Chapter Fourteen
Self-reflection.
Cleo saw both sides. It was important to dig deep into oneself. It could be eye-opening and therapeutic. But sometimes, it was really hard to dig that deep. Facing demons and a past she wanted to forget stirred up emotions she wasn’t sure she wanted to face. But sometimes, it’s forced upon us.
That was the current state of Cleo’s world.
Her self-reflection wasn’t without revelations.
Cleo had been too wrapped up in her shame to see the clear picture or acknowledge the facts.
It took a day. But it happened. While drudging up the past had been painful, it made way for a new perspective.
Something Cleo had never considered or done.
Sometimes you have to be your own savior. There was only one person she could unequivocally trust. Herself.
Cleo could’ve spent days, weeks, or months wallowing in her own self-pity.
But where would that get her? Nowhere good, and she knew it.
I choose how this plays out. She wasn’t fully committed to that stance, but she was prepared to fake it until it became her new reality.
Things had changed, and so she had to change.
Ace’s words played over in her head. Fix this.
There were a few ways she’d come up with.
None of them worked in her favor. The outcomes were all the same, and she and Wraith wouldn’t end up together.
The hardest part was getting a small sliver of something beautiful and amazing, just to have it ripped away.
Isn’t that how it goes? For Cleo, the answer was yes.
Her brother was a prime example. When Knox brought her back to Killcreek, she’d thought it was something solid, a relationship that would last a lifetime.
They’d build their bond, have memories and finally she’d have a real family.
And in a matter of years, it was all gone.
Maybe people like me don’t get happily ever afters.
Cleo eyed herself in the mirror. She’d showered, done her hair and makeup, and even put effort into her outfit.
It was the first time in days she’d smiled.
Be this girl. Not the one who hung her head low, drowning in shame.
She’d grown tired of hiding. It was exhausting and isolating.
She couldn’t change her past. But she could change how she looked at it.
She made her way downstairs. There were a few members milling around the room. From the corner of her eye, she caught Wraith at the table with Cross and Ace. She ignored them, refusing to make eye contact. But she felt his stare as if it was burning her skin.
Cleo wasn’t ready to face him. She might never be. I don’t want to see that look. Cleo walked toward the kitchen, passing Cypher.
“I’m heading to Grizz’s,” he said, and she spun around.
It was the perfect getaway. And it wasn’t so off base.
Cleo didn’t have a close relationship with the man old enough to be her grandfather.
But she’d shared a few conversations, and there was a mutual likeness and appreciation.
And it gets me out of this goddamn clubhouse.
“Hey, Cypher?”
He glanced over his shoulder and lifted his chin.
“Can I come with you?”
Cypher slowly turned, eyeing her and then looking over at Ace. He was waiting on approval, and Cleo wasn’t sure the president would give it. She glanced over at Ace, who was staring back at her. Wraith was sitting beside him but she stayed focused on the president.
Please, Ace. I need this.
She wasn’t sure if he’d read her mind or found his own compassion. But Ace gave a curt nod, granting permission.
“I’ll grab my bag.”
Cypher knitted his brows. “I’m taking my bike.”
In all her time at Killcreek, she’d only been on the back of three members’ bikes. Knox’s mostly, occasionally Ghost’s, and after her brother’s death, always Wraith’s. She ignored the awkward tension in the room and nodded.
“Great! I’ll grab my helmet.” She started toward the hallway but didn’t get far.
“Cleo.” Her muscles tightened and she slowly turned to face Ace. “Wraith will take you over.”
It wasn’t an offer. It was an order. Something she never defied. Until now.
Cleo forced a smile, but refused to look at Wraith. Again, I don’t want to see that look.
“No, thanks. I’ll go with Cypher.” She rushed out of the room and ran up the stairs.
She suspected Cypher wouldn’t be waiting when she came back down. Surprisingly, he was standing by the door.
It was only a short ride to Grizz’s house and neither of them spoke a word. Cleo recognized she was putting Cypher in an uncomfortable position. But if it bothered him, he showed no signs.
Cypher pulled up, parking alongside the old beat-up truck in front of the house.
She got off, peering around the property.
It was heavily wooded with no neighbors but it backed up to the clubhouse.
