19. Chapter 19
Chapter nineteen
Dean
I had kissed a few girls in the past, but none of them compared to holding Kasey in my arms and kissing her. Her lips were soft and warm, and they fit against mine perfectly, like they were made to do just this. She played with the hair at the base of my neck, and I felt goosebumps rise on my arms. I smiled against her lips before pulling back slightly so we could both catch our breath.
“We wasted a lot of time not doing that sooner,” I said, my voice sounding rough to my ears.
Kasey just shook her head slowly, pink tinging her cheeks and a happy smile playing on her lips.
I lowered my mouth back to hers, delighting in the soft sigh that escaped her. We were almost as close as we could get in the cramped space, but I grasped her hips and pulled her more fully onto my lap. She took advantage of the new seating arrangement and wrapped her arms around my neck, enthusiastically kissing me back. She let her mouth explore mine, and I had no desire to stop her.
When we broke apart, Kasey released her grip around my neck and shifted until my arms were wrapped around her and her head rested on my chest. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tightened my arms. I still couldn’t remember what had convinced me to give Kasey and me a chance, but I was glad for whatever it was.
“How long have we been in here?” Kasey asked.
“No idea.” I shrugged, the movement making her laugh. “Time may or may not have gotten away from us.”
“Do you think we should go out and find everyone? I don’t want anyone getting lost or thinking that we got lost.”
I sighed reluctantly. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Kasey scooted off my lap, and we made our way out of the cozy alcove and back into the real world. But I wasn’t going to let that moment we’d shared be a one time thing. Kasey tended to retreat a little after we made some progress in our relationship. I wasn’t sure why, but I was determined to keep her close this time.
Once we were both standing, I pulled her toward me and planted a quick kiss on her lips. She looked a little startled after I pulled away but pleased as well. She threaded her fingers with mine and we set off in the direction that we’d come to try and intersect the trail. I wasn’t in a rush to catch up with everyone and end the dreamy bubble we found ourselves in, so I slowed my pace, swinging our hands between us.
“I just love autumn.” Kasey exclaimed, kicking the crunchy leaves with the toe of her shoe. “All the colors and smells and the weather? It doesn’t get better than this.”
I stopped suddenly, pulling Kasey to an abrupt halt. She bounced back toward me, and I automatically reached a hand up to steady her.
“What is it? Is everything alright?” she asked, concern and confusion written all over her face.
“I think…I think I just remembered something.” My eyes were wide, and I could hear the disbelief in my voice.
Kasey spun around to face me completely. “Wait, what? Really? What did you remember?”
“Did we stay in Burlington for our friend weekend last year?” My thoughts were swirling and trying to sort through them was like wading through mud. Kasey nodded, a mix of emotions playing across her face. I closed my eyes, straining to hold onto the memory that had jumped to the front of my mind. “And we went to Battery Park to rake leaves into piles and jump in them? I cracked my eyes open and looked at Kasey who was nodding vigorously and smiling.
“Yes!” she exclaimed. “And then we went to Church Street and got hot chocolate.”
“And it was a beautiful autumn day just like today…” My voice faded as I stared at Kasey.
“What is it?” she asked again.
“I think you said that same thing last year. About how it doesn’t get any better than this? Maybe you saying that again in the same autumn setting triggered a memory. It was like, as soon as you said that, a key was turned and a single little memory escaped from its box.” I was getting more excited as I talked.
Not having my memories of the past year or so was terrible. It was like I was back in school trying to take a test, except all the questions had been blacked out. I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but I didn’t know and couldn’t remember how to get to that point or what to do once I got there. It had been so frustrating doing all the memory therapy without seeing any results.
I thought back to what Kasey had said. Maybe the consistency had paid off at last. Maybe my memories would come flooding back, and I’d be able to remember everything. I was giddy with excitement as we continued walking, and Kasey kept glancing over at me with a smile on her face. A few times I thought I saw a little bit of worry there as well, but why would she be worried? I decided that I must have imagined it and returned to swinging our interlocked hands between us as we set off again to find our friends.
