Chapter 19
The next morning, Colin rose before the house.
He was downstairs at six, the air through the open kitchen window surprisingly chilly.
He ate another bowl of fruit and yogurt and bran flakes, then left the academy and walked along empty streets.
The club held to a sleepy morning rhythm, the only fast activity coming from other early swimmers.
The pool was shockingly cold, but Colin found that after half a lap he actually liked it.
He took his time, carefully studying his motions, trying to move through the water like Mira.
He failed, of course. But it felt better than good to use that as his goal.
Afterward he sat in one of the pool chairs facing the sun. He stayed there just half an hour, long enough to feel his skin begin to crinkle. He used his cell phone to call for an Uber, then went inside to shower and dress. The car was waiting in the club’s parking lot when he emerged.
As he traveled to the same shopping center where Arnold had taken him, Colin made a mental note to tell his adviser about using the car service for a personal matter.
He knew it was ridiculous, worrying about an unapproved Uber charge when he had lived behind so many half-truths.
But this was different. He could not explain it any better than that.
Nor, that particular morning, did he feel any need.
He was the barbershop’s first customer. The lone hairdresser on early duty was a young Latino who clearly disliked jazz.
But when Colin asked, he grudgingly agreed to put on an album by Billie Holiday.
“I don’t like what she sings, you know, with the orchestra and stuff.
But the lady has got a voice that can make even that old music sound good. ”
When the cut was finished, the barber asked Colin what he thought of the lady. He replied, “I never knew anyone could sing like that.”
“She knows her notes, that’s the truth.”
“She doesn’t just sing,” Colin replied. “She speaks to your heart.”
The young man chuckled as he brushed Colin down. “When the old man talked about you, I thought he was just blowing smoke. You’re okay, little man. You come back any time you like.”
As he paid, he said, “I need to buy a suit. Where is the best place for kids?”
The barber thought it over while Colin signed the debit-card slip. “Hugo Boss is probably your best bet. But they’re expensive. Else go on down to Nordstrom, the big store right at the other end.”
Colin walked the mall’s sunlit avenue, feeling the current gathering pace.
There was no distance to the day, no protective element, no choice except traveling with the force, allowing himself to become part of everything he had put in place.
The tension so real, so vivid, he wondered if he would ever step back from it again.
The saleslady at Hugo Boss was reluctant to serve him at first. Colin felt a vague sense of shame over needing to assure her that he could pay.
It was nothing like the embarrassment that had so plagued him in the early days.
But still it tarnished the moment. His discomfort grew far worse when he stood in front of the triple mirrors and viewed his body from three sides.
The clothes he had bought with Arnold hung on him like a partly deflated balloon.
The weight loss was shocking when seen like this.
The woman appeared touched by his dismay, for she took on a professional tone and guided him through the process of selection.
At her advice, he went for a jacket and two pairs of pants, two dress shirts, and a tie.
Two packs of underwear. A pair of shorts and new swim trunks that fit properly.
The process was both exhausting and satisfying.
He emerged wearing the jacket of silk and cotton weave, two shades of blue and one of grey.
Slate grey gabardine trousers. White shirt with matching grey stripes.
Navy tie with grey diamond designs. The saleslady had packed his old clothes in a second bag.
He carried those and his other purchases to the Starbucks and treated himself to a hot chocolate and melted cheese sandwich.
When it was time, he ordered an Uber and was outside the main entrance when it pulled up.
Celeste was already seated in the waiting room when he entered Roland’s law offices. She was dressed in a rich amber-colored suit of rough silk. She watched him set his shopping bags by the receptionist’s desk and gave him a careful up and down. Then she said merely, “Well now.”
“I’ve lost so much weight.” Colin took the seat next to her. He knew the receptionist was watching them and pitched his voice low. “I never really saw it until just now, buying these clothes.”
“You did good,” Celeste said. “I started to say something yesterday, then decided not to add to your worries.” She leaned back so as to survey him again. “This look, it’s right for you.”
The compliment warmed him. “You look pretty.”
She huffed a quick laugh. “A lady of my size and years, pretty don’t cut it.”
“I don’t know a better word.”
“Well, it’s nice that you said it just the same.” She seemed ready to speak, then stopped herself.
“What is it?”
“Nothing that can’t wait.”
“We’re here, we’re waiting, when could be better than now?”
“Thing is, I’ve got a girl in college and a boy …” She shook her head. “Truth be told, I don’t know what’s going to happen to my son.”
Colin had no idea how to respond.
“I’ve got me some savings, see …”
“You want me to invest for you?”
“Are you making another investment?”
“Any day now. Soon as the stock dips.”
“You explained all that, but I didn’t really understand.”
“You don’t need to. That’s my job.”
She still looked worried. “You think it would be all right with those other people, me putting my money in?”
“Celeste …” He found his throat constricting. The lady had seen him through so much. “Of course it’s okay.”
“You sure about that?”
“After everything you’ve done for me? I only wish I had thought to ask you yesterday.”
Her face crimped with an almost-smile. “You had other things on your mind.”
The receptionist chose that moment to set down her phone and announce, “Mr. Perez will see you now.”