9. Wisdom
nine
Wisdom
I gaze out the window in a fog of wonderment.
Everything is so bright and so beautiful.
I never realized how many colors there were.
Even the sounds have colors. Purple birds are singing, pink kids are laughing, and there’s bright yellow music everywhere.
This song is my favorite! I roll the window down and lean my head out so everyone can hear the yellow music.
I sing loud even though I don't remember the words. My voice sounds weird, like it did in the chair after they put the mask on my face, but it’s a good weird.
The kind of weird that makes people famous.
“Jess, get back in the car and roll up the window! It’s freezing out there.”
I pull my head back in and smile at her. “Mom, you're so beautiful! I love you.” Tyler laughs from the backseat. I turn back and smile at him. “Ty, I love you too!”
Tyler scrunches up his face at me. “Ew, that’s gross Jess! You have blood all over your teeth."
“That’s cause I’m a vampire singer.” I show him my fangs.
Mom shakes her head and hands me a water bottle. “Take a sip and spit it out the window.”
I look at the water bottle for a long time, but don’t drink it. What if someone put something in it?
There’s a car at our house. It's a car I've seen before, but I don’t remember when.
“Oh, Jacob’s here. I thought he wasn’t coming until tomorrow morning,” Mom says.
I climb up on my knees in the seat. “Jacob? I love Jacob!” I put my head back out the window and yell at him. “Hey Jacob.”
He walks over to the car as we slow to a stop. “Hey Jess.”
“You’re here!” I wave enthusiastically from the seat. “You look awesome!” I open the door and try to get to him. I get tangled in the seatbelt and fall at his feet.
“Are you okay?” Jacob asks. He puts out his hand to help me up.
I reach for his hand but miss and fall forward again. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get my feet to go the right direction. “My legs don’t work. The doctor did something to them.”
“Maybe you could help her upstairs?” Mom asks. “I don’t know what they gave her or how much, but I don’t think I can get her up to her room by myself.”
“Sure.” Jacob kneels down next to me and slides one arm under my legs and the other around my waist. “Hold on tight, okay?” I wrap my arms around his neck as tight as I can.
He grunts. “Maybe not that tight. I need to be able to move.”
“Wow!” I say as he picks me up. “You’re really strong. And really, really hot.”
“Thank you.” He adjusts his hold on me. “Seriously, you need to give me a little room to breathe.”
I squeeze tighter. “Nope. I’m never, ever letting you go.” Tyler is laughing. I laugh too. Everything is so funny.
“Ty, help me with the groceries!” Mom yells.
Tyler turns around and goes back to the car. I giggle. “I think Tyler’s in trouble.”
“Sounds like it,” Jacob says.
“But you don’t have to carry groceries. You get to carry me.”
“Lucky me,” Jacob says.
I lean my head on his shoulder. "You are so lucky!"
He carries me up the stairs and to my bedroom. “Alright, last stop.” He leans over my bed, but I keep my arms around him, so he can’t put me down. “C’mon Jess, you’re going to have to let go.”
“I’m kind of drugged-out aren’t I?”
“I’d say so,” Jacob says.
“But it’s not like before. Now, I’m just silly. Before I was scared and everything was foggy. I think he put something in my drink.”
Jacob stops trying to put me down. “Who put something in your drink?”
I look at him incredulously. “Brad. You know, Brad? Everyone knows Brad.”
“Brad put something in your drink?” Jacob's face isn’t smiling anymore.
The light, happy feeling I had before is gone. I’m suddenly sad, so sad I want to cry. But I can't let Jacob see me cry. “Maybe. It might just have been gum, or the smoke from the party. Lexie told him to do it.”
“Did he hurt you?” Jacob sounds mad. Is he mad at me?
“No. I hurt him. I scratched his face. He hates me now. They all do.”
“I’m going to put you down now.”
I don’t want to let him go, but I don't want him to be mad at me. I let my arms slide off his neck. I know I said something I shouldn’t have. I'm not sure what it was. He leans over me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” I try to smile, but my face sags like a deflated balloon. “I’m a tough girl, remember?”
"I remember." He looks at me for a long time. Like he wants to say something else. Finally, he stands up. “I hope you feel better. See you tomorrow, Jess.”