Chapter 14
“Rosie, Mother and Father have been in an accident…”
Alexander lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the clock tick through the hours.
Midnight passed. Then one. Then two. He turned onto his side and ran a hand through his hair.
Memories of his parents haunted him. The carriage, the blood, and his sister’s cry when he told her the news returned to him time and again, putting sleep out of reach.
He sat up in his bed.
Perhaps I should go for some training.
But even boxing did not feel like a strong enough distraction.
He groaned and pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. This was madness. He allowed his mind to drift to Theodora and their encounter in his library. He could still taste her natural sweetness on the tip of his tongue.
He had kissed and touched women before. He had taken many women to bed as well. But none of it had ever left him restless, burning, and unable to think of anyone else.
So, he pushed the thoughts of her away as well. Alexander looked out of the window and was surprised to find the sun rising over the horizon already.
He sighed.
“Another restless night for the Scarlet Duke,” he muttered and pulled the duvet off his legs.
He had not slept a single minute and that was going to ruin his day, but Alexander had grown accustomed to not sleeping.
Guilt kept him up at night and made him who he was.
He dragged himself out of bed. A bath was drawn for him already and a suit was prepared.
His servants knew the time he rose and slept.
They too had grown accustomed to his restless habits.
Once Alex was dressed, he forced himself down the corridor.
He had no appetite, but he needed to see Rosalind before she began her day.
He walked past her chambers and found her not there. Panic surged through him.
“Where is my sister?” he asked the maid who was cleaning her chamber.
“She left for breakfast, Your Grace.”
Alexander frowned. Rosalind usually skipped breakfast or ate on her own. He rushed to the breakfast room, and there she was, seated at the table with a cup of tea in her hands. She looked up and he froze.
She looked… well rested.
Her eyes were clearer and her posture was straighter. She wore a soft expression which he had not seen for a while, and she looked more alive than she had in weeks.
“Good morning,” she said quietly, and there was a slight lightness in her voice he had not heard in far too long.
“Good morning, Rosie. You are awake early,” he said, taking the seat beside her.
“Yes, I slept well,” she said simply.
He felt a pinch of jealousy. “You slept?”
She nodded. “I was so tired after the walk yesterday that I fell asleep immediately. I didn’t even hear the storm.”
“There was a storm?” he asked, startled.
His own mind was so occupied that he must have missed it.
“A small one,” she said. “But I slept through the entire storm. Mrs. Weller told me all about it.”
He could not believe it as he stared at his sister.
Theodora had been here for one afternoon.
One.
And already Rosalind looked brighter, stronger, and more herself. He felt something warm twist in his chest.
I will be sure to thank her.
“What did you and Miss Dowell speak about yesterday?” he asked, genuinely interested.
“Mostly flowers,” Rosalind replied simply. “And books and science. Nothing important.”
He smiled faintly. “It seems important to me.”
Rosalind shrugged, but her cheeks warmed. “She is… easy to talk to.”
“Yes. She is,” he agreed.
Rosalind sipped her tea. “She said she would come again today.”
His heart jolted when he remembered that Theodora did indeed say that.
“Are you all right with that?” he asked his sister.
Rosalind looked up at him and smiled.
“Yes, she said she would like to make our walks a daily exercise if possible.”
He leaned back in his chair and wondered if Theodora really meant that. He would hate to see Rosalind disappointed but somehow he trusted that Theo would keep her word.
Rosalind watched him curiously. “You look tired.”
Alex chuckled. “Unlike you, little sister, I am unlucky when it comes to sleep,” he admitted, surprising himself.
Rosalind’s eyes dropped to her plate. “I understand.”
He hesitated, afraid that his confession might send her back into her spiraling sadness. He and Rosalind had never truly spoken to each other about their struggles. It was new but Alex could get used to sharing his thoughts if it meant helping her. He would do it for her.
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to apologize to you, Rosie.”
She tilted her head. “What for?”
“I have not been there for you because I had a great deal on my mind lately.”
Rosalind nodded, accepting that without question.
“I understand…I have a lot on my mind as well.”
The siblings exchanged a small, understanding smile as they continued with their breakfast.
“Would you like to play a game of chess with me today, in the drawing room?” he asked.
Rosalind’s eyes lit up. “Yes, I would like that.”
Alexander felt grateful for the change in Rosalind, despite it being small.
He silently promised to be more attentive towards her.
Theodora made an enormous difference in just a day and that amazed him.
Everything about her amazed him. That was why he had not been thinking of any of his responsibilities. Or grief. Or duty.
His mind was occupied by her.
He stared at the doorway, anticipating her walking through it again. He was unsure of the future or what to do with these thoughts, but he knew one thing for certain.
He wanted to feel Theodora again.
* * *
“You can do this, Theo,” Theodora motivated herself as she arrived at Hawthorne House. But her pulse was already unsteady, and her knees felt weak again.
She had barely slept. Every time she closed her eyes, she felt Alexander’s hands on her skin, his breath against her throat, and the way he had pleasured her senselessly in the nook of his armchair.
She had woken before dawn, restless and flushed, her mind a tangle of logic and longing.
Even when she sat to write her notes, she could not do so without her body reacting in ways that were sinful.
