31. Sloane
31
SLOANE
I t’s another late work day. It’s been getting warmer, and either the food from lunch didn’t settle so well today or I’m coming down with something. I’ve been absolutely nauseous all day.
The only concerning issue is that my boobs have started to hurt. It’s not one of my normal symptoms for, well, anything, so my intuition is screaming terror to the back of my brain.
This only upsets my stomach more.
I want to hug my tin of Tums and curl up on the floor. But I’m unwilling to let up on the work. Not when we’re so close and still don’t have the clues we need to put an end to this.
When Jack leans in to kiss the side of my head, the scent of him helps. How weird is that?
“I’m going to go grab Reese and some grub. Want anything in particular?” His voice is a soft grumble, and it’s funny how of all three of them, he’s the one who struggles with the public displays of affection at the office.
“No. Let Reese pick.” Because I know she’ll want chicken nuggets and fries, and that doesn’t sound so revolting right now.
I put my hand to his chest when he leans in to kiss me, stopping him with a raised brow.
Jack takes a deep breath and throws me a wounded look.
“I’ll see you when you’re back.”
The grin he flashes makes me feel less like an uptight bitch, but I still need some boundaries.
When he’s out the door, I slip down the hall to the bathroom on my own. It’s the first time I’ve gotten a taste of true privacy in so long.
Maybe that should bother me more. It’s only that it doesn’t that concerns me.
Locking myself in alone, I unearth the wrapped test I stashed in the bottom of my purse and stare at it. It takes me so long to break the seal and pee on the stick.
Setting an alarm on my phone, I hold the thing upside down on my thigh. I can’t watch it slowly form. I need to rip the bandage off when it’s time.
The roiling in my stomach amplifies as I worry over this.
Once the investigation they’re here for is over, once they don’t need to protect me and Reese anymore, there won’t be anything left for them to stick around for. Especially if I don’t tell them.
But how can I not? Even if they resent me for it.
They will. Won’t they? Resent me for the obligation, for forcing them to stick around.
Joke’s on them. I did this once on my own. I can do it again. They don’t need to stay out of responsibility. I don’t want that.
I’ve never once wanted to be a burden, but that’s all I ever seem to be.
My timer goes off, squeezing my heart until it wants to frenzy and quit.
Blowing out a deep breath, I flip the test over. My damnation stares back at me. A clear blue plus sign.
My sob sounds like a strangled animal as I bend over my knees.
This is too much.
They’re going to hate me for this, fight with each other over who’s going to be stuck with me.
It’ll just be more fuel for the fire in Alistair’s bid to take my daughter away from me. And he is right about one thing. I’m too stupid for my own good, too irresponsible to use proper birth control while sleeping with three men. Three.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I rub my face, smearing the tears.
Seven years, and I’ve learned nothing about life. About making good choices.
I just keep making mistakes.
Rubbing my stomach, I whisper down at the little bundle of cells that will grow into a baby. “Sorry, bub, for whatever dumb decision I make next.”
Agony rips into me again, and more tears sear my cheeks until I hear Reese’s squeal from the office.
Bad life choices or not, Reese is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. One thing that I would never, ever change.
Although I’m feeling sorry for myself right now, this baby will bring me the same joy. No matter how tough this gets.
Stuffing the test in its torn package, I shove it to the bottom of the trashcan before I wash my hands and my face.
I’m drying my face on a paper towel when there’s a soft knock.
“Sloane. You alright?” Sterling’s gruff voice is muffled by the door.
I straighten my shoulders and smooth back my hair, but the red in my eyes is too obvious. Sighing, I don’t bother hiding my mood when I unlock the door and open it to his concerned gaze.
Sterling slides a hand to the back of my neck and tips my face up. He doesn’t need to say a word to ask me a million questions.
A small, half-hearted smile hits the corners of my mouth before it falls. “Stress.”
I hate the lie of not telling the entire truth, but it’s true enough that he nods and steers me back to the office.
Rhett has Reese in his lap as she shows off a piece of artwork from school. They’ve broken down our routine, but it’s probably better today to have her show them. I’m not feeling very receptive to happy emotions at the moment.
Jack is propped in a chair opposite her, unloading food.
I come in to drop a kiss on Reese’s head, smoothing back her hair and murmuring that I love her.
Taking a step back, I watch as she grabs all three of their attention, and tears threaten me again. Losing them is going to gut her.
I should have protected her from this.
Selfish. Stupid.
Grabbing my clipboard, I mumble about checking one last thing and slip into the warehouse without a tail.
A few steps in has me taking deep breaths to keep the tears back.
Was that movement down the rows? I thought everyone had gone home already. I follow it. A dark shadow that keeps creeping along the stacks.
The short-cropped, light brown hair… Edmund? What is he still doing lurking about? I swear he signed off and went home more than an hour ago.
Creeping closer, I pull out my phone to snap some pictures. I have to show some kind of proof that he’s up to something illegal.
He’s brought danger into my workplace, and I am not okay with this.
It takes a minute to get a clear shot with his face and the crates, but once I do, he turns to look at me fully.
I’m more than ready to confront him, hands clenching at my hips as I march forward. “What are you doing?”
Edmund frowns and shakes his head, turning back to the crates. “Just go home, Sloane.”
“Go home? Isn’t that where you’re supposed to be?” I stomp forward. “Edmund, what are you doing? For real? This is serious shit you’re playing with. You know that, right?”
He glances to the left before I step into his view, forcing him to look at me.
“You have no idea how serious.” His voice is flat, and unease stirs through my muscles. Edmund is just watching me with a guilty expression.
I take a step back as I catch his muscles flexing. How easy it is to forget that he’s bigger than me. Stronger. I hate that he’s pressing on those fear responses when he’s always seemed nice and safe before.
Not a friend, but a friendly co-worker, at least.
What is he now? Dangerous?
“Why don’t you tell me, then? No one seems to think I’m smart enough to get it.” It’s a good thing that I’m fast. Fast enough to keep a good distance between us until one of the men inevitably comes looking.
Edmund laughs softly. It’s not friendly. “No, Sloane. You’re too smart for your own good. Too driven. You always have been. Not afraid to make the rest of us look bad. But I only ever wanted to get by. I’m not trying to draw anyone’s attention.”
My breathing grows shallow.
“Not like you. I knew once you got your teeth into this, you wouldn’t let go. I wish you would have.”
My feet shuffle me back further as he steps around the box.
“You have no idea what’s at stake here.”
I let out a weak laugh. “You mean like the lives of our men and women serving?”
“I’m thinking closer to home than that. I don’t have the privilege of thinking beyond that.”
Glancing around, I curse myself for letting him back me up this way. I can’t see the door to the office, and the lights aren’t on behind me.
A hand clamps over my mouth, a sweet smell covering my nose as a body solidifies behind me.
I hold my breath.
Panic throws my hands up to the arm confining me.
My struggle is so small until my lungs force me to breathe in the chemical that has my head spinning.
I yank at the fingers and wrist as my eyelids start to flutter closed without my consent.
Skin breaks under my nails as I drop into darkness.