Atlas
I don’t want you to leave.
That’s what I should’ve said back in the house. I wish it were only about spreading her legs and burying myself inside her until she forgets how to put them back together. Then it would be simple.
But it’s not. It’s that, and the fact I bask in her company.
Summer’s been staring out the passenger window for ten straight minutes without saying a word, and it feels like an eternity. She always has something to say, and I’m happy to hear it, even if it’s an insult.
“Why so quiet?” I ask when I can no longer take the silence.
She hums absentmindedly, barely registering my question. I wish I knew the thoughts roaming that pretty little head of hers.
“Maybe I’m too traumatized.”
“Sure. I felt how traumatized you are. Your pussy is a snitch.”
She turns away from me again, but I can bet my left nut she’s hiding a smile.
I let the silence stretch before admitting what’s been on my mind since I introduced her to my friends.
“You fit right in.”
Summer rubs her palms on her legs but refrains from commenting.
“With me. With my friends. It was the same with your brother and his friends, wasn’t it? That’s what you meant by troublemaker. Our kind of troublemaker.”
Pulling the hem of the shirt, she folds it between her fingers, stealing a glance through the passenger window, before turning to face me.
“My brother and his friends were pretty much your type of crowd, so yeah . . . that’s why I fit in. Because it’s all I’ve ever known.”
She keeps fiddling with the fabric of my shirt.
“He was so protective of me.”
“Tell me more,” I prompt when her hesitation to continue drags on for too long.
“Boys didn’t dare to look at me. They wouldn’t even say my name.
All of them referred to me as Milo’s sister.
” She flinches upon uttering her brother’s name, and it takes her a moment to find her voice again.
“Can you guess what happened to the first boy to ever kiss me? I was fourteen, and Milo knocked a tooth out of his mouth,” Summer says, turning her whole body toward me and tapping her index finger on one of her top incisors.
She’s adorable when she does that. I should definitely check my head because everything she does is either sexy as hell or adorable.
“I don’t know what he threatened the boy with that day to make him tell his parents it was a skateboarding accident, but there were no repercussions for my brother.
After that, no one wanted to risk it with me.
It took more than two whole years for my brother’s best friend to do so.
When Milo found out, he tied him to a boat, completely naked, and left him in the middle of a lake for twenty-four hours.
They were still friends after that, but the guy didn’t even look at me when I was around.
I used to be so mad at my brother for chasing away everyone who ever tried to get close to me. ”
Why do I have a different take on her brother’s motives?
“He wasn’t chasing them away,” I note without taking my eyes off the road, but she turns to face me in an instant. “He was testing them.”
“Testing them?”
“If they’d kept coming back after the beatings, they would’ve proven they were worthy. He wanted someone willing to bleed for you.”
I peel my eyes away from the road to take in her expression. She swallows hard before turning away, hiding her face once more.
“I’ve never . . . thought of it that way.
” Summer goes silent again for what seems like a never-ending minute, but I give it to her.
She’ll need more time to process this, to understand the new perspective of how deep her brother’s love ran.
“Regardless, Milo would’ve killed you for what you did to me tonight. ”
“He would’ve tried. We would’ve fought. And I would’ve earned the right to keep you.”
“First of all,” she whips around to face me, “I’m not property you can keep. And second, you’re bonkers if you think there’s a scenario in which my brother would’ve been okay to see you treat me like this.”
“I never said you’re property, but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep you.
And your brother would’ve seen both a man willing to fight him for you, and you—unwilling to defend yourself.
Not because you can’t, but because you won’t.
Because you like me that much. You had both a knife and a taser, and you didn’t use them on me. That says more than words ever could.”
“I haven’t used them on you, yet,” Summer retorts, making my heart skip a beat with excitement. Her threats are so effortless, but now, those are empty words. She wouldn’t hurt me. Hit me with a bat, stab me with a fork, maybe, but not really hurt me.
“Atlas . . .” My name sounds too good falling from her lips.
“Yes, honey?”
I eye her long enough for her to force my attention back on the road.
“Tell me about your brother.”
