Chapter 20
HARDY
Aswitch has flipped inside me. After my talk with Avery this morning, I’ve been consumed with thoughts of Bella.
Everything I’ve been holding in for weeks has suddenly come bubbling to the surface the same way a soda fizzes and overflows when you fill the cup up too quickly.
It’s messy and raw, and I’m scared as fuck, but there’s something in her eyes that tells me that we’re going to be okay.
That moment in the truck—when we stared into each other’s eyes—was a turning point for me.
Something about the way that Chuck guy looked at her and the way Amber spoke to her had warning bells going off in my head.
It’s not the same kind of danger I felt when I arrived on the scene of the fire that took Lydie, but it told me that Bella wasn’t entirely safe.
I realize there is nothing I can do to shelter her from the hurtful words or lustful gaze of others, but I want to protect her the same way I want to protect Avery.
Like she’s already part of my heart, part of my family.
And I almost told her. But like a fucking coward, I chickened out. So I forced her to see the sincerity in my eyes, to feel the longing in my touch. If I couldn’t say the words yet, I wanted her to know how I felt in other ways.
Until that asshole kept knocking on our window, ruining the moment.
Now she’s sitting across from me at the kitchen table, squirming in her seat as she shows me how to crease the paper just the right way so it doesn’t wrinkle.
And all I can think about is that crease between her legs stuffed full of my cum.
She keeps biting her lower lip each time she leans forward, and it makes my dick twitch.
I’m in my mid-thirties and I’ve already fucked this woman twice today, yet I feel like I could go another round and still not get enough of her.
And part of me wants to take advantage of this time alone because who knows when we’ll get another opportunity like this again?
I can’t keep leaving Avery with Maggie when I promised not to give up any more time with her.
I already feel guilty about that, but I could justify it because these Santa lessons are for her.
But I don’t want Avery to feel like I’m choosing someone over her.
I would choose them both. And Isaac too.
We empty all the bags we bought today, and when I look at the pile of stocking stuffers, it looks too small in comparison to how big I picture her stocking in my head.
“I might need to get Avery a few more things. I’m not sure that small pile will fill her stocking.”
“Stocking stuffing is a science, but I always recommend erring on the side of too much. Then anything that’s too big or too much can go under the tree. But don’t worry, I got you covered,” she says, as she walks over to a closet and pulls out several bags with little books and trinkets.
These are perfect for Avery, and I’m blown away by how well Bella has figured out my little girl. “How?”
She shrugs. “I saw her eyeing things when we were out the other night with Isaac.”
“But she was with you.”
“Such a man thing to say. Moms have perfected the art of buying their kids gifts under their noses for years. I could coach you on it, but I don’t think it’s a skill you’d master.”
I bite my lower lip and smile when her phone lights up on the table.
We sit in silence as I wrap the last of Avery’s gifts, agonizing over my abysmal creases.
Bella has delicate fingers, but mine are too thick and clumsy to fold the paper neatly on such tiny gifts.
When I hear Bella laugh, I look up, expecting her to tease me for my shitty wrapping, but she’s still staring at her phone.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, nodding at her phone.
“Nothing, just cookie porn.” She says it so casually like I’m supposed to know what the hell she’s talking about. I blink, waiting for her to explain.
She tilts the phone toward me showing off a picture of an older woman biting into a cookie that looks like an elephant trunk, but something is off about the shape. “Is that Principal Adams?” I take the phone from her to zoom in on the cookie.
“Is that an elephant trunk cookie in her hand?”
“Looks like it.” She laughs like there’s more to the story that she’s not telling me.
“What’s cookie porn?”
“It’s just pictures of cookies we send each other. You know, like food porn, but just cookies.”
“Only cookies?” I ask incredulously.
“Only Cookies! Oh my God, that’s genius. I have to text that to her,” she says, snatching the phone back as she types furiously.
“I feel like I’m missing a punchline here.”
“Only Cookies! Like Only Fans, but Only Cookies!”
The front door swings open, and I turn my head as Bella flings her body over the table, like she’s trying to smother a fire.
“Oh good, your tits aren’t out this time,” Isaac says as he kicks off his shoes and walks toward us.
“What are you doing home? I thought you were at your dad’s until tomorrow?” Bella asks, still lying on the table.
“Why are you on the table like that? Ew. Were you guys doing it?”
