Chapter 16 #2
"Aren't you with someone?" I asked, craning my neck to find the blonde waiting in line. She was gazing at the menu board, her fingers pressed to her lips.
"Sara? Am I with her?“ he asked, his eyebrows quirking like I'd asked whether he'd walked in with a flock of sheep.
"No. No, dude, no. She's my buddy's sister.
He lives in Georgia and she just moved to town.
I met her at his wedding a few months ago and told her to get in touch when she got settled.
I said I'd show her a few spots around town.
Completely neutral territory. She's a little too"—he grimaced at the table before finding the words—"high-test. Right?
Like, good people but she says some strange shit.
You, my neighbor, you're all kinds of all right. "
"As fascinating as this is," Rob started, "it sounds like you should probably get back to Sara. I don't think your buddy would appreciate you ditching his sister."
Ben shifted to face Rob. They glared at each other for an unpleasantly long period of time.
It was like the extreme pauses during elimination ceremonies on reality television.
That kind of long and unpleasant. I could've left the table, ordered another box of donuts, returned to the table, and eaten most of those donuts in the time they spent glaring at each other.
The stare-off broke only when another voice sounded over my shoulder. "There you are."
At once, Rob and Ben twisted to scowl at the man standing beside me. "Who the fuck is this?" Ben asked.
"Who the fuck are you?" he replied.
"What the fuck is going on?" Rob added.
"He's not with me," I yelled over the testosterone.
At once, Rob and Ben quipped, "What?"
Patrick pointed at Andy. "Mine." He pointed at me. "Not mine." He shuffled past Ben to join Andy on the bench against the wall. "I've been looking for you for half an hour. The Find My iPhone app is not very accurate around here."
"Say that again without sounding like a creeper," Andy said.
"Can't," Patrick replied. "Won't."
"Should," Andy said.
"Wife," Patrick responded.
"Creeper," Andy challenged. She laughed as he placed both hands on her face and moved in for a quick kiss. "Husbands can be creepers."
"Not true," he whispered. "I looked it up."
I choked back a laugh and busied myself with swiping a dollop of chocolate ganache off the remaining half of that Boston Crème.
Ben glanced to Rob, his hands held open. "Let's call that a small victory, yeah?"
"Yeah, it was beginning to feel like presidential primary season in here for a minute," Rob replied.
"I know, right?" Ben bobbed his head in agreement. "I can deal with you but add another motherfucker to the mix and I'm outta my depth."
"For a second I was thinking, holy shit, how many are there?" Rob remarked. "There's a difference between a 5K and an Ironman, you follow me?"
"Oh, I follow you," Ben said. He extended his fist across the table and bumped knuckles with Rob.
This time, I laughed out loud. There was a snort in there too, and it wasn't cute. Honestly, I didn't understand why these men were fighting—and forging a strange friendship—over me.
"Gigi, what's the deal here?" Patrick asked, wagging his finger between the unlikely duo of men in my life.
"This is Rob. That's Ben." I shrugged. "They're, I mean, they're here. With me. They showed up. I didn't invite them. But they're with me and it's…it's complicated."
"Can we decide right now to make it a lot less fuckin' complicated?" Ben asked.
"Yeah," Rob agreed, pressing his knee against my thigh.
I was sure he interpreted my gasp as a response to him but it was his knee and Ben's hand covering my kneecap at the same time.
That was always the way of it. Rob, then Ben, then me losing my shit.
"Go find Sara and get the hell out of here. No more complications."
Ben shot him an unimpressed glare. "Not what I meant, cocksucker, and I think you know that."
I held my palms out as if holding them both in their corners. "Listen, listen. I cannot handle the two of you at once."
"Thank god for that," Ben murmured. "I don't want to be anywhere near his dick."
It was my turn to shoot the unimpressed glares. I didn't care whether his fingers were tormenting that tender backside of my knee. He was getting the glare. "I definitely wasn't referring to that but thank you, Ben. That was super helpful."
"I don't think she'll have any complaints about my dick," Rob said, tipping his chin up. "She already knows what's under the hood."
Ben swiveled toward me, his eyebrows arched up. "I see I have some catching up to do." His stare dropped to my chest, pawing over my breasts. There was no mistaking the familiarity behind his gaze. "But answer me this: Am I the only one lagging behind? Or am I ahead where it matters?"
