Chapter 1 #2
That was partly why we started. I’d noticed her way before things started between us but was trying to do the right thing and stay away.
She worked with my brother, plus, Tally didn’t seem interested.
She was focused and professional, so I just kind of fantasized about her from afar, then I had a really shit day.
We’d lost a cow and her calf, our hay baler had packed up and to top it all my dad had sent me a letter from prison asking me to visit him.
It had messed with my head, since I’d been considering the same thing, as I had questions.
It was like the universe was playing tricks with me.
That evening Lily asked me to bring a casserole over to Tally and when she opened the door, wearing nothing but a t-shirt that just about covered her ass, she’d kind of knocked me off my feet.
When she then asked me why I looked like a wet weekend in winter, one thing led to another.
When I got home later I’d lied, and I told Lily I’d skipped dinner to play cards at the bunkhouse, but the sneaky little grin on her face told me she might know differently.
Back in the present, I set off down the path, automatically stepping over the motion sensors that Gunner had installed since the arson fire of the stables. There was no need to light up the place like the Fourth of July and announce to everyone that I was doing the walk of shame.
Not that there was any shame in what we were doing.
Hell, I’d spent most of my life since I was seventeen perfecting the art of a clean getaway.
I was doing Tally a favor, she got all the benefits of my considerable talents and none of the awkward morning after bullshit or questioning from my family.
The main house loomed ahead and as I skirted around to the back porch I was grateful to see it was in darkness.
No one was up which suited me just fine, meaning I could get another couple of hours of sleep before I had to get up for the start of my day.
I crept through the door with practiced stealth and slowly closed it behind me.
The only sound was the nightly creaks of the house as wood expanded in the warmth.
“Checking fences or playing cards on a weeknight?”
I turned and groaned internally. Of all the people to be sitting at the kitchen island, lit up by her damn e-reader, it had to be Lily. Her emotional radar was sharper than a butcher’s knife.
“Insomnia,” I said smoothly. “What’s your excuse?”
“Billy’s back teeth are coming through. I just got him down again.” She nodded toward the playpen where my nephew was sleeping like he’d been tranquilized.
“Didn’t see him there.” I opened the fridge. “I’ll keep it quiet.”
“Don’t you dare drink from that bottle,” she warned. “I poured a glass this morning and there were pie crumbs in it.”
“Okay, first of all, that wasn’t me. You need to talk to your husband about his backwash problem.”
“He wouldn’t dare.”
“Then maybe Gunner’s been sneaking snacks again.”
She rolled her eyes. “So why are you up?”
“I told you, didn’t I?” I pulled out the milk. “Can’t sleep. Probably need to check the magnesium levels in my blood.”
“Uh-huh.” Her eyes followed me as I reached for a glass, poured, and took a long sip. “Tally got insomnia too?”
I nearly choked. The milk hit my throat all wrong, and I had to swallow twice to recover. “Why would you think I was with Tally?”
Lily raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at my shirt.
I glanced down. Moss green. “I just grabbed the first clean one from the laundry pile.”
“Really. Funny, it’s the same color as Tally’s eyes. Also, what’s funny is that it’s been washed three times this week. You seem to wear it a lot.”
“It must always be at the top of the laundry pile.” I shrugged, not telling her she was right. I wore it because it was the exact color of the eyes that I’d been staring into a lot recently.
“I’m not judging you, Wild,” Lily said, leaning on her elbows. “I’m just wondering when you’re going to admit this thing with Tally you have going on.”
“There’s nothing to admit.” I stared at her. “We live on the same ranch. I see her at work. Doesn’t mean anything.”
She wasn’t buying it. Her smile turned sly. “You can just tell me, you know.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Right.” She picked up her e-reader again but didn’t look at it. “So when Glenn asked her out last week and you broke the feed bucket in half, that was just… coincidence? You weren’t imagining it was his neck?”
“The handle had perished,” I muttered. “And Glenn is all wrong for her. He can’t even keep his work gear organized in the bunk house. The other guys are always complaining about it. She’d hate that.” I chose to forget the mess that was her bathroom.
“Interesting how well you know what she’d hate.”
“She’s Gunner’s assistant. I’ve been around her for months. You pick things up.” I knew I sounded defensive. “I know how she likes her coffee. That she cuts her toast diagonally and that she talks to the horses like they’re toddlers. Doesn’t mean I’m in love…just observant.”
She put her e-reader down and rested her chin on her palm, watching me like she was trying to solve a particularly tricky puzzle. “Wilder, come on, that's an awful lot to know about someone. It’s okay if you care.”
“With all due respect, Lily, I don’t.” I put the glass down, but my fingers lingered on the rim.
I didn’t want to talk about this, but somehow I wanted to keep the conversation going, like standing there arguing meant I still had one foot in Tally’s world.
“We’re not close. We work near each other, that’s all. She lived in this house for a while.”
She didn’t respond right away. Just studied me for a moment, too quiet. Too knowing.
“You know, Tally looked a little... off last week when you mentioned Heather Carson.”
“She was probably thinking about horse feed schedules.”
“She made a joke, smiled like it didn’t bother her, but then she went quiet.”
I shook my head. “You’re imagining things.”
“She’s not just some ranch employee to you.”
“She’s someone I see at work. That’s all.” I said it flatly. Firm. Just enough steel in it to stop her pressing harder. Hopefully.
Lily nodded slowly, but her eyes didn’t leave mine. “Alright, Wild. If you say so.”
She reached over and tapped her fingers against my chest, a gentle pat that somehow landed like a warning.
“Just take care of this,” she said. “Even if you won’t admit it’s in play.”
I didn’t answer. Just turned toward the stairs, her words echoing a little louder than I liked.
As I reached the window at the top of the stairs I paused and looked out over the property. In the distance I could just make out the dark shape of Tally’s cabin.
Was she still asleep? Had she woken to find me gone as she always did? Did she ever wish, even fleetingly, that I’d stayed? I shouldn’t care but I did. The woman who was supposed to be temporary had become permanent in ways that terrified me. She wasn’t just under my skin, she was rewiring my DNA.
“Get it together, Miller,” I muttered, turning away.
I wasn’t falling for Tally Brown. Falling meant I was admitting I was capable of more than being the good time Miller brother. The one who kept things light while the rest of them built their picture-perfect lives.
Yet, as I stripped down and climbed into my cold, empty bed, the scent of her still on my skin, I couldn’t help but wonder why the space beside me felt so conspicuously vacant if it was good sex and nothing more.