Chapter 35
Shelby handed Ollie to Caleb, glowering as she did so. Then she grabbed their empty plates and followed Liddy into the kitchen.
Her friend was rinsing dishes and loading them into the dishwasher.
Shelby set the plates in the sink. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was happening.”
Liddy’s gaze roamed over her face. “Are you really okay?”
“Yes. It just hit me kind of suddenly that the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, and prolonging it would’ve only been cruel
to Logan. I don’t know why I didn’t talk it over with you. I guess I just felt bad about it. He didn’t do anything wrong.
And I was afraid everyone would think it was because of Gray.”
“I’m not ‘everyone.’”
Shelby winced. “No, you’re not. I should’ve told you how I was feeling.”
“Hard to develop feelings for someone you’re holding at arm’s length.”
Liddy dried her hands on a towel and faced Shelby, her eyes full of empathy. “How are you feeling?”
“Confused. Logan accused me of holding him at arm’s length. Like I held back a part of myself or something.”
“Did you?”
“I didn’t think so. But now I wonder if he’s right. He said I had high walls.”
Liddy seemed to consider this. “Well, your first experience with love ended in disaster. Most people would be a little guarded after a heartbreak like that.”
Was that what she’d been doing? Guarding her heart?
“What was the defining moment? What made you realize you wanted to break up with him?”
“Honestly? When I was out on that boat with Gray last week, I remembered a lot of things. I remembered the way I felt back
when we were together. I remembered the way his touch made me feel. Like I’d just die without it, you know? I loved him so
much. I thought about him all the time. I wanted to be with him constantly. And he... saw me. He saw who I was and he didn’t just love me—he adored me.”
Liddy brushed Shelby’s hair back, her blue eyes soft and warm.
“No one has made me feel anything like that before or since—certainly not Logan. I kept waiting to feel more for him. I mean,
I like him. I respect him. On paper he’s perfect for me.”
“Except he’s not.”
Shelby shook her head. “I wish he were. It would be so much easier.”
“The heart wants what the heart wants.”
“My heart does not want Gray. He’s a dead end. Grandville will never be his home. He made that clear even back then, and I can’t even blame him
for feeling that way. I was an idiot for ever thinking we could work out.”
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
Shelby opened her mouth. Closed it again. Being with him again, she could see that young man who’d had everything stacked
against him. The guy who was determined to make something of himself. The one who saw all the way down deep inside her and
loved her anyway.
But she also saw the man he’d become. The one who’d risen from nothing. Who’d achieved his goals. He was steady and confident
and comfortable with who he was. She was proud of him.
And every now and then he gazed at her as if he remembered what they’d had. Like he missed it too.
Liddy squeezed her arm. “We’re being honest, remember?”
Shelby released a sigh. “I think a part of me will always care about Gray. People say you never forget your first love. That
first time you fall is such an incredible experience. The spark, the passion, the way it completely consumes you. Maybe that’s
why I can’t seem to move on. Why I can’t seem to find anything that even comes close.”
“You should hold out for that, Shel. Don’t settle. You deserve to feel that way about someone. Deserve to be loved that way
in return.”
“But how will I ever get there if I’m afraid of heartbreak?” Did she have the courage to let herself fall so deeply again?
“Is it fear of heartbreak or fear of abandonment?”
“They seem to be one and the same for me. How did Caleb survive unscathed? Mom left him too.”
“Oh, he didn’t. That particular issue has reared its ugly head a time or two. We’re working through it though. What we have,
the love we have, is worth it. You remember what it feels like to be so deeply in love.”
She studied Liddy, who’d been married to Caleb for five years. “But doesn’t it... It can’t burn like that forever, can
it? Doesn’t the thrill fade over time?”
Liddy smiled softly. “Well, it does change. New love is kind of like a sapling tree that pushes to the surface, fresh and
beautiful and vibrant. But it’s also vulnerable because it’s young and fragile. Then over time its roots sink down deep so
it can hold through the tough times—storms and droughts—because they’re inevitable. Mature love grows deeper, stronger, with
a beauty all its own. That’s what Caleb and I have together. And it’s worth waiting for. It’s worth making yourself vulnerable
in order to find it.”
Shelby’s eyes stung at the beautiful picture Liddy painted. Her heart clenched with yearning. “I want that.” But she’d have
to be willing to risk heartbreak to get it.
Liddy pulled her into a hug. “You’ll find it. I know you will.”
“Thanks.” She gave Liddy a squeeze. She hoped she had the courage to open herself in that way. Having Gray in town, working
with him, was bringing so many emotions to the surface. She wasn’t sure yet if that was good or bad.
But one thing she didn’t like was the way her brother and dad were responding to his presence. She pulled back from Liddy.
“Maybe you can help me with Caleb. Why is he so stuck on this grudge against Gray?”
