Chapter 36
Karia
Ihear the Jeep before I see it. I have ridden with Isadora enough times to memorize the sound.
My heart lurches as I glance out the front windows and see headlights aimed towards me. The day has passed suspiciously quiet, but there is something in the way Sullen has carried himself today that has soothed my fears.
He is different than he was only days before.
I smile where no one can see, bringing my fingers to my lips.
He is different since he fucked me.
I find him before Isa can come to the door, and when he looks up from his chair in the library, a novel between his fingers, a frown marks his brow.
“Isa and Von are here.” I assume. Why the rest of them—Stein and his demonic army—haven’t arrived yet is beyond me, although thoughts of Sullen’s death day and the prognosticator Stein went to see rattle inside my head. But if Isa and Von are here, well, we’re our own army, aren’t we?
And we aren’t running anymore.
Sullen closes the book and gets to his feet, leaving Dracula behind. Tension is in every line of his broad body. He looks as if he is heading into battle, and I know that he has been taught to always look for threats first when someone arrives.
One day, I hope I can teach him a different sort of greeting. Maybe one where I drop to my knees for him.
He passes by me, his fingers grazing my shoulder, and I follow him to the entrance hall. Seeing him lead makes my heart beat too fast.
I might worship him more, when this is all over. And I did not think that was possible.
He peers through the peephole when we hear commotion on the other side of the door, then he unbolts all the locks and gingerly pulls it open.
Despite the fact they are my friends—or were, at least—I let him do everything.
The cold October air rolls in and I shiver, folding my arms over my chest as Von and Isa appear on the expansive porch, night sky spreading behind them in the quiet. They are dressed much like me, all in black, Isa’s hair in a crown of braids atop her head.
Von’s gray eyes narrow as he sees Sullen Bram Rule standing like a guard in the doorway. His limbs go still, but then he exhales.
And the first thing he says is, “I’m sorry.”
I think I might faint.
Sullen’s back stiffens. Isa is shoulder to shoulder with Von, and she nods as if in agreement with his words.
“I should have believed her.” Von’s gaze flickers to me but he settles his sight back on Sullen. “I should have helped you. We were cowards.”
I clench my teeth to keep my mouth from falling open because truthfully, I thought this would be one more fight, even if they were on my side.
“But we’re here now.” Isa’s words.
“And where are they?” I cut in. “Your parents? Mine?”
Von looks at me again. It is as if he wants to step close, come inside and embrace me. But Sullen doesn’t move.
“You look… good,” Von says slowly, eyeing me up and down. “But also terrible?”
Sullen makes a noise deep in his throat.
I lift my brows. “He doesn’t think so.”
Von grins. “Sorry,” he mutters.
Isa huffs a laugh.
“They aren’t coming,” Von says, finally answering me.
“Because this is for you.” His eyes are locked on mine as he speaks each word.
And we both know, no matter what it looks like, Writhe allowing me to handle this all my own is the highest form of respect they could have given me. “I almost asked Mads to reconsider.”
His father. I know what that would have cost his pride.
“But Isa told me you’d handle it and Mads would make it messy.”
“She doesn’t need him,” Sullen says, his tone even.
My heart swells with his words but I stare at Isa. A hardass. The most ruthless asset Writhe has. We trained beside one another but between us, only she took it seriously. Takes it seriously. Letting me do this on my own is better than any apology she could give.
“But you two are here,” I say, like I need confirmation or clarity.
“Not from Writhe.” Isa looks back at me. “From friendship.” She glances at Sullen, and I know what that word means to him and how it has been tangled inside his head. “I won’t apologize again. He did enough of that.” She nudges Von. “But he meant it. From both of us.”
Sullen slowly nods once. Then he shifts aside and says, “Come in.”
“Tell us everything,” Isa says as they step inside. “I don’t know exact dates or hours, but we likely don’t have much time.”
We go over everything again in one of the dining rooms. Isadora is relentless with her questions, and then she asks how we want this all to end. The last is the easiest to answer, and I don’t use words.
I just look at her.
At some point, Maude brings coffee. She doesn’t pour Sullen’s, which is good for her fucking health. I let him share mine.
Elliot looks to be making mental notes, like the Harvard protégé he is. In a yellow sweater and deep brown pants, he’s dressed as if he is prepping for academia.
We don’t hide any of this from the Emporium dinner party anymore. If they’re willing to risk their lives, they can listen in, even if Maude pisses me off by virtue of her existence. Writhe will have to deal with their knowledge later.