It was separated by a huge field and acres of land.
She couldn’t even see the MC property from where she was standing.
When Cypher started toward the house, she rushed up beside him.
She hadn’t planned on approaching him but given the opportunity, she’d take it.
Ever since Wraith’s admission of being there the night Knox came to her house, she wondered who else had been there.
It would’ve been easier to shift it to the back of her mind and not consider any other possibilities.
But the thought had plagued her over the last few days.
Sometimes the truth, as hard as it was to hear, was necessary to heal.
“Cypher, can I ask you something?”
He stopped and turned to Cleo. “Yeah.”
She swallowed the knot in her throat. “Do you remember the first time we met?”
He furrowed his brows, scanning her face. Cleo held her breath, waiting. Say the hotel and not my house.
He grasped the back of his neck and shifted his eyes to the woods.
“We met up with you and Knox at that hotel off the highway.”
“S-so,” her voice shook and she cleared her throat. “That was the first time you ever saw me?”
Cypher glanced back at her, smirking. “Yeah, you were finishing up your breakfast in the room. French toast. Jekyll was pissed and bitching ‘cause all we got at our hotel was muffins and fruit. You offered him your last piece.”
I remember that. She exhaled as the relief spread through her body.
“He didn’t take it.”
“No,” he arched his brow. “But he appreciated it. And that’s why he’s got a soft spot for you.”
Jekyll’s demeanor could’ve easily been compared to Wraith’s.
But he’d always been a little kinder to Cleo than the others.
The few times he’d called the clubhouse from prison, she’d answered twice.
She knew he had limited time so she was quick to hand off the phone to one of the brothers.
But both times, he insisted on talking to her and asking how she was doing.
“That felt like a test.” Cypher snorted. “Did I at least fucking pass?”
Cleo smiled, fighting against her emotions and willing her tears to remain at bay. She nodded, not trusting herself to say anything. You passed, Cypher.
“Hang with Grizz for a while.”
“Okay,” she muttered. Grizz was sitting on his porch in one of the rockers.
Cleo waved, and he dropped his chin in greeting, then pushed up from the chair and walked down the porch steps, meeting her on the gravel path.
As far as she knew, Grizz had never been a member of the club, but he was close to all of them.
“Well, this is a surprise.”
“I tagged along with Cypher. I hope you don’t mind.”
He scoffed. “A pretty girl coming to visit me? I don’t get that a lot.”
Cleo chuckled.
He gestured down the path. “Wanna take a walk with me, sweetheart?”
I would love nothing more, Grizz.
Cleo wandered around the side of the house.
She wasn’t sure how many acres he had. But it had to be in the triple digits.
His house was large but dated. It was blue with white shutters and a wraparound front porch.
It was perfect. She veered to the right, getting a better look at the property.
There was a smaller dwelling, parallel with the main house, that had its own separate overgrown and unpaved driveway.
There wasn’t a garage or carport. From the size, there couldn’t be more than two bedrooms, if that.
Before she could even ask, Grizz offered the details up.
“My Gran’s house.”
Cleo jerked her head, staring at the old house.
“My dad built it when she got too old to live on her own. She refused to move in with us. Probably a good thing. Her and my mama never did get along.” He smirked, looking over at Cleo and winked.
“The only thing scarier than being in the center of a bar brawl with no backup is being between two strong-willed women who don’t see eye to eye. ”
She couldn’t relate, but she was highly amused by the story. Cleo chuckled and tucked her hands in her pockets.
“How long has it been vacant?”
Grizz stretched his arms, grasping the back of his neck. “About nine years.”
Her brows shot up to her hairline. Grizz was probably pushing seventy, if she had to guess. How had this beautiful little home stayed vacant for so long? When she looked at it, there were so many possibilities.
“How old was your grandmother?”
He burst out laughing. “Ninety-two when she died. She wasn’t the last to live here.
After my pop died, my mom was living on her own.
Me and my lady took turns checking on her but with both of us working a lot, it made it hard.
We suggested we move into this place. My mom insisted on giving us the main house and she moved into this one.
After my woman passed, I offered my mom to come live with me but she refused.
” His face softened, staring at the one story cape. “God, she loved this little house.”