Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
O nce inside the tent, when a bout of fresh sobbing overtook her, she was surprised to find herself folded into Ewan’s strong arms and pressed against the broad expanse of his chest, wetting his waistcoat with her tears. At that moment, she forgot he was the enemy, the man who had given the order for the slaughter she had just witnessed. She trusted him and clung to him, grateful for the comfort his strong, warm body offered.
“There, there, let the tears come,” he told her soothingly, rubbing gentle circles on her back. “Once they’re all out, then ye’ll feel better about it all.”
After she had stopped weeping, he made her sit at the table and took off her boots for her. Then he gave her a dram of whisky and stood over her while she drank it. The golden liquor crept through her veins, warming her and giving her enough strength to compose herself somewhat.
“Seein’ men killed is never easy, but that’s what war is,” he told her as he made tea and set it before her. “What was it that upset ye so much? Was it the blood?”
She wondered how to answer without giving herself away. Deciding not to mention her parents’ murder, she finally nodded and said, “Aye, there was so much blood! And the screamin’, ugh, it was terrible tae hear. I’ll never forget those sounds, and the smells either. Seein’ it like that was a shock. I didnae expect tae feel this way.”
That was the truth at least, and she was still shaking from seeing death meted out to Gregory’s men so ruthlessly before her very eyes. But she suspected she would have felt the same if it had been Ewan’s men being killed. Killing, war, it was all the same, bringing suffering, misery, and death.
“Aye, such things linger in the minds of even the most hardened warriors, those that have a heart at any rate. Others enjoy the spillin’ of blood. Them, I’ll never understand.”
“Me neither,” she agreed sadly, thinking of Laird Allan, whom she suspected was one of those men. Why has he nae sent reinforcements already? she wondered angrily. Without an answer she turned her thoughts instead to Gregory’s unfortunate slain men and what their bid for freedom could mean. “Why d’ye think they tried tae escape?” she asked, looking up at Ewan over the rim of her metal mug.
“The siege is beginnin’ tae bite, and they’re runnin’ low on supplies, I’m guessin’,” he replied. “Galbraith’s been waitin’ tae hear back from Allan about those reinforcements since before the siege began, but they still havenae arrived. Things must be getting’ pretty uncomfortable behind those walls by now. Galbraith believes I killed the first messenger he sent tae Allan, so he thinks the reason why the reinforcements have nae come yet is because of that. Nay doubt his plan was fer those warriors tae get through, or some of them at least.”
Isla was suddenly curious at his choice of words. “Why d’ye say Galbraith “believes” ye killed the first messenger?”
“Well, ye were there at the castle gates. Ye heard me tell him so,” he replied, now seated opposite her, sipping his mug of tea.
“But is it true?” she asked.
“Nay. That was just a useful lie. His man got though all right. As far as I ken, he’s still lookin’ fer Allan tae ask fer help. And findin’ the man when ye want him is nay easy task.”
“So, Laird Allan’s reinforcements could be on their way here even as we speak?” Isla asked, working to conceal her excitement. There is hope!
However, Ewan’s small laugh challenged her new optimism. “Aye, they could be. But I’d take an educated guess and say they arenae.”
“What makes ye so sure of that?”
“Och, I’m nae sure of anythin’ in this situation. But I ken what sort of man Allan is, I ken how he thinks. He’s predictable tae a certain degree. He daes what suits him, and that’s what I’m wagerin’ on.”
“What? Are ye sayin’ that even if Galbraith’s messenger finds him, he’ll nae send any troops?”
“Aye, that’s exactly what I’m sayin’. In fact, I’d bet me granny’s teeth that Galbraith’s messenger is lyin’ dead face down in a ditch somewhere by now. Or soon will be.”
Isla could not prevent the gasp that burst from her lips. Ewan looked at her with sympathy in his dark brown eyes, clearly misunderstanding her shock at his suggestion that Allan would murder Gregory’s messenger and ignore the plea for urgent assistance. His next words, earnestly spoken, confirmed it. “There’s naethin’ tae fear. Ye dinnae need tae worry about havin’ tae fight in the battle if Allan’s men dae come before the siege ends. Whatever happens, I’ll make sure ye’re safe.”
“Thank ye,” she replied, touched by his reassurance, while her mind raced with thoughts of Allan’s possible betrayal. It was something she had not considered before, and she was certain Gregory had not either. If he had, he might have given more consideration Ewan’s invitation to talk peace.
