Chapter Seventeen
Lachlan blinked, and then blinked again, unsure he’d heard right. ‘Him?’
Cuthbert crushed the kerchief in his fist. ‘Yes. Him.’
Shock washed through Lachlan in stupefying waves and his jaw dropped open.
He’d known his cousin since they were wee bairns and as mischievous young boys.
Throughout their adolescence, Cuthbert would visit and stay during summer before returning to his studies in England.
They would play, explore, and run amok in and around Drumocher.
They would swim in the loch, fish and hunt with Lachlan’s father and clansmen, square up to each other in playful combat, neither of them holding back when old enough to use a targe and a dirk, or wield a sword.
Though Lachlan taunted Cuthbert about his pretty looks, his cousin had always been a strong and worthy opponent capable of holding his own. He’d matched and on the rare occasion bested Lachlan in strength and skill.
As men, together they had navigated the drawing rooms and ballrooms of London society. Cuthbert knew how to use with advantageous effect his wit, charm, and conversation and had mastered the art of luring women to his side.
So how was it that during all those years, months, days, hours, and minutes spent in the close company of his cousin, Lachlan did not see or pick up on the cues, clues, and indicators of Cuthbert’s core nature?
Speechless and confused, jumbled thoughts flew helter-skelter inside Lachlan’s head. Nothing came to mind that his cousin had said or done to afford the slightest hint of him preferring the company of men over women.
‘Christ! I sure as hell don’t want a wife.’ Cuthbert’s words, spoken in Drumocher’s library. ‘I’m not ready for marriage!’
Only now did Lachlan understand his cousin’s vehement distress over his father’s ultimatum to seek out a bride and marry.
It would not sit well with Cuthbert to deceive and wed a woman, knowing she’d unwittingly be living a lie, and yet refusing his father’s instructions would all but ensure his financial ruin.
Lachlan’s stomach roiled with fear for his cousin.
If exposed, the secret would have far-reaching consequences.
It would bring shame upon Cuthbert’s family, and his father would ostracize or excommunicate him, as would decent society.
Even worse, he’d suffer the threat of verbal and physical abuse, if not death, if charged and convicted under criminal law and thrown into the notorious Newgate Prison.
‘You’re morally offended. I see it on your face,’ said Cuthbert, his voice even and flat.
‘Nae. ’Tis concern for ye and yer future that worries me.’
‘Nonetheless, I’ll make this easy for you.’ Cuthbert’s gaze dropped to the ground. ‘Revile me, resent me, hate me for who and what I am—if you will—but hear me out before you send me on my way.
‘My intentions in contriving an introduction between yourself and Helene were honourable and in your favour. Yes, I might have managed the situation better than I did, but I know you’d have refused my request to bring Helene here as your potential match.’
Cuthbert met Lachlan’s eyes. ‘It was—and still is—my firm belief that you and Helene are well suited. For so short an acquaintance, she is smitten with you, even if she refuses to admit it, and by your own admission, she has bewitched you. I understand your anger over my interference, and I sincerely apologise.’ He looked down at his feet and gave a sardonic laugh.
‘Far better to ask for forgiveness than permission, and so I must ask for your forgiveness and—’
‘Cuthbert!’
Cuthbert lifted his gaze slowly, and Lachlan saw for the very first time the true depths of his cousin’s despair.
Unhappiness and haunting loneliness resided in pale-blue eyes.
Dark shadows sat beneath fair long lashes.
Shadows born of the constraints in having to forever conceal his true self from the world at large.
For years Lachlan had tasked himself with filling his late father’s shoes and carrying forward Drumocher’s prosperity.
Thorough dedication to the responsibilities and protection of family, the clan, and the running of a successful cattle business had left him blind to the subtleties of everything else going on around him, like Tibbie’s betrayal, not giving Grizel consideration and respect for the blossoming young woman she’d become, Helene’s deception, and now Cuthbert’s unforeseen revelation.
Lachlan acknowledged and cursed his own shortcomings. He’d been solely focused on sustaining and growing Drumocher’s wealth and resources. It was time to cast off the blinkers and devote more time and attention to those near and dear to him.
‘I made ye a solemn promise,’ he said to Cuthbert. ‘One I intend to honour. Nothing and nae one will drive a wedge between us.’ He reached for his cousin with an open palm.
Cuthbert’s wide-eyed surprise flicked between Lachlan’s outstretched hand and his face. ‘This, I did not expect.’
‘I could say the same of ye and yer confession.’
Cuthbert laughed and accepted the helping hand.
Lachlan hauled his cousin up off the ground and to his feet, drawing him close in a strong embrace.
