Chapter 17 Rhett
Seventeen
Rhett
I leaned against the doorframe of Chief Holloway’s office, feeling more like myself than I had in months. My shoulder moved easily when I crossed my arms—no more of the lingering pain that had dogged me since surgery. I was just about cleared for full duty.
“So that’s it then?” I asked. “Everything’s done?”
Holloway looked up from his paperwork, a half-smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “All the boxes are checked, MacAvoy. You aced the written, crushed the assessment, and the oral boards...” He shook his head. “Well, let’s just say you made an impression.”
“A good one, I hope.”
“You did everything right.” He shuffled some papers on his desk. “Now we wait. Probably another week or two before we get official confirmation.”
I nodded, relief washing through me. No matter what happened, I was glad to be finished. I just hope I got what I hoped to out of this whole process. “I appreciate you pushing me to do this, Chief. Wasn’t sure I had it in me after everything.”
“Never doubted you for a second.” Holloway leaned back in his chair. “Seems like this time off has been good for you. It hasn’t escaped anybody’s notice that you’ve been spending an awful lot of time at your old house.”
“I’ve been rebuilding the porch. Something I promised Pepper I’d do a long time ago. Finally made the time.”
I couldn’t wait to see her. Being away the past few days had sucked.
I’d hated having to cut her off when she’d called, but I’d been right in the middle of things down in Birmingham.
I could’ve called her back, but she’d have wanted to know where I was and why, and that felt like a conversation better had in person.
Maybe tonight when she got off, after I’d knocked out the steps and the railing.
Then all that would be left was paint once she chose a color.
My boss gave me a knowing look. “Don’t think a porch is the only thing you’ve been rebuilding. You two giving it another shot?”
I thought of all the meals and the laughter and the lovemaking. She hadn’t let me stay the night, but it had been so much more than I’d expected when she insisted we take things slow. “Yeah.” I couldn’t stop the grin. “I think we can get it right this time.”
“Good to hear. I hope it works out. But you might want to rethink some of your tactics.”
What the hell did that mean? “Sir?”
“She called up here a couple days ago.”
My stomach dropped. “Pepper called the station?”
“Looking for you. Seemed surprised when I mentioned you were in Birmingham.” He studied my face. “Didn’t tell her you were going, did you?”
“Shit.” I pushed off from the doorframe. “I didn’t want to jinx anything. Wanted to wait until it was all finalized to bring it up.”
“Women don’t generally appreciate being kept in the dark, Tater.” Holloway’s use of my firehouse nickname softened the blow of his words. “Especially that one.”
“Yeah.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I better head over there.”
“Good call. And MacAvoy?” I paused at the door. “Finish that damn porch before you do anything else. Woman’s waited long enough.”
I nodded, already mentally calculating how quickly I could get to Pepper. I’d spent too many years keeping her at arm’s length. The last thing I needed was to give her another reason to doubt me.
Should I go to the house or find her at the diner? She wouldn’t appreciate our business being aired in public, so better to go to the house and work until she got off. Then I’d come clean and tell her everything.
I’d expected to have time to work out what I wanted to say before she got home from work, but her car was in the drive when I pulled up. Maybe I was overthinking this. Maybe she was fine, and I was inventing problems where there were none.
But something told me to knock rather than letting myself inside.
I raised my hand to knock, but the door swung open before my knuckles could connect with the wood.
Pepper stood in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed over her chest, eyes as cold as I’d ever seen them.
Her auburn hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, a few strands escaping to frame her face.
I’d always loved how she looked at the end of a long shift—a little disheveled, makeup faded.
But the rigid set of her jaw told me I’d stepped in it. Again.
“You’re back.” That flat tone betrayed nothing but her serious irritation.
“Yeah.” Why couldn’t I think of anything more to say?
My mind raced through explanations, apologies, anything to thaw the ice in her gaze, but nothing seemed adequate.
I was too busy cataloging the distance in her body language—the way she blocked the entrance, not inviting me in, the slight backward tilt of her body as if she couldn’t stand to be too close.
I’d seen this posture before, in the final months of our marriage. It was her armor, the way she protected herself from disappointment. From me.
“I was going to finish the steps today,” I offered, gesturing to the tools in the bed of my truck. “Should only take a couple of hours.”
“Where were you, Rhett?” The question hung between us, sharp and unavoidable.
“Birmingham.” I shifted my weight, feeling the silence stretch. “I should have told you I was leaving.”