Fleet appears with food and a cloud of marijuana haze.
Bacon and eggs on a massive plate, and he serves each of us like he’s a waiter, but he keeps snorting with subtle amusement each time he doles out our portions.
I hear his stomach growl when he puts orange juice in front of me.
A grin curves his lips when we make eye contact and I can’t help my own loud laughter.
Sullen, beside me now, squeezes my thigh. When I meet his gaze, I see a warning. He still is not quite sure that he is all I want. I lean over and press my lips to his brow, in front of everyone.
The room seems to go still.
But he relaxes. And that is all I care about.
Alivia does not sit with us. She is in the library, and that seems to be her preference in any building she is in, given the fact she’s referenced Alexandria University’s library half a dozen times.
Cosmo is alone in a room. He has not seen Von or Isadora, and he seems to have no intention to do so, although it was their communication which brought them here.
Sullen has checked on him several times himself—at my request, knowing he’d rather do it than allow me to alone—and all he says to me is he’s “fine.” I’m sure he isn’t, knowing what he does about Klein, but we have bigger problems at the moment.
Besides, I will not be his psuedo-therapist. Not anymore.
And, I have to admit, he is no longer mine, either.
When my throat hurts from going back and forth with Isadora, I push up from the table and tell Sullen I am going to the bathroom. He looks as if he wants to follow me, but he must see something in my gaze.
The need for a moment of solitude.
It doesn’t matter how well I have rehearsed the layout of this house with Isa, or the fact we should outnumber Stein and his men.
We are kids playing at war, and they know this house, too.
Better than most of us, save for Sullen.
And I am just now envisioning a future with my monster boy and I am terrified it will be destroyed by our deaths.
I head down the darkened corridor to one of the guest bathrooms, but before I can get there, a shadow appears ahead of me. For a moment, my heart lurches in my chest and I think to scream for Sullen, but then I see Von’s icy eyes.
He stops before me, close enough I see shadows nestled above his cheekbones. Then I lower my gaze and realize he is holding something out for me.
A cellphone. His, I assume.
I frown in the darkness, and he nods toward the device. “There’s a missed call. A voicemail.” He dips his chin. “It’s for you.”
I swallow hard, and without taking the phone, I am sure I know who it is, which makes me want to take it less.
Von inclines his head toward the gloomy bathroom beside me. “Listen in there. I’ll wait.”
I don’t move. I do not think I want to hear it.
“Karia,” he says softly. “We don’t know what will happen tonight or in the next few days.” He shrugs once. “Just listen. You don’t have to call him back.”
I hold his gaze. “We don’t know,” I agree. “But you’re still here.”
A muscle in his jaw jumps. “You’re my friend. And me and Isa aren’t cowards anymore.”
I smile at that, and I swipe the phone from his palm. “Thank God,” I tell him, trying to be flippant, then I enter the bathroom, flick on the light, and shut and lock the door behind me.
The screen is unlocked. The message from Antwine Ven is there, and I see it is a minute long.
What could he possibly say in sixty seconds that would change anything between us?
I lift my gaze at the same time I lift the phone to my ear.
I stare at my reflection—the all black, the lines under my eyes, my hair braided back—and I play the message as my heart thunders too fast inside my chest.
“Karia.” My name breaks in my father’s mouth.
There is a shaky breath. “I know where you are. Von and Isa told me. And he’s meant to tell you that we are not coming.
” Another tremor in his voice. “I thought you would prefer it, but every piece of me hates staying away.” There’s a pause and I want to throw the phone into the mirror but I force myself to keep listening.
“I am sorry I didn’t listen to you. I was wrong. We all were. And I can’t promise I can fix it, you know how work is, and how it’s always been.”
Work. I curl my fingers tighter around the phone and try not to scream.
“But you deserve to know I would do so many things differently if I could go back. And not just to the hotel, but to the beginning. When you were born. You were—are—so precious to us. Please don’t forget, when Writhe seems louder than everything else, you are what’s really our pride. I’m sorry, baby.”
Another pause. My heart is heavy.
And then he begins to cry. It is the softest sound, barely audible. Shaky and quiet, but I hear it.
“I love you,” he says through tears, the words strangled in his throat.
Then the message ends.
I inhale deep and stand there for so long, phone pressed to my ear, I lose track of the time entirely. I once wanted my parents to choose me first, before the cult. But now it doesn’t matter. I have someone who always will.
After I’m done in the bathroom, I walk out with dry eyes, and hand the phone over to Von.
We don’t speak.