It took awhile, but eventually we all made it back to the car. As we drove back to town, Ro told us the whole story of how she, Hazel, and Jace had found Max and Emma within ten minutes and then they’d all searched for us. Apparently we’d been more distracted than we’d realized because they’d been looking for at least half an hour before we came across them on the trail. I was in the front with Jace so I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text.
Me : 30 minutes definitely wasn’t enough time ;)
I heard a stifled giggle from the back of the car and grinned while I waited for her response.
Kasey : Once the friend weekend is over, we’ll have lots more than 30 minutes.
“Why are you looking at your phone like that?” Jace asked from beside me, adjusting his baseball cap.
I tried to wipe the huge smile off my face, but it was useless. “I don’t—” I started.
Jace held up a hand, eyes comically wide. “Stop right there. It’s probably something scandalous. I changed my mind, I don’t want to know.”
I laughed and lightly shoved his arm.
“Hey, hands off the driver,” he protested before breaking into laughter himself. I met Jace my first year teaching at Burlington High, and we’d instantly hit it off. He was a happy-go-lucky guy and full of energy. He was a really good school counselor, and I admired him and the work he did. Our group had welcomed him with open arms, and it was like he’d always been a part of us.
Jace had the most space in the little house he owned so we always ended our friend weekend at his place. It was tradition to camp out and have a good old fashioned sleepover. Jace and I had already dug out all the air mattresses and sleeping bags we had and set them up in front of the tv, and the room was filled to bursting once we unloaded the car and brought everyone’s stuff inside.
But the air was filled with excited chatter. I loved this weekend that we got to have every year, especially to see Max. He moved to D.C. after we graduated, and this weekend was the only time I really got to see him. I’d spent most of the day so far with Kasey, which I didn’t regret at all, but I was eager to hang out with my friend.
I spotted him across the room standing over Emma who was sitting on an air mattress with her arms crossed. Her back was mostly to me, but it was clear she wasn’t happy about something. Max looked to the ceiling and took a deep breath before he glanced around and his eyes locked with mine. I jerked my head toward the kitchen, and he gave a short nod. He said something to Emma and then walked my way.
“You looked like you could use a rescue,” I teased as we entered the kitchen. Max sighed deeply, and I looked over at him. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Emma and I just haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye the last little while.”
“How long have you guys been together?” I asked, frustrated by the fact that I didn’t know anything about my friend’s relationship. Had he told me and I couldn’t remember? The last I remembered, Max hadn’t dated anyone in years.
“Six months or so,” he said, and my eyes widened.
“That serious?”
Max shrugged a shoulder. “I guess.”
We’d never been ones for deep, heartfelt conversations, but we’d always been able to talk more than this. Maybe I needed to dig a little deeper. “How’d you two meet?”
“A mutual friend introduced us. We went out a few times casually before we really started dating. But like I said, we haven’t been getting along super well lately.” He finished with another shrug and a look back over his shoulder toward Emma.
I clapped him on the back. “I’m sure you guys will figure things out. If you ever need a listening ear, you know where to find me. And I apologize if you told me this before and I’m just not remembering.”
“I haven’t told anyone until right now,” Max said with a smile that looked vaguely like a wince.
Just then, Jace ran into the kitchen. “Come on guys, we’re going to start the movie.” He was as enthusiastic as ever, and Max and I chuckled as we followed him into the living room.
The rest of the weekend went by without incident. We watched lots of movies, ate way too much popcorn, and laughed until our sides ached as we reminisced and relived the fun memories of our past. Emma seemed uncomfortable and out of place, and I didn’t blame her, but she didn’t complain too much.
After everyone went home, I felt more hopeful than I had in a long time. It was still just the one solid memory that I had back, but it felt like a sign. Like more good things were around the corner.