20. Sterling
20
STERLING
S loane disappeared into herself this morning, and I know my questions didn’t help, sandwiched between the break-in last night, taking control of her life, and finding a bullet with her name carved in it on her desk.
I stood back and let her work without interruption. Manic and single-minded, she made quick work of checking through her inventory. No one else bothered her, either. No deliveries until the afternoon, and I just… watched her.
Even after Shepard and Hastings arrived, I could not let her out of my sight.
Not until Hastings tapped me to go home did I turn away. And that’s only because I have the late shift tonight, too. I’m fond of the bedtime rituals and peaceful mornings.
After a few fitful hours of sleep, I pick Reese up from school. She smiles when she sees me and climbs right in. “Hello again, Sterling.”
“Hello again, Reese.” I watch her from my rearview mirror to be sure she’s buckled in before I start the drive home. “How was school today?”
“It was good, but I can’t tell you any of the details until I see Mommy. She always likes to be the first to know.” Reese looks out the window. Is she daydreaming to the scenery passing by or looking for familiar landmarks?
Knowing she’s like Sloane makes me think the latter.
And I miss watching my daughter play or read in the back of the car. We used to have to drive her around with the Goodnight, Moon audiobook on repeat. I spent a lot of late nights driving her around so that Mari could sleep.
She was such a good mom straight from the start.
“Where are we going?” Reese asks, pulling me out of the memories.
I peek at her in the mirror again. She’s studying the street out ahead of us.
“We’re going to my house.”
“Because someone broke our door to go through our stuff?” This little girl understands far too much for her age.
“Yes. I can keep you and your mom safe at my house until we find them.”
She meets my gaze in the mirror and gives me a short nod before peering out the driver’s side window.
Her nonchalance makes me smile. Sloane is setting a good example for her.
When we pull up to my house, she makes big eyes at me. “You have a big house.”
“Yeah. Always meant to fill it up.” I grab her backpack and walk her inside. “You got homework?”
Reese squints at me. “No. I did it already.”
“I’ve got coloring books and crayons on the kitchen table.”
Those green eyes light up. “Just for me?”
“Just for you.” I lead her to the table and set her bag down. “Do you eat steak?”
She settles in a seat, opening the new box of crayons. “Sometimes.”
Probably small portions, mixed with other things. I lay out the steak to come to room temperature as I prep tortillas, cheese, tomatoes, peppers, and onions. Most kids will eat handheld food, so quesadillas it is.
Reese helps me set the table as the steak rests as my men arrive with Sloane. The way that woman catalogs every item in my entryway turns something over in my chest.
Even as everyone bustles to finish their pre-dinner ritual and I assemble and melt the quesadillas, Sloane examines everything available to her. It’s almost like she’s studying the relic this house has become. That I’ve become.
She finally snaps out of it when we sit to eat, running a hand over Reese’s hair and leaning down to kiss the top of her head with affection. Like I’d kissed the top of hers just last night. Worry melts away as dinner passes and she listens to Reese recounting her day, learning about goods and services. They’re planning to take her on a trip to the nearby local grocer next week.
We’re all wrapped up in Reese recounting her day until she plainly asks, “Can I watch some TV?”
Sloane purses her mouth and looks at me.
I shrug. “Only gets basic channels, but I’ve got a VCR and some tapes.”
Reese frowns. “What’s a VCR?”
That breaks Sloane, and her laughter is sweet. “Something that plays recorded movies.”
“Like Disney Plus?”
“Kind of. Maybe Sterling can show you.”
I offer Reese a smile and a nod toward the living room. “Yeah. Come on. I actually have some Disney movies on tape.”
Reese looks doubtful, but she follows me to the couch. “You like princess movies?”
“Yes.”
“You like books?”
She perks up a little. “Yes.”
“You like it when the princess is smart and strong?”
An enthusiastic nod.
“Good. I’ve got the movie for you.” I put in a well-worn copy of Beauty and the Beast for her and retreat back to the kitchen to clean up.
But it looks like Sloane has beaten me to it. Shepard slips by and plants himself on the other end of the couch with Reese.
I take up the towel and step beside her to dry the dishes as she washes them. We stand in silence until the sink is empty.
Sloane turns to me, and I hand her the towel to dry her hands as she frowns at me, balling the fabric in her fists. I’m braced for her sharp tongue.
“This isn’t a safe house.”
“It’s safe enough.” She blazes with defiance, and I’ve never been so tempted to lean into the burn.
She narrows her eyes. “Aren’t we putting you in danger, being here like this? Putting your family in danger?”
“No.”
Her arms cross. “Sterling.”
God, I like the sound of my name on her tongue. But the worry and panic in her eyes has me leaning in to catch her.
“I can’t turn someone else’s life on its head like that?—”
I grab her by the shoulders, pulling her in. “Listen to me. This is my job. It’s my job to keep you safe.”
“But…” Her hands grip my arms tightly, that vulnerability she’s always hiding shining up at me.
“Let me do my job. I’m very good at it.” Because I want to protect her. The niggle in my chest warns me not to get involved like this, but my gut is telling me it’s too late.
She blinks through my words for a second before she nods, grip loosening but not releasing. I just want to tug her against me and close her in my arms, but I let her go.
