Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Cryptids United in Delightful Dating and Love Encouragement (CUDDLE) Forum
SuperShySasquatch: Any tips on kissing? I don’t have much experience, but I really want to kiss my boyfriend. How soon is too soon?
YetiOrNotHereICome: In my experience, it’s all about the right mood. Set the tone. Look deep into each other’s eyes. Move in for a lip-lock when you get the subtle go-ahead from your partner.
LoungeSingerLizardMan: If you’re keeping it old-fashioned, don’t bring in the tongue too soon. Work your way up to that.
MerMagicMan: What are you talking about? Tongue is the best part!
NessieNeedsLoveToo: I think that might be beyond @SuperShySasquatch right now. He needs time to level up.
SuperShySasquatch: I’d like to start out in the PG range, if that helps.
IPutTheBrahInChupacabra: Then you need to build the anticipation, man. I agree with @YetiOrNotHereICome. Set the mood. In your case, make it super romantic. Keep the kissing slow and gentle to start and see what you both think.
SuperShySasquatch: I think I need to work on my technique first. Is a pillow still a go-to option?
Hal
After Skylar goes down to the salon for the morning, I call Ryder and ask him to come over to talk. I need to update my bestie on all that’s happened recently.
And get his advice on how to go about kissing my boyfriend.
Around ten, Ryder shows up, auburn hair messy and clothes rumpled.
“Morning, Hal,” he says, blinking blearily. “Your call woke me up, so I need a cup of your strongest coffee, please. I was up late writing last night, so I’m still in my morning zombie mode.”
I chuckle and seat him at the breakfast nook in the kitchen while I pour him a cup of coffee. “Ah, yes, I remember zombie mode all too well. Quadruple shot latte coming right up.”
Elvira, who’d been taking a nap upstairs, pads into the room and makes a beeline for Ryder. My friend’s mouth drops open.
“Am I still dreaming?”
Elvira starts pawing at him, demanding pets.
He scratches her chins and her three tongues loll out as she grins with obvious pleasure.
Ryder lifts his head and gives me an inquisitor’s sharp gaze. “What in the everloving fuck happened and why do you now have a baby hellhound?”
Elvira flops down at our feet and rests her three heads between her paws as she settles in for another nap.
“So much has happened in such a short amount of time. I can hardly believe it myself.”
I quickly give him a rundown of everything that’s been going on—from intoxicated gnomes to singing apples to Skylar asking me out and us being boyfriends to Elvira becoming part of our lives.
It’s a lot.
When I reach the end, Ryder blinks at me owlishly from behind his glasses.
“Holy shit, man. That’s bananas. Now, while I do have many questions about gnome anatomy—because how haven’t I written a gnome romance yet?
—first and foremost, I should say congratulations.
On getting together with Skylar, that is. ”
“Thanks. I’m trying not to pinch myself every few minutes to see if I’m dreaming.”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure the reality of it all will sink in before too long. In the meantime, enjoy this early period of newfound love.”
I wince. “Well, although I’m head over heels for him, I’m not sure where exactly he’s at.”
Neither of us has actually said the words to each other, either. Even though I really want to tell him exactly how I feel.
“Is there a need to rush?” Ryder asks. “Taking it slow isn’t a bad thing. In fact, slow and steady is kind of your signature style, Hal. Be true to yourself. He likes you for who you are, so lead with that.”
“I know you’re right, and we are taking it slow, but I can’t exactly put the brakes on my emotions. They have a mind of their own and are charging full speed ahead.”
Ryder gives me a commiserating look. “That’s tough. I had similar problems when Vash and I started hooking up, although I tried to ignore them at first. Catching feelings can happen whether you want it to or not and whether you’re ready for them or not.”
“See, this is why I need your wisdom. You’re basically my only reliable relationship guru I can talk to.”
Ryder lets out a sharp bark of laughter.
