Chapter Fifteen
Jo slowly opened her eyes. A furry, twitching ear came into view.
Ruby was close at hand, curled up like a vast, tawny ball.
Jo yawned. Her lids felt heavy. She grazed them with her fingers, feeling their puffiness and, suddenly, remembered the damn that had, at last, broken within her and the rush of emotion that had surged from her soul straight into Ian’s strong embrace.
Behind her, he still slept, his body curved around hers, his hand splayed wide across her stomach.
His even breaths warmed her neck. She closed her eyes, savoring the intimacy, but then images of her nightmare flashed across her mind’s eye, and she remembered...
In her dream she had been sitting in the solar with her father, playing chess, when he suddenly stood upright, knocking the table over.
Game pieces scattered the ground. “We’re out of time,” he cried, and then the walls around them began to crumble.
Thane and her mother appeared and dragged her away while her father was crushed beneath the debris.
The dream, which had brought the agony of loss to the surface of her heart, pained her still to remember.
But the rawness of feeling, its sharp edges, had been softened by Ian’s tender care.
Long had it been since she’d felt another’s comfort.
And now, as she continued to lay within Ian’s warm, strong arms, she closed her eyes, savoring the security of his embrace.
As if sensing the direction of her thoughts, he shifted behind her, pulling her flush against him.
His scent surrounded her. She felt cocooned, pressed close to his sinewy torso.
Then suddenly, she was struck by new images, and she remembered what she had dreamt after Ian had soothed her back to sleep.
She had dreamed of him, his kind blue eyes, his large capable hands. She closed her eyes, remembering...
They were in a glade beneath a blanket of stars.
His eyes bore into hers, intense with wanting.
Scooping her into his arms, he crossed the glade and lay her down in the soft grass.
He stretched beside her, his head propped on his hand, his warm breath softly caressing her cheek. “I love ye, Josselyn,” he whispered.
Her heart swelled. She smiled without constraint, her heart free to feel, to love, to want. She opened her arms to him. “I love ye, too.”
“Good morrow,” the real Ian said behind her.
She jumped a little at the sound of his voice, embarrassed by the intimacy of her dream.
She jerked upright before glancing his way, but the moment she met the warmth of his gaze she felt her face burn.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he said quickly, sitting up and gently stroking her back with one of his big, strong hands. “’Twas only a dream.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. Had he guessed? Did he know the sweet, sultry images coursing through her mind’s eye? She had dreamt of him. And in her dream, he had been hers, and she belonged to him. And he kissed her...and it was glorious!
“How did you know about my dream?” she said, defensively.
He looked confused. “Because ye cried out in yer sleep.”
“Oh God, please tell me I didn’t do that!” Had she said his name? Did he know about how his dream kiss had made her feel?
“Don’t ye remember? Ye had a nightmare—”
“Oh, yes, of course,” she blurted, interrupting him. “Yes, my nightmare, I do remember...er...thank you for your comfort.”
He grinned lazily, and his eyes once more grew sleepy. “Any time.”
Her gaze dropped to his full lips, lips that had felt both soft and strong all at the same time.
She shook her head and stood up quickly, banging her head on the low ceiling.
She winced, and Ruby also jumped to her feet, shook out her fur, and kissed her mistress’s cheek.
When the pain radiating through her skull dissipated, she gave Ruby a quick scratch behind the ear.
Then, she took a deep breath to calm down before she dared meet Ian’s gaze.
“Thank you,” she said stiffly. “For last night, I mean.”
“Are ye sure ye don’t want to sit down and talk about it.”
Yes, she did.
In fact, she wanted to cry in his arms again.
She wanted to sit with him and lose herself in his blue eyes and tell him everything, all her secrets, all her fears.
She wanted to watch him laugh and to listen to his stories.
And if she were completely honest with herself, not only did she not think him false in anyway, she truly believed he was all things good and big and strong.
Still, she reluctantly shook her head. Despite how she longed to, she would not sit with Ian and share of her soul.
After all, both her mother and Bishop Lamberton had told her to trust no one.
Ian stretched his long arm, reaching for his sack. “Let us break our fast, then head on our way.” He glanced around at the cave paintings. “We have intruded upon the spirits long enough.”
He handed her a thick piece of dried meat before offering some to Ruby.
“Here ye go, lass,” Ian said, holding out a piece for her.
Ruby growled, her keen eyes locked with his.
“’Tis all right,” he crooned softly. “I won’t hurt ye.”
Ruby took a tentative step toward him only to dance back, settling next to Jo.
“Here ye go.” He tossed the meat. No sooner did it land at Ruby’s feet, than she sniffed it and scooped it up in her strong jaws.
