Chapter Thirteen
I couldn’t rest. I couldn’t stay still. My head pounded and I just couldn’t draw a whole breath since Merrow left. The night was clear, so I decided to paint until my mind was blank. I loaded my supplies into my beat up canvas bag and carried some canvases. A piece was coming to me and I could already see it forming in my mind. I’d need several canvases–a large, curling octopus, with arms spread out over the canvases, holding something in each tentacle. Holding Her .
Spending the whole day with Merrow was so easy. Feeling so at ease around someone was unnerving in its own right.
I walked down the boardwalk, passing all of the closed shops and opened bars. People were out drinking and dancing, enjoying their vacations and company. The neon lights from the bars and restaurants dyed my skin greens and pinks, as I breezed by them all. The music and the drinking held no appeal to me. I hated feeling out of control, my head buzzing from the alcohol. Even the smell of the drinks that filtered out the street curdled my stomach. Not being able to smell the sea air set my nerves on fire, and I hurried down the walkway to the beach .
The waves were aggressive tonight. They lashed at the shoreline like they were possessed by a storm, but the sky was clear and calm. I watched the waves attack the shore like they were clawing back every piece of the land they could. I didn’t know how much time passed with me staring at the ocean, until I felt the presence of someone behind me.
“Hey you,” she said, and I nearly stumbled upon hearing Merrow’s voice. She was there, standing in the sand, the breeze making her dress and her hair billow. Every image and angle of her was paintable.
“Merrow? What are you doing here?”
“Would you believe me if I said I saw you through my window?”
“Kinda creepy, but okay,” I laughed. She laughed. We were standing so close together, when did that happen? The wind blew her hair so it brushed against my arm; she had it down fully, and it swung to her waist. The soft, pink tresses were so touchable. I couldn’t help myself. I was reaching to tuck the strands out of her face before I knew what my hands were doing.
“Why are you out here? It’s so late,” she asked.
“Couldn’t sleep.” She picked something off my shirt–I didn’t know what it was, didn’t care, because she was touching me and that felt very vital.
“I couldn’t either,” she admitted, like this was a secret I needed to guard. The sky was so clear and there were so many stars out. We were far enough out on the beach that the light pollution wasn’t bad. The waning light from the boardwalk felt far away, and Merrow was so, so close.
In a moment of bravery, my arms wrapped around her waist and drew Merrow closer to me. There were so many words I wanted to say, so many things I wanted to ask her, but words failed me. This moment was one that I dreamt about, only Merrow wasn’t real, she was just a figment of my imagination. She was a wish I’d made on every star, every night of my life.
And now she was here, with her breath against my cheek. Our noses brushed, and I took a sharp, desperate intake of breath .
Those crystal blue eyes stayed on me, and even in the darkness, I saw them shining. I saw the want in her eyes and felt the heat of her body pressing against me.
“Merrow,” I whispered–did I even make a sound? Did I imagine it?
“Owen,” she said, her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. She had to be up on her tiptoes to reach me. Merrow’s fingers, her lovely webbed fingers, tangled in my hair, and I bit back a groan.
“Can I–” she nodded, the movement of her head making our noses bump against each other. I snaked an arm up her back, holding her as gently as glass, like I could shatter this moment somehow.
Our lips met. At first, it was so brief, so subtle that I couldn’t really feel it. Then Merrow curled her fingers into the back of my neck, and the kiss lit me up inside. It was like I came alive then, my life was muted and now I finally saw the world in color. She sighed into my mouth, and I nipped at her bottom lip, until Merrow opened her mouth to deepen the kiss.
My hands held her hips firm as we kissed. The wind picked up and her hair was everywhere, between us and tangling on our lips. She huffed out a breath that might have been a laugh, running her hand through her hair to move it out of the way before she was kissing me again.
The pace picked up. Merrow wasn’t this tiny, pliant woman in my arms, but assertive, urging me forward, to touch her, to acknowledge and worship her.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered against my lips, each syllable another caress.
I kissed her again, traveling from her lips to her cheek, behind her ear, nibbling at the tender skin there. She gasped before tilting her head to give me more access. I kissed the hollow of her throat, the smell of juniper in my nose, filling my lungs, before coming back to her lips. My legs felt leaden with need, and I guided us to the sand, pulling her into my lap .
“Is this okay?” I asked, as she settled against me, her arms wrapping tightly around my neck again, keeping me close.
“Yes, Owen, yes,” she purred. Now my hands were in her hair, and she shivered. I didn’t know if it was the chill rolling off the waves or from me, but she had goosebumps on her arms. I had the urge to kiss them too.
Merrow lifted my chin, and even in the darkness, I saw her studying me. She tentatively traced my lips with her fingers and I tried to kiss them. She trailed her fingers over my cheeks, touching my forehead, my nose. “You’re real,” she said faintly. The smile on her face took my breath away. Shy and demure, shining with want and edged with mischief. For me. For me.
“I’m real.” A beat passed, just two heartbeats.
“I should go, you were going to paint–”
“No, stay. I don’t feel much like painting now.” My words were husky with desire. I’d never heard my voice change like that, deepening to an almost feral sound.
She cupped my face, kissing me again. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
“I’m working, but you can come by. I’m off work around noon,” I said, regaining control of myself. Merrow was still in my lap, straddling me and I shifted, trying to ease the pressure of her body against me before my body could react further.
“I’ll be there,” she said. Our kisses were sweet, little nips at each other. My lips felt bruised and tender, and I couldn’t remember the last time that happened.
“I’ll see you then,” I said, reluctantly letting go of her. Merrow stood, pulling me up with her. She hugged me again and I rested my chin on the top of her pink hair. Tipping her head back, Merrow invited me to kiss her one more time, and I didn’t resist. Our tongues met in a sweet dance, until we were both breathless.
“Goodnight, Merrow. ”
“Goodnight Owen Harper. Sweet dreams,” she said. She touched her lips, before turning away and heading home. I wondered then where her home was if she saw me walking on the boardwalk. It would have to be a question for another day, because Merrow was already climbing the steps. The breeze caught her dress and tugged at the hem.
The look in her eyes would haunt my dreams tonight, and for the first time in a long time, I was excited to surrender to sleep.