Chapter 17 Karia #2
My skin crawls even though his words aren’t that frightening.
Maybe it’s the memory of what I desperately wanted to do for Sullen just before the power went out again when we were cloistered in that shower together.
The sensation of nearly having everything I had wanted for years, only to have it ripped away in the most macabre form.
“In the morning, I have to speak to him,” Sanford presses.
I shake my head once, standing more fully in the doorway as if I will physically block his entrance, and if he tried to push past me, I would.
“You abandoned him. You didn’t choose him.
You left him to be tortured by a psychopath for over two decades.
What makes you think you have any right to barge into his life now, leading us to a place we should avoid at all costs? ”
He steps closer, his expression unreadable in the same way Sullen’s can be. The hairs along my neck stand on end as his tall, wiry form blocks some of the sconce’s light in the hallway, eclipsing us in a semi-darkness.
I grit my teeth and refuse to step back as I lift my chin, holding eye contact.
“Yes, very well. And what did you do, Princess Karia Ven? How did you save him? You both lived on Ritual Drive, did you not? You were closer to him than I was. How did you defend Sullen all those years?”
Shame washes over me, a sick feeling twisting in my stomach.
“I didn’t know… everything.” My voice is weak, because it’s the worst excuse.
I could have guessed enough. I could have…
tried to find out. I always get what I want.
Why didn’t I press harder, with him? But I don’t retreat and I don’t look away.
I am old enough to understand more, now.
And I grew up under Writhe. It’s hard to manipulate the daughter of professional criminals, even if Sanford was once one himself.
“And you are Stein’s father. I was a child. Sullen and I are the same age.”
“Yes, but born in adjacent years. You in June after him, and him on Devil’s Night.
” He says this merely as an observation, but I am surprised he knows so much about me.
“You see, pretending to be my son’s dog has had its rewards.
I was fed information. Scraps, if you will.
” He arches a brow, as if I should find this amusing, but I say nothing.
“You’re correct. I am Stein’s father, I should have done more.
” There is a distant quality to his voice as he says that, and for the first time, I wonder how much he regrets.
“But I was too cowardly to try, even years after Juliet…” He trails off, as if he physically can’t finish.
“Sometimes, it seemed like there was no use fighting against him.” He looks away, turning his gaze down the corridor, unfocused.
After a moment of tense silence between us, he faces me once more.
“Initially, I was heavily guarded. But as years wore on… When you are a captive, you begin to believe the walls of your cage are where the world begins and ends. You forget there is something bigger, something more. You find contentment in tatters. Solace in any visitor, even if it is your warden. I started to worship my son, because he was the only god I could see.”
Disgust slides beneath my skin like a razor under my nails and I can’t fight against the shudder that overtakes my body. But there is a sliver of me which does not believe a word he speaks. Pretender, duplicity; both come to mind.
If Sanford notices, he says nothing, and even though he is looking at me, I’m not entirely certain it’s me he’s speaking to.
“But he inadvertently built up a portrait of Sullen in my head, as he grew. Even Stein couldn’t resist seeing something good in him, despite the fact he tortured and teased it whenever he could.
He fed Sullen nothing but hatred, pain, humiliation.
And yet something good still grew in his soul.
” He glances past me once more and I have the urge to leap for my monster, cover his body and shield him with my own, preventing anyone cruel from so much as gazing at him ever again.
I am trembling with the need to do so, and a whimper escapes my lips that I don’t want to take back. It is as if all the things I feel for Sullen have built so vastly inside my bones that I have no more room and they need to be spoken out loud, even if only in murmurs.
Slowly, Sanford’s gaze comes to mine. He studies me for a long moment and then he says, “He’s safe with you tonight, Karia.”
He looks as if he wants to add something else, but there is a creak down the hall.
I jump, on high alert, dreading the sight of Stein coming to steal this night once more, but when a voice speaks as Sanford turns toward the sound, I’m relieved to hear a woman.
“Is there anything I can do for you, dear?”
Dear.
I snort, but Sanford’s lips are parted and he takes a small step back, to welcome the woman into our huddle.
When she appears, her eyes don’t leave Sanford’s.
Dressed in a black hotel uniform with ornate burgundy trim, her white hair contrasts against it in a pleasing way, her pale face lined with age—sixty or so if I had to guess—and her clear blue eyes only for Sanford.
She’s curvy, round, and he seems to be drinking in every inch of her.
Oh my.
I mumble something that sounds like, “Goodnight,” then quickly close the door as Sanford doesn’t even spare me a glance.
I latch the deadbolt, then the top lock. I keep my palms pressed to the black, shiny wood of the heavy door as I bow my head and close my eyes for one second, just breathing in the darkness of my spacious room with Sullen.
The murmur of voices fades, alongside footsteps walking away, and I’m relieved Sanford and the employee aren’t going to continue their tryst right outside. Jesus Christ.
But before I can press myself away from the door and contemplate showering and brushing my teeth and next steps and plans, Sullen’s raspy voice comes from the darkness.
“Karia,” he says in a low tone. “Come here.”
And with those words, I don’t think about anything but giving in.