However, she recalled the shouted conversation between the two lairds outside the castle gates. Ewan had made his distrust of Allan very clear to Gregory when trying to coax him into peace talks. Gregory had responded by calling him a liar and a thief, rejecting his claims that Allan was criminal who had stolen part of Ballentine lands and would betray Gregory’s faith in him as a reliable ally.
“Ye think Laird Allan will betray Galbraith, is that it?” she asked.
“I’m bankin’ on it.”
The notion chilled her through and through. During her days spent with Ewan walking about the camp, talking strategy with Colin and his serjeants, she had come to respect his abilities as a commander. Enemy or not, she always found his judgment sound.
Besides that, she had seen his disappointment when Gregory had rebuffed his invitation to make peace. He had made it plain he preferred to avoid bloodshed, hence his choice of a siege instead of a battle. It chimed so completely with her own views, she had to admire the trait. If he seriously believed Allan would betray Gregory’s trust, then she was inclined to believe him.
“Why? What d’ye think he’s plannin’ tae dae?” she asked.
“I think he’s plannin’ tae wait until his spies tell him both of our sides are weakened, and then he’ll bring his men. He’ll try tae kill me and me and me men, so he can take over me clan, of course.” His face was impassive as he spoke.
That’s what Gregory hopes fer. That’s what I should be hopin’ fer too.
Yet the thought of Ewan lying dead in his own blood on the field, like Gregory’s warriors, was unexpectedly painful to her. And though she was secretly plotting his assassination by her own hand, she suddenly found she did not want him to die.
“But I dinnae think he’s gonnae stop there,” Ewan continued mysteriously.
“What d’ye mean?” Isla asked, startled from her bleak train of thought.
“I think that once he’s gotten rid of me and routed me remaining army, he’ll attack Galbraith, kill him and his family, and then take over his clan too.”
Isla was dumbstruck with horror at his prediction, coming as it did on top of the carnage she had just witnessed and the terrible memories it had reawakened. Tears pressed at the back of her eyes again, and though she tried to brush them aside with the back of her hand, Ewan noticed at once that something was wrong.
“What is it, Annie? Ye look upset again,” he said, his handsome brow creasing with obvious concern as he studied her expression. He reached over and placed his large hand over hers. Despite the fear and sorrow gripping her, she found his touch comforting and was grateful for his kindness. After last night’s fiasco with the stolen food, she had expected harsh treatment. But here he was, with the weight of the world on his, admittedly broad, shoulders, being so gentle and trying his best to soothe and comfort her. It was impossible not to warm to him even further.
“All this death and dyin’, ’tis all wrong!” she burst out with unexpected passion, meaning every word.
“Aye, I agree, but there are times in life when, even if ye dinnae wantae, ye have nae choice but tae fight, against injustice, for freedom, or both,” he said, keeping his hand where it was and looking deeply into her eyes.
“I suppose ye mean the land ye say Allan stole from ye.”
He nodded. “Aye, that’s one injustice I couldnae let go. Those lands have been in me family fer centuries. I cannae just let Allan take them from me like that. Me ancestors are spinnin’ in their graves over it is as it is.” His tone changed slightly, acquiring a stony edge as he continued, “I havetae get them back, even if it costs me me life.”
Something about the way he spoke made her certain he was being truthful. Which meant that Allan was likely as corrupt as Ewan claimed he was and suggested Gregory’s so-called ally would have no scruples about double-crossing him.
I need tae tell Gregory all this, but how?
Ewan broke into her thoughts once more, taking her aback by saying, “I think it would be best if I bunk in with Colin tonight so ye can have the tent tae yersel’. I’m sorry ye had tae see what happened just now. I think ye’d probably like some time alone with yer thoughts. Besides, ye’ll be more comfortable without me takin’ up room in the bed.” He gave her a crooked smiled that made her heart flutter in her chest.
She considered his offer. Did she want to be alone? Had she not felt alone since her parents had been so cruelly snatched away from her? And much as she loved Gregory, had not his responsibilities as laird had taken him away from her at a young age, amplifying that inner loneliness? Making up her mind, she managed a shaky smile and replied, “That’s very thoughtful of ye, Ewan, but I’d rather ye stayed. I dinnae feel like bein’ alone right now.”