“Yes, you should have.” Her fingers tightened around her biceps. “But that’s not what bothers me. It’s that when I called, you brushed me off. Like I wasn’t entitled to know.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“It feels exactly like before.” The hurt in her voice cut deeper than any anger could. “You deciding what I need to know. What I can handle.”
Shit. It wasn’t that. Not at all. But I understood that’s what it looked like from her side.
I tunneled a hand through my hair, trying to figure out where to start.
“I think you should finish the steps and go.”
“Go?” Panic settled in my chest, making it hard to breathe. “Pepper, wait. Just let me explain.”
“Explain what, Rhett? This was all a mistake. I should never have let you back in.” She was already shutting the door on me, literally and figuratively.
My hand shot out, palm slapping against wood. “Wait. Please, just hear me out.”
She hesitated, obviously not wanting to give me even that much latitude. But something in my face must’ve swayed her because she stepped back. “Five minutes.”
Relieved, I stepped inside. She shut the door but stood beside it, obviously ready to usher me out again at any moment. There was no time to come up with something better to say. It was time for the bald truth.
“I went to Birmingham to take the captain’s exam.”
Pepper’s hand fell from the door, her expression shifting from anger to confusion.
“I’ve been working toward promotion for weeks. Chief got me started on the process before this last deployment.” The words tumbled out, my heart pounding against my ribs in an urgent Please. Please. Please. “I had to finish the oral boards and the final assessment this week. That’s where I was.”
Her eyes narrowed. “How is this not exactly the same pattern? You putting the job first?”
“Because it’s the opposite.” I stepped closer, willing her to understand.
“Being captain means a more predictable schedule. It means less running into burning buildings and more managing the crew who does. It means better pay, better benefits.” I swallowed hard.
“It means a better work-life balance. The kind we never had before.”
I risked reaching for her hand, pitifully relieved when she didn’t jerk away.
“I’m putting down roots, Pepper. Real ones.
Planning for our future—the one we always talked about but I was too stupid to prioritize.
” Another step closer, so I could see the gold flecks that highlighted those eyes I loved so much.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to jinx it.
I wanted to surprise you when it was official.
And honestly? I wasn’t sure I’d pass. Didn’t want to get your hopes up in case it didn’t work out. ”
Not a flicker of reaction passed over her features, and I was reminded that my ex-wife had the best poker face of anyone I knew.
“I can see now that was the wrong call. I should have told you. It was exactly the kind of thing that drove us apart before—me making decisions without you. And I’m sorry.
” I squeezed her hand gently. “I’m so damn sorry.
But I need you to know I want to make this work.
I’m trying to make the changes you need—that we both need—so we can have all those dreams we planned.
The life. The family.” My voice dropped lower.
“I want that family with you, Pepper. Children with you. A home that’s actually a home. ”
My throat went tight with the fear that I’d fucked it up again. But I needed to get through the rest of this. Lay it all out.
“I’m ready now. And I’m sorry it took me so fucking long to get my head out of my ass. But I’m here. I’m all in. And I’m asking you to believe that I’ve changed.”
A tear slid down Pepper’s cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb, heart clenching at the sight. She’d shed way too many tears over my actions, and it killed me that I’d caused any more.
“You’re really doing this?” Her voice wavered. “Making these changes?”
“Already done most of them. Just waiting on the official word.” I cradled her face between my palms. “I love you. Never stopped. But I finally figured out that loving you means showing up for you. Being present. Building a life together instead of expecting you to fit into the cracks of mine.”
She pressed her forehead against my chest, shoulders shaking. I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo mixed with hints of the diner’s kitchen.
“I was so scared.” The words came out muffled against my shirt. “That we were falling into the same patterns. That you’d...”
“Never again.” I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I swear to God, Pepper. Never again.”
She tilted her face up, tears still glittering on her lashes, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You better mean that, Rhett MacAvoy. Because if you make captain and still manage to mess this up, I’ll never forgive you.”
Relief flooded through me. I bent and captured her lips with mine, pouring out years of regret and promise and love. Her fingers curled into my shirt, pulling me closer as she rose up on her toes to take the kiss deeper.
I was losing the thread of everything but the taste of her when she finally eased back. “When do you hear?”
“In a week or two. Enough time for me to wrap up the last of these projects around the house before I actually go back to duty.”
Her lips curved with an unquestionably wicked smile. “I have a better idea.”
Without another word, she towed me toward the bedroom.