Chapter Twenty-Four #2
The sisters sat shoulder to shoulder beneath the blanket, their heads tipped to the darkening sky.
Lachlan sensed Prudence had, without doubt, chosen this place, this moment, to disclose the truth of her accident to Helene.
All he could do was wait and prepare himself for whatever Helene’s reaction might be.
Already, his heart hurt and bled for Helene.
*
The summer sun’s descent cast a warm, golden glow upon the sky. Colours, pink and orange, merged, and streaks of fiery red painted a breathtaking masterpiece against a canvas of deepening blue.
‘Doesn’t it just take your breath away?’ said Prudence.
‘That, and more,’ agreed Helene. ‘Nature has a way of making one appreciate the little things in life.’
‘Indeed, it does.’
The ensuing silence became unbearable. Helene had a deep sense of foreboding about her sister’s mortality.
Why did Prudence insist they visit Spring Hill tonight of all nights?
Why not wait until she had regained her strength?
Asking Helene to sit and watch the sun bid farewell to this summer’s day was tantamount to Prudence making her final farewell.
Tears stung Helene’s eyes and a knot cinched in her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She summoned the resolve to smile and speak positively of the future and of her sister’s recovery. ‘Prudence, I—’
‘The laird, I think him quite the catch, don’t you?’
Helene’s gaze cut to Prudence. ‘Lachlan?’
‘I know of no other laird.’ Prudence winked at Helene and then returned her gaze to the sinking sun. ‘He is in love with you.’
‘What? No!’
‘Of course he is. It’s obvious. Can you not see it for yourself?’
‘How can you say such a thing when you met him a matter of hours ago?’
Prudence turned her head slowly to look at Helene. ‘It takes but one moment to witness in his eyes the love he has for you, and if I’m not mistaken, you are in love with him.’
Helene’s jaw dropped as she considered her sister with utter dismay.
True, Helene had been hard-pressed to take her eyes off Lachlan, dressed as he was in the height of London fashion, and so strikingly handsome as to make her eyes shoot arrows into any woman who dared look his way, but for her sister to read deeper into her feelings for the laird? How was that even possible?
‘Well, do you deny it?’ Prudence pressed.
Helene swallowed. Hard. She had not expected their conversation to take this turn.
‘Speak the truth. Do you love Lachlan?’
Helene stole a look over her shoulder, satisfied Lachlan was indeed far enough away as to not hear a word spoken between Prudence and herself. ‘Yes. Yes, I do.’
‘You cannot know how happy I am to hear you’ve found love with a man who loves you in return.’
The look of relief on her sister’s face was altogether a curious thing, but before Helene could pursue it further, Prudence’s expression turned pitifully forlorn.
Helene flinched. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Did Father explain to you why the asylum discharged me?’
Helene’s free hand formed a fist beneath the blanket. How could she forget her father’s explanation?
Your sister had the most violent of episodes. Convulsions. Rhythmic, jerking muscle movements of the neck, face, arms, and legs. Her muscles stiffened and jerked, and her body arched so high off her bed as to make those responsible for her care believe she’d levitated by supernatural means.
‘Yes,’ answered Helene between gritted teeth.
‘Father told me, after which I railed against him and our brother for neglecting you and sending you to that Godforsaken place! He and Robert should have been there for you. I should have been there with you through the throes of your turn. To be by your side when you awoke. To hold your hand and reassure you, knowing you’d wake dazed, confused, frightened, and all alone within the cold, clinical walls of that hell house! ’
‘Shh,’ soothed Prudence. ‘Do not despair for me.’ She gave a triumphant yet feeble laugh.
‘After my turn, not one of the wardens would come near me. They thought me possessed by the devil, and so I played on their belief to my advantage. Silly fools!’ she scoffed.
‘I threatened to curse them with the falling sickness if they did not send for Father.’
Helene unclenched her fist, and the hand at her sister’s waist pulled her closer. Her body felt as frail as a bird’s. ‘You needn’t worry about a thing from here on in.’ Cuthbert’s promissory note came to mind. ‘I have the means to take good care of you.’
