Chapter 38
It felt better than good, having a daily reason to ride the market’s roller coaster.
It took Colin’s mind momentarily off the ongoing struggle with his studies.
He had almost forgotten how much he enjoyed formulating his algorithms, keeping tabs on all the news feeds, inserting the raw data into his foundational structure, watching the computer generate a predicted outcome.
He held himself to the one investment. A quarter of his total savings.
The stock became trapped inside the summer doldrums for what seemed like forever. Even so, he remained content.
Another portion of those summer nights was given over to cartoons. Sort of.
He upgraded his television, hooked it to his sound system, took subscriptions to the paid channels, and watched every CGI animated feature from the previous six years.
The Pixar projects in particular he found fascinating on a multitude of levels.
Liam, the salesman who had helped Colin select his sound system and now introduced him to the latest jazz albums, turned out to be an online game freak.
Colin bought all the games Liam recommended.
Playing them proved only mildly entertaining.
He never fully engaged with the imagined worlds, especially those created as battle zones.
But the concepts behind the games he found fascinating.
He joined several online chat rooms dedicated to the games’ software designers.
He became comfortable with their terminology and specialized methods: real-time rendering, immersive scene building, complex imagery, virtual reality, using stacked computer power backed up with cloud access to accelerate the creative process, building a rendering farm, twenty-four frames per second and what that meant on the engineering front.
He especially loved the concept of interactive imagery, which relied on the gamer’s choices to fully develop both scenic structure and point of view.
The need for speed, both online access and the gamers’ computing power.
He went to bed most nights almost happy.
Later that month, Colin returned from his morning swim to find Sofia Hernandez seated on the house’s front steps. Beside her was an Asian girl. Because of her diminutive stature Colin first thought she was a child Sofia’s age.
“Hi, Colin. This is Tiana.”
The way the girl studied him, Colin realized with a start she was a teen. And despite her size, quite possibly older than he was. “Hi.”
Tiana tilted her head, allowing a dark and silken river of hair to flow over one shoulder. “I’m waiting.”
With that gesture, Colin realized she was also beautiful. “Excuse me?”
“The way Sofia talks about you, I want to watch you walk on water.”
Sofia said, “Tiana studies history with me.”
“Correction. I race to catch up. Which I hate.”
“No she doesn’t. Tiana starts at Duke in January.”
“Congratulations.”
Tiana surveyed his form: sandals and gym shorts and stained T-shirt and towel draped over his backpack. “Sofia also said you dressed so nice. No water walking, no elegant attire. How utterly disappointing.”
“No it’s not,” Sofia said. To Colin, “She’s been wanting to meet you since forever.”
“Nice thought, terrible syntax.”
Sofia leaned back. Happy. “Tiana is Hawaiian. Which is so cool.”
“I know what you’re thinking,” Tiana said. “It’s a long way to commute. Wow. So funny. And original.”
Sofia said, “She lives with her aunt and uncle. They’re nice, too.”
“Actually …” He felt compelled to speak. But could only come up with, “Nothing.”
“You have nothing to say, or nothing in your head?”
“Both.”
“Wow. Is that the math nothing or the Zen nothing?”
“It’s the I’m-not-even-going-to-try-and-keep-up-with-you nothing.”
“I suppose we can give that an E for feeble effort.” She bounded to her feet. “Colin, you may walk with me.”
They went off campus the following afternoon, and then again two days later, and the day after that.
And the next. Each time they made it a threesome.
Colin actually enjoyed the jaunts with Sofia.
She was gradually leaving the shadows behind, becoming an effusive girl with a magnetic smile.
She and Tiana chattered away, allowing him to float contentedly, like a benevolent patron.
He served as driver and let Sofia choose the films and afterward the two ladies argued over food.
Their selections were limited to restaurants serving Mexican or Asian Pacific, which Sofia pretended to moan over, and then ate everything.
Finally, when he could stand it no longer, Colin phoned Mira.
He couldn’t take this to Celeste. Why, he had no idea.
But Mira was different. He needed to speak with her so badly he felt a leaden ache in his chest when the call went to voice mail.
He asked her to call him back as soon as she had a chance.
Then he went outside and paced. Around the quad.
Again. He phoned once more. This time all he said was, “Please, Mira. Now. Please.”
She called him twenty minutes later. “You can’t complain about me being out of touch. You can’t ask me about … anything.” The last word emerged with a great explosion of breath.
