Chapter 50
Endless Love – Lionel Richie & Diana Ross
Tally
Every single inch, every bone, every muscle of my body was in pain. Even my eyeballs hurt. My mouth tasted awful. Was I dead? It felt like it.
I tried to lift my arm, but nothing happened. It was too heavy. Everything was heavy. Painful and heavy.
“Brownie.”
The voice close to my ear sounded like Wilder, but if I was dead why would he be there. My heart started racing as panic rushed through my veins. He couldn’t be. Why was he?
In the background a beeping dueted with the drum of my heart, hushed indecipherable words and panicked whispers.
“She’s okay, panic often happens when the patient wakes from sedation. I’m just going to check her vitals.”
I tried to open my mouth, to tell them I was okay. To ask them why Wilder was with me when I was clearly dead. He couldn’t be. It wasn’t right.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before I felt calloused fingers take mine and squeeze them, his hand trembling as he held them.
“Brownie, you’re okay, baby. You’re going to be okay. Thank God, I thought I’d lost you.”
“W-what happened?” I croaked. “Why are you with me?”
Those fingers I loved, brushed against my forehead. “Where else would I be?”
My cheeks felt wet as he lifted my hand and kissed it. My chest felt like my heart and lungs were too big for it. My throat too tight.
“Are we dead?” I finally prized my eyes open and was gifted with the most glorious smile.
“No, gorgeous, we’re not. You’re not, thank God.”
“So, what happened?” I looked around to see stark white everywhere. An antiseptic smell burned my nostrils as I took a breath, sharp knives stabbing through my ribs. “Are you sure we’re not dead?”
“I’m sure.” He chuckled and kissed my fingers again, his stubble scratching softly against my skin. “Do you remember anything?”
Pictures flitted through my head. Feeding Petey an apple, walking away, Wilder calling my name.
“Not why I'm here.” A nurse came into my periphery and smiled at me as Wilder’s thumb traced gentle circles on my knuckles. “I’m guessing it wasn’t good because I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.”
“Just a two thousand pound bull.”
My heart stopped for a second as my mind caught up. “H-how. He was in his paddock.”
“I know. We can deal with that later. You need to rest now.”
I tried to lift my army because I was desperate to brush his hair from his tired eyes, but nothing happened. Glancing down at it, I saw it was encased in blue.
“It’s broken,” Wilder told me and winced. “It was horrible, the bone was sticking out. Glad I was too panicked to notice, I may have puked.”
“What else is wrong with me?” Fear sent a shiver through me. “Am I paralyzed?”
“No.” Wilder’s breath was shaky as tears spilled against his lashes.
“Broken arm and erm, a huge gash down your side. You probably ache because you were thrown to the ground. You saw him coming for you and at the last minute jumped to one side. Otherwise…fuck, Brownie, I don’t want to think about it. ”
He pressed his lips to my palm and then placed it against his cheek. I watched his throat bob on a hard swallow and felt more tears well against my lashes.
“Something else you should know.”
“What is it?” I asked, the dried blood under his fingernails making me realize he’d been through hell, too.
“It was Glenn who was sending the messages, and it was Glenn who let Petey out of the paddock.”
I gave a shocked gasp and Wilder leaned closer.
“The sheriff got him and found a burner phone, but we’ll talk about that once you’re feeling a little better. All you need to know is he can’t hurt you any longer.” His exhausted eyes blinked slowly. “Christ, if I’d lost you. I don’t…”
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered. “I’m staying here.”
“Good because I’m never letting you go.” He swallowed. “I-I love you Brownie. I know it’s not what we agreed on, but I do. I don’t know if you love me, but I don’t care. I love you and want to start a life with you. I want a future with you.”
He said it like he was surprised by the truth of it, like the words had been growing inside of him without permission.
I understood that feeling, the sense of it happening rather than choosing it.
Like gravity. Like the weather. Love between us had been inevitable, it was simply waiting until we were both ready to understand it.
The tears that had threatened moments before started to crawl slowly and I could taste the salt on my lips, feel wetness on my cheeks.
My heart and stomach flipped in unison as warmth spread through my chest, momentarily defeating the pain.
“You sure?” I asked between sobs. “You love me?”
“So fucking much, Brownie.” Wilder laughed and sniffed at the same time. “You crept up on me when I had no damn clue you were what I needed. What I wanted. Best thing my brother ever did hiring you.”
“You think?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.” He blew out a breath, puffing up his cheeks. “Don’t want to think about him not making that decision.”
“Me neither,” I said, my chest clenching at the idea of not ever meeting him. “Must have been fate, right?”
“I know it’s a lot, especially after what you’ve been through, but you had to know. How I was feeling.”
At that moment a stabbing pain hit me in the side, winding me and I grimaced.
“You okay?” Wilder asked anxiously, looking toward the door. “Let me get a nurse.”
“No, no, I’m fine, honey, honestly.” The pain was excruciating but I needed to tell him before I passed out again.
“I love you, too. I have for a while, but I was too stupid or maybe too scared to tell you.” Another wave of pain took my breath away.
