Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
LARS
Aaron had always been close to his mom, but for the first time in years, she was truly the only person he wanted to see right now.
He pulled into the familiar drive after dropping Bri off at school and parked.
As he climbed out of his car, he glanced across the street to the Powell house.
Eight and a half months ago, he’d been standing at the end of the aisle, waiting to marry Charlie.
Nearly nine months ago, he’d walked away, certain he was ruining his life.
But for her happiness, for his brother’s, he was willing to do that.
This time, however, no one had run after him. No one had tried to stop him from leaving, and that had hurt more than just about anything.
As soon as he stepped into his childhood home, he let out a breath and nearly crumpled to his knees.
“Aaron? What are you doing here?” his mom said coming into the living room—probably from the spare bedroom she’d turned into a studio after his dad left them.
Her smile dropped as she approached, as if realizing something was wrong.
Because of course she could tell. He’d never been able to hide anything from her growing up.
She could read him too well. “What happened?”
She rushed the last few steps and pulled him into a hug. He held on to her like he had as a child, even though he was now several inches taller than her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, rubbing his back.
“Everything,” he finally whispered.
“Come sit.” She led him toward her studio instead of the couch.
It had always been one of his favorite places.
It was always so bright and full of life.
The room wasn’t huge, but she’d made it feel cozy with a desk beneath the windows that overlooked the backyard, bookshelves lining one full wall, an oversized lounge chair in the corner, and her tall easel in the center of the room.
His mom was why he’d become a graphic designer.
He loved art because he saw her be so passionate about it growing up.
At one time, he’d wanted to paint like her, like Charlie too, but then he started getting into digital art and the freedom it offered.
He’d been terrified to tell his mom at first, thinking she wouldn’t approve.
She loathed technology, though she’d relied on it to get her business going.
Now, she paid Charlie and Vi to do most of that for her.
But instead of disapproving, she’d used part of her savings to buy him a new laptop and drawing tablet.
As he sat in the massive cream-colored seat beside her now, he could still distinctly remember sitting in this very spot, working on his laptop while she painted.
He’d loved baseball, but the times he had off, the days he could relax and just…
be an artist like his mom, those were his favorite.
Especially when Charlie would join them.
Even before they started dating, she’d been his person. They’d been practically attached at the hip since birth.
“Ready to talk?” she asked, pulling him out of the memories.
“I think…” He sighed. “Mom, I… I’m…” Why was this so difficult? His mom would support him; he had no doubt about that. Yet, he couldn’t get the words out.
When he didn’t continue, she said, “You were at Lars’s house, right? Did something happen there?”
Aaron nodded.
“Are the girls—”
“Oh, no! They’re fine,” he said quickly. “Everyone is fine. At least physically.” His mom put a hand over his, and he realized he was picking at the chair. In the softest whisper, he told her, “I love him.”
For a few seconds, she didn’t respond, and he couldn’t make himself look up at her. Until she gripped his chin gently and forced him to. “Lars?”
Nodding again, he said, “I’m… bi.”
Her smile returned, slowly spreading. “Thank you for telling me.” She released his face to wrap an arm around his shoulders. When he leaned into her side, she said with a soft chuckle, “But I already knew that.”
His brow creased. “How?”
“Sweetheart, you are horrible at hiding things—your emotions, your true feelings.” She pushed him away enough to meet his gaze again. “Anyone you ever snuck into your room when you thought I was too preoccupied to notice.”
“You knew I was sneaking Charlie upstairs?” He made a face, cringing at the thought of her knowing what was going on.
“Who do you think was putting condoms in the damn bathroom?”
“Aiden…”
She laughed and shook her head.
“So, you knew and didn’t stop us?”
At that, she shrugged. “I figured if you two were already… getting together, you’d find another place to do it if I stopped you.
And honestly, at least here, I knew you’d be safe.
” With a smirk, she added, “In a small town like this, you really don’t want to be caught for public indecency. Trust me.”
“Mother!” he said, even as he chuckled.
“My point is, I saw you and Lars go into your room one day, before you were with Charlie,” she went on. “And you hadn’t even shut the door all the way yet when you started making out.”