“Mira, remember when you met me at Lenny’s funeral?”
“Of course I remember.” Her voice was flat as pounded tin. “How could I ever forget such a thing.”
“When we walked afterward, I was terrified you’d ask me something. Anything that might force me to let go of everything I was struggling to hold back. But you knew, didn’t you?” He gave that a beat. When she remained silent, he went on, “Remember what you talked to me about?”
“The internal vacuum.” She almost whispered the words. “You losing your mom. Me, my twin.”
“Understanding each other. Being connected in a way that makes no sense. And it helped me, Mira. So much.”
“Is that why you called?”
“No. Well, yes. Sort of.” He took a very hard breath. Expelled it with the words, “I’ve met a girl.”
A silence, then, “What?”
“Her name is Tiana.” Just putting the name out there in the atmosphere shot an electric zing through his heart. “I really, really like her.”
“Does she like you?”
“I don’t … I think so. Maybe. Yes.”
“Well, Colin, this is great. Isn’t it?”
“I guess so.”
“You guess? What is there to guess about?”
“I’m so scared, Mira. I have no idea what to do or even to say around her. We’ve been out, I don’t know, six times, counting our walks. And it’s always been with Sofia.”
“Who?”
“A girl here at Sojourn House. She introduced us.”
Mira actually laughed. “You’ve been taking along a chaperone?”
“Sort of.”
“Colin, honey, why?”
“I told you. I don’t know what to say. How to act. Anything.”
“Sweetie, here’s a little news flash.” Her voice shed a hundred thousand tons. The Mira of old emerged, almost musical in the way she continued, “If she has put up with six, count ’em six, chaperoned dates with you, the lady is hooked.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh, yeah. I know.” She paused for a chuckle. “Is she hot?”
“She’s really pretty. Chinese Hawaiian pretty. She’s also older than me. She’ll be seventeen the first week in October.”
Mira laughed again. “She’s hanging out with you and the chaperone, six dates in … how long have you known her?”
“Three weeks almost.”
“Colin, that lady is so totally into you it’s not funny. Actually, it’s hilarious. But you know what I mean.”
“What do I do?”
“That’s simple. Ask her out. Unchaperoned. See how it flies.”
“What if I mess it up?” He rubbed the hand not holding his phone up and down his pant leg. Trying to erase the fear sweat that beaded everywhere. “What if I …”
“What if you fall in love.”
He nodded. Unable to speak. Hating that it was out there in the open. And loving it.
“Colin, honey, that’s what life is all about. Taking risks.” Her voice fractured then. “Sometimes it doesn’t work out, and there’s nothing you can do about it. And when that happens, if it happens …”
“What?”
She sniffed. “I have to go. But do it, Colin. Now. Ask her out. And call me when you’re done. I want to know everything.”
So they had a date. The same as with Sofia, and totally different.
Colin held to the same routine because at least that much he knew she would enjoy.
He drove them to the Cineplex. They took in a film he couldn’t remember a thing about two minutes after they left the cinema.
He drove to Nori Asian Fusion on Market.
She chatted with the same rapid-fire ease as when Sofia was present.
There were no awkward pauses because Tiana did not allow them.
Fun.
Colin called Mira the instant he walked through the apartment door. Voice mail. He didn’t want to leave a message, but on the third try he did just that. Thanked her. Said it went great. Thanked her again.
Mira never called him back.
The following week, Tiana announced, “My aunt and uncle want to meet you.”
Colin had no experience with either dates or their parents, so he said, “Okay.”
“Just like that, okay, the man says. Like he didn’t avoid being alone with me for years.”
“We just met.”
“Whatever. They are inviting you to dinner on Saturday.”
“Sure … Wait, that’s the fifth of August.”
“And once again the math genius is correct.”
“I can’t. I’m … I have plans.”
She did not grow angry. Her face simply went blank. Like a wax mask. “You have another date.”
“No, well, sort of. Not like you’re thinking.”
“How do you know what I’m thinking?”
“I’m going to a concert. With two friends. Chick Corea is playing at the Live Oak Bank Pavilion. I’d love to invite you, but it’s been sold out for weeks.”
“And these friends are …”
“Two guys, Tiana. One of them introduced me to jazz.”
A flicker of life returned. “You like jazz?”
“Like isn’t strong enough. It’s a drug I take through my ears.”
She almost smiled. “Then you and my uncle may actually have something to talk about. Then come before the concert. They need to understand you’re as old as I claim.”