Chapter 7
Stage Six: The First Kiss
It is my belief that one can sufficiently prove the notion of ‘butterflies’ in one’s stomach in relation to a kiss is just distress caused by hysteria.
Mechanism: Sensory Overload & Gastrointestinal Distress
Aim: To prove that “butterflies” are simply the body’s panic response to overstimulation.
Method:
Record physiological changes during first contact.
Compare to symptoms of acute stress.
Expected Conclusion: Hysteria, not harmony.
I lie awake tasting only the ghost of you.
Longing to press my mouth
To the warm hollow of your throat,
To drink the slow pulse there
Until dawn forgets its name.
Come soon.
Let me taste the spell I have hungered for.
The Scarlet Duke
“Theo? Are you listening?” Evelina placed her teacup on the table next to her.
“Hmm?” Theodora glanced from the window seat. “Sorry, Evelina. I was just thinking.”
Evelina wrinkled her nose. “I know your thinking face. That was your worry face. Anything I can help with?”
Theodora glanced down at the letter in her hands.
It was from the Duke of Hawthorne. He had written to her almost every day, and of course they were dirty and scandalous little notes.
Not the sort of thing at all a duke should be writing to a young woman of the ton.
She wanted desperately to tell Evelina of her acquaintance with him, but she knew her sister’s true feelings about the man.
And she realized what her sister would say if she found out that Theo was corresponding with a man when they were not betrothed to one another.
There was also the Duke’s own secret she needed to keep.
Although, that one was not too hard since she did not truly know his secret.
Her fingers played with the edges of the most recent letter and her lips threatened to smile but whenever she thought of the secretive Duke she could not help but think of her father and his own secret she was made to keep.
“What’s that you’re holding?” Evelina’s voice cut through her thoughts.
“A letter from a friend is all.”
“Bad news?” Evelina pushed.
Theodora shook her head. “No, just your usual correspondence about balls and dresses.” Theodora inwardly winced.
Lying was becoming too easy for her. Plus, this fabrication was not even a particularly good one.
Surely, Evelina would know that Theodora was not writing to friends about such fripperies.
Men of science sought out the truth and here she was making up lies left and right. Evelina stood and joined Theodora on the window seat.
“Mother should be home soon. I cannot wait to hear about her time in Bath. I have always loved traveling. I wish to do more of it.”
While her sister looked out over the front courtyard Theodora sank further into the seat. It was one thing to keep her father’s secret on her own, but in the presence of her mother, it would be another issue all together.
Theodora shook her head. “I am excited to see her. She has been gone awhile.”
Evelina lifted a shoulder. “I am sure Papa will be delighted to have her come home, as well. Has he not been asking after her?”
“No,” she replied simply.
Theodora was avoiding him. After seeing him escape with yet another mysterious woman at Anna’s anniversary soiree, she could not handle any more of his secrets.
“It is not like there is much for you and her to do here.” Theodora realized then that while she had drifted away in her own thoughts, Evelina had continued talking.
“Father is rarely around and you both must get lonely.” Theodora sat up under her sister’s gaze and made an effort to rejoin the conversation. “But at least she has you.”
Theodora offered a weak smile. “She does. And we have you. Mother will be so excited to see you here when she arrives.”
That was one truth Theodora knew. Her mother was a fierce protector of her daughters and loved them dearly, even if showing emotion wasn’t her strong suit.
Like her father, her mother was raised to believe any emotion was a sign of weakness.
Where that belief turned their father heartless, it made their mother avoid conflict to protect their family image.
Escaping to Bath annually was her only solace.
The sound of hooves carried in through the open window.
“She is here!” Evelina announced. She grabbed Theodora’s hand and together the girls ran into the hallway to greet their mother.
As they approached the door Lord Dowell called out from his study. “Theodora! A moment, please.”
Theodora’s feet and heart stopped in their tracks. “Go on, I will be right there,” she said to Evelina who was frowning at her.
She took a moment to collect her breath before she turned to go into her father’s study.
“I see your mother is back.” His voice was devoid of any emotion.
She nodded once. “Yes.”
He glanced up from his desk of papers, looking as if it were she who interrupted him and not the other way around. “I expect you will adhere to our prior conversations and not say anything to her.”