“One of these days, ye’re going to let me pet ye,” Ian said to Ruby.
Jo laughed when Ruby growled in response.
“Wishful thinking, I’m afraid,” she said.
He smiled at her and this time she could not refuse the heat that warmed her cheeks.
“Ye laughed again.”
The way he was looking at her, with admiration in his eyes, made her suddenly feel like there was no right place to set her own gaze.
Nervously, she cleared her throat and picked at some dried mud on her tunic.
“Once again, I believe I laughed at your expense.” She’d tried to shrug away the moment, but her voice didn’t have its usual coolness.
She dared look up at him and his gaze intensified as a slow smile curved one side of his sensual mouth. “I will just have to make myself the fool more often.”
Her stomach flipped. She dropped her gaze. Blessed Mother, what had come over her? Could a simple dream truly unravel her stubborn defenses? But then she remembered his sensual touch as he lay with her in the glade—it had been no simple dream.
He tossed another piece of dried meat at Ruby. “Anyway, I’m a patient man. She’ll come around when she is certain I’m trustworthy.”
“How can you be so sure?” Jo asked.
Ian smiled gently. “I told ye before; dogs can sense a person’s character. I have my flaws, to be sure—”
“For instance?”
“I will let ye discover them on yer own,” he smiled. “Although, I will tell ye, I’ve a wicked temper when truly provoked.”
She thought about the fire she had glimpsed in his eyes when he attacked her assailants in the wood. “Our encounter with those thieves taught me that much.”
He nodded. “But as ye’ve already said, I am, all in all, a decent man—Ruby will soon learn as much for herself.” He leaned closer, his gaze intent. “And I hope ye will, too.”
She frowned. “I know you’re decent. I said as much already.”
“Aye, but ye can’t just know something—ye have to believe it.
” He gave her a playful but appraising look.
“There’s a part of ye that’s resisting what ye claim to know, the part that’s forgotten how to trust.” He took her hand.
“Breathe out the last of yer wariness and let me in. Yer not alone any longer, Jo.” He squeezed her hand, pressing it to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. ”
A fresh well of emotion rose in her throat. More than anything, she wanted him to cradle her in his arms again and soothe her with endless words of comfort. “Do you promise,” she whispered.
“I promise.”
She drew a deep, shaky breath. “I cannot trust you, not fully, anyway. I made a promise, you see, to my mother. But I am grateful to you, Ian. Grateful to you and...and I’m grateful for you.”
He smiled almost boyishly and rubbed his hand over his stubbly beard as if at a loss for words. “’Tis a dream to hear ye say that.”
Her eyes flashed wide. Not more talk of dreams!
Hunched over, she started off for the cave entrance. “Let’s not tarry any longer.”
ANOTHER DAY OF RIDING passed, during which Jo kept her thoughts, her words, and her gaze to herself.
Day turned to night and still she kept her silence.
Ian remained as patient as ever. Every now and again, while he was brushing down his horse or preparing supper, he flashed her a curious expression.
And more than once, she noticed him appraising her, his brow pinched with worry.
But he stayed his tongue, never probing her with questions or pressuring her to speak her mind, which was a blessing as she wouldn’t have had a clue what to say.
She’d never been more confused. Her mind raced, consumed by the same questions that had been plaguing her for years, and now—she glanced over at Ian—now she had a new list of questions.
But as the moon rose high in the sky, and the time to lie down drew near, her mind began to quiet, and a singular notion came to dominate her thoughts—she wanted to lie, once more, in Ian’s strong embrace, to feel the warmth of his body surrounding her and to know the touch of his hand on her cheek.
“Ian.”
“Aye.”
She jerked around when she heard him answer. “Did I just say that out loud?”
His lips curved in a sideways grin. “Ye said my name.”
She cleared her throat. “Of course I did. Goodnight, Ian.”
He drew closer, grazing the back of his fingers down her cheek as if he had read her mind. Her breath hitched.
“Goodnight, lass.” Then his gaze shifted to Ruby. He reached to pet her, but she backed away, only this time she didn’t growl, she whimpered.
Jo squatted down and buried her face in Ruby’s neck. “I understand what you’re going through,” she whispered. “You want to like him, but you don’t know how.”
Ian laid a wide plaid on the ground before lying down on one side of the blanket.
Jo stretched out on the other side and patted the spot between them.
She needed Ruby to guard her, but not from danger of Ian or and unknown attack.
She wanted Ruby to guard her from herself, for Jo did not doubt that once asleep, her body would roll toward Ian by sheer attraction, alone.