Chapter 34
I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing - Aerosmith
Wilder
Watching her put her bag into the back of the truck made me want to puke. It was going to be two nights. That was all. Forty-eight hours. Which meant I needed to stop acting like a pussy and man up.
“I put something in your bag by the way.”
Tally’s amused eyes landed on me. “Please don’t say it’s a sculpture of your penis.”
“No, but now you mention it.” Wiggling my eyebrows, I leaned back against the car and folded my arms. Trying to look like I was chilled, even though I was churned up inside.
“What is it?” She slammed the door and immediately I grabbed her hand, pulling her in front of me.
“My tee. The light blue one. The one you always steal anyway.”
She bit her lip as her chest heaved with a deep inhale. “I nearly packed it but felt like I shouldn’t.”
My chest expanded at the idea that she’d wanted to take it.
It made me realize that maybe it wasn’t just me that had gone all mushy.
“Of course, you should. It’s more yours now anyway, but I did spray it with my cologne.
” I wasn’t joking. I felt like such a dick doing it, but I needed her to remember me.
Her hands went to my waist and her head dropped to rest against my chest. As I rubbed a hand up her back we shared a groan.
“I’ve never felt like this before,” I whispered. “It’s all so damn strange.”
“I know.” Her green eyes met mine, searching and imploring.
“I’ll miss you. Every day.”
I wanted to say more, and knew what I was starting to feel. When I said those words, though, I didn’t want them to be rushed because she was leaving. She deserved more.
“Call me when you get there.”
She grinned. “It’ll take me thirty minutes. It’s a straight road and I’ll be safe.”
“Don’t care, Brownie. I want a phone call. Okay?”
“Okay.” She patted my chest. “Mr. Protective.”
I was and always would be where she was concerned. “You have a tank full of gas. I filled it up for you.”
“Honey.”
God I loved it when she called me that. Had never been the kind of guy who liked nicknames or cutesy couple-y stuff. With her, though, I wanted all of it. Even matching fucking sweaters at Christmas.
“And I checked your tires.”
Laughing she gave me another quick kiss and then sighed. “I should get going. My brother is making his famous chili.”
“Why’s it famous?” I brushed her hair from her eyes, letting my fingers linger on the apple of her cheeks. Staring into her eyes, in awe of the tiny flecks of amber within the moss green.
“Because one it blows your head off and two it’s made of chicken.”
“Chicken chilli? You live on a cattle ranch, you do know we could give you some prime beef for him to use.”
“I know, but he insists it’s the best food ever created. Liam and I only eat it to stop him making his famous lemon pie.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” I asked, laughing.
Tally grimaced and shuddered. “It’s horrible.”
“Okay, you go, and I’ll see you in a couple of days.” I didn’t want her to, but I was being ridiculous. It was two whole days. Nothing more.
Closing the truck door as she got in, I leaned into the cab and gave her a lingering kiss. “Be safe, Brownie.”
She nodded and swallowed, like she couldn’t find the words, or maybe they were stuck in her throat. I knew mine were.
As she drove away, waving her hand out of the open window, my chest went tight and my throat dry. There was so much more to us than friends with benefits and it was getting more each day.
Everyone had been given the day off for Thanksgiving, so there was a lot to do on the ranch before the next day.
Being busy was supposed to help keep my mind occupied but it had been twenty miles away in Sweet Maple Falls.
Tally had called me when she got there but she couldn’t stay on for long because her parents were video calling her brother.
It helped for about ten minutes but then my heart went back to missing her.
Gunner had asked me to help move the new furniture into the kid’s bunkhouse at the camp. I hoped shifting cupboards, beds and tables would help to work out some of the despondency I was feeling.
Rounding the corner to the site my chest swelled with pride for my brother and Cassidy.
It was going to be a great success. We could all feel it.
Their set up was incredible. A huge bunkhouse, which had two large bedrooms, a kitchen/living area and a chill out zone for any kids who needed it.
The bathrooms were pretty swanky with baths and showers that were easily accessible for kids of all abilities.
Attached to the bunkhouse was the schoolroom that Lily and Cassidy would eventually work full-time from, if things went to plan.
The best bit about the whole thing, in my opinion, was the mini theatre where the kids could put on a performance or watch movies on a huge screen that dropped from the ceiling.
“Roped you in, too, hey?”
I turned to see Glenn jogging up behind me, wearing a damn stupid hat that looked like he’d just taken it from the box it came in. It was too damn high on the crown, and it was fucking white.
“Yeah, he wants to get everything set up today.” I was aware that my voice was tight, but I struggled to be any other way with him.
There was something about him. Probably the fact that he seemed to have a thing for my woman.
Taking a deep breath, I inhaled the fresh mountain air, letting it fill my lungs with positivity. Or tried to at least.
As Glenn jogged alongside me I ignored him and continued toward the noise of work and the smell of new wood.
“Where’s Tally got to?”
Glenn really needed to shut the fuck up about her. “Gone home for Thanksgiving.”
“Ah, okay. I saw her leaving this morning. She have far to go?”
“Far enough.” Heat spiraled through my bloodstream, racing around my body because it was too damn far. Don’t know why she couldn’t go in the morning, have dinner with her brothers and then come home.
“I guess it must be strange without her.”
Pulling up short, I fisted my hands at my hips and heaved out an aggravated sigh. “What’s with the twenty questions?”
He held his hands up in surrender, like I’d just thrown a punch at him—pussy. “Just asking to be polite.”
