Chapter 28
BELLA
The students were able to attend the last day of school—luckily the fire was isolated to the gym, and since it’s mostly separate from the rest of the building, classes went on like normal.
Well, as normal as the last day before winter break can be with kids who are hopped up on sugar and have no gym to run around in to burn off their energy.
Lucy was able to distribute all the Santa shopping cards so the kids can do their holiday shopping over the weekend. It’s not going to have the same magical experience we created in the gym, but it’ll be close. It’s incredible the way the town stepped up.
Once the last of the kids leaves my room, I gather up my bag, pulling on my hat and coat.
The binder I made for the workshop catches my eye on the corner of my desk, and I run my fingers over it, thinking about all the joy and agony it brought me.
Okay, mostly joy with a little heartache at the end.
But it also brought me Hardy, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
The door to my room swings open just as I finish packing up my bag. “Finally, Isaac. Are you ready to—” I look up and am surprised to find it’s not my son standing there.
Amber shuffles her feet, looking down at the floor. “I owe you an apology,” she mumbles as she picks at her nails.
“For what?” I ask, walking over to her as she leans against the doorframe.
“For ruining Santa’s Workshop for you,” she says softly.
Inside my head I’m screaming, “I knew it, I knew you sabotaged me!” but when I examine her face, she swipes at her nose and then rubs along her forehead like she’s trying to shield her eyes from me.
I instantly recognize the guilt, and I know that she had nothing to do with this.
Just like I had nothing to do with my mom’s accident, yet I still blamed myself, just like she’s doing now.
“You can thank Chuck for getting drunk and passing out with a lit cigarette. The fire wasn’t your fault.”
“It kinda feels like it was.”
She doesn’t offer more, so I stare at her expectantly.
“I asked him for a divorce. The night we were setting up Santa’s Workshop.”
“Is that what you two were fighting about?”
She nods as she shifts, visibly nervous. “Look, I don’t have my life all figured out like you.”
I stifle the laugh building inside of me. For once it seems like she’s being genuine and not poking at me.
“You have all these friends, and your kid likes you. And now you have this great guy who seems to really care for you, and I was jealous. I know it may seem like I have this amazing life, but it’s all for show.
It’s a house of cards that is a light breeze away from collapsing.
The truth is that things in our marriage have been awful for a while even before Chuck got drunk that night and talked about your past. And I know what he said wasn’t your fault, but I was embarrassed, and I took it out on you.
I kept thinking that if everyone kept talking about you, no one would notice the disaster our marriage was. ”
“That’s really shitty of you, Amber,” I say, crossing my arms.
“I know and I’m sorry.” Her face is so sincere as her brows knit, and she clasps her hands in front of her.
“I forgive you. I know it’s not easy to admit all this.”
“And then you and Jake divorced, and I felt even worse, but again the focus wasn’t on me and my crappy marriage.”
“No, it was on mine.” I let out a sardonic laugh. “But Jake and I didn’t end our marriage because of all the stuff Chuck said at the bar that night. It was a long time coming. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that either.”
“He drinks a lot, ya know. And I told him that I was done.”
“Good for you. You deserve better than that. No one deserves to be around that.”
“Right. Well, he didn’t like that. Once Hardy dropped him at home, he drank more. And when I didn’t come home, he stayed up drinking all night and ended up in Santa’s Workshop when he came looking for us at school the next morning.”
“You are not responsible for his actions,” I say, looking into her eyes. “And it takes guts to admit all of this to me. It’s brave, and you should be proud of that.”
“It doesn’t feel brave. I feel like a hot mess. I feel like everyone’s talking about me and what a total shit show I am.”
“You wanna know a secret? We’re all shit shows.
Some days we’re a massive dump, and then other days we’re all backed up and it just looks like we’ve got it together.
And some days smell worse than others. But at the end of the day, everyone poops.
And we can point out the size, shape, and color of each other’s turds, but we all make turds.
” I smile to myself, kinda proud of my profound poop analogy.
“Okay, why does that make so much sense?” she says, laughing.
“Because everyone poops.” I wiggle an eyebrow at her, and she smiles.
“You’re really weird.”
“Thanks?”
“But I like you.”
Before we can braid each other’s hair around the proverbial campfire, Isaac walks up behind her and clears his throat.
“I’m coming,” I jokingly grumble before turning back to Amber. “Are you going to be okay? Do you need a place to stay? You’re always welcome at our place.”
“We’re good, actually. We’re staying at my mom’s, but that’s really sweet, especially after I’ve been so awful to you.”
“We still have six days till Christmas. It’s never too late to make it onto the nice list.”