The smile he sent her way set her heart fluttering again. “All right, I’ll stay and keep ye company if that’s what ye’d like.”
“Aye, it is.”
“In that case, I’ll make us some more tea and slip a wee dram intae it. That should soothe yer nerves and help ye sleep.”
“Thank ye, Ewan, fer bein’ so kind.” She was genuinely touched by this gentle side to him, which she had only glimpsed before when they were at the pond.
Ewan made a step and then turned to her again. “I have nae idea how ye thought ye would be able tae kill me when ye cannae stand the horror of takin’ one’s life.” And then he went to make the tea, so thankfully she didn’t have to answer.
I dinnae have any idea what I was thinkin’ either.
He proved to be correct, for once they had drunk their tea and whisky and retired to the cot, Isla felt better, and was soon overtaken by tiredness. When Ewan lay on his back and raised his arm to invite her in, she simply accepted the gesture for what it was and snuggled into the crook of his shoulder. He put his strong arm around her, and it felt wonderful to be held so. In fact, she had never felt so safe in her life. She did not even feel a whit of guilt about fraternizing with the enemy. She simply accepted the immense amount of comfort his warmth and strength and closeness offered, with gratitude and growing affection.
The siege went on, and during the following week, Ewan allowed her more and more freedom to move about the camp by herself. As the days passed, the men increasingly accepted Harris as one of them. The boy soldier was often invited to eat, drink, play jacks, or a hand of cards around the firepits with the various groups. At other times, Harris made himself useful helping tending to the horses or assisting the camp cooks, turning the spit when someone brought in a deer or something else that would make a tasty supper.
In quiet moments, as she strolled about, Isla privately marveled at the way she had so quickly settled into camp life. She had grown to like these tough men who thought nothing of running their enemies through with their swords, but could equally be found a few hours later, sitting around a campfire with their brothers-in-arms, wringing a tear from their mates eyes as they coaxed a tune from a battered squeezebox and crooned a sad, old ballad of lost love.
Among them, she found a sense of camaraderie she could hardly recall experiencing. She had even grown used to the soldiers’ bawdy, irreverent jokes, laughing along with them behind her hand. Castle Galbraith was where she had grown up as the laird’s sister, to be sure. Yet strange as it seemed, and in spite of her stalwart love for and loyalty to Gregory, she had seldom felt quite so at home as she did as part of Ewan Ballentine’s military camp.
At the end of that week, the third week of the siege, after eating a supper of roast duck with Ewan at the table, she refused his offer of tea and began clearing the dishes away. Clearly surprised by her refusal, he looked at her quizzically. “What are ye up to?”
“If ’tis all right with ye, after I’ve washed these dishes and taken them back tae the kitchen tent, I’m goin’ out tae play horseshoes with some of the men for an hour or two,” she told him, placing the dishes by the door while she put on her coat and boots.
“Well, I may well come and join ye fer a few rounds later,” he said, which for some reason, pleased her immensely. She found herself beaming at him.
“Aye, all right, if ye dinnae mind gettin’ beaten,” she replied cheekily.
He laughed, a happy, full-throated sound of pure merriment which she could not help joining. “Now, that’s a challenge I cannae turn down.” He paused for a moment, regarding her with one of his crooked smiles. “Ye ken, Harris, I like seein’ the way ye’ve settled in around here.”
“The men have made me feel very welcome.”
“’Tis very satisfyin’ as their commander tae hear ye say that. Of course, in me opinion, ye couldnae find a better bunch of lads anywhere. I’m awful glad ye feel welcomed. Off ye go then tae play, I’ll see ye shortly.” He waved her out of the tent. However, when she turned to give him a final wave as she went out, she caught in his expression a hint of doubt.
There’s nay good reason why he should trust me. I did try tae kill him after all, and I’ve been spyin’ on him all this time as well. I’m lucky he’s let me live as it is . But trust has tae be earned, and I dinnae deserve it. I am an enemy spy, and I’ve told him naethin’ but lies.
Torn as she was between loyalty to Gregory and her growing affection for the enigmatic enemy leader, she felt as guilty about lying to Ewan as she did about her failure to aid her brother and the others trapped by the siege. Rightly or wrongly, it made her sad to think he was still suspicious of her. For deep down, had circumstances allowed it, she would have given her eye-teeth to be considered trustworthy by such an honorable man as Ewan Ballentine.