A slight buzzing started in between Theodora’s ears. Her heart thumped loudly and her hands became clammy. She wanted to rage against him, demand he come clean, and put this charade to rest.
But instead, she clasped her hands in front of her and swallowed her rage. Once again, she simply nodded. “Yes, Father.”
He dipped his chin. “You may go.” He returned to his work as if she were no longer there.
Theodora stood for a moment. She blinked a few times trying to get her mind to do something with her body other than just stand there.
Lord Dowell raised his eyes again. “Why are you still here? I hear your mother. Go and greet her.”
Theodora said nothing but turned and walked into the hallway. She shut the door behind herself and leaned against it. Fighting back tears, she ran her hands through her hair and tucked in a stray curl that fell from a pin. She wanted to look presentable for her mother.
“There is my girl.” Her mother’s warm voice floated through the hallway and there was an instant balm on Theodora’s wounded heart.
“Mother!” She ran to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.
“Oh my!” Her mother tightened her arms around Theodora. “What a welcome home! Between being surprised that Evelina is here and this hug, well…” Her mother’s words dropped off.
And just like that, the balm that soothed her aching heart disappeared and the heavy weight of her father’s secret bled through her happiness.
She pulled away from her mother, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. Having her mother look at her with appreciation in her eyes was too much for Theodora to bear.
“I missed you very much, Mother. I did not realize what day it was and I forgot I wrote to a friend and said I would visit them. Is it all right if I still go?”
Lady Dowell took Theodora’s hands in hers.
“Of course, my love. Go on with your friends. I am exhausted from traveling. We will catch up tomorrow morning.” She placed a kiss on Theodora’s cheeks then took Evelina’s arm.
The two walked off further into the house together.
Evelina turned and shot her a disapproving look, but Theodora could not stand being around her mother with such a huge lie laying heavily upon her heart and mind.
Theodora ran to her room and sat at her desk. She wrote a letter but squashed it. There was no time to deliver it.
“Mrs. Bellfry!” she called for her most trusted maid.
“Yes, Miss Dowell?” the elderly woman showed up at once.
“Get the butler to arrange a carriage for us.”
“Where to, Miss Dowell?”
Theodora took a deep breath in before she answered. “To Hawthorne House.”
* * *
“If you do not mind waiting in the parlor, I will let His Grace know you are here.”
Theodora and Mrs. Bellfry were led by a dainty older woman who she assumed was his housemaid into the Duke’s study to wait.
Theodora looked around the room, taking in her surroundings.
She always believed the devil was in the details and one could tell a lot about someone when they looked at their trappings.
“Good afternoon, Miss Dowell.” The Duke’s voice suddenly surrounded her.
She turned in surprise, not by his entrance, but because he didn’t use his normal nickname for her.
Since when do I appreciate the nickname?
Shaking the thought from her mind she looked past him. “Good afternoon, Your Grace. Is your sister coming?”
He grimaced and looked at Theodora’s maid. “If you would not mind, my cook is preparing a light meal for us. Would you go check to see when that will be ready?”
Theodora and her maid exchanged a look. Etiquette said this was highly inappropriate, but so was questioning a duke. With a slight bob, Mrs. Bellfry exited the room, leaving her alone with the Scarlet Duke.
Theodora was suddenly aware of her appearance, and she tried to stop wringing her hands in front of her. Her only solace was that the Duke’s sister should be joining them at any moment.
“Please have a seat.” He pointed to a chaise.
She raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Where is your sister?”
He sighed, which seemed to pain him as his hand jolted to his side.
“She will not be joining us today.”
“I knew it!” Theodora said, her eyes widening. “You brought me here for nefarious reasons!” She proclaimed as she marched towards the door.
But the Duke blocked her exit. “No one is being nefarious,” he said, reaching out to stop her.
She gasped at the movement and he dropped his hands. His face drained of color from the apparent pain at his side.
Theodora stopped and looked at him. “What is wrong with you? You look hurt.” Concern washed over her.
A smile spread across his wicked face. “If I am, will you be my nurse?”
“It is quite impressive how you can go from diseased to rakish in a split second. Someone should study that.”
“Perhaps you—” He winced.
“Let me help—”
“No!” He almost shouted and she flinched at the sound of his booming voice.
“I apologize, Miss Dowell. I do need your help, but it is not anything to do with me.”