As the carriage halted, she reminded herself that she was here for Rosalind and to deliver the cream. She composed herself and said a silent prayer until a footman opened the door, and she stepped out, clutching her notebook and the small jar of cream in her reticule.
The footmen led her to the drawing room.
Theodora noticed that the door was open, and she heard voices inside.
It did not take her long to realize that it was Alexander’s low, steady tone, and Rosalind’s softer one.
Theodora took a moment to admire them as they played a game of chess.
Rosalind looked better than yesterday, and Alexander looked as dashing as ever but she would never admit that.
She observed him for a minute, the way he smiled and seemed more at ease with his sister.
There was something different about him, almost as if he seemed happier.
She inhaled, braced herself as the footmen announced her, and entered.
Both of them looked up when she entered and Alexander stood immediately. The tension between them was instant. His gaze swept over her as though he were remembering every place he had touched her. She felt heat rise in her cheeks as she too undressed him with her eyes.
“Theo,” he said quietly, and her name sounded like a prayer on his lips. She shuddered and responded with a small smile in his direction.
“Miss Dowell,” Rosalind approached her, smiling.
The young girl seemed unsure whether to simply greet her or hug as well, so Theo broke the confusion, placed her book and reticule down, and pulled Rosalind into a tight hug.
“Good morning, dear Lady Rosalind.”
They pulled apart and beamed at each other.
“I shall fetch my bonnet at once!” Rosalind said excitedly and Theo’s heart clenched.
“I am afraid that I cannot stay long today…I have something urgent to attend to at home.”
Rosalind’s smile faltered. Her shoulders dipped, just slightly, but enough for Theo to see the disappointment. And Theo’s heart pinched with guilt. She could not bring herself to look at Alexander. She knew that he would be furious.
Before Rosalind could retreat into herself, Theodora reached for her reticule and pulled out a smaller bound volume that was handwritten and carefully stitched together by herself.
“This is for you,” she said, offering it.
Rosalind reached for the notebook with a slight smile. “Thank you, but what is it?”
“My studies on tea,” Theo said and winked at her. “I thought you might like it after our conversation yesterday.”
Rosalind’s face lit up with a brightness Theo had not seen before. It was rare and beautiful.
“I… I love it,” she whispered, holding the book as though it were something precious. “Thank you.”
Theo smiled as warmth bloomed in her chest. When she finally turned towards Alexander, she saw that he watched them with an unreadable expression.
“Are you sure you cannot stay for tea?” he asked suddenly. “Or lunch?”
Theo shook her head quickly. “No. Truly, I must go.”
Rosalind, still clutching the book, said, “I should… go read this. Thank you again, Miss Dowell.”
She curtsied but before she slipped out of the drawing room, Theo stopped her.
“Lady Rosalind, please know that I only have an emergency to attend to today, but I do not plan to stop our walks at all.”
A sense of relief flashed across her young face. She nodded.
“I look forward to our walks,” she said happily.
Theodora smiled and gave her a tight hug before she left the drawing room. Theo and Alexander were then left alone.
A tense and heavy silence fell upon them like a thick blanket.
Theo’s pulse hammered. Alexander did not step closer. He kept his distance and yet he still affected her so. Her body hummed with the memories of him, and she tried her best to restrain herself.
“Thank you for that,” he said eventually, breaking the silence.
“Yes, well, I did not want to leave her disappointed,” she said, reaching for the reticule and pulling out the cream for Alexander’s wound.
“This is for your bruise.” She held it out to him.
He reached for it and their fingers brushed.
The contact was brief, like a whisper of skin against skin, but it sent a shiver racing up her arm, straight to her throat, her chest, her stomach, and her apex. What they did in his library came back to bite her and she fought the urge to desire more with him.
She snatched her hand back too quickly and Alexander noticed.
His eyes darkened. “Theo, we should talk about—”
“Not now, please,” she replied sharper than intended, and dropped her gaze to the floor. “I have to go.”
“You are avoiding me.”
“I am not.”
“It is fine if you are. But please do not avoid Rosalind.” Theo’s eyes darted back to him and his expression looked pained.
His words struck Theo.
“Do you truly think I would do that?”
He frowned. “Theo, that is not what I meant—”
“I am not a man to forget a young lady in need,” she hissed, the bitterness surprising even herself.
Alexander’s expression shifted to concern and confusion.
“Theodora,” he said gently, “I told you to stay yesterday. I didn’t want you to leave then and I don’t want you to go now.”
She stiffened. “I was not speaking of that but anyway, perhaps you should not have asked me to.”
“Why not?” He stepped closer and she stepped back.
Theodora looked away from him. “Because a scientist does not get attached to her guinea pig.”
She repeated his words sharply and defensively. Her tone sounded cruel and she hated herself for allowing her fury to rise so quickly.
Alexander’s jaw tightened.
“I see,” he said quietly. “Then I will be sure not to invite you to stay again.”
The room felt suddenly colder.
Theo’s throat felt tight. “Thank you for your hospitality.”
She turned towards the door.
“Theodora,” he said behind her.
She stopped in her tracks.
“Thank you for the cream,” he said slowly. “And… good luck with finding whatever it is you are searching for.”
She closed her eyes for a moment before she walked away.