Chapter Ten
I kept thinking about that Kaikeyo woman.
Throughout the walk to my guest room, I replayed her accident over and over.
The fear in her eyes had been real. Too real.
She'd been so shocked when Jucai had comforted her and made light of it.
So, what was the truth? Had she been mistaken about Jucai, as I had been?
Or had Jucai put on a show for me? The uncertainty made me uncomfortable.
Perhaps I didn't know Jucai well enough to be his lover.
Dear Gods, of course I didn't! I'd convinced myself of what I wanted to be true.
Now, I doubted everything. Was it true that the Sea Dragons were starved for the pleasures of life, and that was why they were so licentious?
How long did they need to gorge before they calmed down?
It had been over a year since they'd awoken.
Surely that was enough time to settle such urges.
But Jucai seemed earnest, even a little embarrassed when he told me.
I had the feeling that he saw it as a weakness.
That made me think he was telling the truth.
Our inner beasts could take over when in need, and it made sense that a dragon, be it sea or land, who'd been hibernating for centuries, would wake ravenous.
Plus, I'd seen firsthand what abstaining had done to Jucai.
Still, after a year without signs of their urges abating, it looked as if this might be permanent.
Had they let their beasts control them for so long that they'd forgotten how to take control?
“Nadar?” Jucai had escorted me into my suite and shut the door behind him.
I came out of my thoughts to find myself standing in the middle of the room, staring at the wallpaper. “I'm tired, Jucai. I don't think I'm up for sex.”
Jucai frowned as if I'd been speaking another language. Then his expression cleared. “Very well, you may lie still while I do the work.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Then you won't strain yourself.”
Stiffening, and not in the way Jucai wanted, I said, “No, thank you. I wish to go to bed alone.”
“But I am in need. You said you would receive me.”
“And you would have me do so even when I don't wish to?”
Jucai sighed and lowered his gaze. “No, of course not. I'm sorry I said that.” He raised his head. “But I must see to my needs, Nadar.”
“Yes, I assumed you'd summon your slaves. I'll forget our agreement for tonight.” But I wouldn't forget that he couldn't abide by our agreement for more than a few hours. That knowledge would keep me in possession of my heart.
“I will not penetrate them.”
“Fine.” I turned away and trudged into the bedroom.
Jucai followed me. “Are you truly that weary?”
I sat down on the bed and pulled off my boots. “I am. It's been a long couple of days, and I had very little rest last night. Goodnight, Jucai.”
“Allow me to help you undress.”
I nodded and undid my belt. Jucai lifted my tunic over my head and set it on a nearby chair. I stood, and he helped me out of my pants, but I stopped him from removing my underwear. Mind spinning with thoughts of slaves, hibernation, and the Sea Court, I crawled under the covers.
Jucai stood beside the bed for a moment and then sat next to me. He stroked my hair and sang. The words escaped me, but his voice helped to settle my thoughts. I fell into a deep slumber.