‘’Tis I who must ask for yer forgiveness, Cuthbert. I had nae idea of the personal struggles ye’ve weathered. I wish ye’d have told me sooner.’
Cuthbert pulled back and dusted himself off. ‘I feared you’d think less of me as a man.’
‘Nae. I think more of ye for having the courage to take me into yer confidence.’
Cuthbert’s shoulders lifted and fell. ‘I had little choice, given my bungled attempt at bringing the marriage bureau to your hearth.’
Lachlan narrowed his eyes in mock frustration. ‘Aye. Ye took on the role of London’s elite meddling matriarchs and sought to play matchmaker.’
‘Cupid, if you will, and with some manner of success. You can’t deny it.’
‘Bittersweet success.’ Lachlan quickly returned to the matter at hand. ‘Does yer father ken yer secret?’
The question rendered Cuthbert visibly panic-stricken. ‘No! Married or not, he’d cut me off and disown me. I’ve told only you. Please! Keep it to yourself.’
‘Aye. Of course. Ye can trust me on that.’
Cuthbert’s brows drew together in a tight frown. ‘I fear there is one other who knows.’ He met Lachlan’s questioning eyes. ‘Helene.’
Lachlan gave his cousin an incredulous stare. ‘How would she ken about yer personal life?’
‘I don’t know. I’ve taken great pains to be discreet, but obviously not discreet enough. She threatened to expose me if I did not hand over the promissory note last night.’
Lachlan scowled. ‘I didnae pick her to be as cunning as a fox.’
‘Don’t be so quick to judge her. I daresay it was her way of lashing out when I pressed my arrogance upon her. Until that moment, she’d kept the knowledge of my affair up her sleeve. I only hope she remains tight-lipped about it.’
‘Aye.’
Lachlan felt uncomfortable voicing his next question, but still, he had to know. ‘There’s something I dinnae understand. Ye trounced me in two out of five wagers. Did ye actually go through with . . . ?’
Cuthbert grinned. ‘I’m quite capable of performing in that arena.
How else do you think I’ve earned my rakish reputation?
Tongues wag as efficiently in ladies’ parlours as they do in the men’s smoking rooms. Best I keep up the facade and be known or perceived as a seducer of women, rather than .
. .’ He shrugged. ‘Well, rather than the alternative.’
It was a conversation Lachlan never thought to have engaged in with Cuthbert. ‘Might I ask who the lucky gentleman is?’
Cuthbert shook his head. ‘That’s one secret I’ll never share. He and I have sworn mutual silence to not only protect ourselves but also our families.’
Lachlan nodded.
Cuthbert walked to the edge of the loch, crouched down, and scooped up a handful of water to rinse clean his mouth. He spat out the water on the ground to his side and then washed his kerchief in the cool water. He used the linen cloth to freshen his face and wipe away any remaining blood smears.
‘I’m truly sorry for hitting ye,’ said Lachlan.
Cuthbert glanced over his shoulder. ‘Don’t be. I deserved it.’
‘If it’s any consolation, ye still look disgustingly pretty.’
Cuthbert grinned. ‘I’ll have you know, just for the record, I let you win three of the five wagers because’—he stood and pointed to his face—‘with these looks and irresistible charm, you never stood a chance against me.’
Lachlan winced. ‘I’d have preferred ye take yer best swing at me than to suffer the demoralising pain of that truth. If ’tis indeed the truth of it.’
Jocularity aside, Lachlan voiced a more sobering truth. ‘We must find ye a wife.’
‘Not before you woo and win Helene. I will see finished what I started.’
Lachlan mumbled a curse and seated himself on the fallen log. ‘Nae chance of that happening. ’Twas all a ruse on her behalf. The lass used and deceived me into believing there could be something genuine between us.’
Cuthbert perched himself beside Lachlan. ‘I disagree.’
‘She took payment from ye for having kissed me! What more proof could ye want?’
‘Being paid to act on something is one thing. Owning and being in control of one’s feelings is another.’
He was right. Helene had not been paid to give intimately of herself when they’d taken shelter from the squall. Her need for Lachlan to calm her fear, to soothe and satisfy her body and mind, was born of her own free will. Did that not say something about her feelings for him? Her trust in him?
Cuthbert added, ‘I couldn’t buy or force the state of attraction between you, but it was my sincere hope it would occur.’ He lifted his hands in joyous supplication. ‘And hallelujah, it has!’
‘And nothing will come of it.’ Lachlan surged to his feet and scowled down at his cousin. ‘She has yer promissory note and now I’m as good as in her past. She has nae more need of either of us.’