‘Dear, sweet Helene. I do not deserve an angel for a sister.’
‘How can you say that after what I did to you? Your life would have been so different had I not been so cruel as to push—’
Prudence pressed a finger to Helene’s lips. ‘You won’t think yourself so cruel once you hear what I have to say.’ She began to wheeze, and her body trembled as if from cold.
Helene made a move to stand. ‘We must return home. Now!’
‘No!’ Prudence clutched Helene’s arm. ‘Not until you’ve heard what I have to say.
’ She dragged in a ragged breath. ‘My violent turn was not the sole reason Father agreed to bring me home. I confessed to him the truth behind my fall, and I begged him to send for you so that I could tell you to your face. Before it’s too late. ’
Panic rose in Helene. ‘Tell me what? And too late? Prudence! You’re not making sense. What are you talking about?’
‘You and I, we fought and squabbled when we were young.’
‘As do all siblings.’
‘Yes, but on that day when we fought over the doll, anger and hate for you overcame me. I wanted to retaliate and have Mother and Father scold you.’
‘And they did.’
‘You did not deserve having them turn their backs on you, nor did you deserve Robert’s cruel retribution.’
Helene shuddered at the memory of her brother having tied her to the tree and abandoning her amidst the storm.
‘Dear sister, I did something sinister that day, and because of it, I’ve lived my life with deep regret. I was too much of a coward to speak the truth at the time, and with each passing day, week, month, and year, shame and guilt made it impossible for me to confess my sin.
‘The falling sickness was God’s just way of punishing me, of that I’m sure, and it’s something I’ve come to accept.
My spiteful actions impacted and shaped your life in more ways than I care to admit, but that shall no longer be the case.
I must make my peace with God. And with you.
I can only pray He, and you, will find it in your heart to forgive me. ’
‘Stop!’ Helene’s heart hammered. ‘All this doom and gloom talk distresses me. Whatever you did, I forgive you. You need not tell me anything.’
‘I must! And here’s the truth of it. You didn’t push me down those stairs. I threw myself down the stairs.’
Helene’s head drew back on a gasp. She blinked, rapidly, and shook her head. ‘No, no. I pushed you!’
‘That much is true, but your push was not forceful enough to send me toppling down the stairs. When you turned your back and walked away, I ran to the landing and hurled myself over the top.’
Helene gasped again in disbelief. She stammered, ‘Why? Why did you do such a thing?’
Prudence dipped her chin. ‘At the time, I was a stupid, jealous, irrational eight-year-old sister.’ She glanced up.
‘After the accident, Mother and Father lavished all their love and attention on me, especially when I began to suffer from those turns.
Years later, when Mother passed and Father sent me away because of my illness, I was angry at you.
‘I concede it was misplaced anger, but I was too selfish to admit and hold myself accountable for my actions. In my twisted mind I believed that if I was to suffer and be estranged from our family, then so should you.’ She glanced down, wringing her hands.
‘If only you could know the depth of my shame and guilt.’
Helene closed her eyes and massaged her temples. ‘Why now? Why has it taken you this long to admit your wrongdoing towards me and our family?’
Prudence swiped at wet lashes and her voice faltered.
‘Being sent to that asylum was as good as being condemned to purgatory. I did not wish to die there and have my callous soul forever roam those cold corridors. It forced me to admit I’d strayed far beyond my moral compass.
That, together with my insufferable condition, was my pathway and process to redemption. ’
Gently, gingerly, Prudence reached out and held Helene’s hands in hers. ‘I’m so sorry, Helene. I’m so very sorry. I humbly beseech you to find it in your heart to forgive me.’
Helene slid her hands free of her sister’s touch and wrapped herself in a hug.
The years had seen her sink completely into a quagmire of self-recrimination, with every waking moment spent looking to atone for what she’d believed was her sin.
