Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
PIERCE
I’d thought being turned into a vampire against my will was the worst thing to ever happen to me, and sure, that was still mostly true . . . because it was still the root of all my problems.
But the truth was, the person I’d become since that party where I’d first met Sweyn was the worst thing that had happened to me. In that moment, when Sweyn had set her eyes on me, I’d made a decision in my mind that I would do whatever I had to do to survive. I may have been new to the world of magic and creatures, but I was still a guy. I knew what she wanted of me. In my mind it was a smart decision. The truth was, I’d hated Maiya the second I had fangs. I loathed her. But in those few days I hadn’t had anywhere else to go. Maiya turned me out of selfishness and jealousy, then didn’t teach me anything. I hadn’t known how to survive as a vampire. I’d been scared, more scared than I knew how to express verbally. It was a soul-wrenching fear.
I hadn’t known the politics of the magical world.
I hadn’t known there was a Vampire Queen before she walked into that party.
I hadn’t known Lilith was real, and I surely hadn’t known the true story. No human did.
Potentially more importantly, I hadn’t known about The Coven of witches who protected the world from evil.
Perhaps if I’d known all of these things, I would have made a different decision in that moment when Sweyn gave me that choice.
Choice. It was a tricky word. Watching Sweyn turn innocent humans in New Orleans last night triggered a bit of an existential crisis. More like a panic, honestly. In the hours since, I’d been looping every moment of my life since Maiya sauntered up to me in that jazz club. It’d taken me about an hour to convince myself that being turned wasn’t a choice, that it was one-hundred-percent not consensual, and that none of my decisions or actions prior to that were worth re-hashing. It wasn’t my fault, so I wasn’t going to go there.
Problem was, with that decision made, I’d spent the next few hours looping over the question of whether I actually had a choice with Sweyn. If my only option besides sex was death, was that considered a choice? In my mind I gave consent. I chose that path. But did it count? It was a question of ethics, most likely. Or maybe it was psychology. I didn’t know. Nor did I know how other people would view my decision. In the end, I decided it had been my decision. And even now, knowing all the things I did, I wouldn’t change that decision.
Death would have been easier.
Death would have been peaceful and painless.
But death would have been the end, and I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel yet. Even while I was still devastated by my new existence as a vampire, I didn’t want to die. I wanted the chance to find my footing as a fanger. To find my new life. To build a new future. Immortality terrified me, but I wanted more than three days to find comfort with it. I felt protective of my immortality, I was going to cling to it with every fiber of my being, no matter what I had to do. To me, that was consent. I’d found a certain level of peace with that.
The problem was . . . that decision wasn’t what bothered me. That decision gifted me with a chance at life and I would never regret it. My problem was the decisions I’d made since I got to Avolire, more specifically the ones made outside of Sweyn’s bed. I genuinely didn’t mind my activities with Sweyn. It was much more enjoyable than my time with Maiya. I’d known my time with her was temporary, I was determined to get the hell out of here—even before I knew the truth on the state of the world. The war with Lilith. I was going to fight on The Coven’s side and bring this whole kingdom of blood down to ashes.
I just needed to stay out of Azazel’s bed.
And stop summoning more fallen angels.
Actually, I needed to start looking for a way to get out.
Especially that last part. The getting out. I’d told myself escaping from the tundra of Avolire was going to be incredibly difficult. The mountains of snow between me and freedom were not figurative. I hadn’t the slightest idea how to actually get to safety if I were to try and make a run for it. If I were smart, I would’ve bolted while we were in New Orleans. We’d been in the middle of Jackson Square, in the heart of the city . . . in the heart of my city. Sure, I was from England, but I’d lived in New Orleans for quite a long time now. I knew that city, every inch of it. All the nooks and crannies—or at least the human parts of it. I could have gotten out of Sweyn’s grip before she’d even finished turning all those humans and noticed I was gone. But I’d been just as distracted as she had by Everest and his crew. Discovering my suspicions about Braison’s loyalty to The Coven was true was not a surprise, however learning Malik, Saber, and that Libby person were against Sweyn had shocked me quite a bit. But Everest? I was still rattled by that revelation and part of me didn’t believe it still.
Right, pull yourself together, Pierce. She’ll smell your betrayal like a shark sensing blood in the water.
I stopped outside the doors for court and focused on my breathing. An erratic pulse wasn’t going to help me. Escaping her clutches wasn’t going to happen tonight, so I needed to keep my cool. If I was calm and focused, I’d have a better chance of planning a real escape. It was just before sunset and the steel shutters hadn’t even rolled up yet, but I knew she was in there. I didn’t want to see her, but I didn’t want her to sneak up on me either. I needed to just confirm if my services were required this evening. Ever since the Unseelies had arrived, she’d barely paid attention to me. I wanted to be ready to use that to my advantage.
Just as I was reaching for the door handle, it swung open in my face. I leapt back to avoid being hit but a pale hand snagged the edge of the door, stopping it an inch from my nose. The Unseelie Prince leaned over, then glared down at me. My pulse quickened. My body locked in place as I just stared. The Unseelies were cold aliens that made me uncomfortable. But this one was different. His black eyes weren’t soulless like the others. There was depth and passion, even if his aura was dark and menacing. There was something intoxicating about him though, especially this close.
He gripped the front of my white cashmere sweater and dragged me against his chest. Every muscle in my body tensed, bracing itself for pain. His long black hair swept across my shoulder and an involuntary shiver ripped through me. Those black eyes narrowed. He leaned in with bared teeth and inhaled , like he was smelling me. I froze.
He growled and threw me away from him like I’d attacked him. Without another word, he stormed away.
