn’t resist. Maybe it was the effect of the wine. ‘And so does this phone call.’
He sighed again. ‘Enjoy drinking alone, Kerry-Anne. Remember—’
‘Sorry, Milhouse,’ I interrupted, ‘the signal is really bad. What are you saying…?’ And I ended the call and resumed my work and wine sipping.
After talking to Henry about him, I was beginning to think that those rules were far from reasonable and why on earth had I even begun to consider them?
When I returned to Boston, Mil and I would talk, but I wasn’t sure if we would have a deal because all he wanted was one which just suited him, not the both of us.
For the first time, I contemplated life as a single person.
Since Caitlin, I had needed at least the idea of Milhouse to give my life and future form, but now I realised I would perhaps have to go it alone.
But I wasn’t quite ready and I could feel myself shrinking from that idea.
Was a bad relationship better than being alone?
After finishing my cheese and my wine, my work done for the evening, I headed back to the hotel, my new swimsuit in my hand, and slept for eight hours, waking up feeling rested, something I hadn’t felt for a very long time.