Outside of my closest circle, I don’t even mention my brother. It’s hard to talk about him. But when I look at Summer again, the desire to let her in on this very personal topic is all over her face.
My gaze shifts ahead, seemingly ignoring her question, like I’ve already decided not to answer. I don’t need to look at her to know how disappointed she must be that she gave me a precious piece of her past, and I refuse to do the same. But she doesn’t comment on it.
The periphery of my vision catches her shifting in her seat once more, turning her back to me, closing herself off. I can’t allow that. I don’t want to.
“Noah was nothing like me.” That’s what I admit.
A simple truth to keep her from retreating back into her shell.
The way she looks at me makes choosing to focus on the road rather than on her an impossible task.
“He was a pure soul, so much so that every attempt my father made to corrupt him failed. Despite the monster we both grew up around, my brother always found ways to keep the good inside him alive, to hold onto his principles and face everything with a sense of humor. He was a lot like Carter in that sense. Always ready to use a joke, no matter if the situation was far from humorous. Noah . . . he was the ray of light in a house of darkness. Without him, my father got to mold only one monster. And if you ask him—”
I cut myself off in time, because I’m not even good enough isn’t what she should ever hear.
Silence settles for as long as she’ll allow it, leaving me seething with regret for the path this conversation took.
“I don’t see a monster,” Summer states with so much conviction, breaking the suffocating quiet.
“You became what you needed to survive, but you didn’t let your father corrupt you the way he wanted.
That makes you stronger than him. And your brother sounds like he was a great guy. I wish I’d known him.”
“I’m sure I would’ve liked your brother, too.”
“Before or after him attempting to murder you?”
Summer makes me chuckle, lifting a bit of the heaviness from our conversation.
Resting my hand on her leg, I squeeze that soft skin before letting it glide up her thigh. She allows me, and for a second, her hand lands over mine. A single moment before she retreats, like she regrets her actions.
The purr of the engine and the hum of traffic fill the rest of the drive to her place. My hand on her leg, her glancing at me from time to time, and our conversation settling deep into my mind.
I park the car near her dorm, and I’m in no hurry to let go of her, nor is she to get away from me.
“Why are you doing all of this?” she asks, choosing to stare ahead instead of where I always want her gaze—on me.
I do want to toy with her, not let her in on my little secret that I find her fascinating.
“Maybe I’m bored. Maybe that’s my idea of having fun with you.”
She clutches the door handle, a second away from slipping out. But I don’t want her to get to her room thinking she’s a toy for my amusement.
“Or maybe”—I grab her arm to stop her from leaving the car—“just maybe . . . I like you.”
Her grip on the handle loosens, and she turns to face me with an expression on an entirely different plane of gloating.
“Really?! And what is it you might hypothetically like about me?”
“Besides the fact you’re stunning and smart?”
“This kind of flattery will get you nowhere with me.” She turns to grab the handle once more when I decide to lay out everything else that pulls me to her.
“You don’t back down.” She stills, her attention returning to me, the faint curve at her lips urging me to continue.
“You’re a vicious little viper who’s not afraid of me.
Determined. Exciting and unpredictable. A little crazy.
Or more like a lot, matching my own insanity perfectly.
And amidst all of this, you can always make me smile. ”
“Careful, baby! Sounds like you like me a lot.”
Summer can take my soul with the playful look she offers.
“Yeah . . . sounds like it.”
She pries the truth out of me with effortlessness.
“All your sweet words won’t save you from my retaliation for tonight.”
And of course, it wouldn’t be her if she doesn’t threaten me.
“I’m not getting tied to your bed again. Not unless you wanna get kinky with me.”
“Do you think I’m that predictable?”
Those are the last words she says before stepping out of my car.
I should let her get back to her dorm, but my unwillingness to part from her this soon makes me dart out, pacing to catch up.
I sneak an arm around Summer’s waist, but she slaps it away instantly.
Can’t say she’s learned her lesson of not denying me what’s mine.
“Why the fuck are you following me, puppy? You’re not getting inside my room tonight.”