Chapter 1 #2
Theodora could not hide the blush that covered her cheeks.
Of course, there had been times she found someone of the opposite sex attractive or interesting, but she never felt the need to have those feelings consume her life like all the other young women of her acquaintance.
To be honest, there was a part of her that felt there may be something wrong with her.
The comings and goings of the ton, and the relationships that sprouted from it, never held much interest to her.
“Regardless, Theo,” Maria continued, “if you truly want to champion your theory, then prove it.”
She cocked her head to the side and thought about what Maria suggested.
A smile broadened on Anna’s face. “I agree. If you are so academically inclined, which we all know you are…” She dipped her chin towards Theodora. “…why not test your theory?”
Evelina huffed. “All right now, ladies. That is enough. We may gossip about everyone else, but we are here for each other. We all know Theodora’s interest lies in letters and numbers, not men. We do not need to push her to do—”
Theo sat up suddenly. “No. They are right!”
She met Evelina’s eyes. She knew her sister was trying to shield her, but she did not want protection.
Anna and Maria were indeed right. She considered herself a natural philosopher like Galvani and Giovanni Aldini.
And, like those men of science, she needed to gather and analyze information.
She needed to prove her hypothesis that emotion, more importantly love, was nothing but a biological reaction.
“We are?” Anna and Maria asked at the same time.
She looked at both of them expectantly.
“You are one hundred percent right. If I am to prove to you, and to everyone, that love is just a biological response to a stimulus, then I need to get into the field and prove it!” Theodora smiled to herself as her mind whirled with ideas of how to lay out her experiment.
“Oh, no.” Evelina sighed. “She has that look again.”
“Hush, Eve. You do know that this experiment may save you too.” Theodora smiled smugly at her sister.
“What does your experiment have to do with me?” Evelina scoffed before adding, “And how would you go about this experiment, Theo? You hate talking to people, especially men.”
Theodora’s eye glittered with excitement. “It just so happens I have been working on a theory that I can put into play by simply socializing with men.”
That caught the ladies’ attention at once.
“Do go on,” Anna said intrigued.
“I have created what I call ‘The Seven Stages of Romantic Delusion.’”
Anna and Maria tittered at her announcement.
“Delusion?” Anna questioned.
Theodora quickly nodded her head. “Yes, delusion, because, as I already stated, it is a biological response, not some mystical, magical sense that takes over your body.” She waved her hands in the air as if to cast a spell.
“These seven stages will prove it is a biological response and if my theory is correct, which it will be,” she added to Evelina, “I can therefore avoid any sense of the circus that the ton has built up around love and go on with my life.”
Evelina considered her sister for a moment. “Fine, but have you considered what will happen if your experiment fails?”
“I will not fail,” Theodora said confidently.
Evelina laughed. “I know the concept of you failing is so far removed from your senses, but my memory is long and I remember quite a few of your previous experiments ending in ruins.”
Theodora lifted a shoulder. “So, what if I do fail? You all can go on living your happy lives with the notion that love is all you need.” Theodora winced. Just saying that made her stomach tighten with unease.
Evelina shook her head slowly as a knowing smile spread across her lips.
Theodora furrowed her brows. “What is it?”
“My dear sister, for someone who is so intelligent you seem to be missing the other side to your argument. If you go ahead with your experiment, in whatever capacity it is, and you find a man to test your theory on, and you develop feelings that you could only describe as love…” She waved her hand in front of her, as if to lead her sister to her point but Theodora stared blankly back.
Evelina let out a heavy sigh. “Theo, if you fail, do you intend to marry? Because this experiment could quite possibly ruin you.”
Theodora grimaced in her direction and Evelina stuck her tongue out at her sister.
“Well…” Her heart thudded at the possibility of failing. “I guess, I will only marry the man who proves my theory wrong. But I am convinced that this will never happen.”
Anna gasped, Evelina’s eyes widened, and Maria clapped her hands.
“This is exciting. You must start right away!” Maria chimed.
Anna jumped up, ran to Theodora, and pulled her to her feet. “You must start at our anniversary party next week. There will be plenty of eligible suitors there, although it is a masquerade…but you will have your pick either way!”
Theodora’s head began to swim. Excitement mixed with dread filled her veins.
The thought of finally proving her theory that love did not exist was exhilarating but the actual implementation of the experiment was daunting.
If she proved her theory correctly, then she would be able to say with finality that her father never loved her mother.
Her results could discourage her friends who had found the delusion of love in their husbands.
It would be a heartbreaking discovery but one she must prove correct to make sense of it all.
“Theo?” Anna’s soft voice pulled her back to reality.
Theodora returned her smile. “It is set, then. I will commence on my theory to test the seven stages of delusion next week at your party.”
Maria joined Anna; their excitement was palpable. “What’s the first stage? I want to know what I am looking for, after all. The day Theodora Dowell willingly engages in the ton is a day worth remembering.”
Theodora’s hand went to her hip. She carried her notebook tucked away in a pocket. It was her most prized possession filled with thoughts, observations, and theories. She opened to her lengthy list of notations.
“I will get us more tea,” Evelina said as the ladies resumed their seats comfortably around Theodora and she began reading the stages to disprove the existence of love.
“The seven stages of romantic delusion. Field notes written by myself, Theodora Dowell.” Her friends laughed with delight as she gave an exaggerated bow before she continued.
“The objective of the study is to demonstrate that what society calls ‘romantic love’ is in fact a predictable sequence of biological, cognitive, and territorial responses. Each stage shall be observed, measured, and thereafter disproven as ‘love’.”
Anna bounced on her seat giddily and interrupted, “Oh, Theo, this is so exciting!”
“Imagine,” Maria enthused, “Our little Theodora is going to conduct an experiment, a real one—”
“I always conduct real experiments, Maria.” Theodora rolled her eyes as her friends giggled.
“I meant no offense, Theo, I just meant that this particular experiment might change the way we forever think about ourselves and our feelings.”
Theodora tapped her index finger nervously along the next set of words she meant to read aloud.
She wanted to do something significant. She dreamed of changing the world, but the thought of actively seeking out a suitor and trying to produce some sort of affection between them made her stomach churn.
What sort of man might I attract and who might delude themselves into falling in love with a scientist like me?