“While I appreciate your belief in my knowledge on such matters, I freely admit that I am no expert. Vash is the first serious and functional romantic relationship I’ve ever had.
Everything else was pretty much friends with benefits.
” Ryder stops for a minute. “Maybe not even really friends.”
I groan and rub a hand over my face. “Well, that’s still more experience than I have. Sure, I’ve dated a bit, but Skylar’s my first serious relationship. And from what he’s shared about his past, I kind of think I’m his first healthy one, at least.”
“Touché, mon ami,” Ryder says dryly.
He leans forward, eyes unblinking and focus unwavering in that intense way he can get. “Lay it on me, and I shall endeavor to offer sensible advice.”
I squirm under his slightly intrusive gaze. I refuse to divulge any details of Skylar’s history, not without his permission, so I opt to be as general as possible.
“Skylar’s last relationship ended badly, and from what he’s told me, he didn’t have the best experiences in the romance department even before that.”
“People can be total and complete assholes,” Ryder says. “Sucks that he’s been screwed over by more than one.”
“Definitely. He’s been hurt. Badly. And I don’t like it.”
“Hmm,” Ryder muses. “That’s perfectly understandable.
I’ve done research on this for my books before.
Psychology is a fascinating field of study and learning what drives us and our behavior can generate beneficial insights.
Across species, most beings have strong emotions when those they love are hurt, especially by others.
It can spark intense reactions, rage being a common one. ”
“It’s a new and unpleasant feeling for me. I’d never experienced a desire to commit violence until Skylar told me what happened to him.”
Ryder’s eyes widen. “Well, shit. I didn’t know you had it in you, Hal.”
My shoulders slump. “Neither did I.”
“Most people have darker thoughts from time to time, but we don’t act on them, and I know you won’t either.”
I nod. “You know I’m a pacifist through and through. Most sasquatches are. The only exception is when our mates or offspring are in danger, then we will fight to keep them safe.”
Ryder whips out his ever-present notebook and jots down something before turning his attention back to me. “It sounds like a kind of natural protective instinct among your species, then. Just one you haven’t experienced before.”
I frown. “Maybe, and it’s confusing. I can’t say I like it, but I also just have this frustrated wish that I could have met Skylar sooner and prevented him being hurt.”
Ryder grins like the Cheshire Cat and it’s rather unnerving. “Mwahahahaha! Welcome to the club, my friend. Glad you could finally join us. Love makes you do and feel strange things. It’s awesome and a bit awful all at the same time.”
My heart pounds double-time. “Is it that obvious? That I’m in love with him already?”
Ryder slurps his latte and then pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I’ll be totally blunt, which is my way, as you know. Hal, you wear your heart on your sleeve. Or in this case, in your eyes. You’ve got cartoon hearts in yours whenever you talk about him.”
I worry my bottom lip. “Do you think he knows? It’s probably too soon to tell him, right? We’ve only just started dating.”
“Well, you’ve been living together in the B&B for nearly a month, and maybe your relationship has just evolved in that time. Love was a natural destination, especially for a romantic like you, Hal.”
My cheeks warm. “I really wanted to tell him last night, but then a demon portal sort of ruined the mood.”
Ryder barks out a laugh. “Wish I could have seen that. Do you think Akram would sneak me in so I could take a look? I’ve never seen a portal before. Surely I can claim research rights to get a peek.” He jots down another note to himself.
“Ahem. So what do you think about me telling Skylar that I’m in love with him and want to be with him forever?” I say, trying to bring Ryder’s wandering mind back to the issue at hand.
“Like I said before, I don’t think you need to rush things.” He pauses. “That is, unless you can’t hold it back. That’s what happened with me and Vash. I just blurted everything out the moment I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Totally spilled my guts and then some.”
I chuckle. Ryder blurts out everything he’s thinking like he’s going pro with the skill.
“But people don’t always have to say how they feel right away. Instead, maybe focus on showing it. That can mean a lot more.”
“How?” I ask.