Never again was I walking across the street in the middle of the night while wearing a baggy tank top. Or asking a guy for dick pics.
Or anything loosely resembling either of those offenses.
Rob pressed his knee into my thigh. "Magnolia, what the fuck is he talking about right now?"
"Andy, I don't understand what's happening here," Patrick said. "What is this about?"
She handed him a chocolate cake donut, saying, "Just eat this and watch. I'll explain later."
I brought my fingers to my temples and rubbed. "Ben. Rob. It would be cool if you'd both shut up. Just stop talking and don't say anything. That would be perfect."
Ben drilled his index finger against the tabletop. "No, that's not how this is going to work."
I laughed again but this time it was stiff, a little annoyed. I batted his hand off my leg. He put it right back. I knocked him off again and this time, he heard the message. "You're not going to dictate the terms of my social life," I said to him. "That's not one of your options. Try again."
"Date us both," Rob said, sitting back in his chair. He crossed his arms over his chest. The move sent his knee sliding higher up my thigh. "We can't keep getting into pissing contests. If you're not willing to cut one of us loose today, then I propose you date us both for a bit."
"Rob, no," I argued. How could he handle that? It drove him crazy knowing I was helping Ben with his house. I couldn't imagine how he'd react knowing we were seeing each other. And I didn't want to do that to him after he'd discovered his ex was the worst woman on the planet. "That's not fair—"
"It's fair. It is. No secrets, no lies, no hiding. I'm not ready to walk away, Magnolia," Rob replied.
"But, Rob…" My words trailed off. I didn't know what to say. Why was he volunteering for this? Why was he still here? He wanted to forget his ex but instead of finding someone who could help him with that, he was signing up for these shenanigans. I didn't understand it.
"It's not going to be easy," he replied.
"No," I agreed, the word booming out. "You're damn right it's not easy."
"You could get the fuck outta here and make it easy," Ben said under his breath.
Rob kept his gaze on me as he pointed at Ben. "I'm going to rip this antagonistic bastard apart if we don't establish some rules of engagement real fast."
"I want to rip both of you apart and I've been here for ten minutes," Patrick said.
"Shush, sweetheart. We're just watching," Andy whispered.
I gestured toward Ben. Part of me still wondered whether he was all innuendo and no action.
Whether it was a game to him. That I wasn't taking any of his shit or falling for his charms—aside from his forearms—and that was why he wanted me.
That he savored this distraction from the grief rising around him.
His silence during this portion of the discussion was giving me pause. "What do you think about this?"
Ben raked his fingers through his hair and blew out a breath. "I can live with it," he said. "I'd rather you send him on his way right now—"
"I'd rather you go find Sara," Rob interrupted. "What the fuck's wrong with you? Bringing a woman out for breakfast and then leaving her at the door? That's fucking rude."
If I didn't understand Rob, Ben was a brand-new level of incomprehensible. He wanted an escape from dealing with the loss of his grandmother but I couldn't help thinking he'd find himself at the limits of that escape soon.
"Sara is fine,” Ben replied. “Don’t you worry after her.”
All at once, we shifted to put eyes on Sara. She stood at the counter; her back to us while she spoke to the clerk and pointed at pastries in the display case.
Patrick cleared his throat. "Shall we invite her over here?"
"Oh my god," I whispered to myself.
"Patrick, sweetie," Andy started, "we can manage many things but adding another person to this mix might test our capacity." She tipped her head toward Ben. "Are you sure this is where you're supposed to be, young man?"
"Yes, ma'am." Ben bobbed his head. "And no disrespect, but I don't think you can call me 'young man' when I'm thirty-eight."
Patrick pointed at him. "She'll call you the Abominable Snowman if she damn well wants to."
Ben considered this, nodded. "All right, man. All right. And, look. I might be an asshole but I'm not about to do wrong by my buddy's sister."
"I'm glad we've established the facts," Rob murmured.
"Are you required to be a dick all the time?" Ben asked him. "Like, is it part of your fraternity's honor code or something?"
"Now that you mention—" Rob stopped himself when he noticed me staring, eyes wide and lips parted, over his shoulder. He shifted, glancing in that direction. Under his breath, he murmured, "Oh. Wonderful."