Chapter 15
HARDY
“If it isn’t my favorite firefighter,” Bella says, leaning against my open window in the carpool line the next afternoon as Avery hops in the back seat.
“What are you doing later?” I ask.
“I was going to finish sorting inventory. Why?” Her mouth crooks up on one side as she studies my face for clues.
“About that list you texted me… I know it’s your thing and all, but I found this spot while out on a call today.
Even though it’s a school night, it’s the perfect weather for this, and I wanted to take some of the burden off you.
You’ve been doing so much, I figured it’d be nice to plan something for you for a change.
Plus, I don’t know if you’ll find a cooler spot to skate,” I say as her face lights up.
“We’re going skating?” Between the way I pout my lip and the excitement in Avery’s voice, there’s no way she’s going to deny us.
“I would love to.” Bella seems genuinely surprised, and it fills me with pride to know that I did that.
“Yes!” comes a cheer from the back seat.
“Great! We’ll pick you and Isaac up in an hour. Dress warm. Oh, and eat first. There aren’t a lot of food options where we’re going, and I don’t know how late we’ll get back,” I call out as she heads back into the school.
I can’t get Avery to finish her plate on a good night, but right now that’s damn near impossible as she flits around, talking excitedly. It’s all I can do to get her to take a bite before she’s up and spinning around the room again.
When we get to Bella’s, I’m barely in the driveway when she’s out the door with Isaac close behind. He’s holding a giant thermos in his hands as he climbs into the truck behind me.
“Hey, Butterfly,” Isaac says to Avery.
“Hi, Giraffe.”
“Giraffe?” he questions.
“Yeah, because you’re tall and sometimes you have spots on your face.”
I struggle to hold it in, refusing to make eye contact with Bella or I’m going to lose the fight with my laughter. Instead, I look at Isaac in the rearview mirror, and he shrugs.
“So where are we headed?” Bella asks.
“Vixen Lake. You know it? It’s near Dasher Lane, off Prancer Road.” My smile is teasing as I check the rearview.
“Look at you being a comedian. Hardy har har. Oh my gosh, get it? Hardy har har?”
I hand her the phone with the address put in and slowly back out of the driveway. “Just point me in the right direction.”
“Haven’t you figured out that I’ve been doing that this whole time?” Her face turns to mine, and I return her smile as I pull onto the road.
“Are you sure there’s a lake out here?” Avery asks as we climb the steep gravel road. It’s a struggle to keep from sliding around, and I’m suddenly glad we took my truck.
“There is. It’s a little bit of a haul, but I promise it’s worth it.”
We hit a particularly slick patch of ice and fishtail a little as I struggle to keep control of the vehicle.
“Mom, are you okay?” Isaac asks from the back seat.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, trying to keep the panic out of my voice as I keep my eyes on the road.
“Isaac, sit back and keep your seatbelt on,” she barks, and the hairs on the back of my neck prickle with her tone. Something’s wrong. And then I remember. Her mom, the accident. I put my hazards on and pull to the side of the road.
“Why are we stopping?” Avery whines.
“What are you doing?” Bella asks, sounding out of breath.
“I’ll be right back,” I say as I hop out of the cab and walk around the truck, pulling a bag of salt out of the covered truck bed.
I sprinkle it in front of me as I walk until I’m fifty feet away from the vehicle throwing salt over the rough patch we just hit.
I hustle back to the truck and throw the last of the salt down in front of the vehicle for good measure and climb back in, shoving the empty salt bag under the seat.
“Didn’t want to hit the same patch on the way down,” I explain.
She gives me a watery smile, and I merge back onto the road. We pull into a wooded area a few minutes later. It takes entirely too long to get Avery bundled up. Isaac’s no better, insisting that he’s fine in a hoodie.
We walk down to the edge of the pond, and I remove several pairs of skates from a duffle bag I stowed in the truck bed. She looks at me in confusion as I pass them out. “How did you—”
“Know your sizes?” I smile as she bends to help Avery strap her tiny skates on. “I texted Isaac, and he told me your size and where I could find skates to rent locally. That kid’s a whiz on the computer.”
She finishes tying the skate and then walks over to me, pulling my ear close to her mouth. “You have no idea how bad I want to bang you right now.”
“Because of ice skates?” I ask.
“Because you made magic happen. For me and my kid.” She leans against me to pull on her skates, and I watch as Avery toddles toward Isaac and he helps her onto the ice.
Meanwhile, I try to slow my beating heart.
“I was starting to think you were having second thoughts about us. I probably could’ve just asked you point-blank, but sometimes that’s not how my brain works. ”
Her honesty pierces through my armor and I loop an arm around her waist, pulling her against me. “I’m so consumed with thoughts of you it’s become a problem,” I admit. Then I release Bella, remembering Avery’s words. “There was something I didn’t tell you last night.”
“About Lydie?”
I shake my head. “About something Avery said the other night when I was tucking her in. I asked her if she would be okay with me having a girlfriend, and she asked if that meant she’d have to share me with someone like she shares me with the firehouse.”
“And? Was she okay with it?”
“I… I don’t know. I kind of shut down when she said that and didn’t ask any follow-up questions.”
“If I’ve learned anything about that little girl over the past few months, it’s that she asks a lot of questions.