“Well, shit.” He sighed, shaking his head before resting it on her shoulder once more.
She patted his cheek. “So, what’s going on now?”
He recounted everything from the past couple of weeks, as well as the situation with Melanie.
By the time he finished, he was lying back in the chair with his mom staring down at him.
He felt like he was in a therapy session.
Maybe he should give that a try. Letting everything out like this was cathartic.
“Now, Mel is pissed because she thinks he was cheating on her, and she got the job… I don’t know what’s going to happen, Mom. What if they all move to London?”
She sighed and pulled a pillow onto her lap. “Did you tell him how you feel?”
“Yeah.” It had been said in the heat of the moment last night, but he meant it. And he knew Lars was serious about this too. “But it’s complicated.”
“I think you just need to talk to him,” she said. “If you don’t want him leaving, tell him that.”
Aaron shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not my place,” he said, looking at the pillow she held. “I have no say in their family business. I’m just the friend who happened to start slee—dating one of the parents a few days ago. My opinion doesn’t matter, nor would it make a difference.”
His mom took one of his hands in hers. “You are a part of that family, Aaron. I’ve seen you with the girls, and I’m sorry, but you don’t act like just the fun uncle who sees them here and there.
You treat them like they’re your own kids, and there’s no way Lars and Mel don’t see that. They know how much you love them.”
Eyes burning, he nodded. “I can’t lose them, Mom. I… I can’t fathom not seeing them all the time.”
“Exactly.” She squeezed his hand. “You need to tell Lars that, show him that you want to be a permanent part of their lives. Even if Mel still takes them to London, at least you would’ve tried. At least Lars would know he has a reason to stay.”
“We’ve only been together a few days. That’s not—”
“That doesn’t matter,” she insisted, and he lifted his gaze once more. Before he could argue, she continued. “What’s really going on? Why are you scared to talk to him?”
Aaron clenched his jaw for a moment. Releasing her hand, he got up so he could pace the small room. “He’s one of my closest friends,” he started, trying to voice his concerns. “What if things don’t work out?”
“You know, you had this worry before about someone else…”
He stopped walking and faced his mom. “This is different though.”
“Is this about your dad?” she asked in a softer tone.
“Of course this is about Dad.” The back of his eyes burned as he fought to keep away the tears threatening to fall. “It’s always been about Dad. He left us, Mom. He left you, and you never remarried. I… can’t…”
“Stop,” she said, standing and stepping closer to pull him into another hug. “Shh.”
“He left me without so much as a goodbye,” Aaron whispered. “Everything had been fine, and then, he just… I don’t want to lose anyone else, especially like that.”
His mom gently eased him back. “Everything was not fine, Aaron. You were so young, and we tried to shield you from the worst of it, but your father and I weren’t happy.
We fought all the time. Yes, it tore me up when he left, but we were better off for it.
” She lifted a hand to his cheek. “I didn’t remarry, but I wasn’t lonely. ”
“But—”
She smirked. “You’re not the only one who’s good at keeping secrets. I’ve dated plenty over the years; I just didn’t think my sons wanted to know about that.”
Brow furrowed, Aaron took another step back. “Really?”
She let out a breathy laugh and nodded. “Those painting trips across the country when you were younger? I spent so many nights under the stars with our little group. It was basically a damn org—”
“Nope, you’re right.” He shook his head rapidly, trying to get the image out of his head. “I don’t want the details.” A thought hit him. “Wait. When Charlie joined you this summer…”
“We tamed things down,” his mom said with a smile. “It was a lot sneakier, which was fun.”
“Oh God.” Aaron groaned, rubbing at the side of his head. Needing to get back to the issue at hand, he said, “Fine, you aren’t lonely, but he hurt you.”
“Yes, he did.” She took a seat once more. “And I hated him for a long time, mostly because of how badly it hurt you and your brother. But you know what?”
“What?” he whispered.
She smiled and reached for his hand. When he moved forward to take it, she said, “I don’t regret marrying him. I don’t regret our time together because it brought me you and Aiden. And despite his choices, I think we’ve had a pretty nice life. We didn’t need him.”