“Obviously he doesn’t want to see you hurt again. But part of me also thinks he’s fixating on it because... he’s got other
things going on. Things he doesn’t necessarily want to dwell on.”
A knot of concern tightened in Shelby’s gut. “What’s going on? Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. He just...” Liddy paused as if weighing how much she should say. “He’s having a bit of a dry spell with his
work.”
“What? Since when?”
“Quite a while now. Let’s just say he was hoping the change in scenery would fix all his problems, and it hasn’t really worked
out that way.”
Caleb entered with a stack of glasses. He took in the pair of them, then aimed a frown at his wife. “You told her.”
Liddy crossed her arms. “There’s too much secrecy going on around here. You guys are family. Act like it.” Giving him a pointed
look, she left the room.
Caleb approached the sink and set the glasses in, his expression slack, his eyes dull.
She hated that he’d been suffering silently. “She’s right. You should’ve told us. What’s going on with your art?”
“If I knew that, I would’ve fixed it by now.” His flat tone broke her heart.
Shelby didn’t know much about the creative process. Writers got writer’s block. Did artists get painter’s block? “Help me understand. What happens when you sit down to paint?”
He snorted. “Crap. That’s what happens.”
“Caleb. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think. We’re not always the best judges of our own work.”
“Trust me, it’s nothing I want framed and mounted in a gallery. I’ve had little blocks before but nothing like this. I’ve
started dozens of pieces and they all end up in the garbage—right where they belong.”
“Maybe you need to be near your subject.” She hated the thought of them returning to the city, but she didn’t like seeing
her brother so miserable either.
“This whole thing started when we were in the city. This struggle’s been going on for months. I hid it from Liddy and my gallerist.”
He turned weary eyes on her. Caleb’s art meant everything to him. Enough that he’d left his home and family for it.
It obviously pained him greatly to be flailing. “Oh, Caleb. I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.” She couldn’t
fix this. But she could pray for him.
His gaze sharpened on her, worry flickering in his eyes. “What if it doesn’t come back, Shelby? What if I’ve lost it for good?”
She shook her head. “Not possible. You’re an artist all the way down to your soul, brother. It’ll find its way out again.
You’ll see. Does Dad know what’s going on?”
“You kidding? He’d just use it as an argument for why I should move back to Grandville.”
“You’re probably right. Still, he wants the best for you. We all do.”
Caleb forced a smile. “Sorry to be such a downer on Thanksgiving Day.”
“I’m glad you told me what’s going on. Well,” she added when he shot her a look. “I’m glad Liddy told me what’s going on when you should’ve. And hey, maybe the Giants will win and salvage our day.”
He checked his watch. “It’s about that time.”
She smirked as she tossed the towel over his shoulder. “Too bad it’s your turn to do the dishes.”
Shelby leaned back against the sofa and groaned. “If I eat anything else within the next twenty-four hours, someone put me
out of my misery.” Her plate sat on the coffee table, not a crumb of the pecan pie or a smear of whipped cream left behind.
“I’m not eating for a week,” Liddy said.
“I’m happy to keep all the leftovers.” Dad was working on his second slice of pie, Louie lying at his feet, head resting on
his paws.
The Giants had come through for the victory, but that couldn’t eradicate Shelby’s concern for Caleb. He didn’t exactly have
a plan B for his career. And Liddy had chosen to stay home with Ollie. He must feel so much pressure to produce, and Shelby
couldn’t imagine that would help his creativity.
“What’s up with Louie?” Caleb asked. “He usually stares us down when we’re eating.”
“His appetite’s been a little down,” Dad said.
“Is he eating his food?” Liddy asked.
“Yeah, just not all of it. I’m sure he’s fine, but I’ll have to wait till Monday to figure out what’s going on. I called Patrick
Ballard’s office yesterday to make an appointment, but Patrick’s out of town for the holiday weekend.”
Shelby had only been half listening to the conversation until she heard Patrick’s name. Her mind played back her dad’s words.
Patrick was out of town? But Gray was having supper over there tonight.
“I can always take him to that vet in Cornelius. But Patrick knows his medical history, so I’d rather wait.”
“What about that emergency clinic in Huntersville?” Caleb said.
Dad petted Louie, who perked up at the attention. “If he gets worse I’ll give them a call. He seems fine otherwise.”
Shelby leaned forward in her seat. “Did you say Patrick was out of town for the holiday weekend?”
“Yeah, why?”
Was it possible she’d misunderstood? That Gray had gone out of town with his friend? But didn’t Patrick’s family live in Asheville?
That was two hours away. Seemed kind of too far to drive when he had to be at the store bright and early for the big sale.
Her dad was waiting for her reply. “No reason.”
Shelby gathered the pie plates, took them to the kitchen, and set them in the dishwater. Either Gray was out of town or he’d
lied about his plans. Whichever it was, she was determined to find out.