47. Last Dance
forty-seven
Last Dance
A s soon as I walk into the hotel ballroom where the prom is being held, my stomach clenches, my hands get cold, and I scan the crowd. Jasmine picks up on my mood and understands what I’m looking for before I do.
“He won't be here,” she says. “Didn’t you hear? He got suspended and banned from Prom, pending the outcome of the investigation?”
“No.” I shake my head, confused. I was sure Brad would be here, larger than life, with some poor girl on his arm, tormenting me from across the room. “What happened?”
Jasmine pulls me to the side, even though with the music blaring, no one could overhear her.
“He spent the weekend at a party at the university where he got his scholarship. After the party was over, a girl who had been there went to the police. Everything is hushed up and there are tons of rumors flying around, but you can guess what she’s accusing him of. ”
Another girl.
I touch the locket hidden under the neckline of my dress. Guilt settles on my shoulders like a lead blanket.
“I forgot this all happened while you were up to your neck in AP tests,” Jasmine says.
I pull my phone out of my purse, but no one has called or left a message.
“Brad not being here is a good thing, right? You can just have fun and not worry about what he might do,” Jasmine says.
I put my phone away. “Yeah.” I try to focus on the promise I made to myself to forget about everything and enjoy myself.
I leave my phone in my purse at the coat check.
A few songs in our shoes end up there too.
Gage spreads himself around generously. He dances with me as much as with Jasmine.
I’m glad he’s here. He loosens me up better than the alcohol did.
I’m able to laugh and dance and mostly forget about the phone call and Brad and even Jacob.
When it's time to go, I retrieve my phone. There’s a text message from an unknown caller.
Did you decide? Will you help me?
I stare at it for a long moment. I’m thinking of Brad hurting someone else, about him going on to be a football star in a bigger place and getting away with all the things he’s done. More than that, I think of the next girl and the next.
I can’t let that happen.
I text back:
I’ll do whatever it takes to bring him down.
“So, after-party, movies at my place, what do you want to do?” Jasmine pulls my gaze away from my phone.
She and Gage are holding hands. As careful as Gage has been to give us equal attention, I know they want to be alone.
Gage is only here for a couple of days. After that, he goes to basic training, and Jasmine goes off to college.
Like all of us, their time is running out fast.
“Actually, I’m pretty tired.” It’s not entirely a lie. “I’m used to going to bed early. If you don’t mind, I want to go home.”
Jasmine drops Gage’s hand and turns to face me. “No, Jess. Come with us. You could stay at my house since your parents are out of town. If you get tired, you can sleep in the guest room.”
“Come on,” Gage almost sounds sincere. “The party’s just getting started. You can sleep all day tomorrow.”
For a second I let myself be torn, then I shake my head. I am tired, and my brain is too full of what I need to do to help the person on the other end of the line. “I won't be any fun for the rest of the night. Sorry guys, Cinderella has hit her midnight.”
Gage and Jasmine exchange a glance, then she says, “We can ditch Gage if that helps. Put on pajamas and watch movies at my house.”
“I brought my pajamas,” Gage says hopefully. Jasmine punches him on the shoulder.
I shake my head. “I’m sure. I just want to sleep.”
To prove my point, I climb in the backseat and lean against the window as we drive away.
I breathe Jacob’s smell from the upholstery and subconsciously touch the locket, still hidden beneath my dress.
I stop myself from drifting into thoughts of everything I’d hoped would happen.There are too many other things on my mind to think of him right now.
Gage and Jasmine both walk me to the door when I get home. “Don’t do anything stupid,” I remind them.
“Us?” Gage looks at me, his face a picture of innocence.
I roll my eyes and give them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I love you two. Thanks for tonight. It was unforgettable.”
“Just like I promised,” Gage says. He pauses. “Jess, I think you and Jacob need to–”
I shake my head, stopping him from whatever he was about to say. I can’t go back there. Somehow, I’ll make Jacob into another brother. I’ll keep loving him, just not in the way I thought I wanted to.
After they drive away, I stand in front of the mirror in the hallway.
I’m reluctant to take off my dress. Tonight was memorable, maybe not the prom I’d hoped for, but I felt beautiful and wanted and loved–more than I have for a long time.
I have good friends. I’m glad Gage came. I wonder if that was Jacob’s idea too.
I undo the chain and slip the locket out from under my dress. I rub it between my fingers. If I’m going to the police with what Brad did, I’m going to need all the courage I can get, but it needs to be my courage, not borrowed courage from a fantasy that’s never going to come true.
Moonlight bathes the path between the house and barn.
I don’t need my phone for light. I leave my high-heeled shoes by the door and step lightly along the path, my dress brushing the ground.
The night air makes me shiver. There’s something romantic about stepping out into the moonlight, barefoot in a satin gown, to leave behind a token from a lost love, or a love that never was.
Climbing into the loft with a full skirt is less romantic, but I get to the place where Jacob kissed me.
I run the locket across my lips, allowing myself to remember one more time.
Then I tuck it up in the corner between the beams where Jacob had hidden it before he gave it to me. It feels fitting to leave it there.
The walk back to the house is chillier and less dramatic. I feel the ache of loss, but behind it is a building of strength that I know is all mine. I can do this. All on my own.
Without Jacob.
“Did you save a dance for me?”
I turn to face the figure stepping out of the dark.