“Well, you don’t need to worry about her. She’ll be gone for a couple of days, but I’ll be sure to pass on your regards when we talk later.”
“Wild, I need you.”
Gunner took my attention beckoning me over to the bunkhouse while a couple of ranch hands helped unload furniture from the delivery truck.
“Go help those guys unload the truck,” I told Glenn as I stalked toward my brother.
By the time I made it back to the house, I was desperate to hear her voice.
Moving the furniture had taken most of the afternoon, and while the physical work had kept my hands busy, my mind had been stuck on repeat—wondering what she was doing, if she was thinking about me, if she missed me even half as much as I was missing her.
The house felt too quiet without the usual chaos of family dinner prep.
Nash and Lily had taken the kids to her mom's, and Gunner and Cassidy were having dinner at the farm restaurant that they liked to go to.
Which left me alone with my thoughts and a phone that felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge and settled into the chair in the lounge, the one that gave me a clear view of the path toward her cabin. I couldn’t see it, but the thought of it empty made my chest ache.
Finally, I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled out my phone and hit her number.
She answered on the second ring.
“Hey, honey,” her voice was soft, a little tired, but hearing it felt like taking my first real breath all day.
“Hey, Brownie. How's the famous chicken chili treating you?”
Her laugh was exactly what I needed. “About as well as expected. My mouth is still on fire, and I think I drank a gallon of milk.”
“Your brother's that bad a cook?”
“Worse. But don't tell him I said that.” There was a pause, and when she spoke again, her voice had that sleepy quality I loved. “I'm wearing your shirt.
My grip tightened on the phone. “Yeah? How's it smell?”
“Like you. Like home.” The words were barely a whisper, but they hit me like a freight train. “I never realized how much I'd gotten used to falling asleep with you there until tonight.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I could reach through the phone and pull her into my arms. “I know exactly what you mean. My arms will feel redundant without you to hold.”
She laughed softly, but there was something else there. Something that didn't sound quite right.
“You okay, Brownie? You sound...I don't know, off.”
There was a longer pause this time. “Just tired. It's been a long day.”
“Your brothers giving you grief about something?”
“Something like that.” Her voice was carefully neutral, which only made me more concerned. “They just... they have opinions about things. You know how brothers can be.”
I did know, but I also knew Tally well enough by now to recognize when she was holding something back. Still, pushing her when she was already dealing with whatever family drama was happening didn't seem fair.
“They being protective? Wanting to make sure I'm good enough for their baby sister?”
“Maybe.” There was a smile in her voice now. “Don't worry, I told them you were adequately house-trained.”
“Adequately? That's all I get?”
“I might have mentioned your exceptional coffee-making skills.”
“Now you're talking.” I took a long pull of my beer, settling deeper into the chair. “What else did you tell them about me and my…skills?”
Giggling she said, “That you're bossy and overprotective and have an ego the size of Texas.”
“And?”
“And that I'm falling for you so hard it scares me.”
The words hung between us, honest and vulnerable, and I felt something shift in my chest. Something that felt too big for my ribs.
“Tally...”
“I know we said we'd take things slow, figure out what this is, but Wilder, I already know. Do you?”
I did know. Had known for a while now, if I was being honest. But saying it felt like stepping off a cliff.
“Yeah, Brownie. I know but I’m scared too,” I said quietly.
“You’re scared? Why?”
My throat constricted. “That I won’t be enough. That one day you’ll wake up and realize you deserve someone who isn’t carrying around a decade or more of daddy issues.” My jaw tightened. “Someone who knows how to do this right and isn’t just winging it and hoping I don’t fuck it up.”
“Wilder—”
“It scares me that I want to be the reason you wake up smiling, but that one day I might fail you.” I pressed my palm against my chest, feeling my heart hammer beneath my touch. I never opened myself up like this, ever. Only my Brownie had the ability to do that to me.
“Then I guess we’ll both be terrified together,” she whispered, her voice a soft caress down the line. “Because I’m scared of all those things too, because you matter to me Wilder Miller.”
She wasn’t professing her love to me. I wasn’t giving her the words either, but it felt more than that. Somehow it felt more honest. More real.
“You matter to me Tally Brown. So damn much.”
We stayed on the phone, both of us silent knowing we were building something worth fighting for. Something we wanted to keep safe.
“Get some sleep,” I finally said, even though the last thing I wanted was to hang up.
“You, too. Sweet dreams, Mr. Miller.”
“Night, baby.”
After I hung up, I sat in the lounge for a long time, staring out at the dark. The house around me felt too big, too empty, too full of other people's lives.
Finally, I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door.
The walk to her cabin felt different knowing she wouldn’t be there, like I was trespassing on sacred ground.
But when I used the spare key she'd given me, because she’d finally started locking the door, and stepped inside, the first thing that hit me was her scent, that mix of jasmine and something purely her that seemed to live in the walls.
I didn't turn on any lights, just made my way to her bed and stripped down to my boxers. Sliding between her sheets felt like coming home. The pillow still smelled like her shampoo, and if I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend she was just in the bathroom, about to come back to bed.
For the first time all day, the ache in my chest eased.
I pulled out my phone and sent her a quick text:
Me
Couldn't sleep in my own bed. Hope you don't mind that I borrowed yours.
Her response came almost immediately:
Tally
You better still be there when I get home.
I smiled into her pillow.
Me
Wouldn't dream of being anywhere else.