“Good. Now, I’m going to camp out on one of our suspects tonight. You want to come?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. It almost makes me smile.
“It might not amount to anything.”
“Please.” She hangs the towel on the oven handle. “I have to get Reese ready for bed first.”
“I’ll pause the movie.”
Some humor finally bleeds through. “You’re the only one here who knows how.”
A full smile cracks across my mouth, and she reflects it back at me. Shaking my head, I pause Beauty and the Beast to a chorus of groans.
Sloane claps her hands. “Bath time. Once you’re clean, you can finish the movie. Then straight to bed after.”
With a soft huff and a sigh, Reese crawls off the couch and follows her mother upstairs.
Shepard drops his head back against the couch. “That seems to have gone better than we anticipated.”
“Shock and awe,” I respond, peering out my front window.
“She hasn’t been as prickly today. What did you do to her last night?”
“I put her to bed.” They already know I questioned her about Alistair. Pretty sure none of us are going to get very far with that line of inquiry for a little while.
I did get her a new phone, though. It’s sitting on a shelf in my basement. While Sloane gets Reese ready for bed, I grab it and my small go bag and wait for her on the couch.
When Reese throws herself between Jack and me, Sloane’s tells start to show. She’s worried about leaving her daughter here with two men she doesn’t know very well.
I’m stuck on how she’s changed into an oversized sweater and basketball shorts. Her hair is up in a messy knot. Fuck, I want to drag her into my lap and discover every way she can fit against me.
I stand up, ignoring the impulse and forcing her to put an end to warring with herself. “If you’re coming, come on.”
Sloane walks to her daughter, kissing her on the top of the head, then turns to pin Hastings and Shepard with her mom glare. “You two be good for her. Reese, be sure they don’t get in too much trouble. Okay?”
“Yes, Mommy.”
With another glance—or glare—Sloane follows me out to my car. The drive is quiet, taking us across town, near her new apartment building and a bit more south. We’ve suspected this warehouse and its owner as a middle man for some unsavory exchanges. It’s a good place to check off our list or catch a lead.
Either will work.
Sloane, as quiet as she is, fidgets more than I expected her to. But the more I think about it, the more I realize she’s always in motion. I doubt her mind ever stops, and it takes tremendous effort to keep it all to herself.
I give her the phone to occupy herself, but she bristles a little. “You didn’t have to?—”
“I said I would. I want your old one once you’ve transferred everything.”
“To trade it in?”
“Sure.” It’s going to be a link back to Alistair, even if she erases her data, or so Hastings tends to remind me. He’ll be the one to dig into it.
Reading something on me, her stare is prolonged. I let her stare for a long time. This seems to settle her because she doesn’t move until I glance at her.
“Something wrong?”
Another few blinks, and I swear she’s digging herself straight into my soul before she turns to the phone. With it in her hand, she gives me a soft, “I’ll pay you back.”
“Don’t worry about it.” The lamplight makes her skin glow golden, and the young woman I first saw her as slowly transforms into this strong, beautiful mystery. One that I want to spend my time solving.
I turn back to the warehouse as she fiddles with it. Watching her is too distracting. When she’s done, her knees draw up into her oversized sweater, and she hugs her knees like she did last night.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I extend my hand for her old phone and slip it into my pocket.
“Did you bring coffee?” Her chin settles on her knees. She’s probably exhausted.
“I did.” I pull a metal mug of the stuff from my back seat. It puts my face close to hers, and her eyes glitter as she peers at me. Sloane’s mouth is soft and pouty, and by God, I want to lean in and kiss her.
The moment passes, and I pour her something hot to drink in the top of the canteen.
Wrapping both hands around it, she says, “I bet there’s no milk or sugar packed away in this car, is there?”
“Nope.”
Her laughter is clear and strikes me through my ribs. She sips the brew without flinching.
Tension blooms when she hands the cup back and our hands brush. Sloane’s slow to pull back, wrapping herself around her legs and watching the small spots of light through the windshield.
I haven’t met many women like her before, especially someone as young as she is. But she reminds me of Mari. Someone meant to be more a partner than to turn a blind eye to the realities of my job and my life.
Doesn’t matter.
My focus is on keeping her safe. Fuck, I’ve never had to remind myself of that with other cases. Other women.
What is it about you, Sloane, that has me so distracted?
I sip my own black coffee under her watchful eye.
Why do you seem drawn to men twice your age?
“Getting tired?”
“No.”
“Bored?”
“Mmm.” Sloane reaches out and pokes me in the shoulder, a smile curving on her mouth.
I raise a brow at her.
“I’ve always had a hard time sitting still. Reese and I have this poking game when it’s too quiet. When it’s too quiet, I fall back into lines of thought I’d rather not have. What-ifs and all that.” Her finger presses harder into my bicep, staying there until I huff out a laugh.
“I get that.”
Movement pulls her upright again, legs falling from her grasp. A loading dock door opens, and that middle man unloads crates.
“What is all that?”
“Could be anything. We’re just seeing if anyone else shows up.” And the idea is no further out of my mouth when a familiar figure steps into view.
That co-worker of hers—Kingswell.