I stumbled back to brace myself on the wall as my pulse scrambled to catch up to itself. After a few moments, I smoothed a hand over my sweater, then pulled the door open. My feet stopped on the threshold. The sight before me was downright pornographic. Sweyn was naked and sprawled on her ice throne while four Unseelie knights ravished her body with their own. Wait, five. Five knights are servicing her right now. There was no jealousy, just overwhelming relief. I glanced around and almost rolled my eyes to see her entire court sitting around the show, just watching. I shut the door and scurried away before an orgy started and I was dragged in.
With Sweyn distracted, I raced for the front door. It was bold and stupid and yet I couldn’t help myself. But when I pushed the doors open, I found my way completely blocked. The snow wasn’t my biggest problem, either. A row of Sentinels formed a line between me and the archway, which meant the shutters had lifted and the vampires were coming out to play. With a defeated sigh, I went back inside. It was just as well. I needed a game plan. A strategy. I hurried down the hall to Lord Braison’s room. The door was open, so I walked in and then slid to a stop. Saber straddled his hips as she drank from the vein in his throat. My face heated. I ran out of there and went to Malik’s room, my next best guess for help. His door was also open, but this time I crept inside quietly.
“You have done my family a great honor, Malik,” Shi-Shi said with a thick voice. “I am indebted to you forever.”
“That’s not necessary. I’m just glad I was there that night.” Malik groaned. “And I am glad she wasn’t here when . . . when . . .”
“I know, me too. But she is safe and that is all that matters.”
I grimaced. Shi-Shi was that other girl’s aunt. I couldn’t remember her name, but she was the one Tegan had pretended to be. Their conversation was private, so I slipped back into the hallway—and choked on my own saliva. Libby stood just in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest and a fire blazing in her silver eyes.
“Excuse me?” I gestured for the space in front of me that she blocked.
She didn’t speak, just turned to the side to let me through. I jumped around her and into a half-run down the hall, but each time I glanced behind me, she stood in the hallway in the same position, making the same face.
The door to my right opened and Everest emerged. He threw his arm out and caught me, then pulled me into the door. “Sam’s inside. Good place for you tonight.” He tapped my shoulder, then vanished into shadow.
“Pierce, is that you?”
I flinched and then turned toward her voice. “Hey, yeah, um . . . can I come in?”
“Yeah, please do!” she shouted, though I couldn’t see her. When I did finally spot her, I found her sitting near the stained-glass outer windows with streams of moonlight sweeping across her face. She was unbelievably beautiful. Those pale golden and red eyes were— staring right at me. She smiled. “Hi, Pierce.”
“Hi, Sam.” My face was on fire.
“What’s up, Pierce?”
I cleared my throat and glanced around. “Can I hide out here with you?”
Her smile widened into a full grin. “Goddess, yes. Please sit. Keep me company. I just ordered a bunch of room service, so this is good—wait, you hungry?”
“Yeah, I could eat for sure.” I sat down and let out a breath I’d been holding. “What’d you get?”
She leaned forward and giggled. “She turned a chef from New Orleans, and while I do not approve, I can’t help but want to die over his food. I had beignets over lunch, and oh my Goddess, I could have died.”
My stomach tightened into knots. “What’s his name?”
“I have no idea.” She pursed her lips. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, nothing . . . I’m just . . . I’m from New Orleans, so I was curious if I’ve had his food before?—”
“You’re from NOLA? Not England?”
“Well, England to start. Clearly. But then we moved here when I was young, and NOLA became home.”
“We? You have family in NOLA still?”
My face fell. I shook my head. “I’m an orphan, have been for a little bit now?—”
“ Me too, ” she whispered and reached over to squeeze my hand. “But we don’t have to be. We have each other now . . . for eternity. What do you say?”
“That sounds lovely. I say it’s nice to have someone.” I gave her a small smile. “So, you’re from Florida?”
“Born and raised.” She used both arms to make a chomping motion. Then she leaned forward and wagged her eyebrows. “So, do you miss it? Being a human?”
I sighed and rested my elbows on her table. “Yes. But in fairness, I haven’t gotten much help with my life as a vampire.”
“RIGHT!” She threw her hands up. “They just turned me and put me on a leash, but it’s like one of those really long ones where I have a false sense of freedom while not knowing a damn thing.”
“She turned me and stuck me in a cage. I’m lucky if I get words in a full sentence and level breathing,” I grumbled.
Sam snort-laughed. Then I realized what I’d just said and burst into laughs with her. For a moment we just lost it. Together.
As her laughs faded away, she leaned forward again and whispered, “ On a scale of one to ten—one being absolutely no way, not—how badly do you want to escape and switch teams in this fight?”
“Ten,” I whispered back without hesitation. Then my eyes widened. “I mean . . . what was the question?”
Her gold and red eyes sparkled wickedly. “Don’t worry, beautiful. I was going to say twenty.”
My breath left me in a rush. I had so many questions, but before I could speak, the door to her room opened and one of the servers pushed a fancy cart in. I leaned back and licked my lips. The food smelled incredible . . . It smelled like my life before all of this.
The server, whose name I didn’t know, began sitting plates on the table between me and Sam. “The chef has delivered for you a sampling of gumbo, jambalaya, po'boys, Crawfish Etouffee, and of course beignets. Also, a bottle of red wine. Will you be needing anything else, mistress?”
“That’s all. Thank you.” Sam gave him a tight-lipped smile and watched him leave. Once the door shut and we were alone again, she turned to me with a giddy grin. “So, Pierce, tell me everything about your life before it was stolen from you.”
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “Deal. Now spill.”