“You don’t wish things had been different?”
“I wish he’d been different, that he’d been the father you two deserved, but no. I wouldn’t go back and change anything if it meant losing you guys. Sometimes, the risk and the potential for pain are worth it. You just have to be brave enough to take the chance.”
The doorbell rang before he could respond. Standing, she told him she would be right back. While she was gone, he thought about everything she’d said.
Aaron had been mad at his dad for so long, but for the last several years, he’d all but put the man out of his mind.
He rarely thought about him because his mom was right; they hadn’t needed him.
His mom had been more than enough, not to mention Charlie’s parents, Lars’s parents.
There was no shortage of love in his life without his dad.
The truth was, what hurt the most about the current situation was that it took getting sick for him to return to Perrington.
And even then, he hadn’t reached out. If Bri hadn’t come to find Aaron, he didn’t know if his dad would have ever tried to reconnect.
Worse still, he’d kept their sister away from them for eight years.
But he’d stuck it out with her after getting a taste of his own medicine. He wasn’t the greatest dad, but he did seem to be trying with her at least.
“Look who’s here,” his mom said, cutting into his thoughts with a familiar face following her into the room.
With a smile, he said, “Hey, Char Char.”
Charlie grinned and hugged him with one arm before setting a large canvas against the desk. “Hi. I’m sorry to interrupt; I was just bringing this to your mom. One of her friends bought it.”
He glanced down at the gorgeous landscape painting. The Northern Lights over a mountain range that looked so real, like a camera had captured the stunning moment.
“Holy shit, Charlie,” he said in amazement. “This is incredible.”
“Thanks.” Her cheeks blushed.
He opened his mouth to tease her, but his mom said, “Actually, Charlie, while you’re here, we could use another opinion.”
Aaron stared at his mom in confusion.
She stepped closer to him, as if to make sure he was really listening as she said, “Ask her if she regrets it. Ask if the risk is worth it.”
Understanding dawned on him. He met Charlie’s gaze, afraid to hear the answer. “Do you…”
She shook her head, seeming not to need more context. “I don’t regret going out with you. I hate that you lied and manipulated me and Aiden out of fear, but I don’t regret our time together. Believe it or not, you’re very easy to love, Aaron.”
He wanted to believe her, but that small voice in the back of his head kept saying it was a lie. If he was so easy to love, why did his dad leave? Why did Charlie choose Aid? Lowering his head, he whispered, “That might not be enough though.”
“Is this about…”
When she trailed off, he looked up again. Even now, she was protecting his secrets. He nodded. “Lars. She knows,” he said, tilting his head toward his mom, who’d moved to lean against the edge of the desk next to the canvas. “So does Mel. She’s home, and… she got the London job.”
Charlie mumbled a curse under her breath before pulling him into another hug. “I’m sorry.”
“I… I love him, Charlie. I love those girls. What do I do if they leave?” he asked, releasing her.
She stared up at him with a soft smile. “You fight for them. You make sure he knows where you stand, and you fight like hell to keep them in your life.”
“I left this morning to give them time to talk as a family,” he said, finally giving voice to what really upset him earlier.
“I wanted him to tell me to stay. That was his chance to… I don’t know, tell me I had a place with them.
But he didn’t say a word. He just watched me leave, so I don’t think he’s ready for that level of honesty or commitment.
And I sure as hell don’t want to ask him to choose between us. ”
“So don’t,” his mom said. “But if you want a life with him, he needs to know. He deserves to know that when they decide what to do; he needs all the information. And if you’re willing to stick by his side no matter what happens… he needs to know that too.”
Aaron hadn’t thought about it like that. Or rather, he’d tried not to. “We’ve only been together a few days. That’s a lot to risk for a six-day relationship that hasn’t even been fully defined.”
“Like I said,” his mom put a hand on his arm, “sometimes, the risk and potential pain are worth it. Just ask her.”
Meeting his ex’s gaze again, he asked, “Is it worth it, Charlie? Is it worth risking friendship when it could hurt this bad?”
“It’s terrifying, but it’s absolutely worth it,” she said without hesitation. “It’s worth everything if you love them.”