A sin that had destroyed familial relationships between herself and her siblings, her father, and her late mother.
It was they who’d turned their backs on her.
She’d lived like an outcast within her own home, always longing for life to go back to what it had been before her sister’s accident.
Back to playful interactions with Prudence and Robert, and when she’d enjoyed the loving smiles and attention of parents who were there to protect, support, and care for her.
She’d shouldered guilt, heartache, hurt, pain, emotional and mental stress, feeling disconnected and alone. To think of the extreme lengths she’d gone to in securing Cuthbert’s promissory note. And all for Prudence.
The jolting reality of the confronting confession gave Helene the right to loathe, resent, and vehemently despise her sister, and yet, now was not the time to vent those feelings.
Time Helene had, and so she suppressed deep in her heart a maelstrom of emotion, there to be later unleashed and processed with a rational mind.
Tugging at her heart this very instant were her sister’s sad, listless eyes and an expression of defeat and genuine remorse.
Despite the wicked, deceitful deed, compassion rose in Helene, leading her to realise Prudence, in need of seeking absolution, was to be pitied rather than pilloried.
Helene drew her arms around Prudence in an embrace. ‘Forgiven.’
Prudence bowed her head and wept on Helene’s shoulder, her thin body shaking like a brittle leaf on a branch. After a long silence, it occurred to Helene that from something bad had come something good. ‘I must thank you.’
Prudence pulled back. ‘Whatever for?’
Helene tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her sister’s ear. ‘If not for you, I’d never have met Lachlan.’ Prudence startled Helene by pressing her palms to Helene’s cheeks.
‘I’m in no position to ask anything more of you, but please promise me one thing.’
‘Anything.’
‘Promise me you will not spend the customary three months mourning my passing. I am not worth it.’
Helene sucked in a breath. ‘Your passing?’
‘Promise me.’
Despite her sister’s frailty, Helene failed in her attempt to pull Prudence’s hands from her face. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! Nothing is going to happen to you.’
‘Promise me!’
Desperation and chilling finality were laid bare in Prudence’s narrowed eyes and pinched face.
Helene heard the words her sister refused to say out loud, and in that moment, she could no longer protect herself from another truth too painful to accept.
Only then, and with the heaviest of hearts, did Helene begrudgingly acknowledge Prudence’s days were numbered.
Through trembling lips, she whispered, ‘I promise.’
Prudence sighed in relief and rested her forehead against Helene’s. ‘Make your feelings known to Lachlan, lay claim to him, for if you don’t, Father will force you into a loveless marriage. Do you hear me?’
Helene heard her loud and clear. Her thoughts turned practical.
Up until now, she’d staved off her father’s attempts to marry her off by threatening to expose Prudence’s condition.
Without that advantage, there was no telling what he might do.
If Lachlan did not declare his hand for Helene, then her saving grace would be to call in Cuthbert’s promissory note and support herself for as long as the money would last.
Prudence eased back, smiled, and thumbed away Helene’s tears. ‘Come now, the last vestiges of day are fading fast. Let us enjoy what’s left of this magnificent sunset.’
Helene resettled her arm around her sister’s waist. At the same time, Prudence tilted her head to rest on Helene’s right shoulder.
In glancing up at the evening sky, Helene was happily reminded of her journey from Scotland to England with Lachlan, sleeping out in the open beside the fire. Always she’d look towards the twinkling heavens and wonder what existed beyond the vast universe.
The sun sank below the horizon, plunging the world into darkness, save for the illumination of the lanterns on the picnic rug.
‘Look!’ Helene pointed with her finger. ‘Did you see that, Prudence? A shooting star!’
When her sister gave no response, Helene shifted her gaze to see Prudence had closed her eyes, her face as serene as her smile.
No longer did she clasp Helene’s hand. Prudence’s hand was limp, the palm open, fingers curled back and relaxed.
Her head felt heavy on Helene’s shoulder, so too her body propped up against Helene’s side.
A chill, colder than an arctic wind, shot up Helene’s spine.