I hold up my hands like I’m innocent as Bella’s protests fill the air.
“What? No! We weren’t doing anything inappropriate.
We were wrapping gifts, and you scared me, so I flung myself over them to hide them from you,” she says as she slowly pushes up.
“But I already have your gifts wrapped, and you’re clearly not Avery, so I don’t know why I did that.
” She brushes several loose strands of hair out of her face.
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much.” I laugh at my own joke, but Bella cocks her hip, placing a hand on it.
“Whose side are you on, buddy?”
“I like him,” Isaac says, offering me a fist bump as he walks to the fridge. His head pops out for a second as he looks at me. “But only if you promise to never talk about banging my mom.” And then his head is buried in the fridge again.
Bella props a hand on her hip. “So, not that I’m not thrilled that you’re here, but why are you here? Everything okay with your dad?”
He shrugs and his eyes flick to me. I get a sinking feeling in my gut at the way he’s looking at me, like he’s trying to tell me something with his eyes that he doesn’t want Bella to know.
“It’s whatever.” He grabs an apple and bites into it as he surveys the mess we’ve made on the table. “Are you done wrapping?”
“I think so.” She gathers up several empty wrapping tubes in her arms. “I’m gonna toss these in the bin outside before one of you starts a sword fight.”
Damn, I was totally going to swat her with one of those. Once the door closes behind her, I round on Isaac.
“What’s going on with your dad?”
He rolls his eyes. “He wasn’t home. Well, he was when Mom dropped me off, but once his girlfriend showed up, they went out to dinner, so I got a friend to pick me up and bring me home.”
“Does your dad know you left?”
He won’t look at me. “Probably not.”
“Jesus, Isaac. You need to tell him, or your mom.”
“Tell me what?” Bella says from the door, and we both jump. “Are the two of you keeping secrets from me?” Her tone is teasing as she walks in. “Oh, shit you are,” she says with more of a bite.
I give him a look, and he lets out a sigh. “Dad doesn’t know I left.”
“And?” I prompt him.
“And he wasn’t home when I left. Derek’s mom picked me up and dropped me off over here.”
Bella gives me a curious look, and the guilt slams into me.
Isaac sighs as he continues. “And this isn’t the first time he’s left me at the house. But I’m never technically alone there.”
“Because he leaves his kid with his staff instead of actually spending time with him,” she mutters, pacing the kitchen.
“Ever since he started dating Kelsey, he’s never around anymore.” He says it quietly, but I can hear the hurt in his tone.
Bella stops pacing and turns to him. “How long has this been going on, Isaac?”
“A few months.”
“Is this why you don’t want to spend Christmas out there?” she asks.
He looks at me, and I nod for him to tell her. “Yeah. I told Hardy last week.” He gives me a small smile as Bella turns to me.
“You knew?”
“He asked me not to say anything. It wasn’t technically neglect since he was never home alone but even then, there’s no age limit in Colorado for when a kid can be left home alone.
It was really shitty of his dad to put him in that situation, but I figured as long as no laws were being broken, he’d tell you eventually. ”
“Are you mad?” Isaac asks, vulnerability in his tone.
She lets out a long exhale as she walks over to the sink and leans on it.
“I am mad. But not at either of you.” She turns to us, leaning against the edge of the counter.
“While I love that you two are getting along, I don’t like being left in the dark about this kind of stuff. But I’m also glad you have each other.”
“I’m sorry,” Isaac and I say in unison.
“You need to text your dad and let him know you left, and I pray I don’t get an earful from him.”
“But it was my choice. You didn’t even know.”
“Still.” She nods at Isaac, then looks at me. “And you, I’ll deal with later.” There’s a hint of a teasing tone in her voice.
“Please don’t make me go back over there,” Isaac begs.
“Since it’s your dad’s weekend, that’s not up to me.”
Isaac retreats upstairs, head buried in his phone. As soon as he’s out of sight, Bella pulls me into a hug.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask, rubbing her back as she presses her cheek into my chest.
“For being a safe space for my kid. He and his dad don’t always get along, and he doesn’t share a lot with me, but he trusted you. And you kept his trust, even if I don’t like it.”
“I did do that, didn’t I?”
These two have found a place in my heart in such a short amount of time. I’ve lived an entire lifetime without them, but suddenly I can’t imagine not having them in my life, and I’m determined to figure out a way to keep them in it beyond Christmas.