“I just…” I took a deep breath. “I just didn’t know if it was what you wanted. ”
“Didn’t know I did, Brownie, didn’t know I did.”
He leaned closer to kiss me, the salt of our tears mixing into a promise for the future.
My brothers were like two ends of the spectrum.
Liam was sitting, grim-faced, staring at me like he was scared I was going to drop dead.
While Cole, he insisted on cracking jokes about doing anything to get a month or so off work, all while eating the candy he’d brought for me.
He didn’t want to, but I’d made Wilder go to the hospital cafeteria to grab himself some food.
Insisting he wasn’t hungry didn’t cut it when his stomach growled loudly.
“Liam, I’m going to be fine.” I could hear his breathing, tense with worry. “Stop looking at me like I’m already dead.”
“You fucking could have been,” he said low and growly. “If I find that guy he’ll wish he was, believe me.”
“You’ll have to get past the sheriff and Wilder. He has first dibs,” Cole added, throwing a Gummy Bear into his mouth. “And I don’t fancy anyone’s chances against a cowboy in love.”
“I could take him,” Liam grumbled, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
Cole shrugged, his shoulders staying up around his ears. “I don’t know man. You tell men what to do and he wrestles cows for a living. My money is on him.”
“And you draw fucking pictures for a living, so I guess you’d be bottom of the pile, shit head.”
“I’m an architect, so my pictures cost a whole heap of money.” Cole never took offence at anything Liam ever said to him. No one did, probably because he lived under a constant gray cloud of misery.
“Yeah, well my buildings cost a damn site more so I’m still better than you.”
“Do you think you two could just stop for one minute,” I said with a groan. “My painkillers are wearing off.”
“Want me to get the nurse?” Liam asked, concern furrowed on his brow.
“No, I want to leave it as long as possible.” Call me stupid but I didn’t want to become reliant. The longer I could last between doses the easier it would be without them once I left the hospital. “I could do with some water, though.”
As they both stood and reached for the jug of iced water, noise outside my room took my attention. There was someone yelling while someone else, words I couldn’t hear, talked back, their voice lower and more controlled.
“What the hell is going on?” Liam turned to the door. “Don’t they realize there are ill people in here?”
“Not ill Liam, injured,” I corrected him.
“Whatever, they’re still too fucking noisy.” He flung the door open and leaned his head outside. After a beat he stepped into the hallway. “No fucking way. Get the fuck out of here.”
“Oh, are Mom and Dad here?” Cole quipped.
I was torn between laughing at his joke and wondering what the hell was going on outside my room.
“Liam!” I snapped. “What is it?”
“I want to see my wife.”
“Oh dear, it seems like the ex hubby is here.” With a sigh, Cole pushed out of his seat and joined Liam at the doorway.
Wilder had told me about Glenn being the one sending the messages, but it didn’t mean I’d forgiven Declan for being a dick. He’d threatened to take my baby away from me.
“Shit, now we’ve got trouble,” Cole said, looking back over to me. “The cowboy just arrived.”
“What’s happening?” I looked around, wondering if I could get out of bed, but even the slight movement of trying to lift the sheet had me reeling with the pain in my side.
It was then I heard Wilder’s voice, deep and low, controlled but angry. “She doesn’t want to see you. When she does, if she does, she’ll contact you, but for now just do yourself a favor, sign the divorce papers and go back to Kentucky.”
“She’s my wife, I have rights.”
“Like fuck you do,” Liam told him and then disappeared from my view.
“Cole,” I hissed. “Has either of them punched him?”
Cole shook his head. “Nope, but he’s pissing his pants at them both bearing down on him. No, wait, he might have shit his pants rather than pissed them.”
It was pointless asking Cole anything if you wanted a serious answer.
There was a little more shouting until Cole stepped outside the doorway. “Okay, girls, let’s break it up. No pulling hair or scratching.”
Wilder then appeared in the doorway, he looked tired and anxious, his hands clenched at his sides.
“You want to see the leprechaun?” His jaw ticked with barely controlled anger.
I couldn’t help the grin. “No baby, I don’t.”
He turned back to the hallway. “She doesn’t want to see you, Mullaney. Got it.”
“I just want to check you’re okay, Tallulah,” I heard Declan call.
“Tell him I’m fine, to sign the papers and go back to Kentucky.”
“Hear that?” Wilder asked. He was met with silence until finally I heard what I knew were expensive shoes clicking down the hallway. After a minute, Wilder turned back to me. “Hey, Brownie, how you holding up?”
His smile was brighter than it had been before he left to get food, there was that at least. “I’m good honey. You?”
He glanced down the hallway. “Now the little guy has gone, I’m good.”
“Gone for good?” I asked hopefully.
“We’ll see and if he hasn’t we’ll be more persuasive next time, isn’t that right guys?”
“Too damn right,” Cole agreed. “I showed him.”
As three of my four favorite men came back into my room, I felt a sense of peace, despite the pain in my side and arm. I looked at each of them, my heart all in one room, and I knew it was where I belonged.