Chapter Nineteen
Just before first light, they slipped away from the woodsmen’s hamlet to avoid any further demands from Godfrey. Ruby thundered ahead of them, clearly eager to be on the road again without the restraint of her leash.
Jo looked up through the trees, gaging the direction of the sun. “We have to go east?”
Ian pulled on the reins, bringing Star to a halt. She twisted in front of him and looked up, meeting his gaze.
“Why have we stopped?” she asked.
“Given everything that has transpired between us, do ye think ye might trust me enough to tell me where we’re going?”
Her face went pink. He pressed his lips to hers, unable to resist her innocent beauty. She reached out and cupped his cheek, deepening their kiss. Although it pained him, he pulled away, struggling to not lose his thoughts in the sultry haze of desire. “Where are we going, Jo?”
She cleared her throat and straightened in the saddle, looking forward. “Haddington Abbey.”
He stiffened in his saddle. “Are ye certain?”
“Why?” she asked in a rush. “Is that bad? Should I not want to go there?”
“Nay, Haddington Abbey is safe. The Abbot is a good and kind man. I’m just surprised that yer going to a place that is so familiar to me. ‘Tis a second home really.”
She smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. The bishop said that I would find a purpose at the abbey.”
“Bishop? Which bishop?”
“Bishop Lamberton. I met him when I was at the cathedral, incidentally, just after I ran into ye. In fact, I was greatly distressed at the time that he approached me. After learning I was alone and with no place to go, he told me about Haddington Abbey. He said that I should journey north and present myself to the Abbot, assuring me that I would be welcome.”
“Abbot Matthew will certainly welcome ye—this I do not doubt, but forgive me, Jo, I know the bishop well. I find it hard to believe that he would advise ye to make the long journey to Haddington alone.”
“Even so, ‘tis true. I told him about Ruby, and he seemed to think I could be all right with just her at my side, although he did ask that we keep to the wood and avoid roads and villages.” She raised a brow at him.
“He also told me not to trust anyone.” Then a smile curved her lips. “That is one promise I did break.”
When they arrived at the abbey, Jo couldn’t help but feel utterly ridiculous. “Mayhap, we should move onto the next village. I’m certain to be an asset to a small hamlet. I can set up my shop and—”
He shook his head. “Ye’re in the Highlands now, Jo.
Everyone weaves their own fabric.” His expression became serious.
“Listen, I can tell ye’re nervous, but ye must see this through to the finish.
The bishop sent ye here for a reason, and it must have been an important one to have encouraged ye to risk traveling alone.
” He cupped her cheeks. “The Abbot is like a father to me.
In fact, had I not followed ye when ye first set out from Durham, this would have been my destination.
I mean, ‘tis all too much to just be a coincidence. Somehow, we’ve been brought together for a reason, Jo.
And I do not doubt ‘tis yer destiny to walk through those doors.”
She swallowed hard. Her chest tightened.
With every passing moment, her emotions unraveled more and more.
She could not have said why, but her initial feelings of foolishness upon seeing the Abbey had given way to full-blown fear, which worsened with every breath she took. But she remembered Ian’s words...
Courage burns through fear.
“All right,” she said with a resoluteness she did not truly feel. “I’ll do it.”
She kept her hands clasped together to try to stop them from shaking, while Ian tied Star and Ruby to a nearby hitching post. Then, gently, he took her arm and led her along the cobbled walkway to the abbey’s imposing double doors. Jo closed her eyes, allowing Ian to be her guide.
Keep breathing.
Keep fighting.
She did not need to open her eyes to know when they had crossed the threshold into the abbey. The air felt cool. Their footsteps echoed. The smell of incense surrounded her.
“Good morrow, Brother Mark,” she heard Ian say.
Still, she kept her eyes closed and her head down.
“The Abbot has just finished the prayer service for Prime. He’s in his chamber.”
“Thank ye,” she heard Ian say, and then, once again, her feet were walking as if of their own accord, her every thought focused solely on breathing and not turning and fleeing as fast as her feet could take her. And then, before she knew what was happening, she heard Ian present her to the Abbot.
Still, she kept her eyes closed and her gaze downcast.
Keep breathing.
Keep fighting.
“Why have ye come to see me, my child?”
She took a deep breath. “Bishop Lamberton of Durham Cathedral sent me to you,” she burst out, louder than intended, her voice unsteady. Raw emotion twisted her heart, and to her own bewilderment, she suddenly was near to bursting into tears.
The abbot took her hand and gently led her to a chair by the hearth. “Sit with me.”
Still not meeting the abbot’s gaze, she sat, perched on the edge.
“Now, tell me, my child, why have ye come?”
She gripped the arms of her chair. “The bishop said you might have a purpose for me. He...he...” She pressed her hands to her cheeks, her skin hot. “I’m sorry...I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
The abbot knelt in front of her. Still, she did not meet his gaze. “Go on,” he urged her.
“There’s a weight on my chest.” She shook her head. “I can’t explain it. I’m...” A mirthless laugh fled her lips. “I’m afraid.”
“Do ye fear me?”
“Nay, I fear that all has been for naught, that ye will cast me away. That Ian will reject me. That I will be alone again, and I will not know why? I just want to know why!” A sob tore from her throat.
“Look at me,” the abbot said gently.
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her chin and met his gaze.
His eyes narrowed slightly. He cupped her cheeks, scrutinizing her face. Then a smile crinkled his eyes.
“Bless my heart. Why, hello Lady Joselyn.”