But it’s because she’s curious about how the world works.
I don’t think she was saying that she wasn’t okay with it.
I think that was her way of processing what could be a big change in her life. You should talk to her about it.”
Lacing up my skates, I mull over her words, but I don’t have much time to think before Bella’s tugging me onto the ice with her. “I’ve never done this before,” I admit as she grips my hands and skates backwards in front of me.
“I can tell,” she says with a laugh, and at this point it’s more her pulling me while I glide along, trying my best not to twist an ankle.
“There are death blades strapped to my feet and I’m freezing my ass off. Not to mention the fact that I’m terrified any one of us will fall through the ice. But I’m doing it anyway…for you.”
Her face lights up in the widest smile. “Aww, you’re grumpy even when you’re being nice. Don’t worry, the lake is shallow, so it doesn’t take much to freeze it solid. And I’ve lived here most of my life and have never heard of anyone going through the ice.”
“Is this where you planned to take us skating?” I ask. I nearly slip, but she stiffens her arms to steady me. It feels good to lean on her for support, as natural as a spark taking to kindling.
“Careful there, big fella. Actually, I’d forgotten about this place until you mentioned it today. I haven’t been here since I was a kid. My plans would’ve had us driving out to Denver to go to a local rink.”
I look up as the first snowflake hits my nose and pinch my brows at the darkening sky. Suddenly, the lake is illuminated by strings of Christmas lights hung on posts around the perimeter.
When I look over at Avery, she’s grinning ear to ear, pointing at the lights as Isaac skates behind her, hands on her shoulders, steadying her each time it looks like she’s going to fall.
“This is magical, like something out of a movie,” Bella says, awestruck as she takes everything in.
I clear my throat. “You deserve someone to make magic for you considering how much you do for everyone else.”
Her gaze connects with mine and her eyebrow arches in challenge, so I speak before she can turn it into a dick joke. “I know you think your life’s a disaster and you joke about being a hot mess, but that’s not what I see.”
“What do you see?”
“I see an incredibly selfless woman who would do anything for the people she cares about.”
She shrugs, her grip tightening on mine. “You needed help. I like to help.”
“But who helps you?” I ask. Her eyes drop to the ice, and I worry I’ve struck a nerve. She’s still skating backwards, pulling my clumsy ass along, so I continue. “It feels like I should be doing more. You do so much.”
“You act like you’re doing nothing. You’re building an entire North Pole in the gym.”
“It’s not enough, not considering the entire list of activities you’ve planned for us. I want to help take some of the load off you.”
“I’d like you to put your load inside me.”
My chest vibrates with laughter. It’s a struggle to compose myself, and I look over at the kids for a distraction. I can’t stop smiling at Avery as she squeals and bosses Isaac around.
Bella squeezes my hand. “That’s why I do it, for moments like that. Look at her face. It’s not a burden when you’re having fun. She’s worth it, and you both deserve to be happy.”
Fighting back the guilt, I nod my head. “She is worth it,” I say, my eyes finally meeting hers.
“But so are you. You give so much to those around you and yet you’re so hard on yourself.
You didn’t have to help me, but you did anyway, and I appreciate that, but I want to step up my game.
I may not have all The Santa Rules figured out yet, but I can do more. ”
Her responding smile warms my heart.
We spend another thirty minutes out on the ice before Avery’s teeth start chattering. We take off our skates as Isaac runs to the truck to get the thermos. Each of us have a cup of hot chocolate, and as I drink mine, my mind wanders back to my movie night with Bella.
“Your ears are red, and I can’t figure out if it’s the cold or if you’re having dirty thoughts,” Bella whispers to me. I pull her against me, running my hand up and down her arm to warm her up.
“I’m just thinking about other places I’d like to lick hot chocolate off you,” I say, as my eyes drift down to her cocoa.
“You better not be thinking about putting that anywhere else.”
My brow quirks in confusion.
“I would prefer to not get a UTI, thank you, and if you put that anywhere near my lady parts, that’s for sure what’ll happen. That stuff is just for nipples or book boyfriends, nothing else.” Her laugh is infectious as I pull her closer.
“Um, Hardy?” she rasps against my ear.
“Yeah?”
“Is that your phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
“Not my phone,” I say, pulling the carrot from my pocket.
“Oh my God, was that in there the whole time?” Her voice is teasing as she eyes the vegetable.
“I shoved it in my pocket when I pulled the skates from the truck bed.”
“Can we build a snowman?” Avery asks, running over and snatching the carrot out of my hand.
In unison, everyone looks at me for approval. “I guess we’re making a snowman.”
An unspoken understanding passes between the three of us as we take turns helping Avery make each giant snowball.
Time passes surprisingly quickly, and before I know it, we’ve got a finished snowman with rocks for a mouth and eyes, sticks for arms, and a carrot for the nose.
We snap dozens of pictures at Avery’s request and pile back into the car, carefully making our way down the mountain so we can get home in time for my little girl’s bedtime.
When we pull into the driveway, it hits me that I don’t want Bella or Isaac to leave.
They’ve folded so naturally into our lives.
Now, I just need to talk to Avery, when she’s not so sleepy, and figure out how to ease her mind about us dating.
If Bella can manage work, raising a kid, and seeing me, surely, I can figure out how to do it too.